Forget Me Knot (40 page)

“Mr. Roberts, I am not a lordship. I would thank you not to address me as such.”

Christian sniggered.

“Sorry,” Martin said.

“Now, then, Mr. Roberts, the facts of the case, if you please.”

“Well, Mr. Sitwell and I bought Debbie Harry two years ago when she was a puppy. She was the cutest little thing. I fell in love with her immediately. She had these big brown eyes and the cutest little nose. Christian wanted to call her Brandy, but I thought that was such a cliché for a St. Bernard, bearing in mind they carry barrels of brandy round their necks. Anyway, I’ve loved the real Debbie Harry since forever. I mean, her
Def, Dumb & Blonde
album was sheer genius.”

“Mr. Roberts,” Lady Penelope broke in, rolling her eyes. “Will you please confine yourself to the relevant facts or we will be here until midnight.”

“Yes, sorry, your worship.”

Lady P was becoming exasperated. “I am not a lordship, nor am I a worship.
Ma’am
will do nicely, thank you.”

Christian was looking positively smug by now, as if he had already won.

“Ma’am, if I might interject at this point,” he said with a weasellike charm, “the facts of the case are very simple—”

The judge turned on Christian. “No, Mr. Sitwell, you may not interject. Might I remind you that Mr. Roberts is giving his evidence? You will have your turn in due course. For now please be quiet.”

Christian blushed scarlet. “Of course.” He squirmed. “I do apologize, ma’am.”

The judge turned back to Martin and instructed him to continue.

“Anyway, we brought Debbie Harry home to live with us. I got her a kennel with her name on it and one of those fleecy things to sleep on. Not that she slept at first. I was up with her most nights because she was missing her mum. I used to bring her into the living room and we’d watch old movies together. She seemed to like that.”

“Mr. Roberts, I must ask you to keep your evidence more concise.”

“Sorry… Anyway, everything was fine until my relationship with Mr. Sitwell broke up. I caught him having an affair with this transvestite who performs in one of the gay bars in Soho. I can’t remember which one—”

“Even more concise, please.”

“Right.”

Eventually Martin told the story of how Christian refused to let him see Debbie Harry after the breakup, how he came into the shop to threaten and harass him. “My boss, Miss Abby Crompton, can confirm this.”

The judge asked if Abby was present. “She is, ma’am,” Martin said, pointing her out.

“Miss Crompton, please approach the bench.”

Abby stood up and crossed the courtroom.

Lady Penelope looked at her over her glasses. She clearly recognized Abby, but her stern expression and demeanor left Abby in no doubt that this was neither the time nor place to exchange pleasantries. “So, Miss Crompton, you are Mr. Roberts’s employer?”

Abby nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

“What can you tell the court about Mr. Sitwell’s behavior?”

Abby didn’t hold back. She told the judge about the scenes she had witnessed in the shop, where Christian had shouted and bullied Martin. She even managed to describe how Christian had bullied and harassed her. Lady P said this was completely irrelevant, but it was clear she would take it into account.

When Abby had finished, Lady P thanked her and turned to Christian. “Mr. Sitwell, what do you have to say in response to these allegations?”

“Ma’am, the plaintiff and Miss Crompton are somewhat deranged.”

“Is that so?”

“Absolutely, ma’am. The point is that, whenever Mr. Roberts looked after Debbie, he didn’t feed her properly or give her the vitamins she needs.”

“You have evidence of this? Did she lose weight?”

“Well, no, but she got three colds last winter.”

“And so you took her to the vet?”

“Yes.”

“Did the vet advise you that the colds came about as a result of the animal not having been fed properly?”

“Not as such.”

“What do you mean, ‘not as such’? Did he or didn’t he?”

“No,” Christian mumbled.

“I see. So, let’s recap. The dog didn’t lose weight. Nor did the vet suggest that her colds had been caused by poor nutrition. I would put it to you that you have no evidence whatsoever that Mr. Roberts was abusing the animal.”

