Friends With More Benefits (14 page)

"Sure."

"Oprah selected it for her book club and sure he
sold some books, but when Oprah yelled at him on live television,
then he really sold some books—a lot of fucking books."

"So you're saying I should piss Oprah off?"

"Could you? Do you have any idea how to pull it
off? Maybe we could—"

"Albert, shut the fuck up."

"All right," Alert said softly, and then he
added, "Trust me on this one."

Jillian exhaled deeply. "Okay, but what do I
tell Debra and Dan?"

"I'll take care of them. And if anyone asks for
an interview, you should give it. I'll e-mail you a list of talking
points."

"Jim said to not talk to anyone about this."

"I'll clear it with them and get back to
you."

"Wait, you have them contact me directly if they
want me to give interviews. I'm not sure this trust we once had has
been repaired quite yet."

"Fair enough. Hey, the book has been selling
great so far."

"I know, but all that money might be going to
Natalie."

"It won't."

"You know I really don't need this shit. I'm
getting married in less than a week."

Albert said, "Oh my God, I almost forgot about
the wedding."

"Will I see you there?"

"I wouldn’t miss it. Now just try to relax."

"How can I?"

"Have a drink or two."

"Okay," she replied then put down the phone and
chugged her martini.

Albert Blair sat in his office thinking. He
picked up Jillian's wedding invitation from the desk and rubbed his
chin. He glanced down at the background check report for Natalie
Brookhart and smiled. He picked up the phone and dialed a
number.

"Tim, are you available this weekend? St. Barts.
Great! I'll messenger over the ticket." He hung up the phone and
then screamed, "Gladys get in here."

Five seconds later his assistant rushed through
the door with a pen and pad ready. Albert said, "I need two
round-trip plane tickets from New York to St. Barts leaving this
Saturday and returning Monday. Put one in the name Tim Dale and the
other is for Natalie Brookhart. Wait—put two in Natalie's name and
make them first class. She might want to take a friend. And book a
hotel for each of them Saturday and Sunday nights at the same hotel
I'm staying in." Gladys wrote it all down, and then he continued,
"I need all that ASAP. Messenger Tim's over to him, but I need
Natalie's hand delivered today. Call Jason."

Gladys stood there waiting for more
instructions. He glared at her. "Don't just stand there." She
rushed toward the door until he said, "Wait. Have you seen my
speedboat catalog anywhere?"

She turned back to him and shrugged. He groaned
as he dismissed her with the wave of his hand.

In all the excitement with Jillian and the
lawsuit, Brian had forgotten that he had agreed to accompany
Victoria to her stylist. She wanted to give him the gift of a brand
new hairstyle for the wedding. He had planned on working a half day
and had it marked on his calendar at work, but now that there was
no work, no calendar, and no pop up reminder, there was nothing to
remind him. When Victoria arrived he was out by the pool relaxing.
It only took a quick glare from her before he remembered. He rushed
inside, quickly got dressed, and followed her out to her car. He
was looking forward to a new haircut, but he had no idea of the
location of all the hair she intended to be cut.

As they walked to the spa he said, "I appreciate
you doing this. I could use a slightly new look for the wedding,
and my hair is just too long."

"That's what I heard," she said. He gave her an
odd look, and then she added, "I think you'll like this place. They
are very professional and have a lot of great ideas."

"Cool."

After a wash, cut, blow-dry, and style, Brian
sat in the chair admiring his new haircut with Victoria looking on
pleased. He shook his head with a smile. "I hope I can fix it this
way for the wedding."

The stylist said, "Just use some of that gel and
comb it out like I showed you. You should be fine."

"Thank you so much."

A thin, lithe, dark-skinned, feminine-looking
man walked out from the back of the store. He glanced at Victoria
and said in a Spanish accent, "Victoria I am ready for you."

She smiled and then said to Brian, "I have
another surprise."

He glanced to her hesitantly. "What's this, I
thought—"

"Just follow me," she interrupted.

