Forget Me (17 page)

A shadow stood in the window. Watching. I didn't stop. I kept on running, so hard my lungs ached, feeling the person's eyes on my back the whole way.

L
ate Monday afternoon, Toni and I sat on the floor of my room, flipping through magazines. But all she wanted to talk about was our little adventure. As frightened as she'd been before the crime, she seemed proud of it afterward. She regaled me with the story again and again as if I hadn't been there myself.

“You should've seen your face when we heard a sound in the house,” she said. “You were all . . .” She contorted her face into a grotesque expression of shock, and then doubled over laughing.

“It's not funny,” I said, closing my magazine. “Someone saw us.”

She shrugged. “We didn't get caught. You saw a shadow that could have been anything. If someone really saw us and recognized us, we wouldn't be in your room right now. We'd be at the police station.”

Unless it had been Evan who saw us. He wouldn't turn me in. But it would be terrible just the same. I almost wished—if someone
had
to see—that it had been one of his parents. I'd rather have to apologize to them than face the shame of knowing it was Evan watching me run from his house. I looked at my phone on the floor beside me. No blinking light. No new calls or messages.

“Hey,” Toni said, “a watched phone never buzzes. Why don't you just call him?”

I flopped backward and stretched out on the floor, my eyes on the ceiling. “Because I did something horrible. I went temporarily insane. I don't even know what to say to him.”

I'd felt nauseated all day, waiting for the phone or the doorbell to ring. I didn't want to call him because I didn't want to act like I'd done nothing. If someone had seen us, that would only make it worse. Deepen the lie.

“Are you going to stay for dinner?” I asked, changing the topic. “My mom is coming home at a good time tonight. She can make us some macaroni and cheese. Extra-orange, the way you like it.”

“No, thanks. I have
secret
plans tonight.” She wagged her eyebrows. Those plans involved Reece, I was sure. “You want to come along?” she asked.

The last thing I wanted was to be the third wheel at their love-apalooza. “Nah. I've had my fill of adventure for the week, and it's only Monday.”

“Your loss,” she teased.

“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered.

She scrambled to her feet and grabbed her backpack. “I'm going to head home and make an appearance, deal with questions about why I'm always out, break up an argument between Mom and Dad or Dad and Cooper, listen to some screaming, then go back out again.”

“Sounds like a solid plan.” I matched her sarcasm and went along with it because I knew that's what she liked. But my heart constricted. No matter how bad things got with my parents, my house was like a relaxing spa compared to hers.

Before she made it out the door, I called out to her, “Toni?”

She stopped and turned, her bag swinging in the air. “Yeah?”

“I love you, bestie.”

Her mouth tightened, and for a moment I wondered if she was going to cry. Then she smiled. “Back at ya, babe.”

• • •

I felt guilty for betraying Evan, but that didn't change how I felt about the things in Flynn's diary or my determination to get to the bottom of it. I scrolled through my cell until I found Cooper, then dialed him.

“
You
drive her,” he answered.

“Um, what?” I said.

“My little sister wants a ride home. That's why you're calling, right?”

“No,” I said. “She left already. I'm calling for something else.”

He paused. “Oh, sorry. What's that?”

“Toni said you did a lot of research on Stell. For your college essay.”

“Yeah . . .”

“Would you be willing to give me a quick rundown?”

“Sure. It was pretty simple. Their most profitable product, a migraine medicine, was sending a small percentage of patients into cardiac arrest. The guy at the top knew this, but covered it up. The money rolling in was too good to stop production. If the story got out, the company's reputation would've been shattered. So he considered that small percentage of dead customers collateral damage while he quietly worked on a fix for future batches.”

“So what happened?” I asked.

“A whistleblower called the FDA. Named ‘Employee X' in the legal proceedings, for protection. He or she blew the lid off the whole thing and the company went down. The CEO was going to be criminally charged before he offed himself.”

“And that's it?”

“That's it.”

It was the same story Evan had told me. No new information. I didn't know what angle Flynn had been working. The whole mess seemed to have been closed five years ago. I hung up with Cooper, and my mom called me down to eat.

