Forgive Me (2 page)

“Millie and I have been divorced for about two years now. After our daughter died, things were never the same between us. I filed. I don't think she wanted to admit we were through.”

“I wish you'd told me that. Millicent was always nice to me when she came by the office. I envied your relationship. How long were you married?”

“Thirty-four years.”

“That's a lifetime.”

Royce drove past the main dwelling to the carriage house. His in-laws had passed nearly four years ago, leaving the house lifeless.

“Royce, this place is beautiful. Are you sure it's okay for me to stay?”

“Last time I checked, my name was on the deed to both places. Come inside.”

Royce removed her bag and gifts from the trunk. He gave her a set of keys to the house and stepped inside the living room, giving her time and space to take in her surroundings.

“Get some rest and call me if you want to go out later tonight.”

“Royce, I'm speechless. If it takes me forever, I promise I'll make this up to you.” She hugged him and counted the ways she'd show him just how much she appreciated his kindness.

“Baby, don't fidget. Let me get this tie straight,” said Shandy.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I can knot my own tie, Shan?” James joked and swatted Shandy's hand.

“And have us looking crazy at this banquet? No way.”

“Oh, I'm representing
you
now, huh?”

“Don't you forget it, either.” Shandy kissed James on the lips, grateful for an evening on the town. She hoped that the kiss would be a precursor to a night of passion that kept eluding them.

“Slow your roll, Ms. Fulton. We've got all night to be together,” James said, chiding her.

I won't start with him tonight. I'll let things unfold.
“So how long do you think this shindig will last? When Isaak gets worked up, he can't stop talking. Even Katrina can't make him be quiet.”

“If my mentor wants to talk all night, let him. Sitting at his feet made me the success I am, so you won't hear any complaints from me.”

James raked his fingers through his curly mane as he eyed Shandy. His thoughts worked double-time to concoct another excuse
not
to be intimate with her. Although they had grown closer over the past four years of dating, he felt something was missing in their relationship. He knew any man would gladly trade places with him. Shandy became his business partner first, then his lover. She'd
moved in with him over a year ago and went to work making his house her own. She never uttered her motivation, but he knew the renovation was to erase all traces of his ex-wife, Aruba.

Maybe Shan could erase traces of Aruba, but he couldn't. Lately, it seemed Aruba was all he thought about. Their divorce ended bitterly after she pursued her friend's husband and won hands down. Aruba waited for him to get his act together, encouraged him to work, and reassured him she'd always be there for him. She held out for ten years, and then swiped back the promise of forever when she discovered his affair with Tawatha Gipson, a secretary at his former job. Tawatha's obsession graduated to insanity when she burned three of her children in a house fire to be with him. He marveled at Aruba's audacity, self-righteousness, and unwillingness to give their marriage a second chance since she crept with Winston as he crept with Tawatha. Who was he kidding? It would have been impossible after the way he'd treated her. If that were not enough, an out-of-wedlock daughter he produced with Tawatha, Jameshia, was still at the forefront of his mind. He always said if he had a child, he wanted to be a part of the child's life. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, and he didn't know how to make things right. The few times he'd visited Aruba in Los Angeles, their son, Jeremiah, refused to talk to him. Little man had grown into a sharp, witty nine-year-old who needed him.

“So, will I have to stage a mutiny for a vegetarian meal tonight?” Shandy asked, coaxing James from his thoughts of Jeremiah and past indiscretions.

“I got that taken care of already. I know how much you detest meat, Shan.”

“Keep eating secretions if you like. I want my man to be healthy.”

“I'm pure meat and potatoes. Always have been, and always will be.”

“I'll wear you down eventually,” said Shandy.
Literally and figuratively.
She wanted to know what he was thinking but was too afraid to ask. When she scooted closer to him at night in bed and rubbed the hair or his stomach, he'd turn to her, eyes still shut, and say, “I miss you, Aruba.” The only thing she knew about their divorce was that Aruba cheated on him with her girlfriend's husband. She wondered how he could miss a woman like Aruba and why, after all these years, he seemed filled with regret. The last time she broached the subject, an ugly shouting match ensued, James stormed out the house, and he spent two nights in a hotel. There was no way she would mention the subject again. She loved him and wanted to be the new Mrs. Dixon. This summer would be the mother of all tests because his son, Jeremiah, was coming to stay from late-May to August. Her exposure to children was babysitting her niece, Kathryn, whenever she visited Vegas and gave her twin brother, Simeon, a night on the town with his wife.

“Afterward, we can go dancing if you like,” said James.

“What did you say?” asked Shandy.

“I said after the banquet, we can go dancing if you like.”

“Or we can come home and make passionate love until the sun comes up,” said Shandy.

“Is that all I am to you?” James joked.

“Of course not. That's one of many things I like about you, James Dixon.”

Shandy twirled around in her teal and black evening gown. She had her shoulder-length hair pulled back in a bun and her makeup done at Makeup by Sparkle, the same studio she'd frequented since meeting James. Shandy hoped James would find the look
appealing enough tonight. She always looked good on his arms, but lately she had found it difficult to captivate him behind closed doors.

