“Christ.”
God, I imagine it’s Nathan and me out there with that wavy brown hair flipping up and around his collar.
“Gen.” I try to get her attention.
Sex Man pins the girl’s arms above her head while their bodies sway back and forth. It feels like a private moment between them, but you couldn’t pay me to look away. His one hand grabs both of her wrists as he slides his free hand down her body. I wish I was her right now. When he lets her wrists go, she keeps her arms up as if he commands it and I anxiously await his next move.
“Gen.” Now I’m waiving like a lunatic, but my best friend still doesn’t notice me.
Sexy Man’s hands slowly move down that lucky girl’s arms then down her body once more. Fingers skim the sides of her breasts. This guy is all sex. She’s all sex, with her long dark hair sleek bouncing off the lights of the club. She could be a model, she’s so beautiful.
My view blurs as others move to their own beat in front of the couple, obscuring this display of erotic play. But I guess that’s why they’re tucked in the corner. It’s not a show for anyone’s eyes, not even mine.
“Finally, Jesus, you’re back. I want you to check out this guy,” I say to Gen.
“My pleasure.”
“Look against the wall and tell me who that looks like.” I point to the couple in the corner.
“A very hot guy and some very lucky lady.” She snickers.
I sigh.
From across the room, I see him turn, and I recognize his profile. A jolt of electricity runs through my body while my brain catches up. Reality sets in as he moves through the crowd. As he snakes through the dancers holding his date’s hand, he sees me. I know he sees me. For seconds, we stare at each other then he turns away. It seems he doesn’t recognize me.
A sharp rush of jealously floods me.
“What the hell,” I say to Gen, and she stares at me in confusion. “That was Nathan. He’s with some woman. I know he saw me, but he totally ignored me.”
Gen almost breaks her neck trying to get a glimpse. She’s seen him once before so she knows what a sex-god he is.
“I don’t see him. So he didn’t say hi. He
was
with someone.”
I look at her, stunned ‘Well, he could have acknowledged my existence. I spent an hour with him today.”
“He probably didn’t want to cause waves.” Gen smirks. “‘Oh, here’s one of the many hot girls I touch and make sweat every day.’”
“Okay, I get it.”
I don’t.
“It was just a shock seeing him out of work mode, and God he looked hotter than ever.” I drool while emotions bubble up inside of me—envy and curiosity. Where is he now, and what is he doing with that girl?
***
LAYING IN MY
bed, I go over this ridiculous evening, questioning why I’ve suddenly gone from crushing on my personal trainer to concocting a full-blown plan to make him mine, or as much mine as he’ll allow. I’m obsessing over that girl he was with. I have to admit she was beautiful, model-thin, and the exact opposite of me.
The professional man who trains me in the gym is so completely different from the man I saw tonight. Nathan was not only in control of his sexuality, but he was in control of hers too.
Annoyed at myself, I give it a rest, get in my favorite position with my pillow just right, and let the heaviness of sleep take over.
A sexy beat pounds through me and I find myself on the dance floor. Two hands snake around me from behind, wrapping around my waist and imprisioning me against a hard body.
I don’t fight him. His embrace feels safe, warm, and inviting. His chest presses against my back and he slowly sways in a sensual rhythm. Lips brush my neck.
“Right there,” I whisper.
“Bryer, you’re mine tonight. I want you in my bed right now.”
I still feel the warmth of his breath as he turns me in his arms.
“You have the most beautiful blue eyes,” I say, as they penetrate my soul.
He’s focused and assured of himself, one hand pressed to my back and the other in my hair. His grip tightens as he moves in.
My breasts crush into his chest. He holds my hips immobile as he grinds his hard body against my awaiting sex.
My black thong is drenched, and heat pools in my lower body while my mind races. I want it all, and I want him. He leans in to kiss me, his hot breath is on my lips…like a whisper, but he waits, knowing I will meet the distance.
The sound of wind chimes rips me from the much awaited kiss. But I want to taste Nathan. I want to know what his lips feel like against mine. The wind chimes continue to urge me out of the best erotic dream I’ve ever had. I can’t help but feel a sense of emptiness knowing it wasn’t real. The only thing that is real is that it’s Monday, and I have to go to work.
