From Doctor...to Daddy (13 page)

All of a sudden a cheer went up along the street. A buckboard pulled by two chestnut horses came rumbling toward the square. Bo was driving it himself.

“Smart image,” Dillon said to Erika. “A man who controls the reins himself.”

“Yes, it is. But I still don't know if a handsome young bachelor can counteract some of the old-fashioned thinking.”

“Old-fashioned thinking might not help us out of this economic crisis,” Dillon offered.

“That's true.”

The crowd cheered again, until Bo's campaign manager quieted them and introduced her candidate with a short summation of his qualifications. “I'll let Bo tell you what he intends to do for this town himself. Come on up here, Bo.”

Bo Clifton ran up the stairs with a vibrant energy that seemed to emanate from him. He was dressed in a Western-cut jacket, snap-button shirt, black jeans and belt with a silver buckle. His Stetson was tilted back, so his face and his very blue eyes were visible to everyone in the crowd.

“Hi, everyone,” he said with a friendly smile that could easily earn a few of the women's votes. “I've come here today to talk to you about what this town needs for the future. Economic development—more businesses to
locate their offices or plants here so we'll support more jobs. Better schools for our kids so they can become the engineers and scientists we need for the future. Better upkeep on roads so our cars don't break down every time we hit a pothole.”

He received laughs on that remark and Erika realized this candidate just might have a chance.

 

Dillon had agreed to meet Erika at the fairgrounds arena at seven that evening, before the backstage activities and the concert began. He was afraid she'd feel she had to go back to the penthouse with him afterward if he picked her up. He had no intention of pushing her. Yes, he wanted her in his bed. He might want even more. But part of him was stomping on the emotional brakes. Was it seeing Zane again? Remembering his friend had been best man at his wedding to Megan? Remembering Zane had been godfather to Toby? Remembering Zane had been at the hospital with him and Megan that awful week before Toby died?

Stirred-up memories sometimes carried the worst body blows.

Just what good had talking done? The guilt and regret were still there. The pain wasn't ever going to go away. Not in this lifetime. His feelings for Erika were in turmoil at best. His desire for her, on the other hand, was alive and well. That was a physical fact as he caught sight of her walking toward him. She was wearing a form-fitting, Western-cut coatdress with fringes on the hem that met high boots. Her hair was loose over her shoulders, the way he liked it, held in place by a beaded barrette over her right temple. She was absolutely stunning, and his whole body told him he knew it and couldn't deny it, no matter how hard he tried.

She stepped right up to him and he playfully flicked one of her silver earrings decorated with tiny horses. “You look stunning.”

“Thank you. You look quite handsome yourself.”

Without much thought tonight he'd dressed in a gray shirt with a black bolo tie and black jeans. “Do you have your backstage pass?” he asked, joking.

To his surprise she slipped her ID from out of her purse and then another one for him. “Now we're official,” she teased.

Settling his hands on her waist, he could feel her slender body under the dress. Oh, how he wanted to touch her. How he wanted to show her he cared about her. How he wanted to make love to her and find out what they were really all about. They were standing just inside the cavernous arena and no one else was around. Most of the people with backstage passes would have gone in one of the rear entrances. But Erika had wanted to get a view of the stage from the front, to make sure everything was perfect for the concert. Shortly, fans with tickets would start lining up at the door.

Dillon tugged her closer and was just about to bend and kiss her when the front door of the arena flew open.

Erika glanced over her shoulder and then broke into a smile. “Holly! When did you get back?”

Dillon didn't know the pretty young woman who was wearing a poncho over a flowing gauzy dress. He watched as she and Erika hugged a really long affectionate hug, almost like sisters.

Erika snatched Holly's hand and brought her over to Dillon. “Dillon, I'd like you to meet Holly Pritchett. Holly, this is Dillon Traub. He's been taking Dr. Cates's position at the resort.”

Holly shook Dillon's hand, looking a bit embarrassed. “I didn't mean to intrude.”

