Forgiving Nancy (Last Hangman MC Series Book 5) (9 page)

CHAPTER 12

Nancy

I take a deep breath before I begin. He deserves to know, but it doesn’t make it any easier to confess my sins of the past five years, especially since I can tell that there’s a part of him that doesn’t want to know.

“After I had hung up the phone that night, I took a quick walk to the pond, in hopes I’d sober up so my parents wouldn’t yell at me. I then walked back up the steps to go back in but I fell. I heard a car behind me as I was getting up and dusting myself off, I barely made it up the second step when I felt a large gloved hand cover my mouth and a strong arm wrap around my waist. My arms were pinned to my sides and my attacker’s arm stopped me from moving or putting up a fight. I was shoved into the back of a van and blindfolded, bound and gagged before we drove away.

“I think at some point I lost consciousness and I had no idea how much time had passed or how far we had traveled. When we finally stopped and I was dragged inside a huge house. I was terrified. I had no idea who these people were or what they wanted from me. We walked for a few minutes and went through a couple of doors. I remember thinking that my parents were behind all of it to scare me into obeying them but that wasn’t the case. When I was forced through the final door, the atmosphere changed, the place smelled homey and flowery which was confusing but reassuring at the same time. Once the binds and blindfold were removed, I was in for a shock. Stretched out in front of me was a long pink hallway lined with doors on either side, soft sensual music was playing overhead and a few guards were dispersed along the hallway to make sure the girls wouldn’t try to escape and also so the men didn’t stay longer than what they paid for.” I sigh and look down, feeling ashamed of what happened next.

“You were forced into prostitution?” Bennett asks with anger and sadness in his voice.

I nod. “They didn’t care that I was under age, their pimp used that to his advantage and fucked me until I turned eighteen. The first day I was forced to fuck other people, I had to fuck three men during the day,” I say, disgust lacing my voice.

“Motherfucker. I’m going to kill whoever did this with my fucking bare hands,” Bennett bellows, moving me off of him and onto the couch before getting up and pacing the room.

“I shouldn’t have told you,” I say softly, more to myself than him.

“Don’t you dare say that, I’m glad you fucking told me! Is there more?”

“Yes.”

“Fuck! Go on.” He stops pacing and sits on the coffee table in front of me, his gaze piercing me. His body tenses and his right knee bounces as he prepares himself for what I have to say next.

“Are you sure?” I look up at him and see the distress in his eyes and it breaks my heart.

“Yes. I need to know.”

“Alright.” I sigh and take another deep breath before continuing. “For a while I was just used in house. Men would come to me and I’d have to fuck them. The pimp would rack up all the money and we’d never see a cent of it. We weren’t allowed to leave the hallway and if we did or tried to then we were beaten. Our so called ‘rooms’ were three by four cubicles with a door a bed and a nightstand filled with toys. Our clothes were given to us only when we needed them, and there were only two bathrooms for twenty of us to share. I wasn’t even the youngest one there. I felt violated and dirty and like I was being rap-”

“Because you fucking were, Nancy!” He stands up, looking ready to hit something or somebody. I can feel the rage emanating from him but I carry on, needing to get it all out now.

“That’s how I felt and it took me a while to get to past the point where I didn’t care anymore and I started making the first move. In my mind, if I was the one making the move then I was in control and it wasn’t rape, so that’s what I did. I hated every single second of it, but I refused to be the victim anymore. I hated myself more and more at the end of each day but I had to do it to survive. You have no idea how hard it is to live with yourself when you know you are forced to do something you despise every day. It makes you feel physically sick and dirty. It made me want to end my life so many times.

“Things got worse after they decided to send us to the client’s house as well as having them visit us. That’s when the weird shit started to happen, but it brought in more money and that’s all they cared about. The first girl who was sent out on a home visit, as they like to call them, came back bloodied and bruised. The guy was into beating women but they didn’t care as long as it meant more money was coming in, soon after we were all sent out on home visits. I was always lucky but most of my ‘clients’ weren’t that way inclined, but some were into fucked up shit.” I rub my face trying to rid myself of the memories, hating the fact that I have to relive this.

“Like what?” Bennett asks softly.

“Being choked, gagged, flogged, bondage stuff and shit like that. It was hard to keep going but I had to. I didn’t want my life to be over yet, I wanted to know what the future held for me. I could’ve killed myself so many times, but I chose not to.”

“Why? I mean I’m fucking glad you didn’t, but how did you manage to make it out of there mentally and somewhat physically unscathed?”