For once Christian was at a loss for words. In desperation, he turned toward Toby. “Toby,” he cried out, his tone close to panic, “tell the judge that we’re together and that we would provide a wonderful, loving and caring home for Debbie Harry.”

Lady Penelope brought her gavel down onto its block. “I will have silence in my court,” she bellowed. She looked directly at Toby. He averted his gaze. It was several seconds before she turned back to Christian. “Mr. Sitwell, are you telling me that you and this gentleman are living together— as a couple?”

“Indeed.”

“I see.” Lady Penelope took a few sips of water from the glass on the bench. “I see,” she repeated. Her eyes went back briefly to Toby, who was still refusing to look at her. She gazed in his direction for several seconds. Finally she returned to the case before her. “Mr. Sitwell, have you heard of the actress Lucinda Wallace?”

“Of course.”

“Well, I can assure you that she isn’t deranged, and she has issued this court a sworn affidavit saying she saw you shouting and bullying Mr. Roberts. She also said you tugged so hard on the dog’s lead that you caused her significant distress.”

“That’s a lie!”

“I don’t think so.” Lady Penelope arched her hands. “In
the case of Roberts versus Sitwell, I find for the plaintiff, Mr. Roberts, who will have sole custody of the dog Debbie Harry. The dog will be handed over to Mr. Roberts no later than ten A.M. tomorrow.” She looked back at Christian. “Mr. Sitwell, I am prepared to review my judgment six months from now. That will be dependent upon you agreeing to go to an anger-management course and completing it successfully.” For a second time, she brought her gavel down onto its block. “Case adjourned.”

“This is ridiculous,” Christian cried. “It’s absurd. I demand a retrial. I demand a new judge. I will not accept this. I will not give up that dog.”

“Oh, you will, Mr. Sitwell,” Lady Penelope said, her calmness clearly belying her anger. “Believe me, you will. If you don’t, I will recommend to the police that they prosecute you for harassment and animal cruelty. That way you will lose the dog and more than likely your position with the retailers’ association.”

Christian suddenly looked broken.

The cameras continued to roll as Abby and Ichiro hugged Martin. “Hey, what did I tell you?” Abby said. “I knew you’d win.”

“Actually, if I remember rightly,” Martin said with a grin, “you suggested I could lose.”

“I did? Oh, well, what do I know? That’ll teach you to never listen to me.”

“Well, I knew we’d win,” Ichiro said, opening his shoulder bag and taking out a fuchsia-pink dog bowl. Around it, written in fake diamonds, was the name
Debbie Harry
. “Isn’t it just awesome!”

Everybody agreed that it was.

While Abby, Martin and Ichiro continued to revel in
their victory, Toby approached Christian and put his arm round his shoulder. “Come on,” he said gently. “Let’s go home.”

“I do not need effing anger management,” Christian snarled, making two fists.

“You know what?” Toby said. “You do. And what’s more, you’ve needed it for a very long time.”

He was leading Christian out of the courtroom when Lady Penelope appeared, still in her judge’s regalia.

This time Toby looked her directly in the eye. He was silent for a few moments, clearly summoning every ounce of his courage. “OK, Mother, now you know I’m gay. If you want to shout at me and humiliate me, then go ahead. Get it off your chest. Tell me what a disgusting pervert I am and how I’ve sullied the family name. Disinherit me. Disown me if you want. I don’t bloody care. I’ve had a lifetime of your hectoring and bullying. It ends now. If you can’t accept me for who I am, then sod it. I don’t care.”

“Good for you.”

Abby, who was standing several feet away with Ichiro and Martin and pretending not to listen, smiled. “Wow, he’s finally done it.”

“I will not be treated like an idiot,” Toby carried on, oblivious to his mother’s comment. “I am one of this country’s top corporate lawyers. I don’t care if you’re not proud of me. I don’t need your approval anymore and I don’t need your money. I’m proud of me, and that’s all that matters.”

“But I am proud of you.”

“And I will not put up with your endless interfering in my life—like when you demanded that Abby see a gynecologist to check that she’s fertile.”

“Quite right! Bravo!”

“What? You’re agreeing with me?”