After a glance at Dillon, Erika said, “You're not. How did you know I was here?”

“I guessed you would be since you're coordinating everything. Dad got me a ticket for the concert and a pass to go backstage. He knew somebody who knew somebody. He knows
everybody,
” Holly said with a sigh. Then she added, “When I drove into the parking lot I saw you coming in here. And I, uh…wanted to talk to you. I know this is a bad time but I thought maybe we could set something up.”

“Sure we can. In fact—” again Erika glanced at Dillon and he wondered what that was about “—I'm having a birthday party for Emilia tomorrow evening. Come over about five. We can talk then.”

“That sounds great.” Holly looked toward the stage. “I can't wait for this concert, not to mention having my picture taken with Zane Gunther. I'd better hurry up and get backstage.” Then with a wave, she left Dillon and Erika in the arena and exited as quickly as she'd come in.

Dillon didn't know what to make of everything he'd just heard, so he waited.

“Holly and I met when her dad was buying real estate,” Erika explained. “He'd bring her along to the office. She asked a lot of questions about my job and we became friends. She just graduated from college in May. But she's been out of town the past couple of weeks, visiting a cousin.”

“I see,” Dillon said, still waiting. Erika fingered her ID card, then glanced up at him. “I guess you're wondering why I didn't mention Emilia's birthday party.”

“That's one of the things I'm wondering about.”

“It will be mostly women. Mom, a friend from work, Erin Castro—I don't know if you know her—a few women from the neighborhood.”

“I can see how you'd think I wouldn't fit in.”

“No, it wasn't that. I just didn't know if you'd want to come. I guess I didn't want to put you in the position of having to refuse.”

As Dillon studied her, he searched for the truth. Her worried brown eyes told him she was sincere. “Why did you think I'd refuse?”

“Because I didn't know if you'd want to be around Emilia and the other moms with their kids.”

“I was around Emilia at D.J.'s. I even helped you put her to bed Saturday night.”

“I know. But every time you're around her, or other children, I see this look in your eyes. Being around them hurts, doesn't it?”

He closed his eyes and blew out a breath. “Am I so easy to read?”

“No.” Then she corrected herself. “Well, maybe to anyone who cares about you.”

He caressed her cheek. “You care about me?”

“Yes, I do.”

“I'll be as honest about this as I can. Being around Emilia causes both happiness and hurt. They don't cancel each other out, they're both just there. I think I have to learn to live with that. But that doesn't mean I don't want to be around her. Now on the other hand, if you want to make it strictly a hen party, I understand.”

After she gave him a thoroughly assessing look, she asked, “Do you think Allaire and Shandie would come if I asked?”

“I can't speak for them, but go ahead and ask.”

“If D.J. and Dax would tag along, you wouldn't feel so lonely there.”

Dillon laughed. “The three musketeers and a brood of women. That might work.”

She punched his arm. “Seriously, I'd like to get to know Allaire and Shandie better.”

“Then ask them. And if you want me there, I'll come whether Dax and D.J. attend or not.”

This time when Dillon brought her close for a kiss, it was quick but thorough and almost made him forget she had a child who could bring him pain.

 

An hour and a half later Erika and Dillon sat in the front row of the arena, only a few feet from the stage. Erika had marveled at how many people Dillon had known when they'd gone backstage, considering he only visited Thunder Canyon now and then. When they'd come into the arena to take their seats, he'd waved to Melanie and Russ Chilton, then to Mitchell Cates and his wife, Liz, explaining who they were. It seemed as if there were many happily married couples in Thunder Canyon.

Backstage, Zane had waved to both of them as soon as he'd seen them. He'd even given her a hug, thanking her for all she'd done to make this concert a success, as if Thunder Canyon was doing
him
a favor. If only he knew how much revenue this concert had brought in for the resort and the town. Lodge rooms had filled up in the past two weeks with the publicity about Zane—his appearance had even gotten the resort mentioned on
Entertainment Tonight.
Hopefully, tourists would come in droves for skiing in the winter.

