Frailty: The Darkshine (20 page)

He looked at his mother—the evil and vile bitch that she was. She narrowed her gaze at him and he could see her mind working, could practically hear her thoughts about Helina and what was really going on between them. Her mouth curved in a wicked smile and he turned away. He knew that no matter what happened he couldn’t be selfish, couldn’t put Helina in danger because of what he wanted, even if he had to be mated to the devil herself.

“I don’t mean to intrude, my lord, but maybe I should get you something else to drink?”

He looked down at Lucie and purposely took a long swig of the whiskey. His vision was already blurred from the alcohol, her face going in and out of focus. He balanced the bottle on his leg and smiled at her, although it was completely forced.

“No thank you, Lucie. Tonight I plan on getting shit faced.” She didn’t return the smile, just looked at him as he drank again.

“When are you going to admit the truth? When are you going to see what’s right in front of you?”

He turned a surprised look at Lucie, but she was already making her way through the crowd. He shook his head and wondered if he had actually heard her correctly. Lucie had always been a soft-spoken DarkShine female, never one to express her opinion. Had she realized how much he cared for Helina? Was she telling him to go after what he wanted?

He shook his head again, the hazy buzz of liquor making his thoughts jumbled. He must have imagined her saying that, his own mind creating the things he wanted to hear. He remembered how Ryce had taken Helina away, had put his hands on her. He had wanted to rip Ryce away from what was his… his female… his mate. It took a control he hadn’t known he possessed to not go to Ryce and tear him apart.

He got up, his movements uncoordinated as he made his way off the podium and toward his quarters. He smiled and said his pardons to the guests that tried to talk to him. He expected his mother to say something about his departure, but maybe since he had now chosen an acceptable mate, she didn’t care what he did. He was thankful nonetheless.

He walked up the stairs, stumbling over a few as he finally stopped in front of his bedroom door and gripped the doorknob. He shut the door behind him, his knees giving out, his body hitting the floor. He sat there, his whiskey bottle in hand as the darkness consumed him. He closed his eyes, his thoughts only on one thing, one person. He didn’t even try to hold in the painful tears that were at the brink of spilling. He’d let Helina down, turned her away when she was pleading with him to tell her how much he loved her.

He’d let her down.

He dropped his head, his half-empty bottle dropping to the floor, the amber liquid moving across the hardwood. He opened his eyes and watched the whiskey snake its way across the floor, the darkness of the room making it look like blood spilling.

“You play beautifully,
Helina.”

She stopped crying and looked up to see Ryce leaning against the door frame. He still had his tux on, the first few top buttons undone on his crisp white shirt. She wiped her face and sat up straighter, a slight twinge of embarrassment flooding her. “Thank you.” There was a beat of silence and she cleared her throat. “To be honest, I’m pretty tired. Could you just take me back to the cabin?”

He pushed off the frame and walked toward her. He ran his fingers along the smooth top of the baby grand. “I can’t take you back there.”

She looked at him, not even shock resonating inside of her. Her mind was blank, her emotion stunted because of the deep, dark hole in her heart. “Why?”

“It really isn’t safe there anymore. Someone might want to take it upon themselves to dispose of you.”

“It really doesn’t matter anymore, Ryce. I have nothing left. My sister is dead and Gaijryc wants nothing to do with me.” She noticed how Ryce flinched.

“You know he didn’t mean any of those things he said.”

“It doesn’t matter if he meant them or not, Ryce. They were said and his intentions were clear. He only loved me for those stolen moments we had. It’s clear he doesn’t want me.” She shrugged and stood. “So where am I?” She walked away from the piano and sat on the leather couch, wanting nothing more than to get out of the dress she wore. Ryce walked over to the piano and sat down. He looked down at the keys for so long she wondered what he was thinking. He started to play a soft song, the music sounding tragic and beautiful.

When the song was done, he sat there in silence and turned his gaze to her. “That was beautiful. Who is the composer?”

He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I am.” He didn’t say it arrogantly, but more like his heart had been ripped from his chest. “I wrote it for someone a long time ago, someone who was very special to me.”

They stared at each other and Helina wanted to comfort him as he was doing to her. “Would you like to talk about it?” She didn’t elaborate on what she meant. It was clear from his expression that he knew.

He looked so torn, so hurt just thinking about it. She didn’t think anyone had ever given him the time to talk about his problems, to let go of the pain he was harboring inside. She pushed her pain aside, knowing that if one good thing could come out of it, it would be getting rid of past demons Ryce harbored. He looked at her and sighed.

“I have only spoken about this one other time.”

She smiled at him and urged him to open up to her.

