Freefall (Santa Cruz Skydivers Book 1) (18 page)

Chapter Twenty

Andi

Levi had a strange look on his face after he ordered our drinks and food. He sat down on the chair opposite me and playfully flicked at the straw wrapper I had been nervously twirling. I got the feeling that something had been building up inside of him since he took his shower. It was the look on his face that sealed my fate. This was it. The great let-down. Sure, we’d had an amazing twenty-four hours together, but like all good things that came into my life, it eventually had to end.

I looked everywhere around the cafe but at him. Families enjoying a leisurely Sunday afternoon get-together, groups of friends hanging out and showing each other photos on their cell phones, chilling out, laughing. Everywhere, there seemed to be people surrounding us that were loving life. Except us. There was nothing but an awkward silence between us.

“Andi...” he started.

“What did you order?” I wasn’t ready to hear the truth just yet. I wanted to live in my little fantasy world a bit longer. The one where he felt the same way I did. The one where he was falling in love with me. The one where we went back to his place and made love and talked, and then repeated it all over again. I was sitting here even wondering what he tasted like. Imagining taking him in my mouth. Something I hadn’t ever thought I could do. I ignored the spreading wet patch in my panties. Obviously, my vagina and heart were of the same mind on this one.

He frowned at me, and opened and closed his mouth, like he wanted to tell me something more important than what he ordered us to drink. Instead, he just smiled politely and answered me.

“Just some fries and a couple of detox juices. They are really great for hangovers.”

I forced a laugh. “That’s great, let’s flush the kidneys ready for some grease. How’s your eye feeling?” If I kept up with the questions, he might forget to cut me loose.

He pressed gently around the cut under his eye. He had removed the plaster after his shower. The cut had closed neatly and the swelling had started to subside, but the bruise was still developing, turning his eye a nice shade of purple and blue.

“It’s fine. A little tender, but I’ll survive. How’s your shoulder and elbows?”

I touched my shoulder where it had been grazed and looked at my elbows. “Just a little skin off. No problem, they’re already scabbing over. What do you think made Ben come and fight you anyway? I thought you two were friends?”

“Ben thinks I’m after Taylor.”

“Taylor Lawson?” I asked incredulously. “Why would he think that?”

“Well, you know how I told you about the girl I followed to LA?”

I nodded. An uneasy feeling settled into the pit of my gut that had nothing to do with too much tequila. “The one who broke your heart?”

He winced ever so slightly when I mentioned his broken heart. From that fleeting look, I knew then that he wasn’t truly over this girl and I wanted to put my fingers in my ears. I really didn’t want to hear what he had to say next.

He nodded his head, confirming the answer to my question. “Well, the girl was Taylor,” he confessed, dropping the mother of all bombshells.

That would explain everything. It was all abso-fucking-lutely clear to me now. I could never compete with her. No wonder he wasn’t interested in a relationship with anyone else. My self-confidence now reached an all-time low.

“Oh, okay,” I said, trying to keep my tone casual. Trying not to show how deflated I felt.

Really, I didn’t know what to say. I was lost for words. Shattered was the closest word I could use to describe my emotions. Last night, I was preaching to him how good a listener I was, and asked him to confide in me. To trust me. And now that he was, I wished he hadn’t. I looked away from him, staring out at the ocean.

“It’s a beautiful view,” I said, completely off topic.

He ignored my comment, reached over, and grabbed my hand, linking our fingers together. “I’m not interested in her. Ben has been misinformed. She is nothing but my past.”

I tried to shake it off, not let it affect me, but inside, I was crumbling. I put my guard back up and forced a small smile, patting the back of his hand condescendingly. “Levi, please don’t feel you have to explain yourself. I’m not some clingy psycho bitch who thinks just because we screwed once we are exclusive. We only just met two nights ago. Besides, last time I checked, we were just buddies.”

