Freak Show (29 page)

Tomorrow night was Kylarai’s engagement party. It was going to open the door on a new phase of life for her. It was also going to mean many hours of wedding planning. She meant the world to me. I’d do all I could to help, though I imagined she was already on top of everything.

The sound of the zombie apocalypse was accompanied by the yips and howls of coyotes outside. They would lurk around my yard and make noise as long as there was no sign of me. When I ran as wolf, they were long gone.

Staring brainlessly at the television felt really damn nice. The absence of thought was rare and welcome. It didn’t take long for the images on the screen to blur as my eyelids drooped.

I was still exhausted from the trip. It was going to take some time to recover. Las Vegas was like a never-ending hangover. I could still feel it in me days later. Slumber beckoned, and I happily succumbed.

My dreams were mostly made up of random images, things I would never remember upon waking. Then the haze in my subconscious cleared, and I found myself gazing down at the inviting form of a scantily clad woman. She lay sprawled across a bed, staring up at me with terror in her wide eyes. Her dark hair was in disarray, and her body bore the marks of abuse. Her lips moved, but I ignored her pleas for mercy. If I allowed myself to enjoy her desperation, it would drive me over the edge much too quickly.

I’d had this dream before. If in fact, it was a dream at all. It wasn’t the first time I’d slipped into Arys’s thoughts without trying.

An overturned lamp cast a dim glow from where it lay on the floor. A small television played with the sound on mute. I didn’t spare a glance at the screen; it was irrelevant. I advanced on her with lips peeled back to expose my fangs. I itched for the moment when they would pierce her flesh. The pulsing vein in her throat beckoned me, demanding I taste her.

There was no second thoughts, no consideration that I would not do this. She was already mine.

Inside Arys’s mind, I was a silent passenger, feeling only what he felt. The promise of ecstasy fed my excited anticipation. It was growing increasingly difficult to drag this out. Rushing the moment her blood would flow was not to my tastes. However, one could only withhold the hunger for so long before snapping.

I tired of her shrieks and pleas, seeking to change her tune. A caress in the right place, a few whispered words in her ear, and she was a writhing mess of lust, begging me to fulfill her unholy need.

She reached up to entangle her hand in my long locks. Seeing the ash blonde strands wrapped around her fingers gave me pause. It struck me that something wasn’t right here, but the bloodlust’s demand washed away my confusion.

Her smooth skin was hot beneath my tongue. I licked and sucked at her jugular, groaning in need. I couldn’t wait anymore. Sinking my fangs, I laughed wickedly as her moans mingled with cries. Blood burst from the vein to coat my tongue. I drank deeply, finding satisfaction at last. The dizzying storm of energy swept me up in its thrall. Fear, desire, excitement. All delectable flavors of the feed, each encouraging my hunger for all she had to give.

Never did it occur to me to stop. Not until I heard her heart stutter in its final throes. Her grip on me grew slack, and she lay motionless beneath me. I jerked back with a sigh, riding the high of the kill. Satisfied, I lay beside her lifeless body, watching the stars explode behind my eyes.

There was no guilt, no remorse of any kind. There never was in Arys’s memories, not since the very beginning, three centuries ago. It merely was what it was, a moment of bliss that I was surely entitled to after so much hunger.

At last, I slipped off the bed and gathered myself. I turned to go and caught sight of myself in her bedroom mirror. It was not Arys’s reflection I saw but my own. Staring back at me was my own face, lips bloodstained, and eyes that seemed to glow a deep vampire blue. My cheeks were flushed with stolen blood. Beneath my upper lip were two small and perfect fangs.

How could it be that this was not Arys’s memory at all? The vampiress staring back at me was indeed me, though gazing at her, I felt detached, like she was someone else entirely.

As I backed away from the mirror in fright, my reflection did not do the same. She merely watched me with a devilish smile. I turned to run, but to where, I didn’t know. All I knew was that I had to escape this place.