I ARRIVE THIRTY
minutes early on Monday morning and head straight to my office.
“Jake, how are you?” I ask my co-worker.
“Great, Bryer. Did you see the new shipment? You’re going to love it,” Jake says.
As marketing manager of Sea Blue Marketing & Modeling Agency, I never know what to expect.
“New lingerie this week. Should be an interesting shoot.” He snickers.
“And why am I surrounded by an all-male sales team?” I joke.
“You couldn’t pay me to do any other job, Bryer. I would work for free.”
“I’m sure. You and all the boys!”
Jake is my partner in crime, and if there’s a prank to be played, I’m in. Presently, there’s a weight loss contest going on with three other salesmen. They’re probably motivated by the models who stroll in and out of here. It’s hilarious to me that they care, but men are so competitive.
“It’s a guy thing. You wouldn’t understand,” they say.
“Don’t worry, I’ll sit this one out.” I stand in the hall, laughing at them refusing to miss a moment of entertainment.
“I’ll get on the scale first,” Jake says. “Let me take off my shoes and belt. Get rid of this loose change.”
I shake my head. “I thought women were bad.”
This week’s winner is James. He lost 2.4 pounds, and he marks it on the chart taped to the wall.
“You guys are ridiculous.” I laugh.
The boss, Mr. Morton, who has not one redeeming quality, makes his appearance later.
“I just made the sale of the day,” he boasts, and we all smile and look at each other.
“You do have all the top accounts,” Jake says, but Mr. Morton just walks away in a huff.
Besides that, my job is every girls dream, I have many different assignments that change daily but the photo shoots, design and development are my real passions. And, let’s not forget, free samples are a huge bonus.
My thoughts keep going back to Nathan.. How will he act towards me when we train together on Saturday? My bet is complete disregard of the entire encounter.
But I have different plans for him, confronting the man will be swift and to the point.
***
“YOU WILL NEVER
guess who I saw at the club when I was with Camilla,” I say to Clayton as I walk into the office, throwing my bag on my desk.
“Do you really want me to guess Nathan?” He thinks for a minute. “Was it your Dad?”
“Fuck, Clayton, I don’t know why I talk to you sometimes.” I slump in my chair and lean back, running my hands through my hair. “Bryer.”
Clayton silently looks at me as if he’s missing something.
“Do tell?” He swings his chair around.
“I just ignored her, walked out with Camilla.”
“So, is she still off limits? Not your kind of woman?”
“She’s the kind of woman I want. Not the kind of woman I could have.”
“What the hell does that mean, Nathan? Either you want her or you don’t. Just go for it. If you don’t, I will.”
“The fuck you will,” I growl.
“Admit it. You want to sleep with her. Just do it and be done with it.”
“Jesus, Clayton. I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not. She’s not the kind of girl you screw and leave. She’s the kind of girl you screw and stay with.” I sigh. Knowing if I had the opportunity, who knows where it could lead.
“Then you do have a problem, because you don’t stay. And you see her every week, so you need to decide what you want. Just calling it as I see it.” Clayton says.
“I know.” I moan.
“What about Camilla?”
“I tried to fuck Bryer out of my mind using Camilla, Bryer is all I can think about.”
“Wow, that’s low even for you.” Judgement shows all over Clayton’s face.
“Don’t be a pain in the ass. Don’t you think I know what that makes me?” I groan.
An asshole.
“I also need to let Camilla go, she’s too clingy, already asking me to meet her Father.”
“Your clientele will be dwindling if you keep this up.” Clayton laughs.
“Fuck you. I knew I could count on you for advice.”
“Forget women for once. Let’s watch the game this weekend at the manor.”
“The manor? It’s a house, Clayton. My childhood home. Jesus.”
“Okay, the mansion.”
“Fine, we can watch the game there.”
***
“CAMILLA,” I SAY
into the phone, disappointed that she actually picked up.
“Nathan, I had a fantastic time with you,” she purrs, and I cringe. I have to get the hell away from her.
