Forsaking All Others (39 page)

“Come here, Missy,” I said, beckoning, and she crawled over to my side. Each girl clutched her favorite doll, treasures their papa had brought home to them years ago, and I included their names as I said a prayer for our safe journey. By the time I finished my prayer, we were at the crest of the hill, and I looked out over the tailgate to see one man, his wives, and their children gathered in front of what was once my home. We’d spent one hour together living as a family built of false prophecy, and now my daughters and I served as anchors for each other, leaving them behind. Silently, as I held my girls, I begged God for two things: that he would change Nathan’s heart, and that he would keep mine strong. One prayer would be repeated and answered in that moment, and in every moment, in every mile that followed.

The other, I would not repeat again.

* * *

We arrived in Salt Lake City well after dark. By then the girls were sound asleep against me. Mr. Bostwick drove capably on, but when we did come to a stop, I noticed he was at least as tired as either of the children he peeled away from me.

“Where are we staying?” The effort of getting down from the wagon bed without waking Lottie gave me little chance to take in our surroundings.

“This is Aunt Rachel’s house.” Melissa spoke through a yawn, and she stood sleepily, unsteady on her feet.

“Rachel’s?” I was on the ground now too, Lottie heavy against my shoulder as I turned to verify. Sure enough, the dark, rambling house beckoned, looking as welcoming as a cave.

“Our Mr. Fox had a key,” Mr. Bostwick said, producing said object from his vest pocket. He inserted it into the lock and opened the door to the cold, damp room.

Melissa was able to walk in under her own power, and my aching back sang in relief as I laid Lottie on the sofa barely discernible under a white sheet. Of the three sofas that once furnished this room, only this one remained.

Mr. Bostwick followed us into the house. “It will be my residence for the time being, until I can find something more suitable.”

This was a revelation I had not expected, and I sent Melissa—obviously in dire need—out to the privy so he and I could discuss it in private.

“You’re not coming with us tomorrow?”

“I must stay until your case is settled, and I have a feeling there might be other women in this city who will need my help. It’s a strange phenomenon indeed when a lawyer is a welcome resident. I feel I must take advantage of the situation.”

Propriety aside, I planted a kiss on his square cheek. “We’ll miss you, Mr. Bostwick. We all—Mama especially—have grown quite fond of you.”

“And I as well,” he said, stepping away from my embrace and making a show of taking an envelope from his breast pocket. “Will you give this letter to your mother? And tell her you both may look for me at summer’s end, when I will no longer need your legal matters to lend an excuse for me to call.”

I noted the strong, bold hand on the front of the envelope:
Mrs. Arlen Deardon (Ruth)
. The sight of it called to mind an unfulfilled promise.

“Will you post a letter for me as well? After we leave?”

“I’d be honored. For our young colonel?” He held out his hand as if expecting me to hand it over on the spot.

“Yes,” I said, though not indulging his assumption. “I’ll write it tonight and leave it on the foyer table.” Another of the few furnishings that had been spared uprooting.

“Well then—” he rocked back on his heels—“it has been a long day, and I shall leave you to settle yourselves to sleep.”

Only two of the rooms upstairs still had serviceable beds. Mr. Bostwick chose one, and I tucked Lottie and Melissa together in the other one, planning to squeeze myself between them later.

One would think that, given the day, I would have taken myself fast asleep. Instead, I took a candle and stole downstairs to Rachel’s pretty writing desk—much more ornate than my own back home—and secured the light in a sconce on the wall.

Not sure if she would have left such supplies behind, I was relieved to find the desk well stocked with stationery and envelopes, pen and ink. Upon bringing it to the light, I noticed the stationery bore Rachel’s monogram—an ornate
R
nestled within a beehive, surrounded by green vines. I thought at first to make a small note to identify myself, explaining the circumstances under which I came to write this letter on such a page, but abandoned the idea. After so many letters, Colonel Brandon was sure to recognize my handwriting, and the story itself could wait for another time, should such a time ever come.