Tonight has to be different. I can't take this pain much longer.

“Lake, are you coming out of the office or do we have to come in and get you?”

“I'm almost done typing this chapter, so give me five more minutes. I promise you won't starve by then,” said Lake.

“Keep up the jokes and the three of us will leave you here,” said Lasheera.

“When will Dad be done?” Zion asked.

“We'll all watch Lake march across the stage next spring. He defends his dissertation soon.”

“Will Dad make us call him
Doctor?”

“You know Lake isn't hung up on titles. Go get Onnie so we can go to Cheesecake Factory.”

Lasheera watched Zion walk down the hall to the family room. Tonight's celebration of Aunjanue's academic achievements would be bittersweet for the family. Aunjanue's day was filled with excitement after receiving acceptance letters from Stanford, Spelman, and Bryn Mawr. Those would be added to the pile from Clark Atlanta, Yale, and UC Berkeley. No sooner than she ripped open the letter from Bryn Mawr, her best friend, Tarsha, called to ask if she was watching the news. Before Lasheera could grab the remote from Aunjanue, word of Tawatha's release from prison flooded the living room. Lasheera didn't intend for her to find out about
Tawatha's release—nor was she prepared to reintroduce Tawatha into their lives.

“Onnie, honey, let me…turn the television,” Lasheera said as she took the remote from Aunjanue. She turned off the television and went to Lake's home office. She needed his help with this one.

Aunjanue's face froze. She watched the anchor describe the jury- tampering technicality that set her mother free. Memories of her siblings, Grant, Sims, and S'n'c'r'ty, rushed through her mind as she stared at the urn holding their ashes on the mantle. Aunjanue plopped down on the sofa as Zion joined her. He held her hand.

“Onnie, what's wrong?” he asked.

“Remember when I told you about my brothers and my sister, the ones on the photos I showed you?”

“You told me they died.”

As she sought the right words to explain her feelings, Lasheera rescued her. “Zion, go to your room. We need to talk to Onnie alone. Straighten your room before we go to dinner. I'll call you down when it's time to go.”

Zion walked away. He hated leaving good adult conversation.
What's so important that I can't listen in? She's my sister, too.

Lake and Lasheera joined Aunjanue on opposite sides of the sofa. They held her hands for comfort.

“Did you know she was being released?” Aunjanue asked.

“I did,” said Lasheera. She paused. “We didn't want to disturb your senior year. You've done so well and we didn't want anything to interrupt your progress.”

“You know how unstable your mother is,” Lake added. “If nothing more, we didn't want her to harm you in any way.”

“I hate her. I'll never forgive her for what she did to us. I don't want to see her, and I don't care about the baby she had either.
She's nothing to me.” Aunjanue stared at the urn again as she blinked back tears. She'd given Tawatha too many tears already.

As they held her hands, Lake spoke. “You're safe with us. If she comes near you or us, we'll take out a restraining order. If she tries to contact you, let us know and we'll handle her. We're here to protect you, Onnie. You have to know that.”

“I don't want to go out anymore. I'm going to my room.” She stood to leave as Lasheera touched her shoulders.

“Onnie, don't let her spoil this night. I want you—”

“Give her space,” Lake said. “I'll order us some take-out. She needs to be alone with her thoughts, baby.”

“Are you sure you don't want to go out?” Lasheera asked Aunjanue once more.

“Positive. I've lost my appetite.”

Lake and Lasheera watched Aunjanue as she headed toward the stairs. Lasheera hadn't spoken to Jamilah, their other bestie, since she took up Tawatha's cause and fought to have her released from jail. Of all the first cases on the planet, she didn't understand why Jamilah wanted to set Tawatha free again.
Justice be damned. I'll kill her if she comes near Aunjanue.

D
arnella tapped on Aruba's door again. The tray of baked chicken, green beans, seasoned rice, and fresh-squeezed lemonade remained untouched next to the latest
Ebony
she had placed outside Aruba's door.

“Aruba, you haven't eaten since this morning. Please open the door, honey.”

Darnella wasn't sure what troubled her more, Aruba's silence or her inability to comfort her only child. Aruba moved to back to Georgia six months ago following the death of her second husband, Dr. Winston Faulk. Darnella knew the marriage was ill-fated because Aruba stole Winston from her friend, Victoria.
Friend.
Darnella cringed at the thought of all the secrets and quiet time the women shared as her daughter set her sights on taking Victoria's place. Sure, Aruba's husband, James, wasn't pulling his weight at the time. His chronic unemployment and lackluster desire to keep a job were enough to work any woman's nerves, especially a mother-in-law who hated seeing her daughter Hebrewing to keep the household going. However, Darnella would never have suggested man-stealing as a remedy for a bad marriage. That's why the Western world had divorces. News of the betrayal devastated Darnella the night her mother, Maxine, called to tell her that Aruba's birthday party had turned sour as Victoria revealed to
guests and friends that Aruba had been cheating with her husband.
Where did I go wrong raising her?