I didn’t need to add fuck buddies. I was sure he knew what I meant. Thankfully, before the conversation progressed any further, our drinks and fries arrived. Extracting my hand from his, we sat in silence and drank our juices. Not exactly the way I had envisioned our day ending. Of course, as much as I wished it would happen, I had always known we could never be a couple. And while I knew our time together would end, I just hadn’t expected it to end like this. I thought it would have been a quick kiss, thanks for the fuck, and I’ll call you. Not a total confession that his ex-girlfriend was a Hollywood actress. Even though he denied it, he quite possibly still had feelings for her. She was, after all, his first love. No one forgot his or her first love. I knew I wouldn’t. He was right in front of me, and one hundred percent unobtainable.

“Tell me something about you, Andi. Something I don’t know.” He not so delicately shoved a handful of fries in his mouth.

I stirred my green detox juice with the straw, and confided in him my second dream. “Well, one day, I think I’d like to go to college and study to be a kindergarten teacher.”

“Why not study now? There’s no time like the present.”

I shook my head, watching him throw more fries in his mouth. “I can’t afford it. I gave my college fund to my parents when my dad nearly died. But one day, maybe.”

“I could see you doing that. I think you’d be great with kids.” He threw another fry in his mouth. “Aren’t you eating?”

“I’m not really hungry,” I replied honestly. The juice was doing very little to ease my upset stomach.

“Are you sure I can’t tempt you? These fries are really tasty. Look.” He shoved more fries in his mouth and chewed with his mouth open wide, looking and sounding like a cow chewing its cud.

As he continued to masticate open-mouthed, a great big chunk of mashed-up potato dropped out of his mouth. His paused mid-chew, eyes and mouth open wide, unsure of my reaction. His expression was priceless. Fortunately for him, I had three brothers. But, unfortunately for me, at that exact moment, I had taken a mouthful of juice and was forced to hold in a laugh, resulting in me blowing juice out my nose onto the table, which only set Levi off laughing, now spraying bits of chewed-up potato in my direction. I gulped down what was left of the juice in my mouth, ignoring my burning nasal passage, and picked up a fry, throwing it at him while I laughed. Levi swallowed what food remained in his mouth and threw back his head, bellowing with laughter.

“Oh my God, you’re disgusting. I can’t believe you just did that,” I said, gasping for air while still laughing. I grabbed a napkin to wipe my face of juice and potato. “Get a Kleenex or something!”

Levi had been laughing so hard he now had tears rolling down his face. He wiped his eyes with a napkin, careful not to knock his cut. “I’m disgusting? You’re the one that just blew juice out of your nose. Shit, Andi, I haven’t laughed that hard in ages. The look on your face when the juice came flying out...”

“Are you kidding me? You are clearly way more disgusting than me. You dropped massive chunks of food from your mouth onto the table, then sprayed potato all over my face.” I clutched my stomach. It was hurting from laughing so much.

“We’d make a good couple,” Levi said.

Those five words instantly wiped the smile from my face. Right at that moment, an elderly couple walked past our table holding hands, the lady pausing next to us while her husband continued on to sit at a table on the other side of the cafe.

“It’s lovely to see such young love still exists,” the old lady said to us both. “You are such a cute couple. My husband and I saw you both at the lookout before. I just had to tell you.”

I looked at Levi, who was smiling kindly at her.

“Thanks...” he started to say, but I was quick to interrupt.

“Oh no, we aren’t together,” I told her quickly, cutting off Levi mid-sentence. “We’re just friends.”

“Oh, I’m sorry dear. My mistake. Please forgive me for intruding,” she said with a slightly puzzled looked on her kind, wrinkled face, and continued to walk over to her husband.

Levi and I looked at each other, slightly bemused expressions on our faces.

“What a sweet old lady,” I told him. “That’s funny, though, how she said that. Thinking we were a couple.”

“That is funny,” he agreed. “But, this is actually perfect timing. Since we’ve been together today, I’ve been meaning to discuss the whole friends with benefits thing.”

He leaned across the table, his hands only inches from mine. His beautiful face turned serious.
Oh great, here it comes. The big let-down. We aren’t even dating and he’s dumping me.

