Forever Is Over (79 page)

“
Richie, if you had visited me for an hour a week, you would have
had another twenty three hours that day and twenty four hours every
other day of the week, to get your head sorted. I needed you to visit me
and you didn
’
t come through for me. Not for six whole months!
”

“
Needed me to? I
’
m nothing to you apart from your sister
’
s ex and
some guy you thought you screwed at Joey Birch
’
s party when we were
fifteen.
”

I shook my head.

“
Richie, if that was your attempt to eek out a confession of love from
me, then I must say, that was pathetic! Just ask me! You
’
ve had cancer,
I
’
m being detained at Her Majesty
’
s Pleasure for killing my mother.
Do you not think, both of us are beyond playing games? Had I started 
developing feelings for you from the day we collided in Ormskirk? Yes.
Did those feelings grow whilst I was in Risley? Yes .Am I completely
pissed off with you now for abandoning me for the last six months? Too
right I am!
”

“
I
’
ve tried to explain to you why I
’
ve not been. I
’
m sorry, Jemma.
”

“
Richie, your explanation is not good enough, nor is your apology.

I had convinced myself that there was something between us. It didn
’
t
feel right to me either, because of your love and my love, for Kelly. There
were feelings there for you though, feelings I couldn
’
t suppress. Weird,
inexplicable feelings as though destiny had wanted me to be with you
and care for you. Then all this happened.

Now, I
’
m thinking I read it all wrong. If I was destined to be with
you, you would have kept visiting me over the last six months.
”

“
Broken glass can be replaced, Jemma.
”

“
Would there be any point though, Richie? I
’
d always just feel like
your consolation prize. You may have had feelings for me, but they are
outweighed by your feelings for Kelly. How is Kelly by the way? Any
idea where she is?
”

Richie swept his fingers through his blond hair.

“
Singapore!
”

“
You
’
re joking!
”

“
No. Amy had a phone call from her.
”

“
Did Amy not tell her that the
‘
Mystery Of The Murdered Mother
’
has now been solved and she can come home?
”

“
I don
’
t know. Maybe she thinks that if they arrested you, they
could arrest her too.
”

“
They won
’
t, Richie. They
’
ll have closed the files on this one.
”

“
It
’
s not me you need to tell, Jemma. It
’
s Kelly.
”

I smiled at him.

“
I might just struggle to do that! I don
’
t think the prison wardens
will get a kitty going to fund a trip to Singapore! Have you not thought
of going?
”

“
I thought about it, but it didn
’
t happen.
”

“
Why?
”

“
It
’
s a long story but when you get out, if my Dad ever gives you a
tip for the horses, just ignore it!
”

“
I will.
”

“
Any idea when you will get out?
”

“
No. I
’
m being a good girl so hopefully I won
’
t be here forever. They
can
’
t let a killer loose after six months though. The Ormskirk Advertiser
would be crammed with letters from outraged right wingers! Still, I
’
m
not ready to come out yet, I
’
d miss all the girls in here too much!
”

             
Richie and I sat and chatted amiably throughout that visit. I needed
to catch up on what was happening in the outside world. I wanted to
know if anyone was outraged by the guilty verdict. I had secretly hoped
there was a
“
Free the Ormskirk One
”
campaign being run by my MP
but Richie confirmed there was nothing of the sort. I don
’
t know what
I expected really, as to a great extent, I wanted to be found guilty, to
take the heat off my guilty sibling.

It was comforting to be able to speak to Richie like an old friend.
After confessing our feelings for each other I wondered whether it
would be awkward, especially once I took the conversation down the
‘
it
would never work
’
route, as Richie had done very little to persuade me
I was wrong. Perhaps he agreed that the ghost of his relationship with
Kelly would always haunt us. Still, at least he had finally come and I could finally stop hating him for not visiting.

Just as visiting time was coming to an end, Richie was putting his
coat on and I was looking at him enviously, wishing it was me heading
back to a loving family, he threw me another curveball.

“
Jemma, do you hate me a bit less now?
”

“
I didn
’
t hate you, Richie, I was just mad at you!
”

“
And are you now?
”

“
Less so.
”

“
So do you no longer think its destiny that we should be together?
”

I thought he was mocking me.