Dinner with my parents was like a business meeting. We made small talk. They spoke about a local political race. I shared my thoughts on the history quiz I'd taken that day. I didn't ask them about the note, and they didn't act like someone had been sending them threats. On the surface, everything seemed happy and normal. And, to be honest, the calm made me feel temporarily better. Even if it was fake.

After dinner I went up to my room to do all the homework I should've done earlier with Toni. I left my reading till last and brought the assigned book into bed. Around ten, my eyes started to close. The book dropped to my chest.

My phone buzzed.

I shot up like a firecracker had gone off in my room. I grabbed at the phone clumsily, knocking it off my desk, then sank to the floor to get it. It was a text from Evan. My stomach clenched.

can you come outside now? in car one house down.

I opened my bedroom door. Blue light and soft voices came from my parents' room. They were watching TV, still awake. I'd have to sneak past them.

I typed back:
be right there.

I pulled my hot mess of bed-head hair into a quick ponytail and threw a sweatshirt on over my tank top. My fleece pajama pants were red with white hearts—mildly embarrassing, but I didn't want to waste time changing. I snuck downstairs, carrying shoes in my hand, and slipped out the front door.

The night was mild and hummed with buzzing insects, the first sign that the long, quiet winter was coming to an end. Evan's car was parked in front of my neighbor's house. The interior light was off, and I couldn't see him inside. I thought I'd get in like I had the other night, but as I approached, he got out and stood up, closing the door behind him.

My nerves were on high alert, but I told my guilty conscience to chill. This little visit probably had nothing to do with what I had done. He'd found a clue. Or he just wanted to see me.

I stepped closer. His face showed no emotion, his mouth pressed into a thin line. He gave me a long look. The silence stretched between us like a rubber band about to snap.

“Hey . . . what's up?” I asked in a small voice.

He cleared his throat. “I have to talk to you, and I couldn't do it over the phone. I had to see you. See your face.”

My hopes withered like a dying flower. He knew. He
knew.
“What about?”

“I forgot my glove,” he said, his voice flat.

“What?” My mind spun in circles. He hadn't left a glove here. What was he talking about? But then I realized . . . he didn't mean here. He'd left it at his house on Sunday, when he needed it for his game.

“I came back just for a minute,” he said sadly. “Figured I'd run in, grab my glove from my room, and run back out.”

It was him. He was the shadow that watched me run away. And he obviously hadn't told his parents or turned me in. I braced myself for the words I knew would come next. The angry tone. I closed my eyes against it, but it never came.

When I reopened my eyes, he stood in the same spot. Not close-fisted and furious, but confused and hurt. The pain in his eyes was so sharp, I could barely take it.

“What were you doing?” he asked.

“I just . . . ,” I stammered. “I wanted to see if I could find any clues.”

Unreadable emotions flashed across his face, and he turned away from me. Tears sprang to my eyes. I had to explain. I had to make him understand.

I took a step forward, closing the distance between us. “In the car Saturday night, you seemed focused on Flynn's motives. How Flynn was out to get you guys. I thought you couldn't distance yourself enough to look at your own family. To see if there was anything
they
were hiding. Please. I don't want you to be mad at me.”

Evan whipped back around. “Do you want to know what's sad about this whole thing? I'm not mad. I'm jealous.”

I repeated, “Jealous?”

“Flynn lied to you about everything, and you assume he had the best intentions. Meanwhile I'm by your side, researching this even though it may hurt my own family. I keep no secrets from you, and you don't trust me.”

“I
do
trust you,” I said futilely.

“You have a funny way of showing it,” he snapped back.

He was right. And if the roles were reversed, I wouldn't forgive him. I had to make this right.

I reached out for him with clammy hands.

“Morgan!” My mother's yell pierced the air. I looked and saw her standing in our front doorway, calling into the night. “Morgan!” she screamed, panic edging her voice.

Wonderful. I was in trouble with Evan for breaking in and in trouble with my parents for breaking out.

“I'm here!” I called back.

Mom came running down the front walk. Evan stiffened beside me and took a step back toward his car in the darkness.