“Yeah, me too.” I thought on my feet. I wanted to beat him to the punch. There was nothing worse than a desperate girl. And, believe me, being the eternal desperate girl, I knew. Seeing as I was all about trying new things at the moment, like multiple orgasms and sex with a virtual stranger, there was no time like present to change. Or, at the very least, try to appear to be a little less desperate.

“You have?” he asked me, slightly surprised.

I sat up straight and moved my hands off the table, placing them in my lap. I envisioned him holding my hands and looking at me like the pathetic human I was while he told me it wouldn’t work between us, and how he wasn’t over Taylor. Well, I didn’t need his hand-holding pity. I took a couple of breaths in quick succession.

“Yeah, well, I just thought it best we be friends only,” I said with more poise than I felt. “No benefits,” I added as an afterthought, just to be clear.

I was cutting him loose. Getting in first to save him the trouble. It was killing me. Every inch of my body was craving his touch. My whole life I had been waiting, dreaming for him to come into my life. I wished it could be true that we were a couple, just like the old lady thought.

He looked at me and I held my breath, waiting for his reaction as my words sunk in. His green eyes searched my face for an emotion, a clue to what I was thinking. But I had a good poker face. I may suck balls at playing poker, but I certainly knew how to hide my emotions.

“Sure, that’s great,” he said slowly, nodding his head. His hands, lost for company, started fiddling with the condiments in the middle of the table.

He looked away from me, denying me those eyes. Without any more dialogue between us to be said, he drained his juice, pushed his chair back, and stood up.

“It’s time I took you home. I’ll go fix the bill. Meet you out at the bike.”

And then he turned and walked away. I hadn’t expected him to be so pissed. It wasn’t like we had a future together. Guess he was the one who liked to call the shots. Probably best it ended now then. My brothers would definitely not have approved of us dating if he was a control freak. Slowly, I gathered up my belongings, mulling over his reaction and replaying that scene in my head with different scenarios, and every time it ended up with us deciding to not further our quote-unquote
friends with benefits
. I flung the jacket he had lent me over my arm, glancing over at the sweet old couple before I left. They were sitting opposite each other, their wrinkled hands entwined, in a world of their own. What I wouldn’t give for an everlasting love like theirs.

I sighed, rooted to the spot. The lady looked at me and smiled kindly. I smiled back, and not wanting to intrude any longer on their intimate moment, I turned on my heel and walked to the door. On my way out, I took a sneaky glance over my shoulder at Levi paying the bill. I wanted to sneak in one more quick look at his sexy ass in his tight jeans. Just because I couldn’t own it, didn’t mean I couldn’t still admire it.

My clandestine look didn’t go unnoticed. It appeared he had the same idea, but why he would be looking at me was anyone’s guess. He was watching me from where he stood in the cashier line, a guarded look shadowing his features. I swallowed hard. My heart was hurting so much I couldn’t even force a smile at him. The room started to close in on me and became far too small, reminding me I hadn’t taken my medication again today.

I needed out of here. I needed fresh air and a space to clear my head as thoughts of the ride home seeped into my psyche like a torture tactic. It was made especially difficult knowing I had to sit snuggly and intimately behind that tight ass. In fact, I was sure water boarding would have been a kinder punishment than having to sit behind him, with my arms wrapped around his waist and my hands only inches from his glorious cock.

Showing him no emotions and holding my head high, I walked out the door toward the bike, starting to contemplate if calling one of my brothers for a lift was a better idea than getting on the bike behind Levi.

As I was about to walk back inside to use the pay phone, because my cell battery had died last night, Levi exited through the doors and walked toward me. His body language said it all. His hands were shoved deep into his front jean pockets and his sexy green eyes were cast downward. He couldn’t even look at me. A small part of me had been clinging to a sliver of hope that he still wanted me, casual lay or not. But then again, why would he want me? I was inexperienced and neurotic. Plus, he had Taylor at his beck and call. I was no competition for her. I wasn’t even in the vicinity of her league.