Frozen Barriers (48 page)

Christmas

2015

Everyone is sitting around the living room after Christmas dinner at our house. The fireplace is crackling and a fresh dusting of snow is falling outside. Emily and I took on the holiday dinners once we bought our own house just after we were married. She used the money from her father’s company sale to pay for the small cape-style home about two miles from my parents’ house. She said she couldn’t think of a better way to use the money. We had saved up enough from our skating careers to live comfortably for a while. We owe a lot of that luxury to our parents who never charged us rent a day in our lives.

Dave and Sue moved into our old garage apartment, and Mom and Dad welcomed them with open arms. Mom is able to baby-sit Brittany while Dave and Sue work in the afternoons. I have no doubt that little ragamuffin with curly brown hair, hitting Aspen over the head with a red Solo cup, belongs to Dave. Sue has her hands full with not only her, but also Dave. It’s as though she has two kids. Mom hounds them on a regular basis about getting married, and he usually has a panic attack. Someday, he’ll finally see his full potential as a dad and a husband. Today is just not that day.

Courtney is currently home from her internship abroad. She finally made it to Paris and spent six months there working on becoming a freelance photographer. Mom has missed her around the house this past semester. With Court being away, her little sous-chef wasn’t around to help create new dishes with her. Emily and Sue tried to fill that void the best they could, but both of them didn’t have a lot of extra time. Now that Courtney is home, she’s testing out the photography scene in Boston and working full-time at the bakery. She’s learned a few new culinary skills with the French cuisine.

Mom enjoys days like these when the entire family is together, and she can sit back and relax with all of us. She’s relaxed now from too much turkey and presents that she’s passed out on the other end of the sofa. Not even Brittany’s high-pitched squeals can wake her.

Josh is sitting at the dining room table talking to Dad about some kind of legal documents he had to file the other day for the State Police. I watch as he glances up past me toward the girls. A ghost of a smile forms at the corners of his mouth. He’s finally found happiness after years of regret. It might have taken him a while, but it’s right there in front of him. It’s as if the night of the accident something finally clicked, and he was able to let go of the past.

Mom and Dad have retired completely. They spend about a month or two in Savannah during the winter and summer months. Dad’s retirement package from the chemical company allowed them to buy a small one-bedroom condo on the ocean. They like it, but they miss all of us when they are gone.

Emily stops talking to the girls and catches me staring at her from the sofa. She slowly gets up and walks over to me. She’s still as beautiful as the day I married her; in fact, she’s become more so since then. Slowly sitting next to me, I reach my arms out as she hands me my little boy who’s fast asleep dressed in his baby Santa suit. Ben is a little over three months old and missed being born on the day I asked Emily out by a few days.

She runs her fingers over his fuzzy hair as she looks up at me. “Best Christmas ever?”

“Well, considering last Christmas you told me you were pregnant, and this Christmas you’ve given me this little guy, I’d have to say yes.” I lean down to kiss her on the lips as she smiles softly. I pull away, trying not to wake Ben. “I’m going to put him in the crib,” I say lightly as I stand with Ben on my shoulder as his little arms dangle against me.

I turn on the baby monitor next to the crib. Watching my son take little breaths as he sleeps, I can’t help but think my decision to leave the AHL after the Calder Cup win last year was the best decision I ever made. I never stopped playing hockey. I just stopped playing competitively. Turns out the Monarchs had some connections with a local youth hockey league and they were in search of a Manager, and given the Monarchs were already working closely with them, I was a shoo-in for the position. I love teaching the kids all the skills I learned growing up, and the best part of it all is I still get to come home every night to my wife and son.

Emily was finally able to lace up her skates again after many months of rehab. She coached the girls at the Boston Skating Club for about six months. Once she found out she was pregnant, she knew she had to make another huge decision in her life. She decided to step away from the lengthy drive to the Boston club. With a number of fantastic references, she managed to find coaching positions at the Forum.

Once her parents’ divorce was finalized, Emily never heard from them again. Her father was pulled into some legal battle over the sale of his company. Emily’s mother is apparently now living in Denver with Emily’s uncle from what she’s heard through the rumor mill on the news.

I hear her step into the room quietly and feel her arms wrap around my waist behind me. I pull her so she’s in front of me as we watch Ben in his crib. Sliding her blonde hair to the side, I place gentle kisses along her neck, saying, “Babe, how is it possible to love you more every day I’m with you?”

