Forever With You (Silver State Series) (11 page)

Now, however, I can’t be so sure.  Maybe it’s just that I’ve never been with the right girl.

Tawny – 11:45 PM

B
eatrix’s bed was empty when I let myself in earlier, but I can’t tell if Harumi’s here or not since I can’t see into her loft from the floor.  If she’s here, she’s obviously asleep – which sucks, because I could really use someone to talk to right now, someone to get out all of my feelings with.  I consider calling Rhiannon but decide against it, thinking it’s too late and I’ll save it till tomorrow.

I lie down in bed, but sleep predictably eludes me.  I’d wanted to have sex with Kyle tonight, but without really talking about it we seem to have both been on the same page, instead letting things die down and reach their natural conclusion once he was finished fingering me.  No one has ever seen me laid bare like that.  It was both unnerving and strangely exhilarating.

Still, all things considered, after tonight I’m fairly positive it’s going to happen with Kyle, and I
think
I’m ready for it to happen
soon
.  Now I only have one concern remaining: how in the world am I going to keep my stupid
feelings
from getting mixed up in this?  It’s just in my nature – Kyle looks at me with this expression of adoration, the way I’m sure he does every girl he fools around with, and I absolutely
melt
. 

It comes down to this: it’s clear I’ll take whatever piece of Kyle he’ll let me have.  What’s equally clear, however, is the only way I’ll survive this little experiment intact is by divesting myself of all emotion.  Somehow I need to convince myself there won’t be, nor
can
there be, a future between me and Kyle Freeman.

Part 2

Chapter 11 – Tubing

Friday & Saturday, September 2-3

Tawny – Friday, 3:45 PM

M
y intro to language class meets in one of the lecture halls on the second floor of the social science building.  On the first day of class we were all appointed to small groups and assigned seats next to our group members.  I’m in group 12 with three others – a very talkative girl named Millicent who very ardently insisted we call her Milly, a painfully quiet guy named Peter who spends a lot of time drawing on his forearms with ink pen, and another guy named Aiden who has these really adorable dimples and a self-proclaimed love for melodic metal music.  This is Aiden’s third year at UN, but he’s in all freshman level classes because he just switched majors from Agricultural Science, and evidently there’s almost no overlap in credits between the schools of art and science.

Today in class we were assigned our first group project, so the four of us hung around for a few minutes after class to organize a time and place to meet.  I jot down four o’clock next Tuesday at Mathewson in my planner, than recap my pen and follow my classmates out the heavy double doors.

“Any big plans for Labor Day weekend?” asks Aiden as he falls into step beside me.

“Going to visit my sister for a couple of nights,” I reply.  “I think we’re going down to Pope Beach on Saturday.”

“Oh sweet, in South Tahoe?  That’s where I’m going, too!” he exclaims.  “Well, close – Emerald Bay.  Me and some buddies of mine are taking a boat out.”

“Cool,” I reply.  “I love boats.”

“Have you ever been tubing?”

“No.  Seems fun, though.”

“It is,” he agrees as we exit the building into the blinding sunlight.  “Hey, since you’re gonna be nearby maybe I could give you a call on Saturday and see if you wanna join us for a bit.  Your sister is welcome to come, too.”

I smile, sliding my sunglasses on my face.  “Sure, that sounds like fun.”

“Awesome, see ya then hopefully.”

“Yep.  Bye, Aiden.”

Friday, 4:30 PM

I
glance at the clock on my nightstand and cringe – Blake will be here to pick me up in less than half an hour, and I’m still not finished packing.  Rhiannon wanted to come for me herself, but she’s on a field trip with her second graders today and won’t be getting home till later.  I don’t mind, though – Blake is a super nice guy, not to mention easy on the eyes.

I ruminate on my earlier conversation with Aiden as I stuff a couple of swimsuits in my overnight bag.  He seems really nice, and he’s certainly good-looking.  I’m not sure what all Rhiannon has dreamed up for us to do on Saturday, but it might actually be fun to hang out with him a little.