“There’s a problem. I’ve made an error in judgment, I should have never crossed the line from professional to personal.”
“What? What are you saying? You weren’t complaining the other night.”
“I’m not a relationship type of guy, Camilla.”
“Clearly you underestimate my power of persuasion. I’m not a fling, and never will be. I’ll be over tonight to prove it.” Confidence spills from her every pore.
“Camilla, this will only be a temporary thing.”
“I’ll see you soon.” And she hangs up before I can set her strait, maybe talking in person will have better results.
I storm out of the office, frustrated with myself, but I have to meet my next client. Maybe I should reconsider my job description and just be the owner. At least then I’ll distance myself from the clientele.
***
CAMILLA SHOWS UP
at the office, after hours. “Camilla.” I say and walk away, not caring I’m being a dick.
“What? No kiss?’ she asks.
“Of course.” I feel obligated, my Father recommended me, the last thing I want to do is disappoint him.
So I turn and give her a soft peck that seems to satisfy her for now.
“I’ve given this a lot of thought,” she says. “I know what you’re offering, Nathan, and I’ll take it. I want you.”
I flinched.
“Camilla...” I attempt to talk her out of this decision. But she knows her way around a man, even me.
She unbuckles my belt and my body betrays me. While I watch her sink to her knees in front of me doing exactly what my body craves, my mind floats elsewhere. A wildfire of emotions explode inside me, I weaken as any man would forcefully grabbing her hair and I’m enjoy the sensation. I move with her, watching the erotic decadence, aggressively driving into her experienced mouth. I’m so fucking close, but regret overpowers me. What in God’s name am I doing? I’m trying to end this.
As I slowly come to my senses, I watch her strip off her barely there clothes in a seductive dance.
“Camilla. Stop.” Shame now takes the place of desire. “I can’t do this anymore, this meaningless life of extremes.” I stare at the floor.
“What does that even mean, Nathan?” She gives me a confused look, and I can’t blame her.
“I’m sorry, but this won’t happen again.”
She’s shocked, and I’m sure this is the first time in her life she’s experienced rejection.
“Never again? We’ll see about that, Nathan.” She walks out confused and pissed, and all I feel is relief.
As I turn to walk away, I catch my own reflection in the mirror. My expression of disgrace turns to disappointment as I look back at the choices I’ve made recently. My mind is a tangled mess. Is this who I want to be?
For fuck’s sake, it’s not too late to change. I shake off the desperation and make myself a promise to do better, to be better.
***
NEEDING TO FEEL
the vibe, I arrive early at the gym. I’ve gone over one hundred scenarios about what I should say. Will he bring it up? Maybe it wasn’t even a big deal to him. Maybe he saw me and moved on with his date. End of story.
The elliptical is set on seven and my legs burn. A trickle of sweat runs down my temple, but my mind is moving faster than my body.
His low, sexy voice drifts from behind me. Pressing the off button, I turn quickly to find those blue eyes pinning me, making me lightheaded tripping over my two feet, thankfully catching myself before I fall. . He grins at my clumsiness.
“Bryer, are you OK?”
“Always.” Today I’ve decided to be bold, and let my feelings be known.
He glances at me, showing one dimple in a small smile. “Follow me.”
We head to the weight room where he proceeds to talk with his back to me. Is this on purpose? Because I want his full attention.
“We’re going to start with squats with the weight bar today to get your heart rate up,” he says.
“I saw you,” I say confidently.
He turns quickly and stares at me for seconds that feel like minutes. “I know.”
“You didn’t even acknowledge my presence.”
“I was with a friend.” His gaze moves away and he concentrates on the weight bar instead.
“You mean your date?”
“Bryer,” he starts slowly. “I don’t discuss my personal life with my clients. Let’s start with the squats.” He puts his hands on my shoulder where the bar sits to ensure my technique is perfect.
I can tell his mind is spinning. I’ve never been quite so brave, but I’m strategizing my next move.
“Do you date your clients?”
I think I just shocked myself, but his look is fierce and focused on me.
“I date whoever I wish,” he says with a hint of arrogance. “Do another twelve, and add tiny pulses at the end.”