“
Shut up, Richie
!
”

“
I
’
m being serious. Do you think its destiny that we should be
together?
”

I was shocked how pleased I felt about him not being playful, but
did not know how to react. Richie had taken the pin out the grenade
and thrown it towards me. I picked it up and launched it back.

“
Do you?
”

“
Who knows! Time will tell us. All I do know is that I will keep
coming here every week until you get out, as a friend and if fate decides
he wants to pair us up, how can we argue with fate?
”

“
Do you promise, you
’
ll visit?
”

“
I promise.
”

Richie smiled at me. I had forgotten how handsome he looked when
he smiled. I supposed I had pretended I hated him, but the reality was
that my love for him had not needed to be rekindled as it had never
died.

As I headed back to my cell, I just wanted the days to pass, to see
if he was a man who kept his promises. I soon found out he was. As for
destiny, she played with us for a while, but she knew in the end she was
never going to be able to keep us apart!

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Jemma was out of prison. For
over a year, I had visited her every week, without fail and now the wait
was over. The wait for Jemma anyway, the wait for the bus wasn
’
t. We
had been standing outside Styal prison for fifteen minutes and Jemma,
naturally impatient anyway, but more so having just been released from
prison, was getting fed up.

“
So, Richie, why exactly have you not managed to get yourself a car?
”

“
I
’
ve told you this! What would be the point in me having a car, if
I can
’
t drive it?
”

“
Still got that multi-tasking problem? Brake, clutch, accelerator,
gears, can
’
t do more
than one at once thing?
”

“
Don
’
t you take the mick! I don
’
t ever remember you passing your
test!
”

“
Yes, but I
’
ve got a better excuse than you though, haven
’
t I? I
’
ve
been banged up!
”

“
I have tried to pass! I failed last time for not being completely
stationary at a
‘
STOP
’
sign. Fifty metres from the test centre, I was!
I
’
d driven perfectly before that too.
”

Jemma laughed. It was comforting to see that the cloud above her
was moving away.

“
I don
’
t think you
’
ll get any medals for driving well for fifty metres!
”

“
I meant fifty metres from the end of t
he test, not fifty metres from
the start!
”

I looked at Jemma and she was smiling knowingly at me.

“
You knew what I meant!
”
I laughed.
“
Anyway, here
’
s our bus!
”

Over the previous twelve months, the bizarre love triangle that had
previously existed between Jemma, Kel
ly and myself, had just become
a platonic straight line between Jemma and I. Kelly was completely out
of the equation, she had not made contact with myself, Amy, Jemma
or anyone else from Ormskirk throughout that year. She may well have
still been in Singapore or, for all I knew, she could have been back in
England. I
’
d sometimes be in a pub or walking along a busy street, see
the back of someone
’
s head and be sure,
when they turned around, that
they were going to be Kelly. I was always wrong. As time passed and as
the friendship between Jemma and I grew, the less it mattered.

Probably to my parents relief, I never made it to Manchester
Polytechnic. Helen and Jim were always the ones who merited a place
at University, Caroline and I had less intellect, but I would argue, more
personality. After eighteen happy months at Andy
’
s Records, I managed
to get a new job as a
‘
Customer Adviser
’
at the Red Rose Building
Society in Maghull, a train journey from Town Green each morning
of one whole stop! Learning about mortgages and investments was
nowhere near as interesting to me as music, but the wages were half as much again, so I was prepared to learn about endowment policies, term
assurance, repayment mortgages, personal equity plans and the likes,
if it meant I had more spending money each month. At our branch,
there were six staff in total, five women and me, but the average age of
the ladies must have been well into the late forties, so it was more like
working with five mothers than five potential new girlfriends.

During Jemma
’
s final time in Styal, the barren romantic years
returned. I had no romantic successes but equally no romantic failures.
This may have seemed strange considering I was a decent looking lad
in the prime of life, but it was easy to explain. To put it bluntly, I was
head over heels in love with Jemma. Each time I visited Styal, the bond
between us seemed to grow and I had absolutely no interest in pursuing
anyone else.