Fortitude (Heart of Stone)
Read Fortitude (Heart of Stone) Online
Authors: D H Sidebottom
Fortitude
A
Heart of Stone
Novel
By
D
H Sidebottom
Fortitude
Copyright © 2014
By D H Sidebottom
This
book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to actual places, incidents and
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Copyright
© 2014 D H Sidebottom
A huge Heart of
Stone fan and friend
who sadly lost her
life to cancer during the writing of Fortitude.
And to all the
many thousands of people cancer has touched.
My heart is with
you all.
Cancer.
That’s all I need to say to fill us all with horror and
heartache. Just that one word causes so much destruction, not only to the body
but to hearts and souls. It isn’t just an illness, it’s an evil, vile
malevolence that eats away at everything it touches. It debilitates, breaks and
consumes within seconds of touching us.
All of us have been affected by it one way or another,
either through friends or relatives, loved ones or even just colleagues that
mean a great deal to us. And it isn’t just the woman down the road, or ‘Freddy’
we went to school with it affects anymore, it’s moving closer and closer to
each of us. It’s spreading across the globe and seeping into our hearts like a
fog we can’t clear, and yet, we continue to fight, we endure its devastation
and we fight. We battle through it, drive ourselves to reach that little ray of
light at the end of the tunnel.
And that in itself shows us how strong the human race is,
how resilient and brave each of us is. Even in death, even when our loved ones
can no longer join us in that fight, we still carry on without them, striving
to keep their memory alive. And that is how it should be, we fight when they
couldn’t, when they lost their battle, we will one day win the war.
And I very much believe that.
This book has been a very difficult struggle for me. It
has gripped my heart and twisted it until I could feel each drop of blood seep
into my soul, until the tears I wrote through finally took my ability to write,
but I got there in the end, I took Mason and Ava’s hands and I dragged them
through to the bitter end with me.
And now, as we finally say our goodbyes to the most
amazing couple I have adored from the very start, it’s time to hold each
other’s hands and say a small prayer for those who this story is very near the
truth. As we follow The Fox’s struggle through cancer, please bear a thought to
each and every victim out there who has been taken from many loved ones due to
this horrific disease.
And to those who managed to touch the light at the end of
the tunnel and drag themselves through the hell just to reach that goal, I
admire, respect and give each of you a piece of my soul.
You won. You fought and you kicked ass.
Fuck Cancer!
Sometimes, the only way to face the future is to accept the past.
Chapter One
Refusal
Ava
“Because I have cancer.”
The towel dropped from his grip. His knees buckled and he
dropped to his knees before me. I watched him fight to control the cry that
left him when I uttered the words that destroyed him.
“I’m dying, Mason.”
He stared at me, confusion and disbelief contorting his
beautiful face. I was surprisingly numb, I just stood staring back at him as he
looked up at me. The room was so silent I could actually hear Greg snoring in
the bedroom next door, the air sweeping in and out of Mason’s nose and the
small gurgle my stomach made like clockwork every morning.
“Say something.”
He blinked at me, his legs now spread to the side of him
as he sat on his hip. He dropped his gaze to my toes, his eyes unfocused but
watery. “When did you find out?”
His voice was mechanical, almost robotic and I gulped at
the lack of emotion. “Three days ago, the day before Greg’s funeral.”
He nodded slowly but refused to look at me. “Where?”
“Where?”
“Where is it?” He snapped at me. “On you,
in
you,
where?”
“They’re umm, not too sure. Maybe… maybe everywhere.”
“Nah, where did it start? Your liver, your breast, in
your stomach? Where?
WHERE?”
I jolted and fought back the tears that I knew would
devastate me. I knew he wasn’t meaning to be cruel but his anger was too much
to bear on top of it. “My breast.”
He finally looked up at me and narrowed his eyes. “No,
you’re lying. I haven’t felt anything.”
“It’s more under my arm, just a tiny one.”
“Well a tiny one is good, right? Means it isn’t too far
on, so you’ll be okay.”
“Mason…”
“They can do wonderful things now, baby.” He shot to his
feet, his face now animated and his eyes back to life.
“Mason, it didn’t start in my breast. I just found the
lump there but they think that may be a secondary site.”
He shrugged and smiled happily, “Ahh, you’ll be okay.
Right, breakfast.”
I stared at the closed door for a long time when he shut
it behind him. I didn’t know what to do. I had known Mason would need more
support than I would to deal with it, but he wasn’t dealing with it at all. He
was denying it. I needed him to be strong for me, I needed his determination
and grit to get me through this.
I needed him to accept I was going to die.
***
I stood watching him from the kitchen door as he whipped
the pancake batter. His firm muscular back rippled under the soft grey cotton
t-shirt he always wore with his bed shorts. His arms swelled with the force of
his beating as his legs visibly shook.
“Mason.”
He ladled a spoonful of the batter and poured it into the
smoking pan, his long fingers curling around the handle as he tilted it left,
right and then around, spreading it evenly and thinly. I was mesmerised by the
action, my eyes following each shift and transfer of the mixture around the
skillet.