“Morgan,” she said with relief as she reached me. She grabbed my arms, like she was making sure I was real and not some illusion. I looked down and saw her bare feet on the sidewalk, and it finally sank in that something was going on. “Are you all right?” she cried.

“Yeah, Mom. I'm fine. What's going on?”

“It's Toni,” she said breathlessly. “She's in the hospital.”

M
y stomach ached. My throat felt like it was filled with sand. I hadn't eaten in fourteen hours, but I still couldn't force anything down.

“Are you going to keep staring at that granola bar or are you going to eat it?” Cooper asked.

We'd been camped out in the hospital waiting room all night, watching other distraught families come and go. There was a boy with pneumonia, a girl with appendicitis, a man who'd had a heart attack. And us. Waiting helplessly for the teen with massive internal injuries, going through multiple surgeries all night long. We refused to go home. Refused to sleep. Refused to eat.

“You can have it.” I passed the snack to Cooper. My dad had bought it from a vending machine and put it in my hand when I refused to go to the cafeteria with them.

I looked at Toni's parents. They were by themselves in the corner of the room, hugging and crying. I wanted to say something, but why bother? Words wouldn't help them right now.

Toni had been found by a trucker, lying in the middle of Crescent Road, bleeding. It made no sense to me. No one lived on Crescent Road. It was a dark and kind of deserted street on the edge of town with only a couple of industrial businesses. There was no reason for her to be there, never mind alone.

It was a hit-and-run.

Toni's “secret plans” hadn't been with Reece, as I'd assumed. And what made my heart feel like a lump of lead in my chest was that she'd asked me to go with her. If we'd been together, she might not be fighting for her life right now.

“Morgan? Can we speak to you, please?” My mom peeked her head in the doorway of the waiting room.

I stood, my body aching from being curled up in the same uncomfortable chair for hours. My parents had offered some polite words of hope to the Klanes, but other than that they'd been darting around like quiet hummingbirds. Keeping themselves busy. Getting people coffee. Making phone calls.

I hobbled into the hallway.

“We want to talk to you,” Mom said.

I sighed. “I told you guys
and
the police—I don't know what she was doing there. I don't know where she was headed.”

“Not about that,” Dad said. “We want to know who you were with outside. Your mother said there was a car and a boy in the dark.”

Oh. That.
When Mom dropped the bomb about Toni being in the hospital, I ran to the house with barely a wave to Evan. It wasn't exactly the time to do introductions. “Just a friend,” I said.

“From school?” Mom asked.

“He goes to Littlefield High.”

Dad frowned. “He's not just a friend if you're sneaking out to see him at night.”

“Dad, please—”

He interrupted, “If you're going to continue to see this boy, he'd better have the manners to come in the house and introduce himself properly.”

I couldn't tell them the true reason I was hiding Evan. I needed to get to the bottom of everything before I could parade him in front of my parents. But I had to tell them something now.

“He's afraid to meet you,” I said. The lie came easily.

Dad narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

“His father worked for Stell. He feels awkward.” Mom and Dad shared a quick look. “I told him you guys would never judge him for who his father is—”

“Who's his father?” Dad cut in.

“Darren Murphy.”

Dad's eyes flared. “You can't see him anymore.”

My mouth dropped open. “Wow. Real nice, Dad. I told Evan you guys wouldn't make a quick judgment, but here you are proving me wrong. And his father didn't even do anything, by the way. It was his uncle who screwed the company over.”

Mom kept shaking her head, like an animatronic figure. “We're not going to discuss this,” she said. “It's off the table.”

“I'll see him anyway,” I shot back. My bravado shocked me, but they were being so unfair. Acting like hypocrites.

I could see Dad's cheeks visibly flushing. “You're not going to sneak around like—”

I snapped, “Like you? All you and Mom are doing is sneaking around and keeping things from me. I know about the threats you've been getting.”

Mom gasped. “How do you know about them?”

Them.
So the note I saw wasn't even the only one.

The sound of footsteps made me turn. A doctor was purposefully marching this way. His face was unreadable. But as he turned into the waiting room, my parents and I dropped our fight to follow him.

