Forsaken By Shadow (8 page)

Embry looked out the window at the pristine muscle car. “I didn’t think his taste was that good.”

“
Oh it was a piece of shit before I restored it. But it was the only thing I had when I woke up, so I’m kinda sentimental about it. Anyway, I got in touch with the authorities, who were happy to slap a big ‘Solved’ on my missing person’s case. The social worker assigned to me kept assuring me that my memory would come back. Came up with all kinds of theories as to why it didn’t. Nothing was near the truth.”

It wouldn’t be.

He hadn’t mentioned it, but she couldn’t stop herself from asking, “What about your burns?”

“
Funny thing about that actually. Matthias must’ve done something to make them heal faster. When I woke up in the motel, I had seriously charred hands. By the time I made it to the hospital, they were down to blisters.”

“
I’m so sorry, Gage.”

“
I don’t want your apology, Embry. It isn’t your fault. You’re not the one who did this to me. No matter what else happens, you’re the one who dragged me out of the Purgatory of not knowing. No matter what I may have to leave behind of my life in New Orleans, it’s worth
knowing.
Who I am. Where I come from. You don’t know how important that is until you don’t have it. So thank you for that.”

But it was my fault.
The certainty of it settled in her belly, transmuting what little breakfast she’d managed into lead. He certainly wouldn’t be thanking her for anything if he knew. But that was on the list of things she would continue to lie about. She wouldn’t risk her father’s life by telling him the truth.

* * *

“
You are a Shadow Walker, Gage. Whatever it is that makes some people able to tame the shadows, it’s in you, just like it’s in Dad. Traveling through shadow used to be second nature to you. If you knew the layout or had a person in mind as an anchor, you could travel virtually anywhere. You could see in the dark, you could move without sound. Dad trained you so that you could—”

“
I
know
all that! I have all my memories, all the fucking facts. I remember doing it. I just can’t…  I guess I just can’t remember
how
I did it. Or something.” He tunneled his fingers through his hair.
We should have gotten separate rooms.

Embry’s eyes bored into him from where she lay sprawled on one of the beds. He could feel her gaze on him, like twin points of heat on his chest. Her scrutiny—and her lecture—was really fucking with his concentration.

Not that he’d been able to do much on that front since she’d walked into the locker room and back into his life. He was too busy trying not to keel over from the constantly unfurling memories bombarding his brain. Not to mention the effort it was taking to remind himself that what had happened—or not happened—between him and Embry had been over a decade before. Everything about that fabricated date had just been about getting him in place to take the antidote.

She didn’t even look for me
.
Not until I was of use to her.
The thought rattled around his head, banishing whatever vestiges of focus he’d managed to drum up.

Had he misinterpreted everything that had gone on that last night? Had it been some kind of game to her? Or maybe the disastrous confrontation with the other Shadow Walkers had scared her away from any kind of involvement. If the consequences for him had been a total eradication of his memory, the consequences for her for coming after him would probably have been pretty steep. Hell, it wasn’t as if the Council had likely changed much in the last ten years. The consequences would still be brutal if they were caught.

So, better figure this shit out and not get caught.

“
Have you fallen asleep standing up?”

Gage didn’t bother opening his eyes. “I can’t do this with you watching me.”

“
Oh for heaven’s sake, it’s not like you’re taking a piss. Just dematerialize already.” Impatience simmered in Embry’s voice.

He swallowed the irritation, reminding himself that she was anxious about her father and not thinking clearly. Still, it was a stretch to keep his tone even. “I get that, but having you staring at me is just adding more pressure to an already stressful thing. I haven’t done this in ten years.”

“
Well what do you want me to do? Go hide in the bathroom or something?”

“
Why don’t you run to the vending machine, get a couple of drinks to go with the Chinese when it gets here.”

“
And leave you by yourself. What happens if you manage to Walk, and then can’t get back because you have no anchor?”

When he opened his eyes, her arms were crossed and her face was etched with an
I’m making a reasonable argument, aren’t you going to listen to me
expression.

“
I seriously doubt I’m going to manage that in the five minutes it will take you to go to the Coke machine, but it might let me clear my head and get centered.”

She swung her legs off the bed with an exaggerated sigh. “Fine. But if you disappear and can’t find your way back here, I’m going to be beyond pissed.” She shoved one of the keycards into her pocket and snagged her purse.

Gage waited until the door swung shut before releasing a long, shuddering breath. He wouldn’t have long, and he needed to focus.

He turned off the bedside lamp, throwing half the room into shadow. Stepping into the deepest part of it, he shut his eyes again and focused on his breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth. In. Out.

Like riding a bike
, he told himself.

An unfamiliar buzzing started in his head and spread throughout his torso. Was this what dematerializing felt like? He couldn’t remember. Maybe he was just hyperventilating.

Okay, I’ll just try something simple. From one side of the room to the other.

