Authors: Anna Levine

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Freefall (20 page)

BOOK: Freefall

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“I want to stay here with you.”

“I may get a few days off .” He looks away from me and brushes his palm across his forehead. “But if the doctors say I'm fit and my unit is going back in, if I can, I need to be with them.”

As I open my mouth to object, he pulls me closer and places his lips gently by my ear. His breath is warm, intimate, sending tremors down my spine. “It's just how things are, Aggie. It's complicated, but I think you can understand. Anyway, one thing I know for sure, as soon as I get home, I'll want you with me every second.” His lips linger by my ear. “And you'll be there, right?”

I nod my head, too undone to answer.

“Take my jacket. You're a danger walking around like that.”

I'm not sure how I manage to pull myself away, but I find myself swaddled in Noah's army jacket, his mother's arm around me leading me to an army bus, where she tucks me into a seat by the window.

“Thank you,” Dalia says as she kisses the top of my head. “Thank you for being there with Noah.” She takes a deep breath. “I'm sorry you'll miss Shira. She's on her way up with her father.”

I cover my hands over my face and groan.

“What's wrong, dear?”

“I haven't told Shira yet about me and Noah,” I say, cringing with embarrassment.

Dalia laughs. “And you're telling me she hasn't noticed how my Noah acts around you?” She strokes my head. “Okay. I promise I won't say anything until you tell her.”

“Thank you.” I slump back against the seat. “Now I have to face my parents. They're really mad at me, aren't they?”

“They're worried, of course. But they're also very proud of you.”

“Really?” I stare up at her.

“Really. They told me all about how you're determined to get into a combat unit. They said, âWhen our Aggie puts her mind to something, nothing stands in her way.'”

“I wish I could call them. Tell them I'm okay. Tell them I'm sorry for worrying them. But I've left my cell phone and all my stuff in the hotel room and now it's too late to pick them up.”

“Here, take my phone.” She hands it to me. “I don't need it.”

“Oh no, I couldn't. There must be so many people who want to call you, see how you are, how Noah isâ”

She shakes her head. “And that's exactly why I don't want it on me. I need some quiet time. Make your phone calls and then turn it off . I'm sure you could also use a few minutes to yourself.”

I take the phone and slip it into the pocket of Noah's jacket. “Thank you.”

“I'll get Shira to pick up your thingsâthough I'm sure you'll be back soon enough.” She gives me a knowing smile and leaves.

The bus fills up slowly with soldiers and civilians. A girl sits down next to me. I scrunch closer to the window, tilting my body away from her. I can feel her eyes peering at me curiously. I must be an odd sight in an army coat, short skirt, and high-heeled shoes.

“Nice outfit,” she says, laughing.

“Yes, I know. I look ridiculous.”

She sticks a bag of chips in front of me. “Want some?”

“Thanks,” I say. Taking a few, I realize how hungry I am.

I give her a grateful smile.

She looks me over. “You don't recognize me, do you?”

She's wearing high-heeled summer sandals, tight jeans, and a black sleeveless shirt. She smells slightly like Amber Romance, a scent I recognize because Hila bought me some for my last birthday.

“You look really familiar,” I say, “but I'm sorry. My brain isn't working.”

She laughs with a light kind of carefree lilt.

I take a closer look. I know I know her. But I'm stumped. Her hair is cut short and feathers softly over her ears. Green eyes, bright and candid, look at me teasingly. There's something about her that is so familiar, but I draw a blank.

“I always get a kick out of it when this happens,” she says.

Leaning back into my seat, hugging Noah's coat around me, I'm torn between wanting my solitude and a nagging curiosity. “Were you in one of my classes or something?”

She slaps her thigh and laughs louder. “You spend an intensive period with someone, and you'd think you'd leave more of an impression, but I guess not.”

“Okay,” I say. “Give me a hint.”

She clears her throat. Sits up and turns to me. Her jaw tightens. Her eyes narrow. Her posture stiffens. “Forty seconds. That hill. To the top! Back! Now!”

My mouth drops open. “
Ken!
Commander. Forgive me. I didn't recognize you.” My spine becomes ramrod straight.

She slumps back and laughs. “Relax, Number Eighteen. We're both off duty.” She runs her hand through her hair. “What's your name again? I'm great with numbers but names . . .”

“Aggie.”

“Right! Abigail Jacobs.”

“Tami,” she says, reintroducing herself. “But I thought you were a Jerusalemite. What are you doing all the way up here?”

I tell her about Lily's house being hit and the animals and helping out at the hospital.

“Why do I think you're leaving out the best part?”

I squirm. “Must be the oversized army coat.”

She smiles. “Of course. A dead giveaway. I've got one, too.” She sighs. We both let our heads loll against the seat. The bus speeds down the deserted highway as dawn spreads across the horizon.

“What are you doing up here?” I ask.

“I got a few days off to help my parents. They've got a hatchery up past Nahariya, and all their help has been deployed.” She giggles. “But it wasn't all chickens and eggs,” she confesses quietly. “Yesterday I got to spend the afternoon with my boyfriend.”