Erika's thoughts fled when Zane's band ran out onto
the stage. Dillon leaned close to her, his breath warm at her ear. “From the looks of it you've got a full house.”

“
Zane's
got a full house. He sold out in about ten minutes!”

When she turned her face toward Dillon, their lips almost met. The lights weren't altogether dimmed yet, and she should have felt self-conscious. But she didn't. She'd fallen for Dillon Traub.

She was in love with him.

That realization almost made her dizzy. She wasn't sure yet what that fact meant for her and Emilia. Did she have the courage to take their relationship to a deeper level? If she had sex with Dillon, what came next? What if it turned out that sex was all he wanted?

Her questions faded as Zane's band soon had everyone in the audience clapping in time to their rhythm. Erika found herself getting caught up in the excitement, settling into the beat, tapping her foot. Worry didn't seem to have any place here tonight. And when Zane Gunther appeared on the stage, his guitar slung over his chest, his Stetson high on his head, his smile broad across his face, Erika realized that for the length of this concert she could just relax and enjoy.

For the most part, Dillon was caught up in the music, too. She saw him make eye contact with Zane several times, as if they shared an inside joke. Clearly their childhood bond had lasted many years. Erika was sorry she had lost contact with grade school and high school friends. And even with those she hadn't…her pregnancy had changed everything. Her relationship with Holly had stayed steadfast, though. Her friendship with Erin Castro seemed to be deepening. Maybe now she knew the true value of friendship. Good friends wouldn't judge her. They'd support her. She suddenly thought of Allaire and
Shandie and the possibility of forging a closer relationship with them. That thought made her smile.

In between numbers, Zane spoke to the audience, making people laugh and call out their favorite songs. He definitely had that country charm. He gave his all when he sang, speeding up the tempo with an almost bluegrasslike tune, then slowing it down with one of his well-known ballads.

During one of the ballads, Dillon leaned close and took her hand. He said, “We'll have to try dancing to one of Zane's songs sometime.”

Dancing with Dillon. She remembered the first time, recalling vividly how she'd felt in his arms. When he looked at her under the bright lights of the stage, she could see he was remembering, too. Her body heated from the smoldering desire in his eyes. She had to make a decision about tonight. Soon.

Zane's show lasted an hour and forty-five minutes. Her hands were sore from clapping. Her ears were ringing from Dillon's whistles. He knew how to have fun and she loved seeing this side of him.

All too soon Zane pulled his stool over to the mike and sat down, positioning his guitar on his knee. “This will be the last one, folks.”

He grinned at the protests from the audience. “Well,” he drawled, “I could be convinced to do an encore. But now I want to sing you a song that will be out on my new CD. You get a preview. This is dedicated to a buddy of mine who I think needs a little nudge in the right direction.” His gaze met Dillon's for an instant, but Erika caught it.

Zane told the audience, “This song's title is ‘Movin' On.'”

The band strummed into the melody and Zane started to sing.

Erika felt Dillon go perfectly quiet beside her.

The audience was pin-drop still as Zane's voice filled the space. He spoke about a man who followed a path that went in the wrong direction. He sang about a kick in the gut, a turn in the road, a new highway to explore. She felt Dillon's arm tense as his friend moved into the refrain:
Movin' on from the past. Movin' on from then till now. Movin' on from the heartache into the sunshine.

Erika glanced at Dillon, needing to know what he was thinking as Zane sang another verse and repeated the refrain. She wanted to know if Zane's words were touching him the same way they were touching her.

The song ended.

The lights went dim.

When they came back up again, Zane was no longer on the stage.

Erika leaned close to the man she loved. “Dillon?”

When he looked at her, her heart skipped a beat. There was so much turmoil on his face that tears came to her eyes.

Suddenly everyone was clapping, trying to convince Zane to return to the stage. The audience rose to their feet, whooping and hollering.