I awoke with a start. A noise had disturbed me. Lunging off the couch, I almost face planted on the floor when the raised bottom of the recliner tripped me up. Dazed from the sudden interruption of sleep, I pushed to my feet and whirled around to find Falon standing in the attached kitchen.

“For fuck’s sakes, Falon.” My shout bordered on hysterical. As far as rude awakenings go, this had to be one of the worst. “What the hell are you doing in my house?”

“Watching you sleep,” he said, lifting one shoulder in a half-assed shrug. “You snore. I think you drool too. It’s an ugly sight.”

“Get out of my house,” I seethed. “You’re not welcome here. Ever. Got it?” There was something incredibly unsettling about Falon watching me sleep. It gave me the creeps in a big way.

“Hey, I knocked on the door. Nobody answered. So I let myself in.”

“Liar.”

“Ok, I’m lying. I came in because I have a message from Shya, and you won’t answer his calls. Deal with it.”

“I don’t want to talk to Shya, and I sure as shit don’t want to talk to you. Get out.”

He walked around my living room, scrutinizing photos and touching objects on the shelf beside the TV. The bastard seemed to feed off my anger, so I kept my tirade to myself and watched him, waiting for him to get to the point.

“You don’t have to talk. Just listen.” Falon turned to me with a photo in his hand. It was of Shaz and me, taken long before I had known of Shya’s role in my life. “You almost look innocent here. So misleading.”

“You know what? I’m going to call Shya right now. I’d rather listen to his crap than yours.” I rummaged through my shoulder bag for my phone, hoping it would get Falon to leave.

“Don’t waste your time. He’s unavailable at the moment. Which is why I’m playing messenger. Lucky us, huh?”

“Indeed.” A growl laced my word. Arms crossed, I tapped a foot impatiently.

Falon returned the photo to its place before slipping back into the kitchen to peer into the fridge. He was trying to antagonize me, clearly. It was working. I wanted to kick him in the ass when he bent over to ogle my leftovers.

“Spinach?” His voice was muffled by the refrigerator. “Funny. I didn’t imagine wolves to be veggie eaters. Definitely not surprised by all the booze. I suppose it helps, to drink your problems away. Might as well do as much of that as you can. You may not have much time left for such human vices.”

He was hitting too close to home after the dream I’d just had. Since I still hadn’t had a chance to process it, I was reluctant to talk about such things. As hard as it was to bite back the flood of curse words dancing on the tip of my tongue, I kept quiet and waited. Eventually he would have to tire of this game. Right?

After criticizing my groceries, furniture and even my attire, Falon grew bored of hearing himself talk. “Shya wants you to stay in town. After all the crap in Vegas, he insists that you stay local for a while. He wants you close.”

“And he couldn’t leave that in a message on my voicemail?” It was getting harder and harder to resist the urge to throw a dirty dish from the sink at him.

Falon gave me one of his famous glares, the kind that implied I was a total idiot and a waste of his precious time. “Your voicemail is always full. I’m sure you do that on purpose. And no, unfortunately, there’s more.”

He stepped toward me with an intimidating gait. Instinctively, I backed away, into the living room. I held up a hand to ward him off, a blue and gold psi ball blazed in my palm.

It did nothing to deter him. “Don’t even try it,” he warned. “I’ll strip your power and leave you here crying and weak.”

“What are you doing?” I gasped when he seized my arm. Turning it over so the dragon on my inner forearm was exposed, Falon dragged a finger over the winged beast, drawing some kind of symbol over top of it. I shuddered at his touch.

Nothing visible appeared, but I could feel the dark magic take hold. It burned, searing my flesh until I yelped. Although it hurt, it was nothing compared to having the dragon first etched into my forearm.

“Just a little binding so you stay put,” Falon said, releasing me. “Try to leave, and it will cause you crippling pain. So please do be your stubborn self and find out the hard way. I’d love to see that.”

