Friend-Zoned (3 page)

This Tina woman closes her
eyes and cringes when I read the note aloud; it’s so cute I have to
bite my lip to stop myself from laughing.
She straightens up, looks me in the eye and says matter-of-factly,
“It’s just that every day you come outside for your cigarette break
which, by the way, smoking kills.” She scrunches her nose, and says
quietly, “But at least it didn’t stunt your growth.” She looks
thoughtful, places her fingers to her chin and tilts her head
slightly. Her head straightens suddenly as if she just remembered
she wasn’t done and she continues, “And I see you out there every
day but you’re never happy. And you never smile. Like ever. And I
just wanted to,
anonymously
, make your day a bit
better and make you smile because, frankly, watching you is a bit
depressing. And I know it’s none of my business and you have the
right to be as broody as you damn well please, but I
like
when people smile
and I like making people smile!” She finishes a little louder than
she needs to be. I have to stop myself from running my hands down
my face.
Yeah, too
cute.
I feel a frown form.
I don’t do cute. She has a great ass that I would definitely like
in my bed but I don’t do
cute
.
Cute girls wanna kiss. I don’t do that shit. Kissing means special
things like relationships and girlfriends. And I don’t have
relationships or girlfriends. I have fuck buddies. Because I fuck.
Often. I most definitely
don’t
make love. I might not screw hard all the time
but even slow screwing is just screwing.
I don’t have the time or the inclination to make the effort to keep
a girlfriend.
One day, when I’m not knee deep in nightclub bullshit, I’ll find a
nice girl and settle down. I’ll make sure that girl will be worth
it. But that time is not now.
Tina is looking at my eyes and asks, “What color are your
eyes?”
Uh oh, she’s making goo-goo
eyes at me. Crap, cut her loose and let her be on her
way.
***

Nik shifts in his chair
almost nervously as he replies, “Uh, I don’t really know. Like a
gold-ish brown or somethin’.”
I push the eye color thing. I tell him, “I’ve never seen eyes that
color. It’s like warm honey.”
He looks away and swallows hard before he says, “Uh, yeah, I
guess.”
Oh my, he
is
nervous.
As he looks toward the bookcase in the corner and I spy ink
travelling up the back of his neck past the back of his ear. It’s
black, thick, and looks tribal.
Yummy.
He won’t look me in the eye now and I wonder what I said to get a
reaction like the one he’s giving me.
I’m confused.
Frowning, I take a look around his office while I try to figure him
out. It’s nice. The walls are a pale sandy color. His desk is
wooden and looks heavy. This desk was not bought at Ikea. This was
the type of desk you bought at an antique store and had
re-finished. It’s clearly mahogany (La dee dah!). And I notice the
whole room is neat; not a stray paper in sight. I can’t even see my
desk in Safira’s store room! It’s covered in papers, stock, and
trash.
Mental note; find your
desk.
There are two framed photos on
the mahogany bookshelf in the corner of the office.
One is of a little girl who is so beautiful, my heart aches. Her
smile is pure sunshine and she is missing one of her front teeth.
She has Nik’s eyes. The frame is bright pink with purple glittery
butterflies around it.
Aww,
cute.
The other frame is exquisite.
It is thick silver with pieces of beige mother of pearl swirling
through it. The photo is an old one, a family portrait it looks
like. A tall, dark haired, middle aged man stands with his arms
around a short but beautiful dark haired, dark eyed woman. The
woman is very much pregnant. The man looks like Nik but he is pale
skinned where Nik is much darker. Most importantly are the man’s
eyes. They are Nik’s eyes. I’m going to take a stab and say these
are Nik’s parents.
Two small girls flank the couple, hugging them both around the
legs. Hugging the two girls are two young men. Looking closer at
this picture I can see Max’s cheeky dimpled smile and it confirms
my earlier suspicions that Nik and Max are brothers. Both girls
have their mother’s eyes; both boys have their father’s eyes. All
the children got their mother’s beautiful skin tone. They are all
laughing and smiling.
Wow, I love
this photo.
Everyone in this picture
is so happy. Like,
blissfully
happy. I think back to Nik and wonder what
happened to his happiness.
I take another look around but there is nothing else to note except
a filing cabinet in the opposite corner of the room close to the
door.
No more photos, nothing at all personal, nothing to suggest he has
a girlfriend or wife.
Then it clicks.