Dillon stood, too. But he stood slowly, like a man who was torn between the past and the present.

Would he still want her to come to his suite tonight?

D
illon walked with Erika through the lobby of the arena and outside into the night air. He should be able to breathe better out here. But he couldn't. The air around him still felt stifling.

He understood Zane had thought he was doing him a favor…thought he was supporting him…thought he was helping him by writing that song. It was a tribute to their friendship as much as anything else, and Dillon wished he could just see it that way. But the song's refrain played in his mind and he kept getting stuck on the pain and the heartache. Pictures played, one after the other, of his wedding day, Megan's pregnancy, Toby's birth. He'd held Toby minutes after he was born and he should have kept holding him. But he'd let him go because medicine had called.

Sure, he'd seen his son walk and smile. He'd seen him roll over and sit up all by himself. But he hadn't been
there for the firsts. He'd been at early-morning meetings, pharmaceutical reps' lunches, late patient appointments. But there
were
no excuses now.

Erika turned to him then and he saw the conflict in her eyes. She was trying to decide whether she should stay with him tonight or not. They really were a pair. He certainly shouldn't be encouraging
her
when he was stuck in the past. Yes, he wanted her. Most nights all he could think about was their arms entwined, their legs tangled, their bodies joined.

But at what cost? Even if he moved to Montana, that didn't mean his past wouldn't shadow him.

“Zane's song upset you, didn't it?” Erika asked as they stood behind the door at the edge of the crowd.

“It shouldn't have,” he said, not really wanting to admit it. “That song said what I already know. I
do
have to move on.”

“You can't move on if you don't forgive yourself,” she said quietly again, as if she thought he needed to hear it over and over.

“If that's what it takes,” he muttered, “it's never going to happen.”

She looked at him carefully. “You don't want me to come to your suite tonight, do you, Dillon?”

He studied the night sky…the shining stars…the blackness behind them. “It's not that simple. I
do
want you to come to my suite. But I have a question for you. What if tonight's all we have? Can you accept that?”

She looked away from him.

“It's okay, Erika. I understand why you can't just live in the moment. You have a daughter to think of.”

When she met his gaze again, he felt their connection, the bond that had been developing. He also felt the heat of desire between the two of them that never seemed to
abate. This wasn't the place to have this discussion, yet maybe this was better than somewhere private. Somewhere private they might give in to the desire and forget the logic. Out here they were thinking about the consequences, and that was a good thing. Maybe later, when he was in his bed alone, he'd convince himself of that.

Erika's cell phone sounded from within her purse. She looked torn.

He felt torn. “Go ahead and take it.”

She dipped her hand into her purse and pulled out her phone. “It's Grant,” she murmured, and said hello.

Dillon heard her side of the conversation and he guessed what it was about. When she closed her phone she said, “I have to meet Grant inside with the manager of the arena. We have a few loose ends to tie up. I was really hoping…hoping we could talk more.”

Talking was really the last thing Dillon wanted to do. “I'll go back to the resort. After you're finished with Grant—I'll understand if you just want to go home to Emilia.”

Erika's eyes were huge and shiny and he didn't want to prolong this for either of them.

Suddenly she stepped close to him, kissed him lightly on the lips, then turned and went back inside.

He took one look at the yawning darkness inside the lobby. She disappeared into it. Then he strode to his car, trying not to feel anything.

Traffic was heavy for Thunder Canyon, with everyone leaving the arena parking lot at the same time. Dillon found a back way to the resort and followed the line of locals that knew it, too. At the lodge he saw folks heading toward resort restaurants to enjoy after-concert suppers. He wasn't hungry. All he could think about was the conflicted look in Erika's eyes.

Tonight was supposed to have been different from all the nights he'd spent alone since his divorce. Different from the emptiness ever since he'd lost Toby. Dillon supposed a crowded elevator was better than one only holding three or four people who wanted to talk. He got lost in the back, heard guests' conversations about how great Zane Gunther's concert had been. Deep down he agreed, and thought Zane's new CD was going to be a hit.