“I’m damaged but I’m still here because of you.” I squeeze his hand

“Because of me?”

I nod. “Yes, thinking of you and the possibility that I might see you again gave me enough strength to keep going. Some days were harder than others but I managed. I can’t say the same for all of the girls though. There are only four girls left that were there when I first arrived. Some of the girls learn to enjoy it but some can’t handle it. Seeing new girls being brought in the rooms that were occupied the night before was common occurrence. We all knew what had happened. Most of the girls that committed suicide did it at their clients’ house because there was easier access to knives. It was also a final fuck you because the client would have to live with the knowledge that someone killed themselves in their house because of their deprived tendencies.”

“What made you choose to escape?”

“I had been thinking about it. Doing what I was doing was slowly destroying me and I could barely recognize myself anymore. That wasn’t me, it wasn’t the Nancy I was supposed to be. I knew I had to give it a try when I was at a client’s house and I woke up yesterday knowing that that was the day I was going to do it. It was a do or die situation because the pimp kept threatening me. He kept telling me that I should be more outgoing and friendly with the men and that I should do as I was told, whatever I was told to do. You know me and my big mouth; besides for my parents, it’s impossible for me to shut up. I knew they were going to kill me sooner rather than later so I had to escape. I was going to try to find somewhere safe where I could call the cops but I ran into you and well, you know the rest.”

“Fuck me.” He shakes his head and rubs his neck.

“Too soon, Bennett.” I joke, which earns me a small smile.

“Mad woman.” He sits back on the couch and pulls me into his arms.

“What’s new?” I ask as I look up at him.

“True. What happened to you last night? You were covered in blood.” He gives me a pained stare; I feel for him, having to see me in the mess I was in probably took its toll on him. I hate to see him looking like this and I hate it even more that I can’t remember exactly what happened.

“I’m not sure.”

“What do you mean?” He looks at me with a confused expression on his face.

“I think the client spiked my drink. I vaguely remember getting there and having a drink but then nothing. The next thing I remember is running into you.”

“Best thing that’s happened to me in the past five years.” He sighs.

“I’m sure you’ve had some good moments over the years.”

“They were all dull because you weren’t there.”

“I didn’t peg you to be this sappy, Bennett.” I tease.

“Shut up.” He chuckles and tightens his hold on me slightly as if he’s scared I’ll disappear again.

“I’d say ‘make me’ but knowing you, you would and it wouldn’t be in a good way.” I grin messing with him.

“I’m hurt; you have no faith in me.” He shakes his head before nuzzling my neck. “I missed this.”

“We never had this.” I sigh.

“I know but I missed holding you. It feels good to be with you without being afraid someone will see us and tell your parents.”

“It does. So you were looking for me?” I kiss his head before resting mine on his chest.

“Yeah, your parents called me last night th-”

“They what?” I shriek.

“Fuck! Nancy, my ears.”

“Sorry.” I grin apologetically.

“I’ll forgive you this time. They called me and asked me to look for you because the cops stopped looking for you a couple of years ago.”

“Why would they ask you? And I know that they buried me, so why decide to look for me now? How did my evil mother sound? Did she seem like she really cared?”

“I don’t know, Gorgeous Girl. But it was weird to hear from your mother. She sounded mildly interested in finding you; I don’t know her motives. All I know is that they’re looking for you and know you’re still alive, someone’s been sending them recent pictures of you. That’s how we managed to find you, kind of.”

“Pictures? I had no idea someone was taking pictures of me, what kind of pictures? Please don’t tell them you’ve found me. I don’t want anything to do with them.” I frown in anger.

“You don’t want to know. You’re going to get a wrinkly forehead if you keep doing that.” He chuckles and I slap his chest.

“Stop it! I mean it, please don’t tell them.”

“I promise, I won’t tell them, my Gorgeous Girl.” I swoon when I hear my old nickname; I love it when he calls me that.

“I’ll never tire of hearing you call me that.”

“My Gorgeous Girl.” He kisses my temple.

“I’m here.”

“Yes, you are.” He beams, looking a lot more serene than a few minutes ago. “I’m glad you told me.”

“I felt like I owed it to you.”

“You didn’t owe me anything.”

“I’m glad we have each other back.”

“Me too. I’m going to keep you all to myself and never let you go”

“Not even when I have to use the bathroom?” I gasp looking at him with a shocked look.

“You always have to ruin a romantic moment.” He shakes his head at me.

“I don’t want you to ever let me go.”

“Really?”

“Really, really.”