Toni's parents jumped up from their seats, and Cooper ran over. “Is there news?” he asked.

The man spoke gravely. “I'm Dr. Chara. Toni pulled through her surgery.”

If Mr. Klane hadn't had one arm around her, Toni's mom would've collapsed to the ground. “Oh, thank God,” she said, hands clasped together.

“We're not out of the woods, though,” the doctor continued. “Her brain swelling is significant. She's been put into a medically induced coma to help her body heal.”

“For how long?” Mr. Klane asked, his face drawn tight.

“Until we can get the swelling down. You can see her now, if you'd like,” the doctor continued. “One at a time, please.”

Toni's mother went in first. I knew I'd have to wait until after both her father and Cooper had seen her as well.

Our argument temporarily forgotten, my mom whispered, “We're heading home, honey. You should come with us. Get some sleep.”

I shook my head. “I need to see her.”

Worry lines formed on Mom's forehead. “I don't know if that's a good idea.”

My eyes pleaded with her. “I'm not leaving. I need to see her. I'll get a ride from someone else and meet you at home.”

Mom nodded solemnly. “Don't stay too long. Her family probably wants to be alone.”

My parents left, and I checked my phone. I had multiple texts from Evan. Even though he was mad at me, he was still clearly worried. I sent him a quick update. Then I called Reece again. He had skipped school and was pacing his house like a trapped animal. But he hadn't wanted to come to the hospital unless Toni's parents said it was okay. And things had been so touch and go over the last few hours, their daughter's boyfriend of the past few weeks wasn't really their top priority. I thought it was nice of him to give them their space, even though he was going out of his mind.

Cooper returned to the waiting room, wiping tears from his face with the palm of his hand. “Your turn,” he said. “Nurse says five minutes only.”

I shuffled to Toni's room, then paused outside the door. My nervous fingers held on to the doorjamb. As soon as I crossed the threshold and saw her, it would be real. I forced myself to move forward.

The hospital gown swallowed her tiny frame. Lying in the bed, her face pale, her blond hair fanned out across the pillow like an angel's halo, Toni looked like a child. A small, helpless, defenseless thing. I would do anything to protect her.

I lowered myself onto the chair beside her bed and willed my eyes to stay dry. I wanted to be strong for her. If she could hear me, I didn't want her to be scared.

“Hey, Toni. It's Morgan.” I tried to sound happy, enthusiastic. It took all my effort to push down the panic, sadness, and anger that threatened to burst from me.

I ignored the alienlike tubes and IVs threading in and out of her body, the machines beeping in the background, and laced my fingers through hers. They were warm, but felt lifeless. It was unnatural to see her so still, her face so motionless. She was always talking, laughing, making animated expressions.

Memories like photographs flashed behind my eyes. Riding our bikes together, playing with dolls, dressing up in crazy costumes and putting on stupid plays in my room. We'd gone through everything together—school, first crushes, first heartbreaks. We told each other all our secrets.

She was more than my best friend. She was family. She was a part of me.

If I lost her . . .

I couldn't even let my mind go there.

My fist slammed down on the arm of the chair. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

Then I looked again—at Toni's face, the blossomed bruise on her cheek, the gauze wrapped around her head. On closer inspection, I could see that her beautiful blond hair was long on only one side now. The other side had been shaved for surgery.

I bent over, gently kissed her forehead, and whispered, “I'm going to find out what happened. I promise.”

I left the room, feeling as if my heart had split in two. I'd left half of it behind in that hospital bed. I would do anything to make it whole again.

Cooper hovered at the nurse's station, firing questions at a woman. She had just come in and was clipping her name badge on. I recognized her as the first nurse we'd talked to when we came in . . . how long had it been . . . sixteen hours ago? I had lost track of time. But she had gone home, slept, and was now back for her next shift.

“Was she conscious when she came in?” Cooper asked.

The nurse gave a slow shake of her head. “Barely.”

Cooper pressed his fists onto the counter. “Did she say anything? Anything at all?”