He visualized the pool of dark on the other side of the bureau, willing himself into it. His pulse beat slow and thick in his chest, and instinct demanded that he match his breath to the rhythm. In his mind, he pulled the tendrils of shadow around him like a cloak, wrapping himself from head to foot.

That’s it. That’s it. Now show me the pathway.

The darkness extended, a bridge at the edge of the light. He had only to walk across it… 

Someone pounded on the door, shattering his concentration.

“
Goddamn it Embry, I thought you took your key.” He stepped out of the shadow and toward the door, feeling suddenly exposed in the light as he yanked it open. The additional curses died on his tongue as he took in the punk-haired Asian kid holding the plastic bag of their food.

“
Delivery?” he asked.

“
Yeah,” said Gage, shoving a hand through his hair and trying to readjust his brain.

“
Eighteen thirty seven,” the kid announced.

Gage dug in his wallet for a twenty and a few ones.

“
Hey!”

Gage looked up at the excitement in the kid’s voice.

“
You’re Cade Shepherd!”

He blinked at the kid. It wasn’t the first time he’d been recognized in public, probably wouldn’t be the last. But that life already felt so very far away as to belong to someone else. Still, he tried to muster up a smile. “Yeah.”

“
Oh my God, dude, I just watched you take down Archer on TV last night! That was freaking awesome! And that whole season of
Ultimate Fighter
, I was totally pulling for you.”

Amusement made his lips curve. He could never get used to the idea of having fans. “Thanks.”

Embry came down the breezeway, a couple of cans in her hand.

“
Can I have your autograph?” the kid asked.

Embry’s brows winged up.

“
Got a pen?”

The kid produced one from some pocket of his oversized gangster jeans, and Gage signed his other name to the back of their dinner receipt. He handed it over.

“
This is so freaking cool! Thanks!”

“
No problem.”

Embry was propelled into motion again as he took the food and thanked the delivery guy. She slid in behind him and shut the door. “That happen often?”

He studied her face, noting humor rather than concern. “Not too often. Depends on where I am. It’s more likely at a gym than just random public. Mixed martial arts fighting is popular, and while there are a lot of fighters, it’s a fairly small community.” He paused, the tactical disadvantage occurring to him. “I’m not sure whether it’ll be a problem or not on this mission. Maybe it’s time you told me what your plan is for getting inside the facility.”

She moved over and began removing containers from the bag. “I don’t know yet.”

Gage blinked. “You don’t know yet,” he repeated.

“
We’ll know more after we perform our own reconnaissance.” She flipped open a Styrofoam container of beef lo mien and adroitly lifted noodles to her mouth with chopsticks.

“
I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

“
We knew this wouldn’t be easy.”

“
Hard doesn’t scare me. But this kind of mission should be well planned or it’s suicide. We walk in that place via our own two feet or other means, it may very well lead to our own capture.”

“
It’s a risk I’m willing to take.” She ate more noodles. “I assume you didn’t have any luck.”

“
You assume right. My head is all over the place right now. I’ll try again later.”

Her eyes flared gold for just a moment before returning to normal. “My father is counting on you, Gage. So am I.”

“
I know it. I won’t let you down, Embry.”

Much later, after night had long since fallen and the sounds of other hotel patrons had faded, after Embry had finally drifted off into an uneasy sleep, Gage climbed out of bed and tried again in the full dark. But no matter how hard he tried, the shadows refused to bend to his will. He was still trying when the sun began to rise, causing his quarry to flee.

Exhausted, he fell into bed and admitted defeat.

Chapter 6

I
made a mistake
.

The suspicion stole through her body like a virus. Embry flexed her clammy hands on the steering wheel and glanced over at the passenger seat where Gage was sleeping, head tipped against the window. He looked terrible in the dying sun, the shadows under his eyes and the mottled bruising from the fight adding years to his face.

Embry knew he’d been up all night. She’d awakened twice to see him still standing in the dark, meditating. Not that it had done more than exhaust him. He’d been sleeping off and on all the way across Kansas and Colorado.

He couldn’t Walk.

Embry hadn’t expected that it would take this long. She’d gone into this expecting that giving him the antidote would be like lifting a curtain and all his memories would simply be there, as if they’d never been gone. She’d been naïve and foolish and selfish for thinking only of how he could help her. And now she was dragging him into a danger that he might not survive unless he could remember his skills as a Walker. They all might die if his memories didn’t fully return.

And what kind of life had she condemned him to if they
did
survive? Giving him back memories of the Mirus world eradicated any hope he had of going back to the life he’d built for himself.

It had never occurred to her that he would have built a nice life without her. She found herself unreasonably pissed off that he’d managed it so well.

He would be hunted. And it would be her fault. Again.

What have I done?

Gage jerked in his seat, bolting upright with fists curled at the ready.

“
Bad dreams?” she asked quietly.

He relaxed his hands and scrubbed them over his face. “Where are we?”

“
Middle of Wyoming somewhere. I forget the last town we passed. Wasn’t much to it other than a gas station and a post office.”