“You have no idea how happy this makes me to hear you say that.” He sighs happily and pulls me closer to him.

“I can imagine.” I smile and cuddle into him, enjoying being able to touch him once again.

Well that went better than I thought
. I don’t know why I got myself worked up about it; Bennett always had the ability to lighten a dark conversation. I know inside it’s killing him what happened to me but I’m glad he’s being supportive and isn’t being too irrational. Talking with him was a good way of getting rid of some of the weight that was on my shoulders, but not all of it. I couldn’t tell him all of it.

I feel horrible keeping some important details from him, but there’s no way I can tell him, it would crush him. I can only hope that when he does find out he’ll be able to forgive me for keeping it from me. But until that happens, I’m going to enjoy the time I have with him and cherish every memory we make, who knows what’s going to happen in the future.

CHAPTER 13

Bennett

Fuck it all to hell.

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. How the fuck did she live through all that shit? The motherfucker behind this is dead the second I find him. I’m trying not to let the rage I’m feeling show, but it’s fucking hard to calm yourself when an inferno is coursing through your veins. I hate knowing that other men have been with her, even if she didn’t enjoy it, she’s mine and mine alone. The knowledge that people used and abused her and that she had to endure it to save her life makes me sick but I have to keep a straight face and hide how much it’s killing me.

We’ve been cuddling on the couch for an hour now and I’m pretty sure I should speak, but I have no idea what to say. Nothing I could say will help ease or erase the past. What surprises me the most is her positive attitude. Either she’s made peace with what happened and knows that nothing can change it or she’s hiding something more from me.

“You’re awfully quiet, Bennett.” The sound of Nancy’s voice brings me out of my thoughts.

“Sorry, got lost in my brain.” I look down at her and brush the hair from her beautiful face so I can see her.

“What were they about?” She asks as she nuzzles my hand.

“Nothing interesting.” I try to act nonchalant, but clearly I’m not the Oscar winning actor I thought I was.

“I’m not stupid, Bennett. You’re acting as if nothing’s happened, besides getting angry at first you haven’t shown me any emotion. Either you don’t care or you’re full of shit.” She glares at me with such intensity and I know I’m busted.

“I took a shit this morning so I’m good at the moment.” I grin messing with her.

“Don’t play with me.” She sits up and maneuvers herself until she’s straddling my thighs.

“I’m not but now that you’re sitting on my dick I’m getting all kinds of good thoughts.” I smirk and trail my fingers up her thighs.

“Stop it.” She reprimands me and slaps my hands away.

“Spoilsport.”

“Speak, now.” She folds her arms over her chest probably to make herself look tougher but really it’s just making her boobs look bigger. “Eyes up here, Pervert.” She groans.

“Alright, alright, I was just thinking about what you were forced to do and how unaffected you are about it all.”

“I have no idea how to explain this without sounding like a crazy person.” She sighs.

“Try me.” I sit us both up and wait for her to continue.

“When I refused to be the victim again, I had to change my view on it all, I had to just accept it and move on. If I didn’t then I would be a broken mess. I wouldn’t say that I’ve come out of it unscathed, I’m terrified of people taking advantage of me, I have trust issues, I have no friends or family, I have no on-”

“What about me?” I ask. If I’m being honest her words cut deep and I’m a little hurt.

“It’s not the same.”

“How is it not the same? I’m your friend, I was your boyfriend once. I’ll always be here for you. The MC welcomed you with open arms and the girls probably adore you already, so tell me how you have no one?” I say matter of factly.

“I…I don’t know, I mean before running into you I had no plan other than escaping or die trying. I have no idea what to do with myself, I’m a huge fucked up mess of emotions.”

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course I do, Bennett.”

“Then let me take care of the bastards who took you. Let me help you feel safe, protected and loved. Tell me what you need and I’ll do it.” I stumble over my words slightly in my rush to get her to stay which earns me the sound of her beautiful laugh.

“Stop getting so excited. I’m not going anywhere, it’s not like I have anywhere to go.” She shrugs.

“You know what to say to hurt me, don’t you?” I sigh and rub my face.

“What do you mean?” she asks whilst resembling a deer caught in headlights.

“First by saying that you have no family and no friends, and now by telling me that you have nowhere to go.”

“Don’t be like that.”

“Don’t be like what? I’m offering you everything you’re asking for but it doesn’t seem good enough.”

“Oh my God, I forgot how stubborn and annoying you can be.” She huffs.

“You’re the only annoyingly hot person here, not me.” I chuckle messing with her, wanting the old times back. I missed our banter.