In considering my weekend plans my mind jumps unbidden to Kyle.  We had lunch in the student union once this past week, but we’ve both been too busy for anything else; the second week of classes is all about shifting gears from reviewing syllabi to actually starting the legwork for the semester.  We talked briefly on the phone yesterday, and Kyle invited me to a party tonight (which I obviously can’t attend).  He also let me know he’s heading up north for the weekend to do some work for his uncle’s asphalt business and earn some extra money – apparently he has a camera lens he needs to replace.  He’s coming back on Monday morning, though, and we have tentative plans to get together then.

The thirst that would course through me every time I thought of Kyle for the first part of the week has diminished somewhat, only because I’ve been so preoccupied with other things.  The truth is I still want him, and I can’t help imagining what it would be like to go boating with
him
on Lake Tahoe this weekend instead of Aiden.

But no, those wandering thoughts need to be shut down
pronto
.  To forestall any further notions of spending time with Kyle, I remind myself he’s going to a party tonight and will probably be getting some action from some very beautiful female who knows a lot more than I do about how to please a man.

Kyle – Friday, 10:30 PM

F
or some reason I’m regretting having told Nick I’d go to this party with him.  It’s at a house I’ve been to before, but I have no idea who lives here.  I don’t really feel up to getting drunk tonight, so I decide I’ll nurse a beer, hang out for a bit, then peace out before it gets too late.  I have an early morning ahead of me tomorrow anyway – my uncle is expecting me by nine-thirty.

The party is fairly tame since a lot of students have cleared out for the holiday weekend.  I end up sitting in a circle in the living room with a half dozen or so other people who are at varying stages of intoxication.  I sit on the floor with my legs stretched out in front of me, bracing myself with my hands behind me, and listen to the people around me engage in conversation that runs the gamut from rambling to philosophical. 

A little ways into it I become aware of the girl on the floor directly across from me.  She has a pretty smile and light brown hair that’s gathered in a loose knot on the side of her head, and she’s wearing a low-cut top that dips down to reveal a good amount of cleavage.  Her grin only widens further when I catch her looking at me. 

I know that look – ordinarily I’d be all over it.  Tonight, though, I’m feeling edgy for some reason, almost like I’m missing something important.  It has me too distracted to give much of a damn.

Not long after I notice the girl, the kid next to me takes out a joint and lights it, then begins passing it around the circle.  When it gets to me I gamely take a puff of it.  I’ve only smoked weed a handful of times in my life, and I’ve never much cared for it, but I could use something to help relax me that won’t result in a hangover tomorrow morning.

We keep passing; gradually I begin to feel the tension releasing inside me, and I’m able to enjoy myself a little bit better.  When one of the girls suggests a game of spin the bottle, though, I make my excuses and stand up to find Nick and let him know I’m leaving.  I’m not up for playing games that belong back in seventh grade.

Nick’s playing foosball with some chick down in the basement – he barely notices when I go to tell him I’m heading out.  I stop in the bathroom to take a piss, then start for the front door.  As I step over the idiots still camped out in the living room, the same girl I noticed earlier scrambles to her feet and says, “Hey, can you give me a ride home?  I don’t have a car here.”

I just stare at her for a couple seconds, trying to decide if she’s toying with me.  Remembering my manners, I clear my throat and say, “Yeah, sure.”

She grabs her purse off the couch and follows me out to my Jeep.  I don’t bother opening her door for her; instead I climb in and wait for her to go around to the passenger side.

“I’m Candace, by the way,” she says as she fastens her seatbelt.

“Kyle,” I tell her.  “Where to, Candace?”

“I live up in Sun Valley,” she replies.  “Off Highland Ranch.”

I look at her.  “Seriously?” I ask.  She bites her lip and nods, and I sigh.  “Okay.”  I start the engine and pull out into the road, suddenly very glad I have the pot in my system to mellow me out some.

Candace settles down in her seat and puts her feet up on the dash.  “Do you mind if I turn on the radio?” she asks.  I shake my head and she reaches over to fiddle with the knobs.  She finds some pop station and starts singing along with the song that’s playing.  Her voice actually isn’t half bad.

Once the song is over Candace grows quiet.  After a moment I can sense she’s looking at me, and I throw a glance in her direction.  She’s unabashedly staring at me, like there’s some question she’s dying to ask.  Finally she says, “Do you have a girlfriend, Kyle?”

