Frenzy (The Frenzy Series Book 1) (3 page)

“You had such big plans this morning, Mother?” Mother never did much of anything anymore. She refused to leave our home, or even the sanctity of her bedroom, more often than not.

She waved one arm, impatiently motioning for me to join her. Each step creaked underfoot. “Do you hear that?” she asked.

“The sound of dilapidation?”

She snorted in dismissal. “The sound of your footsteps burdening even the strongest of wooden planks. I think you could stand to eat a little less, Porschia.”

My stomach was gnawing on itself, and now it wanted me to chew her face off. I was thinner than the porch rail that my fingernails dug in to. I wished it was her skin.

“In fact,” she continued, “one of two things needs to happen today. You need to arrive at dinner with a viable prospect for a husband, or you need to be accepted into the rotation.”

Loudly grinding my teeth, which I knew she hated, I stared at her. She knew I had no prospects, and there was no way I would be accepted into the rotation; not so soon after Mercedes’ fall. She snarled her lip in response. “Your brother needs your rations.”

I snapped. “He has Mercedes’ rations!” Not to mention that I always wrapped some of my food in a napkin and slipped it to him beneath the table. While his eyes told me he didn’t want to take it, his hands accepted, too hungry to refuse.

“He’s still growing and you’re old enough to marry, old enough to have your own house and garden and pull your own weight.”

My mouth gaped open. “I don’t pull my own weight? When was the last time
you
got your fingers dirty, Mother? Or your shoes? When was the last time you canned food for your family? Carried laundry to the river? Left your bedroom during the daylight hours? Hmm?”

She waved me off. “You’ll get your own rations with a husband, and you’ll add to our family’s rations if you are accepted into the rotation. Earn your food or go without. It’s that simple. I won’t have you ducking out of the rotation and embarrassing this family again!”

“I did
not
duck out of the last one! I was anemic, which the physician said was the result of malnourishment! It wasn’t anything I could help, Mother.”

“No, and Mercedes took your place instead. And see where that got her?”

Guilt. That was how Mother won wars.

“I didn’t ask her to, and neither did the Elders. She volunteered to go. She loved to hunt, but loved to be away from you most of all.” I left her audible gasp behind me and stalked off toward the center of Blackwater Colony. Anger burned the skin of my face. I didn’t need a husband, but perhaps I could find one. And I would enter the rotation, because if I didn’t learn the art of seduction fast enough or get knocked up so that a guy had to marry me, I would starve without rations. Mother would see to that. She was going to punish me, every moment of every day, for Mercedes’ fall to the Infected.

The sun’s rays were burning off the fog, filtering through the almost-bare trees. Most of the leaves had fallen, leaving only a few still clinging to their branches. It was the tannins in those dark leaves that made the water run brownish-black, but clear. It was the silt from the river that gave the land its darkness. Everything in this place was cursed.

I headed toward town. Staying at home wasn’t an option. No one would be at Town Hall for another hour, at which time they would accept applicants for the new rotation. It started in two days. Choices were made quickly, and those choices were final. The Elders either chose you or excluded you. There was no negotiation, regardless of how desperate your plight. Everyone was desperate here.

My feet found the crumbling concrete road, whose twin yellow lines snaking down the center of the pavement were almost faded and chipped. They were useless anyway, just like the cars that once crowded these streets, the rusted skeletons sitting abandoned in yards, only good for the animals who sought shelter in their cubbies and compartments. Mother wasn’t excited about having children at all, so she told Father to name us. Father? Well, he wasn’t imaginative. There was no meaning behind our names. Mercedes, Porschia (though spelled more femininely), and Ford. We were named for the three rusting vehicles that were parked in our back yard. I think all but the navy blue Ford pickup were rusted well before the infection spread, long before people left this place in search of something safer – a safety they would never find. Their frames were almost eaten in two. No traces of paint were left.

Blackwater was not really a town. The real town lay beyond the tall concrete flood wall that now served as our border and protector. No, Blackwater was the forgotten section of a larger city. It was the area reserved for the citizens who couldn’t afford to live within its boundaries, so they bought cheap pieces of land; land that flooded. Land that no one else would dare inhabit. But within this small outskirt, sandwiched between the wall and the river, the founders of Blackwater saw the very real potential for safety. And they were right. Within our Colony, we were safe. It was only when we stepped foot outside that danger could reach us.

There were only a few houses between my best friend Meg’s house and mine. Her house was made of brick, but with only one story, her family lost their belongings with each swell of the river. They’d gotten better at stuffing things into the small attic space, piling things on countertops, and at saving what they could. My knuckles found her door. After three quick knocks in succession, Meg’s smiling face was staring at mine. Freckles dusted her porcelain skin and made the red glow of her hair that much more lovely. She was kind and happy, and that sort of happiness radiated through her so naturally it was like sunlight. Before you knew it, you were a kitten, purring contentedly in the sill, warmed by her light.