His reaction to my stupid questions. And I almost burst out
laughing but manage to stop it and make a choked sound
instead.
He thinks I’m coming onto
him!
I mean, I can’t blame him for
thinking that because he
is
beauty defined. And now that I’ve spent some time
with him I realize I had nothing to be nervous about. He seems like
a nice, well-mannered guy but still a little too broody for my
liking.
An idea enters my brain and before I can think about it and verbal
diarrhea spews forth.
***
Tina spends a good few minutes looking around my office. Her eyes
land on the family portrait which was taken a few months before Dad
died.
I realize she’s looking for photos of a wife or
girlfriend.
Here we go. She’s gonna make her move. I should’ve left the damn
note thing alone.
Tina makes a choked noise and I look up to find her trying to hold
back a smile.
Cut her loose and no
one gets hurt. She’s too cute.
She is
too cute. Too cute to fuck and leave, she ain’t that type. I can
tell. I spend a lot of time with girls like that and they normally
have the same interests as me.
Sex without strings.
My body tenses.
How do I turn her down
without sounding like an asshole?
Girls like Tina hurt easy. That’s why I don’t deal with girls
like this.
She’s smiling a small smile and waiting for me to say something. I
don’t know what to say to her, she’s nervous as it is and doesn’t
need me going all asshole on her.
I start tapping my pen on the desk. I’m thinking so hard I’m sure
she can see my brain moving around through my skull!
I haven’t noticed she started to speak.
“So we can be friends, right?”
Wait,
what?
I stare at her, a frown forming
at my mouth.
Did I..? Did I just get
Friend-zoned?
I look over again to
see Tina nodding vigorously and smiling
brightly.
Wow, this has never happened to me before. Girls usually come
to the club knowing I got money; they ask me out or ask me to their
place for a “drink”, which one hundred percent of the time ends up
meaning sex.
Tina takes my silence as her cue to speak again. “I mean we work
right across the street from each other. We can do lunch sometimes
and, Ooh,” she widens her eyes almost comically, “we can get
together for coffee at Winnie’s!”
She looks so excited at the prospect of us being friends, she’s
practically bouncing up and down in her seat.
You don’t need another friend. Definitely not a
friend that’s a girl; too complicated. Cut her loose, man. You
don’t need this shit.
“Uh...”
Just do it! Cut her
loose. This is a mistake
.
I look into her sweet face and the words are out of my mouth before
I realize.
“Yeah, sure. We can be friends”
What.
The. Fuck?
Where the hell did that
come from?
Before I can think about what just happened, Tina looks at me and
smiles big. Her lips are a pale pink, not lipstick or gloss, but
naturally. Her teeth are white and perfect. I tell myself to stop
staring at her damn lips. So I focus on her eyes. Her eyes are
slightly crinkled at the corners. Goddamn, even her eyes are
smiling.
Great. Just great, you
moron.
Tina stands abruptly, pushing
the chair out so hard it almost flies backwards onto the floor. She
snatches up one of my business cards out of the holder on the desk,
smiles brightly at me and says, “Great! So I guess I’ll be seeing
you around, friend!” enthusiastically waving my business card back
and forth in the air like it’s a Polaroid picture. She finishes
with, “I’ll be in touch.”
And then she’s out the door. I sit back in my chair and my brow
furrows once more as I scratch my chin.
Seriously. What the fuck just happened?
***

I walk myself down the
stairs and out of Nik’s building, thankfully remembering the way
Max showed me. I make my way across the street to Safira, bound
through the door grinning from ear to ear and holding Nik’s
business card. Mimi looks at me, her face twisted in confusion. She
looks around the store then back at me. She narrows her eyes and
slowly walks over to me. She takes the business card out of my hand
and reads aloud, “Nikolai Leokov. Owner. The White Rabbit.” She
breaks out into a huge smile and shakes her head in
disbelief.
She claps her hands together and yells, “I can’t believe it!
You’re
actually
going out with him!” Still smiling, she pats my hand. This
small action is
huge
for Mimi. In Mimi Land, that is a hug.
Meems knows all about my past relationship; in fact all my girls
know about Jace Weathers. I don’t keep secrets from them. One
girl’s night out, after one too many cherry bombs, I unloaded my
past onto Mimi and Lola. They listened intently as good friends do
and offered me unconditional support.
I love my girls.
They are
awesome
.
Mental note; make the girls
cupcakes.