She's got such a silly grin that I can't help but laugh, too. She crosses her legs. “So you came all the way up from Jerusalem to be with Lily.” She offers me more chips. “I knew you two stars would hit it off ,” she says.

“Stars?” I say, unable to keep the disbelief out of my voice.

I think of what I'm going to tell Lily, and my head is racing with questions. Tami picks up a chip, pops it in her mouth, and licks the salt off her fingers. Turning to face me, she gives me one of her commander looks, a look I recognize. I steady myself and wait.

“You still have a long way to go, Aggie. There's basic training, which is tough, a lot tougher than the little sample you had.” She cracks a smile. “But then, if, after two years, you are where I believe you'll be, you and your sidekick Lily will be leading a group of new recruits.”

“Just like you?”

She laughs. “Why not? You certainly have what it takes.”

I want to ask her more, but just then her cell phone starts crooning a soppy love song. She glances at the number on her phone, motioning me to wait while she takes the call.

“Hey, love,” she says. Her voice drops to a whisper, and she shifts slightly to the other side. I turn back to the window to give her privacy.

I'm wiped. Exhausted. Done in. Tuckered out. My body droops from the strain of it all, except for a slight smile I feel lifting the corners of my mouth.

I slip out the cell phone from Noah's jacket and dial home. “Hey, it's me. I'm on the way back home. But listen, I've got some great news!”

Epilogue

I am about to jump.

I am about to jump wearing a full load on my back.

Feet, knees, hip, back, roll
.

Crammed tightly, the pack is stuffed with my anxieties, fearsâand the army-issued parachute. It is secured to my chest with strings and clasps. It holds my heart in place, should it try to break free. When the time is right, I will yank the cord.

At that moment, the pack will open. My fears will rise to the dome of my chute, where they will hover. And for a moment, I will be free of them.

Feet, knees, hip, back, roll
. I have been trained to react without thinking. My body knows the drill. I will fall. Drift. Soar. Once my feet make contact with the ground, I will drop to my knees, lean into my hip, flip onto my back, and roll.

Not another rehearsal; this is reality. Am I ready? Yes. I can do this. Really, I can.

The door is pushed open. A rush of air blasts at me. The noise of the airplane motor swells and crashes inside my head.

I am sandwiched in. We shuffle forward like penguins. Birds without wings forced to fly. My hands clench the rungs. I have been trained for this moment, but nothing can tame the terror in my bones and the fear churning in my stomach.

“Green!”

I'm not ready to let go.

“Jump!”

The air batters against my chest, pressing me back. The engine thunders in my head.

And then my fingers are pried from the rungs.

There are moments in life when you have to jump. You throw yourself into the atmosphere hoping you'll land right, hoping your parachute will open and ease your fall. If you're lucky, you'll have a crowd of onlookers waiting on the ground to greet you. Some chutes glide with the wind until you land effortlessly. Others get caught up in turbulence and the ride down to earth is bumpier, the landing harder. The thing is you never know how it'll be until you step out and take the chance.

And when you hit the air, before your automatic parachute opens, there are a few seconds in which you are suspended. Skydivers call it freefall. I like to think of this time as that fleeting moment in life when you can see everything with unusual clarity.

As I peer out at the land rising up toward me, I am amazed at how small it all looks, as if I can scoop up all the land and cradle it in the palm of my hand. I wonder, as I am watched from below, if I look like a kite that has broken loose from the strings that once held it.

Feet, knees, hip, back, roll.

The ground is hard:
feet
.

The impact quick:
knees
.

But I am quicker:
hips
.

The sky retreats:
back
.

I am home:
roll
.

About the Author

Anna Levine
has lived in Israel for more than twenty years, having emigrated
there on her own when she was eighteen. She is the mother of two sonsâboth of
whom are serving in the Israeli Army. Aggie's experiences in the novel are partly based on
the author's time spent in underground bomb shelters after rockets hit her kibbutz.
www.annalevine.org

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Credits Page

Jacket design by Victoria Jamieson

This book is a work of fiction. References to real people, events, establishments, organizations, or locales are intended only to provide a sense of authenticity, and are used to advance the fictional narrative. All other characters, and all incidents and dialogue, are drawn from the author's imagination and are not to be construed as real.

Freefall
Copyright Â© 2008 by Anna Levine

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Levine, Anna.
Freefall / by Anna Levine.
p. cm.
“Greenwillow Books.”
Summary: As war between Israel and Lebanon breaks out in 2006 and her compulsory service in the Israeli army draws near, teenaged Aggie considers joining an elite female combat unit.
[1. Self-realizationâFiction. 2. SoldiersâFiction.
3. IsraelâFiction. 4. Lebanon War, 2006âFiction.] I. Title.
PZ7.L57823Fr 2008Â Â Â Â Â Â Â [Fic]âdc22Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â 2008003826

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