Forever (This #5) (40 page)

“Ryan told me to stop being a fool and go get the girl.”

That makes me laugh because I can hear him saying that. “How is he?”

“He’s good. Actually, he’s better than good. It’s a miracle he’s with us, I think.”

I smile. “You’re right. I heard you were trying to work things out with your parents.”

He nods. “There’s thirty years of trauma to repair, but we’re working on mending it. I’m sorry for hurting you, but I wasn’t in a good place a few weeks ago, and looking back, I needed time to figure out me.”

“I knew that, but I wanted to be there for you while you did.”

“I needed to be alone.”

The frustration mounts, the hormones rage. “You could have returned a text or a phone call. You didn’t have to completely shut me out…act like a…”

“Say it. Like a son of a bitch. Like a bastard. I’m both of those things, Sam. You were right on the carriage. I bring secrets, destruction, and danger to those around me.”

I shake my head. Tears seep from my eyes as I listen to him verbally bash himself. “You don’t to me.” Tell him, Sam. Tell him he brings life and love. That he can be all the things his parents weren’t for him to his own child. That there’s no question it’s his. That you’ll do a paternity test if it makes him feel better. Tell him.

He leans in and grabs my head and brings my lips to his. His tongue pushes past my lips, and our lungs exchange the air we’ve breathed with each other. Our tongues intertwine like they’re meeting for the first time, tasting and exploring. I groan and wrap my arms around his neck.

We were told in school pregnant women want more sex. With child or not, it’s been weeks, and the only thing I want right now is him, in me, showing me how sorry he is with his actions instead of his words.

I stand us up and walk us to my room.

One night. One night alone with him before everything is potentially ruined again. No talking, all touches.

The room is still dark. Joe and I are skin on skin, and our limbs are tangled, his arm draped over my side, my back to his front. The clock is on the other side, and I can’t see it. I whisper, “Is it Christmas yet?”

He nuzzles my neck. “It is. Do you make it a habit of waking up before the sun rises on Christmas morning?”

I nod. “I was always anxious to see what Santa brought.”

“What’s your excuse today?”

“I’m anxious to play with what Santa brought me early last night.”

I feel his lips curve into a smile around my ear as he sucks. “Cute.”

He flips me around and pulls me as close as I can possibly be to him. Heat radiates through my body. This is right. How could either of us ever question it? He kisses my forehead, then my cheek, my chin, my neck, the tops of my breast, my stomach, my thigh. I inhale a sharp breath the closer he gets to my core and thread my hands in his hair. “I’ve missed you. Promise to never leave me again. Mean it this time.”

“You first.”

“I never left you in the first place because I wasn’t with you to leave you. But I so promise, Joe.”

“I promise too.” His tongue trails lightly over my sensitive skin. Every touch is heightened, and I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve yearned to feel his flesh on mine for so long or if it’s the hormones. But my breathing becomes ragged and the euphoria consumes me as he licks and laps at my core.

“Yes, right there.” My body winds tightly and just before it’s about to spring loose, he stops and trails kisses back up my abdomen. “Don’t stop.”

His lips splay into a smile over my skin. “I wanna be in you again so bad. I can’t wait.” He reaches for his wallet, and I am pretty sure he’s getting a condom. Every part of me wants to tell him not to bother. The one that broke weeks ago relieved the need for birth control or barriers, but that’d be suspicious, and last night I decided to wait to tell him until we’re alone tonight. We’ll have these memories if he proves he can’t keep promises.

Joe pulls the condom from his wallet. “Last one.”

“Better make it count, then.”

It’s so dark I can barely see his silhouette, but he kind of laughs. I hear the package rip and him sliding it over his length. A single finger strums my neck, down my breast bone, and to my belly button like I’m an instrument and he’s making music with my body.

He positions himself over me and slowly fills me. “I’d try to remember how good you felt, but my memories didn’t do justice.”

I hook my arms under his and pull him closer, deeper. “Same.”

His lips brush with mine. His tongue darts out and dances with mine as our hips twist and turn, trying to get as much of each other as possible.

The friction and pressure intensifies. The pleasure builds with each thrust, each movement. He pushes in and pulls out. Our bodies perfectly synchronized. Everything in this moment is right. My lips part. I lift my head and suck the lobe of his ear. He groans and his length twitches inside me. His pace speeds up, I match it. We’re climbing the mountain of ecstasy together. When we reach the top, he grabs my hand and we fall together. He rides the waves of my orgasm, and when I’m done, panting and gasping for air, he pumps himself in me until he stills and kisses my lips. “I’m so sorry. I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you.”

“I love you, Joe. I love everything about you. You’re more than enough for me.”

His lips curve into a smile over mine. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

“Say it one more time.”

“I love you.” He rolls over and tucks me under his arm. “Merry Christmas, Sam.”

“Merry Christmas.”

My eyes close, and I drift off into a pregnancy sex-induced coma.

“Merry First Christmas Married, Mr. Banks.”

He snuggles me. “Merry Christmas, Mrs. Banks.” He strokes my arms with his fingers, causing goose bumps to erupt all over my body. “We should probably get up and start on all the festivities. Lots to do before people start to arrive.”

“Stay. Just a little longer. Let’s enjoy waking up like this for just a minute. No making love, making out, or anything. Just being here in this moment.” What I can’t tell him yet is it will be at least eighteen years before we’re able to sleep in like this on Christmas morning. He’s been all about making memories, but he doesn’t even realize I have my own to make with him.

He pulls me closer. “Okay. But it’s hard to be naked and in bed with you in the morning without wanting more.”

I kiss his chest and rub his abs. “Just enjoy this moment. I’ll reward you later.”

He chuckles. “If my reward is anything like what you did last night, then it’ll be worth the wait. You were a wild woman. I’ve never seen you like that before.”

Pregnancy sex has proven to be an incredible thing when I can stay awake long enough to enjoy it. The coffee last night had done wonders for me, and I expected it would make me sick, but the warmth kind of soothed my stomach. Weird stuff women are able to tolerate when they are growing a baby.

A few minutes pass. “So. How long do you want to do this for exactly?”

“We can get up now, I guess.”

“I’m just thinking your sister is here, and I don’t want to be a bad host to her.”

“Aw. That’s sweet.” I kiss his cheek. “I’m kinda curious how things went with her and Joe last night.”

Bradley squeezes me and grins. “Okay. That’s the real reason why I’m anxious to get up. Screw being a good host.”

Really, I can’t wait to tell him about the baby. For the past several weeks, I’ve watched him. Any doubts I had about him changing his mind are a thing of the past. Since Ryan’s accident and finding out about Joe being his brother, his desire to start a family has only intensified. And while I’m scared about the unknown, every day I wonder if this sweet baby is a girl or boy. If she’ll look like me or if he’ll look like Bradley. I’m a determined person, and I’ll finish school. Not because Mom wanted me to, but because I want to do it.