Fraternizing (55 page)

“Thank you, First
Sergeant.”

“As for Pfc.
Bennett, her orders have already been cancelled, and she will be reassigned
here. We will need her for the investigation into the sexual harassment as well
as the assault.”

His eyes lowered
as the walls came closing in, encasing us in the small bubble that held
trapped, stale air. He was calculating whatever he wanted to say next, and my
breathing picked up, anxiously awaiting the venom that was sure to come spewing
from his mouth.

“As far as the
investigation into the circumstances of last night, some new revelations have
come to light, and I am here to put you on fucking notice.” His mouth curled,
almost like a disgusted sneer. “I knew there was something up when I saw Pfc.
Bennett by your office door a couple of days ago, but I didn’t follow through. Shame
on me.”

His jaw hitched,
clenching his teeth his teeth in the process. “So I am going to ask you one
fucking time, and one fucking time only. Is there anything you want to go ahead
and tell me before I blow this shit out of the water?”

I sat stoic,
trying to remain calm and
level headed
. There was no
way I wanted to sit here and admit to First Sergeant that I had committed the
ultimate sin as an instructor, but the longer he stared at me…into me… into my
soul, I felt compelled to give him what he wanted.

A flash of
clarity swept through me, putting Cassie back in the forefront and remembering
that unleashing all of my indiscretions would put her on the chopping block,
and her
well-being
meant more to me than my own. So
rather than allow him to force a confession out of me, I stuck to my original
game plan, even though he was making me sweat with whatever it was he already
knew.

He stared at me,
his face growing more rigid by the second and fixing into a tight scowl. He
finally made a move, wiping his mouth before speaking again.

“You want to play
hard ass, Cruz? Go right ahead, but after digging, and speaking to those around
you both, your fucking secret is out in the open, and I am going to drag your
ass down as far as I can take you.”

His voice went
lower, mixed with a deadly concoction of disgust and malice. “You’re a
motherfucking predator, using your position of authority to prey on students. I’m
going to make a fucking example out of you, and when I’m done you’ll wish you
had exercised a little more restraint with your extra-curricular activities.”

He sat red-faced,
glaring at me.

My heart was
beating so fast I thought it might explode. As badly as I wanted to play it
off, I knew what the aftermath would be, and as much as I had prepared myself
for it, I hadn’t prepared myself enough. Sweat began coating my brow, my hands,
my
entire body.
 
My breathing labored, crushing my chest
as I tried to hold it in. He was looking for a moment of weakness and, even
though it was oozing through me, I wasn’t about to give it to him.

My ego had taken
a beaten while
my nerves were being severed by the sharp
tongue lashing insults at me
. A predator I was not, but how was I going
to plead my case with him? I wasn’t sure exactly what he had on me, but from
where I was standing, he had enough. Now, I just had to keep calm and make him
do the excess legwork to actually prove all of it.

I prayed he
wouldn’t be able to do it.

I hadn’t heard
him say anything about punishing Cassie, so I sat still, giving nothing away in
expression, further pissing him off.

“You’ve got
nothing to fucking say for yourself, Devil Dog?”

 
My silence had sent him tumbling over the
edge. He was shouting, and the veins bulging out of his neck looked like they
would burst and spew anger all over me. He slammed both of his hands down on
the desk, leaning over and bringing his face inches from mine.

“You were our
goddamned NCO of the Quarter, our most highly respected instructor, and a
leader for your peers. You’ve turned into nothing more than another fucking
idiot who can’t keep his fucking dick in his pants. I’m going to take this shit
as far as I can take it, hopefully setting up your court martial right
alongside Allen’s. You’re two peas in the same motherfucking pod.”

That comment hit
at my psyche, causing my anger to flare up.

“With all due
respect, First Sergeant, I am nothing like Allen. I don’t prey on those weaker
than me.” If I had lost my right mind, I would have gone off on his ass for the
comparison, but he was still my superior and I was still expected to show him
respect.

So I showed it,
in the least amount possible.

My response must
have set him off because he took his big, burly hands and grabbed me by the
collar of my t-shirt, pulling my face up to his where our noses were touching. The
hot, foul breath intruding my senses made me want to pull away, but I couldn’t.
He had me strong and tight, strengthening his grip as he began to speak.

“You listen to
me, and you god damn listen well. We are not here to fuck our
students,
we are here to teach them. What happened to your
integrity as a Marine? What happened to your belief in the eagle, globe, and
anchor? You set the precedent as lead instructor, and the rest of them are
watching you, thinking they can get away with shit like you have.”

Spit was flying
from his mouth, hitting my face like a rain shower. I tried hard to hold
strong… to not blink… to not give any piece of satisfaction.

 
“It’s too bad Pfc. Bennett was attacked
because you almost got away with this shit. You hide in the shadows, pretending
to be something you are not. Well let me tell you something, Sergeant. You
won’t be hearing that title before your name when I get through with you. You
won’t be seeing that promotion you’re in line for either. You are a disgrace
to me, this unit, and the rest of the fucking Marine Corps
. You’re
as sloppy as a fucking civilian, and in my eyes, beneath one. Now get the fuck
out of my office before I go ape shit on your ass and become unprofessional.”

He let me go,
forcefully pushing me away as he did so. He was fire breathing mad, an anger
that I had never seen on his face before. My insides were a blended mess. He
had me, almost, if not completely. His job was to find concrete evidence to
make his claims stick, and I sat there, giving nothing away even though the
overwhelming desire to want to spew it all over his desk, like vomit from deep
down inside of me was banging on the door—begging to be let out.