I pause for a beat, not liking where this is heading.  “No, I don’t have a girlfriend,” I answer finally.

She raises her eyebrows at me.  “That’s surprising.”

I frown.  “Why?”

“Because you’re a…
very
good-looking guy.”

“Thanks.” 

“Aren’t you gonna ask me if I have a boyfriend?” she asks after a moment of silence.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” I say. My tone is flat, but she doesn’t seem to get that I’m not flirting with her.  She shifts a little, subtly readjusting her shirt to show off more of her cleavage.

“Nope,” she replies, popping the “p.”

I nod, keeping my eyes trained on the pavement in front of me.  I almost swerve off the road when she unfastens her seatbelt, grabs my leg and scoots herself closer to me.  “Has anyone ever given you road head before, Kyle?” she asks softly, a dare in her voice.

I look at her –
is this girl for real?
  Her hand inches further up my thigh before I can respond, until her fingertips are brushing against my dick.

I’ll never be able to explain why – maybe it’s that the weed has me mellowed out to the point of not really caring, or maybe it just wore down my resolve – but I let it happen.  I watch her unfasten my shorts and whip out my cock like I’m a bystander in the situation instead of the one she’s actually going down on.  She pumps it with her hand a few times until I’m erect, then bends down and starts sucking. 

The second her lips make contact with the tip it’s like I’ve been sucked through a wormhole, and I’m reliving that night I shared with Tawny.  It’s not because it feels anything like the way it did with her – this girl is a little too rough, whereas Tawny was pretty much spot on.  It’s more like a weird manifestation of all the desire I’ve had pent up inside of me for days.  I continue to focus on the road, but my mind’s eye is filled with images of Tawny – her stunning, naked body, her lips on mine, her tongue swirling around my cock.  Without giving it much thought I place my hand on the back of the girl’s head, inciting her to continue, pretending it’s Tawny’s wavy auburn locks my fingers are tangled in.

A minute later I explode into her mouth, and she spits into an empty water bottle that’s been rolling around in the floorboard of my Jeep before grinning sheepishly up at me.  I use my free hand to pull up my boxers and pants, but I’m not dexterous enough to fasten myself back up one-handed.

We turn on Highland Ranch Parkway, and Candace gives me directions to a small brick one-story house that sits off the road a ways.  I pull up to the detached garage and wait for her to gather her purse.

“Do you wanna come in?” she asks, cocking her head to the side in a way I’m sure is supposed to look cute.

“No thanks,” I tell her.  I hold her gaze, not wanting to appear rude.  Anyway, I figure we’re pretty much even – I gave her a ride home, and she gave me a mediocre blow job.

She shrugs and slides out, shutting the door behind her without a backward glance.  I re-button my pants, back down the driveway and angle south toward Reno, left to my own dangerous thoughts.

Tawny – Saturday, 12:15 PM

W
e couldn’t have asked for a more perfect day to visit the beach.  The sky is a brilliant sapphire blue with only a few spotty wisps of cloud, and the LED display outside the bank we passed on our way in says it’s eight-two degrees.  Rhiannon and I are making a girls’ day of it – I could tell Blake wanted to come, too, but he’s always been a good sport when it comes to giving us our “sister time.”

On the drive down I filled Rhiannon in on most of the details surrounding my “relationship” with Kyle.  I also told her about the conversation I had yesterday with Aiden.  She listens to me, something she’s always been great about, adding her input when I ask for it and biting her tongue when I don’t. 

When we reach the parking area for the beach, Rhiannon noses her little Subaru hatchback into a narrow space between two SUVs and shifts into park.  “Tawny,” she says as soon as the engine goes quiet.

I pause with my hand on the seatbelt release.  “Yeah?”

“Are you thinking about having sex with Kyle?”

Her tone is so unashamedly matter-of-fact, it somehow prevents me from feeling embarrassed at the frankness of her question.  “I’m thinking about it,” I reply, equaling her bluntness.

She nods thoughtfully.  “I know you’ll make the right decision for you,” she says after a moment, “so I’ll spare you all the banal bullshit about being careful, etcetera – you’re smart enough to know all that stuff already.”  I give a slight nod as I wait for her to finish.