From Nanny To Wife (25 page)

Ryan turned his head and looked at Hope. "Zoe," answered. "In less than three weeks we go to court."

"I thought we agreed to try and not think about that," Hope said.

"I can't help it," Ryan sighed.

Hope smiled. "I can't help it either. I think about it, too."

"Have you checked on her lately?" Ryan asked.

"Yes," Hope said. "She's asleep."

"Good," Ryan mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

Hope stepped behind him and placed her hands on his shoulders. Gently she began to massage the tension away. Ryan's head fell forward and he groaned. "Does it feel good?" she asked.

"Yes," Ryan groaned. "Don't stop."

Hope laughed. "I won't." She leaned into the massage and was rewarded with another groan. "Tell me, husband of mine. Do you know what today is?"

"Tuesday."

"I know that," Hope said. "What happened a month ago on this day?"

"We were married," Ryan said after a brief silence.

"That's right," Hope said.

"Should I have gotten you a gift?" Ryan asked.

"No," Hope told him, "but there is something I want."

"What is it?"

Hope turned Ryan's chair until he faced her. She leaned down until her lips were inches from his. "You," she breathed. Her lips brushed lightly over his: their breath mingling.

Breaking the contact, Ryan looked into her eyes. "Are you sure? There is no going back once we cross that threshold. Things will change between us."

"I'm sure." Hope reached for his hands. "I'm ready for things to change between us, are you?"

"Yes." Ryan got to his feet.

Her heart beating wildly in her chest Hope led Ryan from his office and down the hallway. She paused uncertainly and glanced at him. "Your room or mine?"

"My room." Ryan opened the door and stepped aside.

Hope moved past him and into the room. It was her first time in Ryan's bedroom. She eyed her surroundings and took in the masculine décor. Her eyes came to rest on the king size bed and a tremor raced through her body as she thought about what would take place on that bed. She heard the door close and slowly turned around. The look in Ryan's eyes made her breath catch in her throat.

Ryan held out his hand. "Come here, Hope."

Suddenly nervous Hope took his hand and allowed him to pull her close.

"Are you afraid?" Ryan asked huskily, feeling her tremble.

Hope brought her hand up and touched his cheek. Her other hand came to rest on his bicep. "No," she whispered. "I am a little nervous though. It's been awhile."

"How long is awhile?" Ryan inquired.

"Seven years. I - I haven't been with anyone since Luke."

If Ryan was shocked by the news, he did not show it. "I will try to be gentle." He captured her mouth with his.

Hope wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, moaning when his tongue slipped between her parted lips and touched hers. Ending the kiss a minute later, Ryan ran his lips across Hope's jaw and down the column of her throat. Her head fell back and a sigh escaped her kiss-swollen lips. She felt Ryan's hands at her waist and was dimly aware of her silk robe sliding down her arms and pooling at her feet.

Just then, Ryan's cell phone rang.

"Don't answer it," Hope croaked. "Please, don't answer it."

"Nothing is going to tear me away from you, sweetheart," Ryan said. He took his phone out of his pocket, turned it off, and tossed it on the bedside table. "No more interruptions."

Hope grabbed Ryan's shirt and jerked it free from his pants. She quickly unbuttoned it and found he was wearing a white t-shirt underneath. "Why do you have to wear so many damn clothes?" she snapped.

Ryan chuckled. "Here, let me." He shrugged out of his dress shirt and pulled the t-shirt over his head.

The minute Hope's fingertips encountered his heated skin, she was lost. She ran her palms upward from his rock-hard belly to his chest, and he sucked in a breath. He worked the buttons on her pajama top free and parted the silky garment, letting it fall to the floor to join her robe. Ryan bent his head and touched his mouth to her collarbone. A surge of desire coursed through Hope and she gasped. His lips meeting hers, Ryan moved her away just enough to coax her toward the bed. The backs of her knees hit the mattress and buckled. He followed her down to lie beside her.

His fingers combing through her hair Ryan gazed at Hope. "I've dreamed of us like this."

Hope caressed his back. "I hope I can live up to your dream."

Ryan kissed her tenderly. "You all ready have."

In the early hours of the morning, Hope awoke. She was lying on her back, Ryan's arm was draped across her belly. Turning her head, she stared at his sleeping form. Images of their lovemaking filled her head and a smile lit up her face. She had been right he was an amazing lover. He was giving, gentle and considerate. Her needs and feelings had come first.

