Frost (31 page)

"You're incredible. I can't believe you're at this level after so little training."

"It's not me," I muttered. "It's like I'm not even in my body." I shrugged and admitted something I hadn't even wanted to tell myself. "It's creepy, but it feels...good. Like some part of me loves this." I shuddered. "But it's so not me."

"Well, if it's any consolation, you’re ready for battle."

It wasn't consolation at all. Instead, it forced my hand. I had to make a decision about what I was going to do—go with Loki or set off on my own—and there wasn't much time left to choose.

It was hard not to picture Loki waiting for me in the servants' quarters, begging me to come back with him.

The thought sent a jolt through me. I’d been so caught up with my own problems that I hadn’t thought about it any other way. But Loki’s people were about to be attacked. I had two weeks to decide who the bad guy was.

Great. Just great.

"Lunch," Erik said. "And then I'll see you in the library."

I nodded, completely distracted. Lunch was the last thing on my mind.

The great hall was packed. When I walked in, the smell of roast pheasant made my mouth water. And I felt eyes on my back as I passed between the center tables.

The full-blooded jotun didn’t say anything, but the burning stares were enough to make me nervous. When I reached the half-blood table, I was relieved to spot Charlotte waving me over.

“Megan! Over here!” She nudged Becca, who gave me a wide smile and scooted over on the bench. On Charlotte’s other side was a slim-faced, young man with grayish eyes and wavy, blond hair down to his shoulders. He was pretty cute.

Charlotte turned to him. “Davin, this is Megan—I guess everyone calls her Amora, but I don’t. Megan, meet Davin.”

Davin reached over Charlotte, his hand extended. “Nice to meet you, Megan.”

He got automatic brownie points for calling me my real name. I shook his hand. “Nice to meet you too. I hear you guys met on some walk-under-the-stars thing.”

“We did.” Davin gave Charlotte a sideways look and a grin. “I was dazzled by the sheer beauty, and the stars weren’t bad, either.”

I chewed my bottom lip, holding back laughter as Charlotte went beet red and giggled.

Becca laughed. “Megan, you should come with us tonight. They do it every night. It’s so gorgeous.”

I was about to say yes, but something popped up in the back of my mind. There was something else going on tonight. Loki.

The thought of meeting him in the servants’ quarters made the tips of my ears start to burn. “Yeah,” I said. “Maybe I will.”

“You totally should. It’s so amazing. You get dressed up and flirt.” Amy shot Elliot a look from across the table, and his cheeks flushed. Karina scowled, first at him and then at Amy.

Interesting. How long had that been going on?

Amy didn’t seem to notice the drama she’d just created. “And you get to see all the best hairstyles and show off your own.” She tilted her head to show me the back of her hair, which was done in an intricate twist. “I made the servants do it this morning. Isn’t it amazing? It’s just like what the queen was wearing the other day.”

“Jeez.” Stacy, who was sitting on the other side of Davin, rolled her eyes. “Your adoration is getting out of hand.”

I hid a smile behind a forkful of roast, amused at the look Amy shot back at her.

Charlotte gently bumped my knee under the table. When I looked up, she whispered, “Are you okay? You seem kind of far away.”

“I’m fine. Just thinking.”

She didn’t say anything, and when I leaned back on the bench I could see she and Davin were holding hands underneath the table. Maybe, if I decided to go, she 
wouldn’t
 come with me. The idea of making a break for it on my own was even scarier. Dropping my dinner roll back onto my plate, I pushed it away. I wasn’t hungry anymore. 

~ * ~

The library was almost empty when I entered, and I took a few minutes to sit back and enjoy the musty, old-book smell while I waited for Erik. There were only two people browsing the shelves. Everyone else was at lunch. There were a few old books lying on the nearest table, and one of the titles was actually in English, and I traced one finger over the gold embossed letters.

A History of Jotunheim.
Well, that sounded dry.

Soft footsteps approached, and I glanced up as Erik entered with a wide smile. “You’re early. Wanted some peace and quiet?”

“Yeah.” I tried to smile back as he settled into the chair across from me. “Lots on my mind.”

“I can hardly blame you.”

I stared at the book, avoiding his gaze. He had no idea how much I 
really
 had on my mind. Could he tell I was keeping something from him?

“How are you feeling?” He darted a look around the library, and his voice dropped even lower. “I know this was a shock to you.”

“Freaked out.” I frowned. “I’m not actually Amora. I don’t think...I don’t think I could kill anyone.” At least, not on purpose.

I tried not to picture the frozen detective. There was enough to worry about without adding to it.

Erik rested his chin in one hand and studied my face. I ducked my head, brushing sweaty palms on the front of my shirt. He had to be able to tell I was hiding something. That I was planning on running.

“I never asked you what you thought of all of this. The palace, the queen...”

The queen. Her voice was suddenly in my head, telling me that there were no prisoners. I tried to keep my face blank, but Erik nodded thoughtfully.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“No,” he said. “You didn’t have to.”

My throat tightened. Would they brand me a traitor just for having doubts about the queen?

