From The Wreckage (25 page)

"Did you let me kiss you? Or did I imagine that?" he asks mildly.

She giggles. "I believe I did."

"So you know what that means then, right?" Jules searches for the right snappy comment, but West doesn’t give her time. "You're my girl, Jules. I told you if you weren't his, you'd be mine. I'm jumping on this train."

"Ha! The Jules Blacklin express?"

He chokes, “Well it sounded better in my head. I just meant, I let you pass me by once and it took me five years to get another chance. I'm not missing you this time. Can you deal with that?"

"I can more than deal with that. I endorse it and will happily buy you a round trip ticket."

"You're cute, but I don't need one."

"No?"

"Nope, I'm not getting off this time."

Jules bursts out laughing as his words automatically trigger a dirty picture in her head. Tanya's dirty mind has certainly rubbed off on her through the years.

"Dirty girl." West laughs with her.

"Blame Tanya."

"Shocker."

Her dad raps lightly on the door frame and pops his head through the open crack. He makes a silent hand gesture for her to hang up and go downstairs, and Jules reluctantly agrees.

"Hey West, my parents want me downstairs. Can I call you later?" she asks once her door is closed again.

"Anytime, Buffy."

"Okay, I'll call you soon."

There is a moment when she struggles with saying goodbye. She feels the words 'I love you' wanting to push from her tongue, and the thought confuses her.

"Jules?" She can’t find her voice to answer, but he goes on without it. "I meant what I said. I'm in this, as long as you're interested in being in it with me."

She lets his words settle in her heart and again bites back an expression of love.
It's
too soon
, she scolds herself. She thinks she’s crazy for possibly considering it.

"I was in it the moment you finally spoke to me. The moment you called me Buffy."

She hears him expel a long breath and can’t help but wonder if he is as confused as she is by these intense feelings creeping into every pore of her soul.

"Call me as soon as you can."

"’Kay, I will."

* * *

"That was the day I learned I could move on. That there was something, someone, who could make me smile and feel alive. You know, you watch towns and peoples’ lives destroyed on the news all the time, whether by natural disasters, accidents, house fires or things like that...and you think about it and feel bad for them, but you never realize just how much damage something like that does to a person."

Jules looks down at her hands in her lap and eyes the red scar running down the length of her forearm. "I'm trying to figure it out myself. But that day? That day was a happy one."

Twenty-Two

"Unfortunately for me, happy days don’t necessarily mean happy nights. I ended up with a repeat dream that night. Tanya chasing after me, West begging me to leave her, Katie screaming. I always wake up in a cold sweat; panting as if I'd run a marathon." She shakes her head despairingly at the camera.

"I began to expect them, and that made it a bit easier, but at first it was hard. That’s the reason why I was getting a late start the next day. I left Jason to play while I jumped in the shower, and of course you get naked and what happens?" she asks the camera with a nod of her head. "Yep, someone rings the doorbell."

* * *

"Jules! There's some guy I don't know at the door!" She hears Jason yelling up the stairs right as she steps out of the shower. "Jules!"

She rushes to her door with a towel wrapped tightly around her chest. "All right! Is it a salesperson? Tell them to go away...but don't open the door!" she warns.

She hears him talking through the door to whoever it is, and she grabs the first thing she can find to throw on quickly before her little brother ends up opening the door to a serial killer.

"He says he's a friend."

"Of course he is," Jules mumbles to herself as she struggles to pull on her yoga pants over half-wet legs.

"It's West!"

She almost falls on her face as she trips over a hamper full of clothes she needs to put away. Did he say
West
? Oh, my baby bunnies! Her heart leaps in excitement.

"I'm coming! Tell him to hold on," she yells again, and frantically grabs a comb to try and put some order to her wet, tangled hair.

"She just got out of the shower, hold on."

Jules blushes and throws the comb down. She doesn’t want to look as if she’s rushed to fix herself up for him. She hurries across her room and then slows as she rounds the corner to the stairs. Shaking her head, she bounces down the staircase, trying to act cool and collected, especially since she knows she’s visible through the window.

"I didn't open it, just like you said," says Jason the second her bare foot hits the landing of the foyer.

"Thanks, bud."

She lets Jason pull the door open to reveal West standing on her front porch with his signature grin. Jason swings open the glass door, smiling at him before she has a chance to speak.

"You like
Star Wars
?" he asks incredulously; staring at the vintage tee shirt West is wearing. "I like
Star Wars
, too."

"You do? I still have all of the Lego sets from when I was your age." West smiles and holds the glass door so he can stand there. She hears her little brother gasp and sees his eyes grow wide, and she prepares for his inevitable freak out. He is obsessed with
Star Wars
Legos, and can talk about the characters and building sets for hours if you let him.

"I collect them. I have almost all of them. I have this book with all of the sets, and I check them off when I get them. Jules thinks it’s silly. She says Legos are
stupid
."

"What?" she whines and West laughs; his smiling gaze moving from Jason to hers.

"She does, does she?"

"No, she doesn't," she interrupts. She pulls Jason from the door and shoos him off. "Get out of here."

Jason's excited voice echoes off the walls as he races up the stairs, calling behind him, "I'll go get my Legos!"

She watches him go with a laugh before turning to West with a raised brow. "See what you did? I'll be playing Legos for the rest of the day."

He says 'Sorry' in that 'sorry-not-sorry' way with a smirk to match. "Hi, by the way," he adds, and his voiced drops to a more normal tone.