Victoria headed toward the back of the store.
Brian followed her down a hall and into a small room. Rafael stood
next to a padded table wearing a white lab coat. He smiled brightly
to them both.

"Victoria, I haven't seen you around in a long
time."

"No reason to come in. I'm not dating all that
much anymore."

"That should never stop you," he chuckled.

Rafael stepped toward Brian and smiled. He
grabbed his hand and shook it gently. "So this is your friend."

Brian cleared his throat and said in a mock deep
voice, "Brian. I'm Brian." He glanced down to his hand, which
Rafael still had a hold of. Brian pulled it back slowly.

"Nice to meet you, Brian," Rafael said as he
looked him over from head to toe. He added, "I love your new
hairstyle. Now let me work my magic on the rest of your hair. Your
woman is going to love it."

Brian looked at Victoria in shock. "What exactly
is this?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but Rafael asked,
"You want the standard male Brazilian not the Hollywood?"

She nodded her head. "Yes, the Brazilian."

"The what? What is that?" Brian asked
horrified.

Rafael said, "A standard male Brazilian includes
a full wax hair removal from the frontal pubic area, the shaft,
scrotum, and anal area. It's your choice whether we leave a landing
strip above the shaft, or we could take it all off."

Brian listened dumbfounded. Victoria glanced at
Brian and then to Rafael. "I'm not sure about the landing strip.
What are most guys doing these days?"

"Uh, it's about half who choose the strip and
half who go completely bare. I kind of like the strip. That way you
don't look like a little boy." Rafael slipped on a pair of latex
gloves as he glanced at Brian, "So what do you think?"

"About what?"

"The landing strip."

"Um, uh, Victoria, can I talk to you for a
second?"

Rafael exhaled deeply. "Victoria, I have another
appointment in twenty minutes, so…"

She gave him an apologetic look. "We'll just be
a second."

Brian walked out of the room and held the door
for Victoria. She went into the hall, he gave Rafael a weak smile,
slipped out, and closed the door.

Brian whispered angrily, "What the hell is
this?"

"He's a genius with pubic hair."

Brian shook his head violently. "I'm not letting
some guy wax my ass hole."

"So you only want the Hollywood then?"

Brian looked at her astonished with his mouth
just about as wide open as it could get, but she plowed ahead
without noticing, "You see I think that's a mistake with—"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he
interrupted.

"We spoke about your balls a few months
ago."

"Yeah, and I told you I'd shave them."

"And did you?" she asked skeptically.

"Yeah," he said sheepishly.

"Let me see."

He exhaled deeply. "Okay, I tried to once, but I
got scared having that razor so close to my sensitive areas
and—"

She nodded. "I figured. Waxing involves no
blades of any kind."

"Yeah, but it sounds really painful. I mean
ripping the hairs off your balls seems like it would kinda
hurt."

"Oh, don't be a baby. It hurts for like a
second."

Brian looked at her, shaking his head and
grimacing. "I don’t know."

"You want more ball attention don't you?"

"Well, yes."

"And your ass…"

"What about my ass?" he asked smugly.

"You want more attention there, too?"

"It gets plenty of attention already."

She exhaled and then shook her head. "I heard
about the sex the night of your birthday party."

"What about it? It was freaking amazing. Jillian
did things to me she'd never done before."

"Are you sure?"

Brian moved in close and whispered, "I'm sure.
She actually put her tongue on my…you know and was licking it and
everything."

"I hate to be the one to tell you this, but that
wasn't her tongue." Brian narrowed his eyes, and she continued,
"That was a moistened finger."

His jaw dropped. "You're kidding, right?" She
shook her head no and he said, "No way." He slumped against the
wall.

"She told me herself. She wanted to give you the
full treatment, but when she saw the condition of the jungle, she
was scared off."

Brian looked her in the eye.
"
The jungle
?"

Victoria gave him a sincere look. "Her
words."

"I don't believe it."

Rafael opened the door and gave them a tired
look. Victoria said, "Just one more minute." Rafael sighed and
closed the door.