I held my arm close, focusing on slow, steady breaths until the burning subsided. Falon left without another word. Only the sound of feathers ruffling accompanied his departure.

A binding to keep me in town? What kind of fuckery was that? I sank slowly down on the arm of the couch. Shya wanted me close bad enough to bind me. The heavy meaning of that action set bats loose inside me. My insides turned. It could only mean one thing. The time was near when he would use my death as planned to open the seal that held the scroll he so desperately sought. Had he found it already then?

A knot of panic choked me. The dream now held meaning. For a year, I’d known that I would one day rise as a vampire. Now it felt real. Things were changing and fast. Had the dream merely been a frightened projection of my subconscious, or was it a vision of what was to come?

Chapter Twenty

A house full of werewolves can make for an interesting party. The engagement party for Kylarai and Coby was off to a great start. Being there with them was easily the highlight of my whole week.

The heavenly aroma of barbecued meat tantalized my senses. It mingled with the scent of coffee, liquor and wolf. Gifts were stacked in the living room despite Ky’s insistence that nobody bring any. Mine was among them, a gift certificate to a local home decor store where I knew Kylarai loved to shop.

The entire town pack was there. It had been awkward to walk into Kylarai’s house, knowing what they all thought of me. Thankfully, our differences were set aside for the night. We were there to celebrate a friend. That’s all that mattered.

“Are you going to run with us tonight?” Shaz leaned in close, gracing me with his musky wolf scent.

“As long as nobody has a problem with that.”

Shaz pulled me in close for a nuzzle. “Well, I’m Alpha, and I say that anyone with a problem can take it up with me.”

I eyed the wolves of my former pack, expecting animosity but finding none. Being kicked out of my own pack had been damn hard, though I knew it was best for everyone. For the most part my former pack was polite, greeting me as I passed, asking how I was. We all knew it was just for show. Facing them all like this made it feel very fresh.

If I’d been any one of them, I would have felt the same way. I was a liability. No longer able to promise them safety, it just made sense that I had to go. Still, I had never been a lone wolf. Until now.

A cool blast of air entered through the open patio door. People went back and forth from the house to the yard, voices raised in joyful chatter. Everyone had hugs and words of encouragement for the happy couple. I awaited my own moment with them.

I sipped from a glass of whiskey on the rocks. Falon’s words flashed back to me as I savored the burn. He was right. My time for human vices was running out. I might as well make the most of it. Abandoning the notion of sipping, I slammed back the drink and rose to get another.

“Thank you for coming.” Coby’s gentle tone grabbed my attention.

He was standing in the kitchen, leaning on the partition that separated the small cooking area from the dining room. Short brown hair and a scruffy five o’clock shadow made him ruggedly handsome. His hazel eyes showed his gentle nature. Still a new wolf, turned by me during a fit of vampiric hunger, Coby had been adjusting well in recent weeks.

Setting my drink on the counter, I threw my arms around him in a warm hug. “I wouldn’t have missed it for anything. I’m so happy for you both.”

He tensed at first, then relaxed and slipped his arms around me. The embrace was brief but warm and meaningful. He and I would always be linked in some way. His forgiveness of my attack meant a lot to me.

“Alexa, I want to thank you, for everything. But especially for Kylarai. Your encouragement really helped me get the balls to ask her out in the first place.” He smiled, a sheepish grin that exuded joy. “I’ve never been much of a love at first sight kind of guy. Not until now.”

“I couldn’t hand pick a better man for Kylarai than you.” It was true. Ky had been hungry for love, seeking it in humans and even Kale. Her last relationship had ended badly. The fact that she even had the guts to try again spoke volumes.

Coby glanced around, ensuring nobody was paying us any attention. “Look, I know things are gonna get bad for you. Kylarai has shared a lot with me; I hope you don’t mind. I just want you to know that I’m here for you. If you need me to back you up, on anything, don’t hesitate to say the word.”