Movin' on from the past. Movin' on from then till now. Movin' on from the heartache into the sunshine.

Finally he was in the elevator alone. He inserted the key for the penthouse floor and the elevator went up another level. He got out, went to his suite and closed the door behind him. Why hadn't he just acted as if the song hadn't affected him? Why hadn't he just put his arm around Erika and kissed her?

Because that wouldn't have been honest.

In his bedroom he stripped off his clothes, stepped into a pair of sleeping shorts and didn't bother with a shirt.

His cell phone chimed, and seeing Zane's number in the caller ID, he answered it. Zane asked, “What did you think?”

“I think you turned me inside out.”

There was a pause. “I didn't mean to do that. I meant to give you a kick in the butt. And if you let everything simmer down, it might just be the kick you need.”

“If we weren't such good friends, I might boycott your CD.”

Zane laughed. “Yeah, well, maybe in the next lifetime, because we
are
good friends.”

“Are you back on the road?”

“Yes, indeed. The bus is rollin' along. We're headed
to Denver. You know how it is, one concert after another.”

“But you wouldn't have it any other way.”

“No, I wouldn't. The boys are callin' to me. I'd better go see what they want.”

“Take care, Zane.”

“You, too. I'll see you when I see you.”

Dillon set his phone on the charger on the dresser. He was still staring at the phone, remembering the evening, remembering Zane's song when he heard a noise at his door. He went into the living room and heard the knocking. Dr. Babchek, maybe? No, he would have simply called if something was wrong.

Dillon swung the door open and saw Erika. Nothing could have surprised him more. “I didn't expect to see you again tonight.”

Her gaze fell to his shoulders, to the hair down his chest, to the waistband of his shorts. “I know, but—I had to come. Are you going to invite me in?”

He wanted to—but then he stopped himself from hoping. What if she'd just come here to talk?

When he stepped away from the door, Erika came into the room. He wanted to take her into his arms and haul her into bed. “Why did you come?” he asked, his voice a bit hoarse.

“Because I thought you might…need me.”

He needed her, all right. He was getting hotter by the minute with that need.

“Kiss me, Dillon,” she murmured.

She only had to say it once.

He took her into his arms and kissed her with all the turmoil and confusion and desire that had been building in him all evening. The intensity of it didn't make her back off. Instead, she wound her arms tighter
around his neck, responded to every thrust of his tongue, pressed against him with the same hunger he felt. A sudden urgency to feel skin on skin seemed to drive them both. He lifted her into his arms and carried her into his bedroom.

When he set her beside the bed, he reached for the buttons on her dress as she tucked her hands beneath the waistband of his shorts. Her tiny gold buttons eluded his fingers and he swore. She helped him with them, and in no time at all, her clothes were on the floor next to his shorts. He covered her breasts with his hands, reverently admiring her.

She moaned and then asked in a low voice, “Do you have condoms?”

“A whole box of them,” he replied with a smile as his hands slipped lower, almost circled her small waist and then settled on her hips. He kissed her again, pressing her to him so she'd understand the rawness of his hunger and the depth of his need. When she wove her fingers into his hair, she was so tight against him he could feel the beating of her heart.

Seconds later they were in his big bed, touching and caressing and breathing hard. They had known only a hint of intimacy in the deserted cabin. Now they were discovering the real thing. He caressed her body everywhere, wanting to know it as intimately as his own. She seemed to want to do the same. The stroke of her hands brought him so much sensual pleasure he didn't know how long he could hold on. She splayed her hands across his chest, slid them around him to his back, stroked and teased and tempted as he was doing to her.

Knowing they were both near their limit, Dillon reached for the box of condoms, found one and let her roll it on. When he slid his fingers between her thighs,
she opened to him, and at the same time, took him in her hands. He groaned as she stroked him.

He whispered into her neck, “I won't be able to last if you keep that up.”