“Probably, the same way my two favorite men fill my heart with more joy and love than I ever thought possible,” she says as she turns to look into my eyes.

“Em? Are you living your dreams?” I whisper into her ear as I hold her tighter.

Nodding back with a warm smile and placing her hand over my heart, she replies, “The same way you’re following your heart.”

Walking back toward our family and friends, we know we were meant to run into each other that fateful day at the rink as kids. Had we never met, neither of us would have broken down the barriers in our lives in order to find what our one true love was.

Each other.

The End

January 2014

The pained sound in my brother Jeremy’s voice as I told him about Emily’s car accident earlier, I never want to hear again. I run through the halls of Mass General Hospital trying to remain calm as I attempt to find out any information about Sue and Emily. It’s not easy when you have your family in the waiting room of the ER thinking the worst, and nobody will give you an ounce of help, even when you are in uniform.

My feet can’t keep up with my racing heart until I walk into one of the two hospital rooms I need to be in. My heart breaks again as she’s lying there in Dave’s arms; their hands are clutching her rounded belly. The life I should have had. The family and future I threw away when I thought I was doing the right thing for her.

Sue is happy with Dave, and the baby will bond them forever. She’ll never be mine again.
Why is it so fuckin’ real now?
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve asked that question since they got together months ago.

Turning away from the room, I wander the halls, trying to keep myself from losing it. I slam my hands against the swinging door toward the waiting room, except it stops midway, and I hear a woman’s voice on the other side spouting profanities left and right.

I push the door ajar, slower this time, peeking around to see a petite brunette staring back at me. She’s holding her shoulder as her eyes shoot daggers up at me. When my eyes meet hers, I extend my hand, offering her some help getting up. She swats it away and rises to her feet on her own.

Her shoulder is in a sling, finger in a brace, and her nose is black and blue. This should raise red flags for me. I’m a cop. I should see these things as questionable, especially for a girl. I still haven’t said a word to her. I’m mesmerized by the beauty behind her injuries. My gaze drops from her face, and I slowly take all of her in.

Her clothes pique my curiosity. She’s wearing every color imaginable, pink and black stripped knee-high socks over fishnet stockings and boy shorts under what can only be described as an adult version of a Girl Scout mini-dress. What is up with this outfit? Does she not realize it’s winter outside? Although it is kinda hot in a freaky way.

She speaks before I do, “Trying to lengthen my hospital stay? I’d really like to get the hell out of here, and not see what other injuries I can add to my list tonight.”
Fuckin’ A. Who is this girl?
Better yet, how does a girl with more attitude than size end up with injuries like this?

Giving me an annoyed look, she tries to push by me with her one good arm. “Do you mind? I can’t get by if you’re blocking the exit. I’ve got places to go, so move it or lose it.”

As I move off to the side and let her pass, my head turns to watch her walk toward another section of the hospital. Catching the back of her shirt, I notice the writing.
Cosmonaughties
.

What the hell is a Cosmonaughtie? And why the hell am I still speechless?

I’ve been running away from my past for nearly three years. I’m not saying I had it bad growing up, quite the opposite, actually. I grew up in Connecticut about an hour from New York City. You can call my family upper middle class, but that’s not what I’ve been running from. No, I’m the one who made a piss-poor decision when I chose the last guy I dated.

I’ve finally started over. I’ve found my footing here in Massachusetts. I have a group of roommates who I call my sisters. They will fight for me and back me up no matter what. They don’t go by the names “Decker in the Jaw”, “Juicy Lucy”, and “Rose from the Dead” just for fun. Those are their fighting names. Their alter egos, so to speak.

I go by the name “Sammy Sweet Cheeks.” You’ll understand later.

Why is it when the phone call came in a few days ago, letting me know my one fear in the world could threaten to find me again, did I wonder if my girls would be enough to keep me safe. Fight all they want, this was a different beast to go up against.

He tried to kill me once. He most certainly will try again. This has been my fear for so long.

Being in the hospital brings back some painful memories. Memories I don’t care to have cross my mind anymore. Memories of what he did to me on that dreadful night so many years ago. Running my hands over my neck, I recall gasping for what almost was my last breath as he choked the life out of me with just one hand.