Hope closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, the scent of Ryan's cologne tickled her nose. She moved closer to him and tried to go back to sleep. She was dozing lightly when she felt his lips graze her ear and his arm tighten around her. Shivering, she opened her eyes.

"Are you cold?" Ryan asked quietly.

"No," Hope murmured. "My ears are sensitive."

Ryan nuzzled her ear. "Oh, really?"

"Y-yes," Hope stuttered.

"I will remember that," Ryan said.

Hope shook with laughter. "I'm sure you will."

"May I ask you something?" Ryan said.

"Of course," Hope muttered.

"How did you get the scar on your abdomen?"

His question brought back a flood of memories that Hope would just as soon not remember. "After my family died, I had a nervous breakdown. I-"

"You didn't try to kill yourself, did you?" Ryan asked.

"No," Hope said. "I wanted to, but I didn't have the guts to do it. I spent some time in a rehabilitation center. A patient there had suffered a nervous breakdown as well. Unlike me, she had the guts to try to kill herself. We shared a room and late one night she tried to slit her wrists. I don't know how she got her hands on a letter opener. I'm thinking a member of the staff had been careless and left one on their desk or something like that. Anyway, I tried to stop her from slitting her wrists. We got into a struggle and-"

"She stabbed you," Ryan cut in.

"Yes," Hope said. "I-I recall fighting the doctor when he tried to examine me. I wanted him to leave me alone."

"You could have bled to death," Ryan declared.

"It's what I wanted." Hope moved onto her side and buried her face against Ryan's shoulder. "No pity, please."

"I don't pity you," he whispered.

Hope kissed his shoulder. "Thank you."

"How long did you stay in the center?"

"Six months," Hope said. "When I left I stayed with Pam and her family for awhile. She helped me get a job and was there when I needed a shoulder to cry on. We've been friends since childhood. I felt lost when she left Houston to move here. It was like she abandoned me. I was alone again and then I met Luke. I think part of the reason I married him was because I was tired of being alone. Then he left me, too." She raised her head and looked at Ryan. "We have something in common, love. We've had people abandon us. I think we turned out all right, don't you?"

"I do."

"And I think-"

Ryan placed a finger against Hope's lips. "No more talking."

Hope saw the look in his eyes and her heart skipped a beat. "You have something in mind, don't you?"

Ryan swept Hope beneath him. "I do."

"Care to tell me what it is?"

"I have a better idea." Ryan lowered his head and nipped lightly at Hope's earlobe. "Why don't I show you?"

Hope's only response was a moan.

Chapter 28

Ryan's side of the bed was empty when Hope awoke. She rolled over and sat up, wincing at the soreness in her muscles. Rising from the bed, she slipped on her robe and grabbed her pajamas. Hope left the bedroom and made her way to her room. Once there, she gathered up a change of clothes and crossed the room to the bathroom. She turned on the shower, adjusted the temperature of the water: shed her robe and stepped in.

Hope walked into the kitchen, ten minutes later. Gordon was at the stove scrambling eggs in a large pan, Maggie and William were sitting at the table with Zoe, and Ryan was nowhere in sight. A feeling of dread came over her. Did he regret their night together? Was that why he was absent? Her heart in her throat she forced a smile and wished everyone a good morning.

"Good morning, dear," Maggie said.

"Good morning," William said without taking his eyes off his newspaper.

"Breakfast will be ready shortly," Gordon told Hope.

"That's fine." Hope bent down and kissed Zoe on the head. "Good morning, little one."

"Good morning," Zoe muttered.

"Where is Ryan?" Hope asked as she straightened up and moved toward the coffee pot.

"He had to leave early," Maggie answered. "I'm sure it wasn't anything serious. He seemed like he was in a good mood when he left."

"He was whistling," Gordon said. "I'd say his mood was better than good."

An overwhelming sense of relief swept through Hope. He was in a good mood so he could not have regretted their night together. Love surged within her and she found herself looking forward to being with him again that night.

"Hope, is something wrong?" Maggie asked. "You look like you're a million miles away."

"I'm fine." Hope filled a mug with coffee and carried it to the table. She sat down beside Zoe. "I have some errands to run. Does anyone need anything?"