I could have cried. We were not incredibly close by any means. For a while, I’d fully expected Coby to harbor a grudge toward me. So this proclamation gave me the warm and fuzzies in a big way. There were no words for what I was feeling. In a house filled with wolves who had cast me out, here was the only one with a good reason to do so, offering me friendship.

I hugged him again, so tight he made a pained sound. “Thank you,” I whispered, turning away before I could tear up. He slipped outside to tend the barbecue, leaving me alone.

Shouts and laughter filled the house. It was a heartwarming sound. I stood in the kitchen drinking whiskey and reveling in the sound and smell of so many wolves. It brought forth the beast within, keeping the bloodlust buried.

“Why are you hiding in here by yourself?” Kylarai appeared with an empty appetizer plate in hand. She gave me a once over and set the plate down. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Really. Congratulations, again. I’m so happy for you.” I pulled her in for a hug, savoring her familiar scent of wolf and flowers.

“Thank you. Now tell me what’s wrong.” She turned to the fridge and began to pile more appetizers onto the plate, but her grey eyes were on me. “Don’t bullshit me either. You guys don’t call me a mother hen for nothing.”

I smiled. She was so intuitive when it came to Shaz and me. She knew us so well. “I’m fine, I promise. Just recovering from a vacation that was anything but relaxing.”

“And?” She prodded.

It was tempting to tell her about my dream and the growing suspicion that my mortal days were dwindling. She knew everything else already. Kylarai was family, like a sister to me. She was also a worrier.

“And nothing. I swear. Just hiding in the kitchen because I feel like everyone else is looking at me, waiting for me to snap and bleed someone.”

She frowned, and her lips quirked. She knew I was hiding something. But it was only because I didn’t want to ruin her big night or the excitement of planning her wedding.

“You owe me a girls’ night,” she said, picking up the plate full of appetizers. “We haven’t done that in a while. Then you’re going to tell me everything.”

“Deal.”

We stood there chatting and munching appetizers until Coby appeared in the doorway, beckoning Ky with a finger and a naughty smile. With a girlish giggle, she ditched the appetizers on the table and disappeared outside with him.

After another glass of whiskey, I gravitated toward the patio door. The heavy energy of so many wolves drew me to the backyard where a few people were abandoning clothes and human form in favor of being furry on four legs.

  Ky and Coby stood by the fire pit. He had his arms around her from behind, and her head rested on his chest. The orange glow of the flames lit up her smile. They looked great together.

Watching the wolves shift was breathtaking. One by one, they ceased eating, laughing and chatting to embrace the change. Graceful and smooth, every one of them, as they descended to the grass on all fours. It was a fast, fluid shift that encompassed every reformation of the body but much too fast for the eye to follow. The human to wolf visual was enchanting.

“Do you want to join them?” Shaz approached with a wild glint in his eyes. He followed my gaze, looking out at the pack that was now his. “It’s been a while since we’ve all been together like this.”

That was true. There’d been a time when we had run together on a regular basis, especially on full moons. Now I ran alone more often than not. “Yes, I do. Can you believe I’m almost afraid to be here with them?” I laughed bitterly. “They were right to kick me out. I’m not one of them anymore.”

Shaz turned me to face him. With a finger beneath my chin, he forced me to meet his eyes. “They were never right to kick you out. You led them, protected them. You helped them to live the comfortable life they have here. When they should have supported you, they abandoned you. They don’t deserve to have you lead them.”

The intensity in his gaze rocked me. There was such vehemence in his words. A spark of anger lit up his brilliant eyes, and I watched as they bled to wolf.

“I don’t deserve you,” I said softly.

“You know there’s no way in hell they would have pulled that shit if I’d been around to put a stop to it. Things have changed so much since Raoul died.” Shaz stared longingly out the window to the field and forest beyond Kylarai’s backyard.