While, on the
outside, I was calm and collected, my insides were on full panic mode. My
throat felt like a spike strip had been yanked up and down, drawing blood and
leaving me with the inability to swallow, even though saliva was beginning to
build up like a flood.

“I am glad to
still find honesty and integrity amongst those around you—that you
haven’t tainted them with your affair.” He took a long, deep breath, rubbing
his hand down his face. His eyes went into that dark, sinister form that I was
becoming well acquainted with before speaking again.

“This shit makes
me look bad, and when I look bad, I’m going to make you look worse, you
understand that?”

“Yes, First
Sergeant,” I replied, looking straight ahead, not giving him any sort of satisfaction.

He studied me for
a minute,
then
looked back down to his notepad.

“Get the fuck out
of my office, Marine,” he growled, sitting back down in his chair.

“Yes, First
Sergeant,” I replied, showing no signs of weakness where he was concerned. I
still hadn’t heard anything about Cassie, so as far as I was concerned, I was
leaving pretty much the same way that I went in, only I needed to gather myself
and put my insides back together. He had fucking fried them, and now he had me
worried about
who
in our circles went further than
necessary and spilled everything. No longer was I worried—I was angry.

 
Completely fucking angry.

I walked out of
his office, sweating a bit but thankful that I was waiting on news that would
destroy Cassie, but never came. I rushed off to my truck, headed back to the
base hospital, ready to spend the remaining days with Cassie until the hammer
would come down hard and heavy over my head. It would be a miracle if he didn’t
come after me with a rope to string me from a fucking tree by my balls.

One thing in
particular stood out from First Sergeant’s ass chewing, and that was the fact
the he mentioned a couple of times that the people closest to us were willing
to talk. It had put me on high alert. Not because I was afraid of whatever they
had to say—it seemed Cassie and I were out in the open—but because
I had to question their loyalty. And loyalty meant too fucking much to me to
let this shit slip through the cracks.

I walked up to
Cassie’s room, finding Dalton sitting in the chair next to her bed, looking
through a magazine with her. They both looked up and met my glaring eyes. Had
this motherfucker run his mouth a bit too much? Was he really the loyal friend
that she had entrusted him to be? I couldn’t be sure.

They both
looked at me, eyes wide open, faces full of worry.

“Are you okay?”
Cassie asked, closing the magazine and setting it down on her lap. “How did it
go?”

“I’d prefer to
speak to you in private,” I lowly muttered, putting a heightened level of
bitterness in my words to let Dalton know that he wasn’t welcomed.

He stood, kissing
the top of Cassie’s head, then left the room, trying to avoid me altogether. We
watched him leave the room,
then
she turned to me,
those sparkling green eyes full of worry, maybe even confusion.

“What happened?”

“Everything that
I thought would happen. I’m a fucking predator, and I need to be taken down.” Tears
sprang to life in her eyes and rolled down her face. “There is nothing to worry
about, Cassie. I sealed my fate from the day I pursued you, so this is no
fucking shock for me.”

She sniffled a
couple of times, trying to blink away newly formed tears.

“What is a
fucking shock to me is that someone, or a few someone’s around us, opened their
fucking mouths and gave away quite a bit.”

“You think it was
Dalton?”

“I don’t know who
the fuck it was. It could have been him—“

“Or it could have
been Castillo or Jensen,” she quickly threw in, trying to take the heat off of
her friend. I wasn’t convinced. I wasn’t sure of anyone and their motives anymore.

“Look, we don’t
know anything, Alex. I highly doubt Dalton would have given more away.”

I rubbed my hands
over my head, feeling the growing frustration beginning to overcome me, and I
was not about to lose my shit in this hospital room where she was supposed to
be resting.

I took her hand
in mine, hoping the warmth of her skin would make me remember that, right now
she was my only focus.

“And hey, at
least I don’t have to go to North Carolina,” she said, smiling her bright and
vibrant smile.

“I know. I’m
fucking over the moon about that. I guess something good came out of all of
this bullshit.”

“Yeah,
something.”

“I know something
else that would be even better.”

“What’s that,”
she asked, looking absolutely confused.

“If you’d marry
me.”

Her mouth dropped
and her breath hitched. I smiled at her, feeling like I had just hit the
lottery. There was no reason to be separated. She was who I wanted, what I
needed, and quickly into our relationship or not, I wanted her.

“Yesterday did a
few things to me. It showed me that I could have lost you, and since I didn’t,
I don’t want to go another day without having you as mine in every way that I
can imagine.”

“But Alex, we’ve
only been together a short time.” She stopped, running her hand over her face
and sighing loudly. “We’ll just be another military couple, getting married on
a whim—“

“We will never be
just another fucking military couple. You mean more to me than any woman that I
have ever been with. You’ve opened my eyes and brought the human side back into
my robotic soul. You’ve showed me what it’s like to love and love with all
you’ve got, and I know, for a short time or a lifetime, that you are exactly
who I want carrying around my last name.”

Another tear
dropped from her eye as her lips formed into a coy smile.

“You need to know
that through this entire ordeal I tried to fight you off, but I couldn’t do it.
And if it were just about the fucking, I would have let you go a long time ago.
I couldn’t get you out of my system, no matter how extreme I tried to go. You’re
everything I have ever wanted, Cassie Bennett, my Blondie, mi mariposa. The
road is going to be rough from here on out, but I want you riding the bumps
with me.”