The ink had settled within its small jar, and it took a vigorous shaking to bring it to any useful form. Even so, my first few attempts created nothing more than blotches upon the page, and I knew I would have to choose my words carefully.

I ran my hand over the page, praying that God would take my hand and guide it. Then, as he has surely answered every prayer I’ve uttered since the first, he proved himself mighty and true again.

All my convictions and all my misgivings remained in the recesses of my mind, just as many of my words remained lost in the shadow of the hand that wrote them. I could only trust my years of practice with a pen to know that each was borne upon the page in its intended form. Minutes later, I took my hand away, and my message stood firm on the ivory page.

My daughters have been restored to me.

Our family will be reunited soon.

All is well.

By the grace of God, I remain,

Camilla

A Conversation with the Author

How did the idea for the Sister Wife series come to you?

I knew I wanted to write a love story, but not a romance. The character of Nathan came to me fully formed—this deeply passionate, wounded, charismatic, charming man. Then, having grown up in Utah, I knew that Christianity played almost no role in the early history of the state, so I needed Camilla to be a woman seduced away from not only her family but also her Lord. In fact, I saw the understanding and worship of God as being almost a third element in a love triangle. I wanted Nathan and Camilla to love each other as much as they loved God.

You seem to know a lot about the Mormon faith and community. How did you research this story?

I lived in Utah as a child, and my husband is an excommunicated Mormon who came to know Jesus as his Savior when he was in high school, so I had a lot of anecdotal experiences to pull from. But to get a real feel for the history, I spent some time in Salt Lake City. The pioneer women’s museum there is a treasure trove of artifacts, all the little household trinkets that made up a woman’s life. The blue lamp is just one of the artifacts I fell in love with.

I think what really struck me—and this is something I’ve shared and confirmed with other Christians—is the spirit of Temple Square in Salt Lake City. The city is beautiful and meticulously maintained, but there is an oppressive air. It’s quiet, but not serene. Something about that huge, white temple topped with a golden angel is unsettling.

I also spent a lot of time browsing websites and discussion boards reading posts by ex-Mormons. They gave me a clearer understanding not so much about why people join the church, but why they stay and why they leave. It’s heartbreaking, the stories of bitterness and betrayal, even more so seeing how so many leave the Mormon faith with a mistrust of God and religion in general. I wanted to capture that sense of a desperate need for love and acceptance in Nathan’s character. There are many anonymous people out there who were so helpful in my efforts to capture both Nathan’s fervor and Rachel’s just-beneath-the-surface disdain.

The first book in the series,
For Time and Eternity
, had an interesting ending. What made you decide to end the story that way? How have readers responded?

It wasn’t an easy decision. Wait, I take that back. In my mind, even before I wrote the first word, I knew I would end the story with Camilla in a snowstorm. Trade sunshine for snow, and it was, in many ways, a total rip-off of Dickens’s conclusion to
A Tale of Two Cities
. Read it closely, and there are hints and visions that all will be well for Camilla and her children. This ending leaves us with the fundamental conflict in Camilla’s life resolved: She has restored her faith in Jesus Christ. She is completely given over to his direction, will, and protection. Given that, what could possibly go wrong?

How have readers responded? With, um, enthusiasm. Total strangers have pleaded for advance copies of the second book, and friends have been a little threatening, to tell you the truth. Not a week went by that I didn’t get an e-mail from a reader wondering what was going to happen to Camilla—and I loved it! I felt such a huge responsibility not to let anybody down.

Why did you decide to make the story into a two-book series?

I knew Camilla’s story would fill more than one book. It would cover both her journey back to the Lord and her journey to save her family—and I didn’t want to shortchange either of those. I think sometimes in Christian fiction we oversimplify the process of faith. Too often, it’s the matter of a realization and a prayer, and that’s it. (I’ve been guilty of the same in other books.) But given the alternate theology of the Mormon faith, I knew I needed to be more careful. I felt a responsibility to try to
show
the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Then, once I’d given Camilla a firm foundation of faith, she was free to go on a more rip-roarin’ adventure. I think readers will appreciate having gone through this journey with her, rather than simply taking her Christianity for granted.