It had been very different when Raoul led the pack. He was a strong leader who was always willing to do what was best for the wolves in his pack. Except for me, I guess. Our relationship had been warped by the history he’d shared with my mother. Too bad I hadn’t known that until after he died.

In the year or more since his passing, I had changed and so had the town wolves. They knew I was bonded to a vampire, one they all saw as a threat. Being spurned by them had stung, but ultimately, it had meant very little. They didn’t really know a damn thing about me.

“Let’s go. I’ve been waiting impatiently for this all day.” Shaz led me outside, down the patio steps to the grass that was beginning to yellow with the promise of summer’s end.

A smile tugged at my lips as a memory surfaced. Shaz and Arys had really gone at it out here. While beating the hell out of one another, they’d torn the wooden railing off in a tumble down the stairs.

Noticing my reminiscent expression, Shaz chuckled. “I’d like to think I would have won that fight. If Kylarai hadn’t broken it up.”

“You guys have come a long way,” I replied. “I’m impressed.”

“Yeah, well…there’s a lot you don’t see.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

He used disrobing as a means of distraction. “Nothing at all.”

Slowly, Shaz peeled off his t-shirt and hung it on the railing. He’d bulked up during his extended time as wolf in the mountains. His firm physique rippled with hard muscles that demanded my attention. It was impossible to resist running my hands over his chest, down his stomach.

“Hey, guys, save it for the forest,” Kylarai called from across the yard. “No hanky-panky in the yard.”

“You heard the lady,” Shaz said, playfully pushing me away. “Hands off.”

When he dropped his pants next, I was in a hurry to join him. I disrobed fast, feeling the exhilarating rush of my wolf rising to the surface.

“Are you coming?” I asked Ky and Coby, noting that everyone else had made their way across the field toward the tree line.

“Sure,” Coby said with a mischievous grin. “We’ll be right behind you.”

My hungry gaze wandered over Shaz. My wolf couldn’t have been happier to be there with her mate. Something had changed in him while he was away. It was more than merely his physique. There was a new understanding in him and a newfound aggression that was courageous but not careless.

I knew damn well that he and Arys discussed me when I was not around. I couldn’t fault them for it either. Still, I wondered what it was that initiated the change in Shaz.

Before I could reach for him again, Shaz darted away and dropped to his knees, becoming wolf before touching the ground. He playfully nipped at my ankles and smacked me with his tail.

“I’ll give you a head start,” I said, nodding toward the tree line.

He didn’t have to be told twice. Turning tail, he fled from the yard and into the night. It was an old game for us, racing to a particular tree on the edge of the forest. I was the reigning champion. It had been a long time since we’d raced and just been wolf with the others.

Embracing the change was like opening a floodgate. The wolf rose up, bursting forth, freed from its human prison. My body reknit and reformed, a sensation that hurt for just a second before it was replaced by the satisfying release, like that of having a good stretch.

Leaving Coby and Ky behind, I raced after the shock of white fur in the distance. No, I could most definitely never live in Las Vegas. The desert may have been the home of my vampiric origins, but it was foreign land to my wolf. First and foremost, I would always be wolf. The black onyx amulet hung around my neck, bouncing gently against my chest as I ran. Brogan had said to wear it, and I feared taking it off for even a minute.

Shaz was bigger and faster, but he didn’t have my desire to win. The dirt kicked up beneath my feet as I flew across the field with the forest in my sights. Running on two legs never felt as good or as natural since I’d become wolf. This was what I was meant to be. I would not lose it. I caught up to Shaz easily and was ready to overtake him. Instead, I hung back and let him have the win.

He turned to me with accusation in his eyes. Then he jumped on me, knocking me to the ground beneath of flurry of playful bites and nips. He knew I had let him win.

Running in the forest always gave me this deep-seated longing, this need to be there always. And like other times when the vampire world had become too much, I considered staying there among the trees, with those who called the forest home.