Forever Is Over (33 page)

I cast my mind back. Although I was infatuated with Kelly, at
bedtime, sometimes, I still visualised Jemma when I needed a sleeping
pill of sorts. When I had seen Jemma
out and about in Ormskirk with her boyfriend, it was not the
boyfriend that I tended to look at. I thought hard.

“
Tall, skinny
…
that
’
s about it really.
”

Kelly became impassioned.

“
Ugly and boring would be my two words! I met him the other week
and he gave me a lecture like my Nan would, about the importance of
education and all that crap. I was looking at him and thinking,
‘
What the hell is our Jemma doing going out with this wazzock?
’

Excuse my French but he
’
s a fuckwit!
”

“
He works with her, doesn
’
t he?
”

I sort of pretended I only half remembered, just so the accusation
of stalking did not return.

“
Yes, at the Middlelands. He
’
s her boss!
”

“
Maybe it
’
s in her interest to
‘
go out
’
with him, then!
”

Kelly shook her head. Not in disagreement with me, more in
disbelief at her sister
’
s boyfriend choice.

“
She
’
s changed since she started there. I know you described her as
an arrogant bitch the other day, but at least she used to be feisty! This
Ray is just making her really, really boring!
”

I was enjoying every second of our date so far. Kelly was lively,
energetic and fun. I was proud to be seen with her too, every male
downstairs on the bus wanted to be me, I could tell. I deliberately went
up the stairs before her, it probably seemed like a lack of chivalry, but
she was wearing a cream dress above the knee and if I
’
d have followed
her up the stairs, my eyes would have followed the inside of that dress
up to her knickers and I would then have had to sit their uncomfortably,
waiting for things to shrink!

“
Kelly, I don
’
t ever want to mention this again, but can I just say
one thing?
”

Kelly looked right into my eyes. Ins
ide I shivered, her green eyes
were just wonderful. I was right the other day, I was the luckiest man
alive.

“
Richie, you have my permission to say whatever you want!
”

My mind then played tricks with me. Having permission to say
what I wanted was a teenage boys dream come true, my mind wanted
to say,

‘
I really, really, really want to shag you, Kelly Watkinson!
’
but luckily I didn
’
t say that, I said what I had initially intended to
say,

“
Whatever Jemma may think, it was not me that slept with her at
Joey Birch
’
s party.
”

Kelly took my hands in hers.
“
I believe you.
”

“
You do?
”

That shocked me, I just thought Kelly had forgiven me for sleeping
with Jemma, I didn
’
t think she actually believed that I hadn
’
t.

“
I think Jemma will always be unsure whether it was you or not, but
I know now that it wasn
’
t.
”

“
Great,
”
I held her hands even tighter,
“
that means a lot to me,
Kelly.
”

I leaned over and kissed her. It was just meant to be a peck on
the lips at first, but it naturally developed into a full blown snog. No
tongues, just a lovely, lingering kiss. Her full lips were amazing to kiss.
It was the nicest kiss I had ever had. Without a shadow of a doubt.
When I pulled away from her, I could see the bus driver looking at us through his reflective mirror.

‘
Jammy bastard!
’
he was probably thinking!

“
Wow!
”
Kelly said as she came up for air,
“
I wasn
’
t expecting that just yet!
”

“
I
’
ve waited very patiently for two years to have an opportunity to do that, Kelly, I couldn
’
t wait much longer!
”

Every second of that whole evening was perfect.
“
Rain Man
”
was
a brilliant choice of film, although I couldn
’
t help wondering how
attracted Kelly was to Tom Cruise. We even managed to keep our
lips off each other throughout, although our hands remained sweatily
clenched. After the film finished though, we went for a walk rather than
catch the first bus home as neither of us wanted the night to end. We
walked along for a while comfortably silent before Kelly asked,
“
Do you think you
’
ll go to Uni next year?
”

“
I hope so.
”

“
Will you go far away, do you think?
”

I hoped this was a leading question. I hoped this meant Kelly was
thinking we would still be together in twelve months time and she
didn
’
t want me moving too far afield.