“Yes.”

“Well, that has to be a first.”

“I admit that I can be a trifle domineering on occasion and that I need somebody to tell me to mind my own business. Your father used to do it when he was sober. Thirty-four years I have been waiting for you to stand up for yourself, and it’s finally happened. About bloody time.”

Toby blinked in disbelief. “There’s no cure for being gay, you know. No posh head doctor you can send me to. This is it. This is who I am.”

“Don’t be a complete ass, Toby. I don’t give a flying fig if you’re gay.”

“You don’t?”

“Of course not.” She removed her wig and began scratching her head. “Our family has a proud tradition of stately homos. Apparently, my father had a long-standing affair with Noël Coward. Although I wouldn’t have minded you telling me.”

“I’m sorry. I thought you’d fly into an almighty rage, and I couldn’t face it.”

“Well, you’ve managed to face me now. I’d say that’s a step in the right direction.” At this point, Lady Penelope turned to Abby and beckoned her into the group. “Come here, my dear.” Abby took a few steps forward. “I’m sorry you and Toby didn’t make it. I rather took to you, Abby. I admire a girl with spirit.”

“You remembered my name,” Abby said.

“Having to make more of an effort these days,” she harrumphed. “Frightful nuisance. Doesn’t matter so much when I’m being a regular magistrate back home and there are other people in court to remind me, but one simply can’t
be a TV judge and forget people’s names. Got myself one of those invisible hearing-aid whatnots, too. Producer insisted.”

Christian took her attention next. “As you may have guessed, I am Toby’s mother.”

“How do you do?” Christian said with a snarl. He wasn’t about to forgive her for what he saw as a cruel, unreasonable judgment simply because she was the mother of the man he lived with.

“Oh, I do very well, as it happens. I am just wondering why my son has gotten himself involved with a man who has anger-management issues.” She turned to Toby. “Have you any idea what you’re taking on? Not your best move, if you ask me….”

“I am not asking you. I don’t give a damn what you think and I am not asking your permission. Christian needs help, and I’m going to be there to support him, because I love him.” He turned to Christian. “Come on. Let’s go.”

The pair had gone no more than a couple of paces when Lady Penelope called out to Toby. He turned. “Point taken,” she barked. “Right… well, then… good luck… to both of you.” She attempted—possibly for the first time in her life—an expression of motherly concern.

Toby appeared to note it and smiled back. “Thanks,” he said.

ABBY HAD INSISTED THAT
Martin take Saturday off to get reacquainted with Debbie Harry.

By now it was almost lunchtime and the shop wasn’t too busy. She decided to use the time to change the water in her display vases and check out blooms that were past their best. She had just removed some drooping orange ranunculus when she heard the door open. A paunchy, gray-haired man dressed in a rugby shirt and jeans was coming toward her, smiling.

“Can I help you?” she said, returning the smile.

“You must be Abby.” He held out his hand.

She found herself taking it. “Yes… sorry… and you are?…”

“Malcolm Grant. Dan’s stepdad.”

“Goodness.” She was taken aback. The last thing she’d expected was the chairman of S&M to walk into her shop unannounced, wearing jeans and a rugby shirt.

“I am so pleased to meet you at last.” His manner was easy and avuncular. She took to him immediately. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked Dan to set up a lunch or
at least bring you into the office so that I can meet you and thank you for everything in person, but he keeps putting me off. Says you’re both too busy or some such rot.”

“Well, Dan has been very busy with this film.” She became uneasy. She needed to get this out of the way before they went any further. “And I should tell you that something else has happened in the last few days. We’re not actually seeing each other at the moment.”

Sir Malcolm seemed taken aback. “Really? I’m sorry about that. He seemed so smitten. Every time we meet up or he comes home, he doesn’t stop talking about you… and you seem so nice.” He paused. “Anyway, your relationship is your private affair. I’m actually here to talk business.”

“Business?”

“Absolutely. Look, I’m not going to beat around the bush. I want to invite you to meet the members of the S&M board. We want to offer you a consultancy post.”