“Well that’s debatable.” She smirks.

“Fuck off.” I joke whilst shaking my head at her. “I just want to help and protect you, is that too much to ask?”

“I guess not? I’m not used to this anymore, Bennett.”

“I can understand that, but it’s not a good enough reason to be stubborn and say that you have no one in the world.” I squeeze her thigh and hope that she’ll get my point.

“I know, it’s just hard to go from having no one for five years and then suddenly have a large group of people all wanting to help. My trust issues are going crazy at the minute.”

“I know, but we’re the good guys. You don’t have to worry about anything, we’ll take care of it, including finding the person responsible and making them pay. You won’t be used anymore, my Gorgeous Girl, I’ll make sure of that.”

“What are you going to do?” she asks and I can hear the worry in her voice.

“Find those fuckers and kill them all with my bare hands,” I tell her. I try to calm the rage and hatred I can hear in my tone but fail miserably.

“You can’t do that.”

“Why the fuck not?” I look at her feeling shocked by her lack of faith in me.

“They are dangerous people, Bennett, you can’t fight them. Please.” She begs me and I hate saying no to her but this is too important.

“Nancy, we’re equally dangerous. I won’t go into details of what I or the guys have done these past five years but I’m not the same kid you fell in love with back then. I’ve killed and hurt peopl-.” I’m not sure what I’m trying to achieve with this speech and it doesn’t look like it’s working when she interrupts me.

“Deep down I know you’re still the same boy who jumped into my room from his bedroom because I had stubbed my toe, you would never hurt me. I’ve seen the biker lifestyle, probably the worst example of it, and I don’t want you to get hurt because of me. I won’t be able to cope if anything happens to you,” she says as she holds my face between her tiny hands.

“I’m always careful.” I kiss the palm of her hand, holding it to my face.

“That’s why you walk with a limp and don’t try to tell me that it’s because you’re so cool and it’s your natural swagger because I swear I’ll bitch slap the shit out of you.”

“I like it rough, so I wouldn’t mind seeing what you’d do to me. I might lie just to see what you’ve got.” I smirk playfully.

“What am I going to do with you?” She groans in exasperation.

“Love me, marry me, have my babies and maybe a puppy, I’d love a puppy or a kitten. Either which I don’t mind,” I say smiling like a lunatic.

“Oh God.” She shakes her head in desperation which makes me laugh.

“I was shot trying to stop bad guys from hurting Viv, Nicole and Jase’s ex-wife. There was some long term damage to the muscle hence why I have a cool as fuck limp.”

“Is it still painful?” She asks as she tries to climb off of my lap but I keep her still.

“Only when I’m riding for a long time. The vibrations make the muscle tense and ache but other than that I’m good. It’s been a while now anyway.”

“You’re a good man, Bennett.” She smiles at me sweetly.

“Why is that?”

“Because you’re loyal to your friends and protect them even if it means putting yourself in danger.” She chokes on the last part and it tugs at my heart.

“I’ll always do what I can to protect the people I love.”

“Good man.”

“Crazy woman.”

“I thought we’d already established that?” She deadpans.

“We did, I just thought I’d remind you.” I wink at her.

“Trust me, there’s no need,” she mumbles and cuddles into me. “When do we have to go back?”

“Where?” I ask, confused as to where we could possibly have to be.

“The compound.”

“You’re not going back there, you’re coming to stay with me.”

“Bennett…”

“Nancy…”

“As much as I’d love to spend time with you, I need some time to adapt.”

“I’ll give you space, I promise.” I plead.

“Bennett, I know you mean well, but after two seconds of seeing each other properly we practically ran into each other’s arms. The only time we haven’t been holding on to each other was when you got angry after I told you what happened. It’s not going to do us any good if we start living together.”

“Why the fuck not?” I look at her, getting pissed off now.

“Because I need some time on my own and some privacy. I know that if we’re under the same roof then you’ll want to spend as much time together as possible.” She tilts her head and looks at me pointedly

“Touché.” I sigh.

“I promise we’ll live together as soon as I’m able, I just need some time to adapt to my freedom and surroundings.”

“A week.”

“Huh?” she asks in an uncertain tone and looks at me as if I’m crazy.

“You get a week on your own then you’re all mine.” I grin evilly.

“Fuck off.” She giggles.

“I missed us.” I sigh sadly.

“I missed us too,” she whispers before kissing my chest.

Right in this moment, I really couldn’t care less if she’s hiding something from me.