I feel the rush of warmth
in my middle; my face softens a little but I quickly pull on a
poker face and straighten my back. I prepare for the wrath of
Mimi.
I overdo it a little with the cheer, smile big and say, “Actually,
we decided to be friends!”
Mimi does not speak for almost thirty seconds.
I chance a look at her. She is leaning gracefully with her tall,
lithe body against the counter, one leg crossed over the other. Her
eyes are narrowed (stop that darling, you’ll get wrinkles) and she
wears a facial expression that clearly says
Are you freaking kidding me?
And not
in a good way.
She shrieks, “Are you freaking KIDDING me??!”
Thar she blows!
I cringe and bite my lip before returning with, “It’s better for
everyone this way.”
She counters with, “Umm, No. It’s better for you.” She shakes her
head slightly and looks disappointed.
That sucks.
I don’t want to disappoint Mimi.
She and Lola have been on a mission since I told them about Jace
the Moron (which Natalie calls him, or The Moron for short). They
both set me up on blind dates hoping I would meet a nice man and
fall in love. I went on four dates in the last four months and all
the guys were nice. But, firstly, I don’t want to fall in love
again and, secondly, I’m happy with my life as it
is.
I don’t need a man.
I start, “Meems, I appreciate your interest in my
social life…”
“You mean
Lack Of
social life!” she bites back.
I continue “…and you’re a great friend. But I’m busy with the store
and I don’t have the time for a boyfriend right now. To tell you
the truth, I don’t
want
a boyfriend right now. I love my life. I’m back
on track and loving it.”
Jumping up, she plants her butt on the counter in front of me. She
leans in and whispers, “You’re my best friend.”
My throat closes up and my eyes mist. I whisper, “Honey…”
She goes on, “You gave me a chance when no one else would. I’ll
always be in your debt.” She looks uncomfortable and I know telling
me this is taxing her. “I know I’m not the most cheerful person and
I don’t do emotions well,” she whispers so quietly but I hear the
words clearly. “That man damaged you. I just want you to be
happy.”
Mimi is not wrong. Jace did damage me. Not physically but mentally.
I don’t trust the way I used to. It took me over a year to trust
Mimi and Lola enough to tell them about myself. They know most of
the dirty details of what Jace put me through. They know that loss
hit me hard and, yes, damaged me.
Who
isn’t damaged in some way or another these
days?
I’m a glass-half-full kind of
girl.
My palms start to sweat as I think about what I left behind in
Cali.
I miss it. A lot.
It sucks badly but I’m glad that soon I’ll have the best part of
Cali right here…Natalie!
Just another
week. Almost there.
My bff is a hoot;
so much attitude and sarcasm in such a small package. I love her
for that; she makes me laugh all the time. Humor is my way of
dealing with a plethora of things. I love to laugh. It calms
me.
She’s made me laugh a lot over the past year when I really needed
it. I can’t wait to see her so I can squeeze her. I haven’t seen
her in a year but we talk on the phone every few days and text
every day. She knows more about Jace than Mimi and Lola.
Uhh, Jace Weathers.
What can I say about Jace?
I met Jace just before I turned twenty. He was twenty three. We
were both in college when he asked me out. I said yes, and we spent
two wonderful years together.
He was my first in a lot of things. He was my first boyfriend, my
first love and my first…you know.
I had dated every now and again. I fooled around, too, but I kept
my virginity for
the
one
.
Jace, I thought, was the one for me. I gave him my virginity after
only three months together. After that first time, we did it a
lot.
How great is
sex?!
Pretty great if you ask me!
That’s the only thing I miss about having a man.
Jace was ecstatic that I was so enthusiastic about it. It was me
initiating foreplay most of the time and I kept him extremely
satisfied.
After two pretty great years together, we both decided that we were
too young to get engaged or even move in together. We were happy
with our relationship. Most of our time was spent together,
laughing and goofing off. We were happy. Well, I know
I
was happy.
Jace is a good looking guy. About 6 foot tall, lean and muscular.
He played basketball through college. Wearing his dark brown hair
in a spiked style, with green eyes and an easy smile. He stole my
heart.
I want it back, you goddamn
thief!
Everything was great until it
wasn’t.
I hate Jace now. I actually loathe Jace. He is a coward and a big
fat stupid head.
What more can I say about Jace?
He broke my heart; shattered it into a million pieces.
I mean, really, what kind of man doesn’t show up to his own
daughter’s funeral?