He looked around again. One of the book browsers had moved closer. Erik leaned forward and dropped his voice to a whisper. “We can’t really talk here. Will you go with me to the starlight walk tomorrow night? We’ll be able to discuss things far more freely.”

Relief flooded through me. “Sure. That sounds fine.”

“Great. I’ll come by your room to escort you there around ten.”

Escort me? It was funny how old-fashioned the jotun could be. “Sounds good. I’ll see you at ten.”

“Excellent. We should get some work done.” Grinning, Erik handed me the history book I’d been toying with. “You can take this back to your room for some light reading—we’ll talk about the text tomorrow.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed. “A quiz. And here I thought I was done with all of that high school stuff.”

~ * ~

I skipped the banquet that night. The idea of trying to make polite conversation while a million frantic thoughts rattled around in my brain wasn’t appealing. Besides, I was putting my plan into action now. I’d been planning to do it later tonight, but it was sort of perfect now. Everyone was at the banquet, and the hallways were almost empty. It was scary, and I might have chickened out if it hadn’t been for the constant thought that pulsed in the back of my mind. Loki’s people were about to be attacked. He had less than two weeks to get back there and warn them.

In my room, I changed out of my light-blue dress and into something less noticeable. I didn’t have access to the grays and browns the servants wore, but I found a simple, black maxi dress in the bottom drawer.

After that, I pushed through the doors, sweeping past the Viking twins, ignoring them completely. They never talked to me, and I’d stopped trying to get them to crack. There was no point. I thought it actually might be fun to ditch them, to see one of them frustrated. Or at least making
some
sort of facial expression.

The bathroom was only a few hallways down. How suspicious would it look if I went straight from my bedroom—which had its own bathroom—to that one? The thought slowed me down. I hadn’t even considered it. I caught my hands drifting up to my mouth and forced them down. Chewing my nails would make it even more obvious. I needed a story.

We rounded the corner, coming up on the bathroom. I was so nervous about coming up with a story that I felt a little nauseated, which gave me an idea.

I clapped my hand to my stomach with a groan. “Oh, I don’t feel good.” I stopped in front of the bathroom door and shouldered it open, both hands on my stomach. “Something I ate, maybe.”

Shit. That was way too theatrical.

Shockingly, one of the Viking twins actually spoke. “Does my lady require assistance?”

“No, thanks,” I stammered. “I just... I might be in here awhile.” My cheeks started to burn, and I whirled around and slammed the door shut before running for the stall so they could hear my shoes slapping the icy floor. I shoved the stall door too so it smacked the wall, just for good measure.

I needed a way to muffle the sounds of what I was actually doing. Impulsively, I reached out and flushed the toilet. Then I made my way over to the sink as quietly as I could to turn one of the taps on. Maybe they would think I was masking...other noises.

Well, this was far more embarrassing than I’d thought it would be.

It didn’t matter though. There, on the far wall of the bathroom, was the fainting couch. I’d noticed it the first time I’d been in this bathroom and thought it was silly. Who wanted to hang out in the bathroom? Now, I was absurdly grateful for the bathroom couch. It was going to make this easy.

Moving as quickly and as quietly as I could, I pushed the couch directly under the window and climbed on, the flat cushions sagging under my shoes. The window stuck at first, and I ground my teeth together, my palms sweaty, my fingers slipping for purchase on the glass. Finally, it slid open with a squeak, and I froze in place, glancing back over my shoulder. There was no noise from outside the door.

I had to make this fast. They would only believe I was in there for so long before they started to get suspicious.

Climbing out the window was way more difficult than the movies made it look. The sharp frame dug into my hips and my stomach as I struggled to haul myself over. Since the entire stupid thing was made of ice, I slid around quite a bit as I dragged myself through.

I was willing to bet
that
hadn’t been in the movies.

Finally, I slid all the way through, getting a knee on the windowsill so I could slowly bring myself around to perch awkwardly in the window. Outside, it was dazzlingly bright. Even though the sun was setting, it reflected off the snow that blanketed the courtyard, and the orange glow made me squint until my eyes adjusted. Thankfully, this side of the courtyard was empty.

A normal person would have been crunched up to avoid hitting their head on the top of the window. Because I was several inches taller than most normal people, the position gave me a horrible crick in my neck. But now that I was perched on the sill, the drop to the ground looked farther away than I’d thought. It wasn’t hundreds of feet down or anything, but the distance was at least the length of my body. Couldn’t you break your leg falling from that height? I probably could.

This was ridiculous. Running around flushing toilets and jumping off windowsills. Under my breath, I cursed Loki, the Viking twins, and Gunnar all in one go.

Just jump. Land with your knees bent. It will be fine.

The self-coaching wasn’t helping. I only had limited time though, so finally, I screwed my eyes shut and let myself tip over the ledge, my knees bent, my body tense. The impact was almost immediate, up through my feet and into my legs. I hissed at the pain and tumbled forward. On my hands and knees in the snow, I tried to collect myself.

My left ankle throbbed, but I didn’t have time to let it rest. After struggling to my feet, I limped for the nearest entrance, snow creaking with each footstep. I would have to get past the guards at the door. Pretend it was normal for me to go out walking in the empty courtyard in nothing but flats and a maxi dress.