“Maybe I don't want you to last. I need you, Dillon, just as much as you need me.”

He leaned away from her and saw that basic truth in her eyes. There seemed to be complete honesty between them, and he'd never felt connected to a woman like this in his entire life.

“I'm ready, Dillon. I want you now.”

He rose above her, not thinking or analyzing or debating with himself about anything. Pleasure was what they both sought. If it was an escape, so be it. If it was more, he'd deal with that tomorrow.

When he entered her, he sunk in with the craziest sensation that he was coming home. His thrusts had her gripping his shoulders. Their skin glistened from the excitement they aroused in each other. He couldn't hold back the hunger he needed to be fulfilled.

Erika urged him on with her moans, her sighs, her gasps of pleasure. They weren't two people any longer. They were one—on the same journey, headed for the same mountaintop. He watched Erika, saw the glistening haze of desire in her eyes, saw her cheeks flush, felt her hands hold him tight as if she never wanted to let go. Their bodies rocked together, seeking the mutual explosion. When it came, they not only found the mountaintop…they found each other.

 

When Erika awakened, the sun wasn't up yet. Last night she and Dillon had shared something so magnificent she knew she'd never forget their lovemaking. But now she had to go back to her house because Emilia was
waiting. She had responsibilities and a daughter to think of. And although she knew she was in love with Dillon Traub, she also knew their time together was running out. Their bodies spooned together, his arm around her waist. She felt protected and safe in his arms—she felt loved. But the feeling couldn't last, could it? Had last night been an escape for him away from his past? Or was she really important to him?

She began to slip from his arms but his grip held her in place. “Where are you going?”

“I have to go home.”

“It's early.”

“I don't want Emilia to wake up without me and worry.”

“She's two.”

“She'll know I'm not there and wonder why, even at two.”

Dillon took his arm away and let Erika scoot on her back so they could look at each other.

“Do you have regrets about last night?” he asked, maybe expecting her to.

Erika shook her head. “No. Do you?”

“No. But last night was intense in a lot of ways and I want to know what you're thinking.”

She was thinking she was absolutely, wonderfully in love with him. But she couldn't tell him that. She couldn't take that final risk. Not without knowing what his plans were. Not without knowing if they had a future.

“What now?” she whispered, feeling much too vulnerable. “I saw all the feelings rise up in you when you heard Zane's song. You were thinking about your wife and Toby and the life you once had. You were thinking about a son you'd never see again.”

“Don't.” His voice was strained…almost harsh.

“That's the problem, Dillon. You haven't wanted to think about it. But you have to if we're going to have anything. I have a daughter. If this is just an affair and we'll have another week of pleasure before you leave, so be it. Last night that's what I accepted. But if on the other hand we want to somehow be part of each other's lives, I have to wonder how Emilia will fit in. Can you look at her with joy? Or can you only look at her remembering Toby and feel regret?”

When Dillon was silent, that was an answer in itself. She moved away from him and sat up.

“Everything just doesn't fall into place because last night was great!” he concluded.

“No, I suppose not,” she said with a sigh, wishing it had fallen into place for him as it had for her. Loving a man wasn't something she'd thought she'd ever let herself do again.

The quiet emptiness of the suite seemed to surround them as she slid her legs over the side of the bed.

Dillon hiked himself up and clasped her arm. “Erika, do you still want me to come to Emilia's birthday party later?”

“If you want to be there.”

“I do.”

“Will Dr. Babchek still cover for you?”

“I don't think he'll mind covering another few hours for me. He told me he's really enjoying room service, especially when he doesn't have to pay the bill.”

“I hope Allaire and Shandie, Dax and D.J. don't mind being cramped. My place isn't really big.”

“You forget they're just everyday people.”

“I guess I do,” she admitted. Dillon sat beside her on the edge of the bed, ran his hand through her hair and
turned her face toward his. Then he kissed her, trying to make the rest of the world go away.