Camilla and Nathan are reunited for a short time in this book. Why did you decide to bring them back together?

Frankly, I missed Nathan. Now, normally, I hate it when authors speak of their characters as if they’re real people, but Nathan Fox totally got under my skin. That’s one reason. Also, I wanted the stakes to be a little higher for Camilla in terms of the menace he could be. Finally, the first time she left, she did it with little forethought. I wanted to pose the question of whether she would leave again, having suffered serious consequences for her earlier actions.

The leaders of the Mormon church decide that Camilla must make a “blood atonement.” What does that mean? Was this a common practice in the early Mormon church?

“Blood atonement” simply echoes the fact that, without the shedding of blood, there can be no atonement for sin. Thus, under the law, the Israelites brought animals to sacrifice at the Temple. As Christians, we know that the shed blood of Jesus is the eternal, and final, atonement for our sin. There were those in the early Mormon church who felt that some sins were so egregious that only the shedding of the sinner’s blood could make atonement. Please note that this is
not
the official teaching or practice of the LDS church. It was, as we see in many religions, a practice espoused by extremists. The extent to which it was actually practiced in the early Mormon church is impossible to know.

In the previous book, Rachel tells Camilla that she has to let Nathan take another wife. “You have to. You’re his salvation. Joseph Smith was his savior in life, giving him direction. Your job is to save him in the next one.” What does it mean that she’s his salvation?

This touches on the Mormon concept of celestial rewards. According to their teaching, if Nathan is ever to achieve the highest, godlike, eternal status, he needs to have at least one eternal wife to bear his spiritual children. She is not so much his “salvation” in terms of his eternity, but in terms of the quality of that eternity. I think it’s important to note here that the Mormons believe that women must be “called” into eternity by their husbands, which explains Evangeline’s plight.

Today Mormons are intentionally aligning themselves with evangelical Christians. What similarities in their beliefs enable them to do this? In what crucial ways are their beliefs different from biblical Christianity?

Mormons believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that he died on the cross for our sins and rose again after three days. They love and admire Jesus. They pray in his name. They identify Jesus as a redeemer and savior. But they do not acknowledge that Jesus’ death and resurrection constitute the full completion of our reconciliation and salvation. To the Mormons, this act is incomplete, and true salvation depends not only upon one’s belief in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ as depicted in the Gospels, but also an acceptance and belief in the prophetic writings of Joseph Smith and the practices of the Mormon church.

What was the biggest challenge you faced in researching or writing this series? The greatest reward?

More so than any other project I’ve done, I had to give this one over to God. I knew I had to go beyond the average spiritual content found in most Christian fiction. I tried very hard to represent the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ in contrast with the lies of the Mormon faith without making the books sound like 350-page tracts. It was quite challenging to craft theology into dialogue, to make the deepest questions about salvation relevant to the characters’ relationships. So I hope I pulled it off!

The greatest reward? Honestly, I came away with such a deeper understanding and appreciation for my own salvation. As I wrote about Nathan’s struggle to be “good enough” for God, I felt so loved by my Savior. I realized how wonderful it is to worship a God I cannot fully understand with my finite little mind.

What do you hope readers will take away from these novels?

First, I’d love readers to recognize that, despite any outward appearances, many Mormons are empty, wounded people. As I tried to get inside the head of a Mormon, I spent a lot of time online reading through forums devoted to those who had left the church, and there was so much sadness and bitterness there. I think most Christians approach Mormons in one of two ways: we either avoid any opportunity to witness because doing so is usually fruitless, or we relish the idea of arguing with them. We need to simply love them.

Second, we need to be so rooted in Truth that we can recognize any aberration of the gospel, no matter how subtle. Mormonism and Christianity use largely the same vocabulary; the differences in theological text can seem little more than spin and semantics. We must be wary of works and messages that openly claim to be a “new” way of understanding Scripture.