“I loved a human once. She was the most important thing to me. Everything I did, I did it to please her, to let her know how much she meant to me. She had started out being a pet, a human female that I had wanted—wanted to drink from and wanted to fuck.” He stopped and looked at her, as if his crudeness had somehow offended her. She ushered him to continue. “I grew to love her, so very much. She was so gentle, so feminine. I wanted to mate her, wanted her to walk by my side for the rest of our lives. She ended up becoming pregnant. It was the happiest day of my existence. The thing is, though—” He took another deep breath and stood. “It is forbidden to mate a human. It is a death sentence if one has a child from us. It has been that way for as long as I have been living and I have never disputed the old ways. I had planned on running with her, planned on turning her before we found out she was pregnant, but it is far too dangerous changing her while she was carrying my child.”

He stopped talking and looked out the window at the dark world before him. Helina could see his reflection, could see his glossy eyes and knew what was coming next was the tragedy. “Come over here, Ryce.” She patted the seat next to her and watched as surprise flickered in his features. She patted the seat again and waited for him to sit. When he finally did, she turned in her seat, showing him that her full attention was on him.

“I went away on a mission, the last mission I was going to attend because we planned on leaving. When I returned, I went straight to our room, ready to leave right then and there. I smelled the blood before I even reached the landing. The bed had been covered in blood, so much that I actually became sick. The room smelled of her, smelled of her sweet lavender scent, but was now void of the life she once held.”

He didn’t say anything else and Helina could see the struggle inside of him. She moved closer to him, could see his fists clenched and his jaw tight. “Oh, Ryce, I’m so very sorry.” She laid her hand on his thigh, the muscle beneath strong and unyielding. He looked up at her. There were so many emotions raging war inside of him. “What happened after that?”

He took a long, steadying breath. “They had prepared her body for burial while I was away, kept her in a gold casket and stored it in the sanctuary until my return. The king and queen didn’t want to show me the body, said it was beyond recognition. She had worn the red silk gown I had given her before my departure. White satin had covered her face. I wanted to see her lovely face, but I didn’t have the strength to pull it away. Her blond curls were just as I had remembered, so soft and vibrant even though her heart no longer beat.”

Helina covered her mouth, sorrow and shock coursing through her. “Who did it?” He looked over at her, his eyes blank and lifeless.

“I don’t know.”

Tears flowed down her cheeks and her own problems were temporarily pushed to the side. She stared at him, his face hard and cold, his eyes unfocused as he was no doubt remembering his past. She placed her hand over his much larger one, hoping to convey what strength she had left. He looked at her hand, his eyebrows knitted together. He lifted his head and stared at her.

“Gaijryc is an idiot for letting you go. You truly are a treasure.”

“I truly am sorry for your loss, Ryce. I can see how much you loved her. What was her name?”

“Seaunna.” His voice was strained, slightly crackling as he said her name.

She gave his hand a squeeze, her heart aching for his loss. Removing her hand, she looked down at the evening gown she still wore. “You wouldn’t happen to have something else for me to wear, would you? This dress is making me feel uncomfortable, and to be honest, I would really just like to go to sleep.”

Helina followed Ryce
up the stairs, her heels clicking against the hardwood. When they reached the landing, he walked to a closed door right in front of them. He opened the door and turned on the light. Helina followed him inside, her eyes taking in every delicate piece of lace and silk that adorned the room. “Is this your room?” She looked at him, her face completely serious. He stared at her, shock reflecting on his features before a smile crossed it. He cleared his throat before stepping out of the room. He came back a moment later with a shirt draped over his arm.

“I’m sorry I don’t have a proper nightgown for you to wear.” He held out the shirt. “This is the only thing I could find.” When she took it he turned to leave. He stopped right before he stepped into the hallway and turned back around. “You aren’t hungry, are you?”

“No, thank you.”

“Okay. I’ll be right next door if you need anything.”

He left the room and shut the door on his way out. Helina stared at the closed door for several moments. Stripping out of the dress, she tossed it over a nearby chair and slipped on the shirt. The shirt was clearly one of Ryce’s, the white cotton falling well past her knees and the sleeves reaching her forearms. She made her way toward the massive yet feminine bed and pulled the blue silk comforter. The sheets were cool and smooth, like butter soft satin. Goosebumps popped along her flesh. Turning the bedside lamp off, she balled herself up, throwing the comforter over her head and immersing herself in total darkness. She was too tried to cry, too tired to do much of anything. All she wanted to do was slip into the dream world where nothing was real and where nothing could touch her.

Desperation

R
yce sat on
the edge of his bed, his elbows on his knees, his shoulders slumped forward. He hadn’t realized how much it would hurt to talk about Seaunna. He could hear Helina’s small heartbeat through the walls and her slow and steady breathing as she drifted off to sleep. He saw Seaunna when he looked at Helina, saw a small and vulnerable human that had once been his love. Helina’s very essence, her very aura reminded him of what he no longer had. He thought about Helina’s sister, about what he done to her. He should have told her the truth, should have told Helina what was really going on, but he couldn’t; he had promised.

He stared at the bare, cream colored wall and scrubbed a hand over his face. He stood and stripped out of his clothes and slipped into his bed naked. He let the darkness envelop him and wash away the memories of his former life.