"Jillian really wanted to please you that way,
but although I haven't seen you back there personally, I've got to
imagine it's a disaster." He glared at her insulted. She continued,
"And as I've said before, no woman wants to lick hairy balls, and
she certainly doesn’t want to go near a hairy ass."

Brian shook his head then exhaled deeply. "I
don’t know."

"How amazing did it feel when she was fake
licking you back there?"

"It was…just mind blowing."

Victoria gently touched his forearm as she
began, "Imagine what it would be like for Jillian to lick it for
real and slowly move back and forth between your smooth, hair-free
balls, then along your perineum…" As she described it she traced a
finger up and down his forearm. "…and then back to the millions of
supersensitive nerve endings of your anus."

He watched as she touched him. His mouth was
wide open and his pants were starting to feel awfully tight, as he
got lost in the fantasy. He gave her a hopeful look and then she
added, "Just let him take a look. Let him give you his opinion.
That all."

He frowned as he asked, "She really told you I'm
too hairy?"

Victoria gave him a sympathetic nod.

Brian looked to the ceiling then put on a weak
smile. "Okay."

She grinned. "Great." She opened the door for
him, and he slowly walked in with her smiling widely behind
him.

Rafael clapped his hands. "Okay, I've got
fifteen minutes, so depending on what were working with here, we
might need to reschedule. I'm pretty booked up the rest of the
week."

Victoria said, "Oh please fit him in today. He
leaves for his wedding in a few days, and he needs time to
heal."

"
Heal
?" Brian asked
horrified.

"Let's see what we've got." Rafael said. They
both stared at Brian waiting.

"I should just drop my pants?"

"That would help." Rafael said in a weary
voice.

Brian felt his penis and realized it was still a
little hard from Victoria's erotic sales pitch. He figured that
might be actually be a good thing, since he'd never been much of a
shower. He smiled and then slipped his pants and underwear
down.

"Hello," Rafael said impressed. Victoria smiled
as she checked him out.

"You're a little worked up from the whole ass
licking thing I told you about, aren’t you?"

Brian nodded reluctantly with his lips curled.
Rafael slipped down to his knees lifted Brian's penis up then
looked at his balls. He said, "Uh, huh." Then he lifted his balls
and craned his neck down to look under them. "Oh, I see. You
definitely need my help. No one is licking those and enjoying it."
Brian glared at him and then glanced at Victoria as she gave him a
sympathetic shrug.

Rafael stood as he looked at the clock. "Please
remove your shoes, pants, and underwear. Then get up on the
table."

Brian looked at them hesitantly. Rafael sighed
and then Victoria motioned for him to hurry up. Brian pulled his
shoes off and stepped out of his pants. Rafael said, "He does have
a good looking penis though."

Victoria smiled like a proud parent. "I know.
Doesn't he? I've actually held it…more than once."

Rafael simply said, "Huh."

Brian climbed up on the table on all fours, but
kept his legs together and his ass cheeks closed up tight. Rafael
studied his body closely. "The boys I know would love him. He has a
fantastic body."

Victoria nodded, and Rafael moved behind Brian
and spread his ass cheeks apart. He grimaced when he got a look at
the dark thick mat of hair between them. "Oh, the boys would not
like this at all."

Victoria moved in for a look and then recoiled
while making a sour face. "It's worse than I thought."

Brian turned back to look at them. "What's
wrong?"

Rafael commanded, "Spread your legs."

Brian frowned and spread his legs, opening up
everything to Victoria and Rafael as they stood behind him studying
his most private of areas. He glanced back once more to them and
saw their judgmental, frowning faces. He shook his head as he
whispered to himself, "I can't fucking believe I have two people
staring into my slightly hairy ass."

Rafael gave her a determined look as he said, "I
can do this, but I'm going to need to trim it first and then wax
all of it. Maybe twice."

Victoria nodded. "Can you do it now?"

"I'll fit him in. It's a shame when you see a
beautiful penis such as this, hidden by so much hair."

"You should see his brother." She motioned to
Brian as she continued, "Picture this body, but with a bigger
penis…I mean much bigger."