“Mason, please.”
I squeezed my eyes shut as the frying pan flew across the
room. It and half cooked pancake bounced off one of Courtney’s pristine glass
cupboard doors, shattering the smoked glass and splintering the surrounding
white wood. The pan skidded across the tiled floor until it came to rest under
the sleek glass table to one side of the room.
My eyes flew open when my back hit the fridge, the
contents of it rattling furiously behind me as jars and bottles fell and
crashed against other items. Mason’s mouth collapsed over mine. His tears wet
my lips, the salty liquid tingling my tongue as his fingers clawed at my vest
until the material was crushed between his fists. His kiss was angry yet full
of terror and heartache as a small sob ripped up his throat and I swallowed it
from him, urgently trying to engulf his pain with it.
My own fists clawed at him as I splintered inside. “I
won’t let you do this,” he hissed hurtfully at me as a hand yanked my hair and
one cupped my chin harshly. “You won’t leave me, ever. You promised me Ava, you
fucking promised you would stay with me.”
“Mason…”
“No.” He swiped desperately at his tears. “No.” He pushed
back away from me and shook his head. “No.” That was all he said as he turned
from me and walked out of the back door.
I stood immobile and silent as I listened to his car
speed off the gravel driveway and disappear. He wasn’t going to let me die. He
would fight with the devil to stop this, either that or he’d sell his soul to
Satan himself for the chance to go with me.
He would never let me go, even in death.
Repetition
Mason
Nirvana hit five minutes after the snow tickled the back
of my throat. My head flopped back against the back of the chair as my veins
substantially relaxed and sighed in relief. “Fuck, yes.”
The blonde tart who hadn’t taken her eyes off me since
I’d walked in, tilted her head to one side and studied me as my eyelashes
slowly flickered in front of my vision. I was awestruck by how brown they were,
they seemed to thicken with each slow blink until they tangibly swept the air
away in front of me.
Blondie’s lips twisted until her sultry smile fascinated
me. She was quite pretty, for a blonde anyway. Her tits looked plump and firm,
her waist rounded out to sumptuous hips and her legs were long and slender, the
short skirt she was wearing displaying the lean length of them openly. She
reminded me of someone, and it wasn’t until she licked her lips that I realised
it was Grace.
I pointed a finger at her as though thanking her for
reminding me and pulled my phone from my pocket. The contacts blurred but I
found who I needed and connected the call, cringing at the time. He wouldn’t be
best pleased but whatever.
“What the hell, Mase?” He growled as he answered. His
voice was full of sleep but I shrugged.
“Ava has cancer and she needs you.” He was silent for a
moment and I chuckled, “Yeah, shit huh?”
“Mason?”
“Mmm,” I murmured as Blondie stood up and started swaying
across the room towards me. I smiled at her before I dropped my eyes to watch
the rhythm of her hips swing, her little pink skirt brushing over the top of
her thighs.
“Please tell me you’re not high and that you are actually
just drunk.”
“Ummm, no. I’m high.” I laughed at his gasp, “And fuck if
it doesn’t feel good.”
“Jesus Christ.” He groaned and I narrowed my eyes on the
blonde slut when she sat beside me and ran one of her long claws along my arm.
“Why are you in your pyjamas?” She asked with a humorous
expression.
“Who the fuck is that?” Kade barked at me.
“No idea, she’s quite pretty though.”
“Mason, listen to me.” I could hear the restraint in his
voice. I shivered when the tarts nail drew across my jawline. “You touch that
bitch,” he continued, “and I swear to god I will personally hurt you.”
“Touch the bitch?” I lifted an eyebrow at
The bitch
as if she could hear Kade and she would take offence to his derogatory term. “Why
would I touch her?”
“Where’s Ava?”
“Umm, at home I think. I dunno, I don’t want her. You can
have her if you want.” As the words left me they cracked the ice forming around
my heart but it soon solidified again, pushing the hurt back once again to where
it was safe.
“What the fuck did you just say?”
He sounded mad but I would have thought he’d have been
happy at my offer. After all, I was giving him something he’d wanted for over
twenty years. “Ava, you still love her don’t you. Well, you can have her. It’s
up to you though, I’ll leave it with you. I’m off, catch you later.”
“Maso…”
I brushed off the blonde’s hands as I pushed out of the
chair. “Why are you touching me? I’m broken love, all of me. You’d be better
off fucking someone who gives a shit.”
She stared at me with her pouty lips parted. I just
shrugged and walked off.
***
“Baby,” I whispered as I slid in behind Ava. “Ava?”
“Mason?” she murmured as she twisted round to face me in
bed. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, her nose was glowing and red and her
hair was stuck to her face in clumps from where she’d been sweating.
“You look like shit, baby.”
Her eyes closed slowly then sadness overpowered her when
she opened them and looked at me. “You’re stoned.”