“Oh, no. What did she do now?” Meg understood about Mother, not because I’d told her, but because Mother never hid her true self from Meg while she visited me. I think that in Mother’s eyes, Meg was damned by association and not worthy of her carefully constructed façade.

She ushered me inside, her skirts stopping Priscilla, their cat, from escaping the house. There were few pets left in Blackwater, and Priscilla was one of them. Most found their way outside. Those that wandered would cross the trees that crossed the river or drown trying. Those that crossed into the forest were prey for bigger animals or the Infected.

I eased the door closed behind me, earning a meow from Priscilla, who’d already forgiven me for not letting her outside. She brushed back and forth across my legs. “Priscilla!” Meg admonished. “You’re getting her skirts all hairy!” Meg scooped up the white ball of fluff and carried her to the back of the house, closing her inside a bedroom.

“She was fine,” I told Meg.

“She’ll have your bottom half completely white before long.”

Meg was an only child. Her parents were loving and supportive; everything that my own were not. They always offered to let me stay the night or join them for dinner, which I might need to take them up on soon if I didn’t bring a boy home for dinner or get chosen for the rotation. They weren’t home, which meant they were likely still chatting with neighbors at the riverside.

Meg led me to the kitchen table and sat me in a wooden chair while she busied herself by filling a kettle of water and shoving it into the coals below. It would bubble in no time. “We need tea,” she said simply, as if the answer to life’s problems could be steeped from the leaves she cultivated from her window boxes.

“Do you know if Jonah is still interested in a...marriage?”

Meg turned around, her dark skirts swishing and her eyes wide. “Why do you ask about him?”

I swallowed. Though she knew how bitter and hateful my Mother was, she still wouldn’t understand the demands or threats made this morning.

Her brows relaxed and she turned, removing the screaming kettle from the coals and filling two mugs with steamy water. I could smell the herbs: chamomile and lavender. Honey. She sighed as she handed me my mug and sank into the seat across from me. “Jonah isn’t looking for a wife any longer. But if he was, he wouldn’t be a good match for you. He’s too quiet.”

“I might not have the luxury of waiting to choose someone good for me. Besides, he’s a nice guy and I thought he was ready to settle down. It’s almost winter.” All marriages happened in the winter when the Elders and colonists were the least busy.

Meg’s cheeks turned red. “What I mean to say, is that Jonas asked
me
to marry him.”

My eyebrows shot up and I smiled, shoving away from my seat and wrapping her in a hug. “Congratulations!” I squeaked.

Meg’s eyes were guarded when I pulled away from her. “Do you like
him?” she asked tentatively.

“No, I don’t like him like that.” I sighed, dropping back into my seat. “It’s Mother.”

She nodded and sipped her tea.

“Will she choose for you if you don’t?”
No, she doesn’t care that much
, I wanted to say. She would just see me starve. She would push me to cross the border to find food because she wanted me to be Infected—to be rid of me. Mother wanted revenge.

“I doubt it. Don’t worry about me.”

I glanced at the clock and realized that my visit, though it seemed short, had taken much longer than I thought. “Um, I have to go. Thanks for the tea, Meg.” Abruptly, I stood up and hugged her, making a hasty retreat before she could ask where I was going. Meg was terrified of the rotation and had never entered it, but she had the luxury of food and love to surround her and no need to put herself into it. But she was kind and didn’t want me to enter it, either. She would throw a fit or cry if I told her my true intention, so I did what I did best. I ran away.

Town Hall was another short jog up the concrete road. Meg followed me as far as the porch. She called out, asking where I was going so early in the morning and telling me I could stay with her. I knew that, and I didn’t mean to be rude by leaving so abruptly, but I literally could not lie to Meg. She would have an absolute conniption if she knew where I was going next and what I was about to do. I couldn’t handle her pleas or tears.

As much as she was my friend, she’d grown to be Mercedes’ as well, and Mercedes’ infection devastated Meg. She wouldn’t approve of me stepping foot across the boundary. I thought about the night-walkers, about how lucky they were. They could come and go as they pleased. They were strong and fast and immune to the infection that took away family, friends, and neighbors.
What would Mother think if I brought a night-walker home for dinner?

Walking down the street, watching the shadows in the windows of the houses, candles being extinguished, people welcoming the day, I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. I needed to be chosen. If my blood was strong, I would just have to convince them to let me enter the rotation. I knew it was highly improbable, because my parents just lost a daughter and the Elders wouldn’t want them to lose a second child, especially so soon.
Maybe I could sneak a drop of someone else’s blood somehow. Stab them with my hairpin?

Before I knew it, I was stepping between the twin oaks that lined the walkway to Town Hall. According to the sign that hung askew next to the front double-doors, the building used to be a church: Blackwater Church of God. I tried the handle and found the doors unlocked. The moisture outside had already seeped into the fabric of my dress. I shivered, wishing that the sanctuary had a fire place. The ancient boards creaked beneath my feet with each step forward.
I think you could stand to eat a little less, Porschia
.