“
Probably not. I want to go to Manchester.
”

Thirty five miles away. A grin covered Kelly
’
s face. I was right, this
was what she had been thinking!

“
To study what?
”
she asked.

“
History.
”

Kelly smiled even more,
“
I hate history!
”

“
How can you hate history?
”
I asked.
“
History covers everything! To
morrow this date will be history!
”

“
I don
’
t think you
’
ll study this date for your degree!
”

“
No, but every major event that has ever happened is his
tory!
How
can you hate history? History is knowledge!
”

Kelly smiled yet again, I smiled too. It was the night of smiles.

“
I like you, Richie Billingham! I like the way you think!
”

“
Well that
’
s good, Kelly Watkinson, because I pretty much worship
the ground you walk on!
”

If there had been any earwigging bystanders, this would have been
the point at which they would have stuck two fingers down their throat,
but there wasn
’
t, we were well and truly alone and anyway, there was no
point playing it cool, I had spent two years chasing Kelly. I think she
had a good idea about how I felt!

Kelly laughed.

“
Do you think you are the cheesiest man that ever lived?
”

“
Well, remember you once said that Risk is your middle name?
”

“
Yes.
”

“
Well mine is Cheddar!
”

“
Richie Cheddar Billingham
”
, Kelly said,
“
I like it!
”

Kelly reached over and kissed me. This was a dream.

“
Pinch me, Kelly!
”

This was not a mild sado-masochistic request.

“
Why?
”

“
Just pinch me.
”

Kelly gave me a gentle pinch on my left arm. She knew what I
was going to say but I was justifying my middle name. Live up to your
billing, that
’
s what I say!

“
No, I
’
m definitely not dreaming!
”

“
I knew this date would go well!
”
Kelly said
“
I
’
m psychic you see!
We
’
ll go well together you and I, you
’
re cheese and I
’
m crackers!
”

             
We caught the bus home, shared a lovely kiss at the bottom of
Kelly
’
s path, I promised to ring her in
the morning and then I ran the
three miles home, it didn
’
t seem far at all. It was a perfect summers
night. The stars illuminated the
sky and lit my pathways home.

             
Once I got home though, I couldn
’
t sleep as I kept replaying the
date in my head, over and over again. It had been absolutely brilliant.

Eventually, growing tired but with an active mind, I decided the solution

may be to have a little play. I checked over on Jim, he was flat out, not
quite snoring but breathing noisily. I slipped my hand under my pyjama bottoms, closed my eyes and pictured Kelly. I pictured us reaching her
front door and her saying,

“
Come in! No-one
’
s home, my Mum and sister are on holiday, it
’
s
just you and me
…”

Pictured us climbing the stairs to her bedroom, pictured Kelly
laying down on her bed, hastily removing her clothes until she was left
with just her bra and knickers. Pictured me falling hungrily on top of
her, kissing those lovely full lips over and over and over again.

I stopped. I had felt it again. That lump. There was definitely some
thing strange about that lump. There was definitely a lump on my left
testicle. No doubt about it. If it had always been there and my left ball
had always just had a weird lump on it, surely I would have felt it before?
Wouldn
’
t I? Maybe not. Maybe it had always been there and I was just
more aware of my body now I had a girlfriend. I decided against playing
around. I tried to go to sleep but my mind was now thinking about health
related issues rather than romantic ones. Maybe your privates were a bit
like your face, whereby you could get a lump for a few days and then it would just go away. Testicular acne. I had never heard of it but no-one
was going to come to school and talk about
“
Ball Zits
”
! I couldn
’
t really think of who I could ask about it without feeling embarrassed, so I just
made a mental note to keep an eye on it, then I went to sleep dreaming
of Kelly Watkinson and re-living that perfect date.

Richie (six months later)

“
What do you think it is?
”
I asked Jim, I had pulled my boxer shorts
down in front of him.

“
It
’
s a bollock! A hairy bollock!
”

“
I know it
’
s a bollock, you stupid knobhead! That on it. What
’
s that?
”

“
It
’
s a lump. Does it hurt?
”