“Just something about her mother. I assumed she wanted me to call your mom.”

Cooper frowned. “Did she say that? ‘Call my mother'?”

The nurse thought for a moment. “No. She just got out the word
mother,
then slipped away.”

“Did—”

“Listen,” she broke in. “I'm very sorry about your sister. But I need to go do my job and keep her alive right now. I don't know anything else about the accident.”

She grabbed a file folder and walked away, but Cooper didn't move. His shoulders trembled. I figured he was crying, and I thought about going to him. But then he turned around, and I saw his face. There were no tears. Only pure, unfiltered rage.

I understood how he felt.

Cooper stormed back into the waiting room. And I figured it was time for me to let the Klanes be alone. I'd seen Toni and made my promise. Now it was time to follow through on it.

I left the hospital, the main doors hissing closed behind me. It was a beautiful, bright day, which felt so wrong. I wanted it to be dark and gloomy. The clouds should have been angry. The sky should have been crying.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket, thinking of who I should call to ask for a ride home when I stopped dead in my tracks. Evan was sitting on a bench outside the door. He gave a little wave when he saw me and slowly stood up.

He looked terrible. Gorgeous, still, but exhausted, like he'd been up all night.

“Any news?” he asked.

“They can't get her brain swelling to go down, so she's in a medically induced coma.”

He crossed the distance between us in two swift steps and held my face in his hands. I thought he would kiss me, right there, but instead he pulled me to him.

“I'm so sorry,” he said.

I pulled away. “No,
I'm
sorry. For what I did. For breaking into your house. I should've trusted you.”

“No, I understand.” He looked down at the ground. “I've been thinking. I shouldn't make you prove your trust to me. And Flynn . . . he was your boyfriend. You haven't known me as long. I have to keep reminding myself that we're in different time lines here.”

Confused, I asked, “What do you mean?”

He shifted his weight from foot to foot. “I feel like I've known you much longer.”

“Why?” I asked. He looked embarrassed, and I guessed, “The picture?”

He smiled sheepishly. “Despite the warning on the back, I used to stare at it, wondering who you were. Where you lived. What your name was. Why I was supposed to stay away from you. I memorized every angle and curve to your face. I thought no one that beautiful could be dangerous.”

I willed myself to look away, to break the eye contact that was making my heart stutter.

He brushed a lock of hair out of my face. “When you walked up to me at the party, it was like my best dream and my worst nightmare coming true at the same time.”

“And now that you know I'm not out to get you?” I said.

He smiled, lighting up my heart again. A blush spread across his cheeks. “I understand that we're in different places,” he said. “You spent these last few months grieving, and I spent them wondering about you. You were surprised by my existence, but I've been looking for you. Waiting for you. And now you're here and you're even better than the girl I made up in my head. I understand you need closure with Flynn. And I'll wait for you. Until you're ready.”

I wasn't quite sure how to respond to this, and by his expression I could see that he was taking my hesitation as rejection. But it wasn't. Far from it.

Before my mind could stop me, I reached up and pulled his face to mine. I kissed him—eagerly, letting myself have everything I'd wanted over the last few weeks, not holding back. Right there in the parking lot, in front of I didn't care who. All I wanted was him.

He staggered a bit, shocked, but then his hands were on my lower back, pulling me even tighter against him. His lips moving on mine felt like fire, and I was going to melt.

We broke apart to breathe. He bent over slightly, so our foreheads could touch. My eyes were on his mouth. My lips were aching for more.

He whispered, “Are you only kissing me because I look like him? Because you miss him and I'm the next best thing?”

My face felt hot, like the accusation was burning my skin. How could he even ask that? Couldn't he tell how much he affected me?

“No,” I breathed. “I'm kissing you because you're you.”

“Good. Because my heart's on the line right now.”

“I'll be gentle,” I said, and then went in for another kiss.

This one was less frantic and more tender. Perfect in every way. But after another minute, I started to feel guilty. Toni was inside the building, fighting for her life, and I was out here doing
this.
I pulled back and swallowed my emotions. This wasn't the time or place, no matter how badly I wanted it to continue.