"Hi." She shifts nervously; his nearness always making her nerves jumpy. Her hand moves to twist her hair when she remembers it’s a tangled, wet mess, and she blushes.

"Your brother said you just got out of the shower." He nods towards her wet head. "I should have called first. I can go."

She wants to shout
NO!,
but manages to keep her calm. "It's fine. Um, did you want to come in?"

She steps to the side to let West into her foyer, and his arm brushes against hers as she pushes the door closed behind him.

"I was driving by and thought maybe we could hang out."

"You were driving by? Where were you heading?" she questions; squinting her eyes and calling his bluff.

He doesn’t bother to lie and shrugs instead, before stuffing his hands into his pockets. She's come to recognize this as his nervous gesture.

"Truthfully?"

"The truth is always nice."

West steps closer to her and allows his scent to swirl around her as he speaks. "You didn't call me back last night," he admits. He pulls one hand from his pocket and touches a finger to a bead of water that has worked its way to the tip of her hair. Jules draws in a shaky breath as he inches closer. "I wanted to see you. Thought maybe we could go for a ride, get away to a little cornfield I know." His brows rise hopefully.

"I'm on duty today."

"On duty?"

"Yeah." She nods her head. Jason's voice fills the hallway above and she jumps back. They hear him before they see him. He is happily going on and on about something he is trying to build. "Kid brother duty."

"Oh." He grimaces, lowers his hand and thrusts it back into his pocket. "I really should have called first."

"No, I'm glad you didn't. Er, I mean, I'm glad you're here. You can hang if you don't mind a shadow."

"I'm not a shadow," Jason complains as he bumps into Jules on purpose and holds a spaceship in West's face.

"Oh man, wow. I don't have that one."

"You don't? Want to see my other sets? Can I show him, Jules, please?" he begs.

"Of course, as long as West doesn't mind."

"Do you want to see all my sets? I bet I have a lot you don't, since you're older and don't get them anymore."

"What do you mean I don't get them anymore?" West asks as Jason waves for him to follow upstairs.

Jules follows behind them and happily watches West from behind. His faded jeans fit him to perfection; not too loose to droop, but not too tight either. His blue vintage
Return of the Jedi
tee stretches across his back and molds itself to each of his muscles. The boy worked out…that much was glaringly evident.

She listens as Jason explains how
obviously
since West is older he doesn’t buy Legos anymore, so he can’t
possibly
have all of the new 'cool' sets.

"I'm going to change real quick, if you don't mind hanging with Jason for a minute."

Her brother continues on to his room and West stops. He flicks his eyes across her body and shakes his head. "You look great. Don't change on my account."

"C'mon West," Jason calls from his room impatiently, making West smile.

"Excuse me, I have some Legos to inspect."

Blushing from West's once-over, Jules enters her room and decides to stay in the cropped yoga pants and pink workout tee she had thrown on. No matter how great West thinks she looks, she decides she needs to take a moment to brush her hair up into a high ponytail and spray on a little body spray. Confident she looks a little more presentable, she leaves her room a few minutes later and is surprised by the sounds of a pretend battle coming from her brother's room.

She can make out the mock light saber and blaster sounds. She's watched the movies and played the video games enough to recognize the sounds. Her eyes mist over as she leans against the wall directly outside Jason's room and listens to their playing; West's deep voice blending with her younger brother’s higher sounds.

Jason laughs as West makes a strange "Argh" sound and goes silent. Then his voice begins to breathe deeply as he mimics Darth Vader. "You
will
join me..." he hisses and Jason giggles; a full-blown, cackling giggle that only Jason can make when he is thoroughly amused. Jules can’t stand it. She peeks around the door frame to spy on the boys. They’re sitting on the floor with little Lego men, pretend fighting.

She fights back tears when her brother looks up at her standing there. "Come play, Jules," he invites her with a grin.

West looks up too, and what Jules finds makes her heart flip. He doesn’t get embarrassed, or drop the guys because he’s too cool for playing. Instead he flashes her a smile, picks up another guy and sets him on a ship sitting on the box in front of him.

"How about a snack instead? Why don't you go make some popcorn?" Her voice is thick with emotion and West looks up from his men. His face softens as he looks at her, and she imagines he knows she is emotional. Jason looks a little sad as his eyes go from Jules to West and back.

West notices Jason's concerned face too, and immediately sets him at ease. "Yum! Using the force sure does make me hungry. I could really go for some popcorn." When Jason's face looks doubtful, he adds, "Besides, you know we have to follow the Princess’s orders, young Padawan."

"She's not a Princess." Jason laughs, but drops his Lego men and stands up anyway.

West also stands up and sets his men on the dresser, but his concerned eyes lock on Jules. "I see a Princess."

"Ewwww! I'll be downstairs."

Jules laughs at his 'icky' face as he leaves the room and calls behind him, "We'll be right behind you, bud. You can turn on cartoons if you want, or pick a movie."

She feels West's gaze on her back when she turns and watches Jason walk happily down the hall. A stray tear escapes down her cheek when she hears Jason hum the galactic song. "Thanks for that."

"For what?" he speaks, his voice directly behind her.

Her pulse leaps and she throws herself into his chest. "For playing with him. He's had a hard time getting over the tornado, and I haven't seen him truly laugh that way since it happened."

His arms go around her immediately. He rubs the back of her neck to soothe her as his other hand presses against the small of her back.