Forever Family (Forever #5) (20 page)

I’d been coasting for a whole year, letting things happen rather than
making
them happen.

“Did you get Peanut’s ashes?” he asked. His fingers slid through the tangles in my hair.

“I did. They’re at my mother’s house. I put some in my necklace, though, with Albert’s.”

“Do I get to meet her?” he asked.

“Sure,” I said.

Definitely time for that. Time for a lot of things. A doctor visit, for one. Make sure the baby was okay. Confessing. Maybe I should do that one now.

“So, Darion…” I faltered. I felt crushed by my deceit. I had known I was pregnant for weeks, since Stella said it and I confirmed it with a test. But I’d kept the knowledge of his own child from him.

My stomach flipped and the nausea came on full force. I didn’t throw up often, which is why I’d ended up in Sarah’s sunflowers the other day, but I might right now.

I took a deep breath in, trying to calm myself. My nerves were probably making it worse.

“Tina?” Darion’s voice was edged with concern.

I sat up, holding the sheet to my chest. Leaving the warmth of him made me feel even sicker, and I shuddered. He sat up and drew me back against him. I relaxed as our skin connected once more.

“I haven’t told you something important,” I said. “And it was awful of me…” I stopped again. I’d screwed up big-time. Darion wasn’t the type to get angry, but he’d be so disappointed that I didn’t tell him. That I couldn’t pull myself out of my own self-centered mire of misery to think about how he might feel.

His hand slid along my ribs and down to my belly. “I’m a doctor, remember? I know a pregnant uterus when I feel it. I’m glad you got some time to yourself with this little one. You weren’t alone.”

I lost it then, hot tears falling on his shoulder. I felt everything at once. Relief. Intense admiration. Love. This man was willing to sacrifice anything to let me do what I needed to. I’d put off our wedding. Deserted my job. Obsessed over an artist friend. And then left him without a word.

Yet, he was here, explaining to me how it had been exactly the right thing to do.

“I think I might love you, Dr. Marks,” I said. My face was crushed against his chest.

“That’s a good thing, then,” he said. “Because I don’t think I could have stayed away much longer.”

“I won’t go away again,” I said.

“Sure you will,” he teased, his fingers stroking my neck. “You’ll take off to paint Niagara Falls or an African jungle and leave me with an infant in a baby sling and a freezer full of breast milk.”

I choked out a laugh. “I might, actually. You sure you’re up for this?”

Darion kissed the top of my head. “I have been since the day we met.”

~*´`*~

Darion pulled up to my parents’ house that afternoon, and I steeled myself. I’d given up on finding something in common with my mother. But we were talking again.
 

I didn’t know what I’d expected coming here. Certainly not that we’d be chummy friends, shopping for jeans that didn’t make our butts look big. But something.

I didn’t really know how to do this daughter thing.

Mom opened the door before we even got out of the car. She stepped onto the porch, my father behind her. He must have come back sometime this week. I hadn’t been in the main house in a few days, sneaking off early in the morning and returning late.

Like a teenager, I realized. Maybe I hadn’t grown up at all.

Mom enveloped me in a huge hug when we got to them. Dad shook Darion’s hand.

“You must be the doctor we’ve heard so much about,” Dad said.

I raised an eyebrow at him over Mom’s shoulder. I hadn’t said much at all to them about Darion.

“Nice to meet you, sir,” Darion said.

Now the teenager in me was really coming out, because I snorted. Sir? Darion was in his thirties! He didn’t have to call anyone sir.

Mom let go of me and turned to Darion. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

We went inside. When we had settled on Mom’s hideous floral sofas, she asked, “Are you going to stay a while?”

Darion answered without hesitation. “I have my rounds covered for a couple days. Then I do have to get back.” He took my hand. “You’ve been such a comfort for Tina that she’ll have to decide for herself whether she’s ready to leave or not.”

He was good. Mom beamed at him.

“A little early for a cocktail,” Dad said, “but we do have some beer.”

“I’m fine, thank you,” Darion said.

Dad sat down, and I figured that was it. End of any conversation or common ground. We could not be more different from the two people who had raised me, Mom in her cotton dress, and Dad in his business casual even at home.

But Darion was on it. “So, when did Tina start painting? She’s quite good.”

Mom was perfectly happy to prattle on about my whole history of art. I started feeling sleepy partway through her spiel, but Darion was attentive and alert.

“Let me go find some of her finger paintings,” my mom said, standing up.

I held out my hand. “That isn’t necessary,” I said. “We’ve probably got more pressing issues.”

She sat back down, sending a concerned look at my father.

Darion took my hand. When I didn’t speak up, he did. “We’re still in the planning stages of the wedding. I’m sure you’ll want to come out for that.”

“Just a JP thing,” I said quickly.

Darion nodded. “But I’m sure they’ll want to be there. Along with my father and sister, and I believe you met Corabelle.”

“She was a delightful girl,” Mom said. “Went to so much trouble to come down.”

“She is,” Darion said. His eyes met mine, as if to ask,
anything else?

“And I’m pregnant,” I blurted out. “So, we’ll probably do the wedding sooner rather than later.”

Mom sucked in a sharp breath.

“Well, then,” Dad said. “Maybe we should have that cocktail after all.” He got up and headed to the liquor cabinet.

This made me laugh out loud. “Really, Dad?”

Darion pulled me close to his side. “We’re not very far along. And we’ll make sure we have the best specialists watching for another cervical issue or premature labor.”

Mom was pale. “Do you think it could happen again?”

“I’ve looked into the issue pretty thoroughly since Tina told me about Peanut,” Darion said.

This was news to me. He had on his doctor face, the one that assures parents of kids with cancer that they are doing everything possible.

It was a good face.

“It’s a pretty simple stitch that they place around her cervix,” Darion said. “It’s very effective in keeping everything closed during the high-growth period of the baby’s gestation.” He looked at me warmly. “I’ll personally oversee everything that is done.”

“Oh, Tina, how lucky you are to have a doctor watching you now.” My mom rushed over to me and pulled me to her in an awkward hug. “It’s going to be just fine. I know it.” She released me to turn to my dad. “We’re going to have to fly out for the wedding, and then again when the baby is due. We can find a place to rent for a few weeks. If we skip our vacation this year, we’ll be able to swing that.”

They talked excitedly about their plans. For a moment, I felt regret that I’d come here and involved them. They’d be all up in my life again, just like when I lived here.

Darion accepted a drink from Dad and they shook hands. Mom embraced him. I watched all this, feeling awkward and weird. They liked him. They liked my life.

And that’s when I realized, this is what family does. It’s not about being chums or having long talks or common interests or even understanding each other.

Being part of a family is about showing up, no matter how hard it gets. It’s about knowing that somebody will always just plain
be there
.

Chapter 26. Corabelle

Jenny shook the spray can of colored glitter and aimed it at the table. “You know, Corabelle, we’ve all got a habit of getting knocked up before we’re married.”

I took the can from her before she got it everywhere and spread newspapers down. My best friend had the common sense of a grasshopper, but I loved her.

“Well, it seems to work out in the end,” I said. “Sometimes it takes some effort, but it works out.”

“You had it the worst,” she said. “I just had to search all over Tennessee. You had to wait four years. Imagine if Gavin hadn’t taken that astronomy class.”

“I think about it every day,” I said.

Phoenix babbled from her swing. I had come over to Jenny’s to finish the decorations for Tina’s wedding. We’d talked her out of going to the courthouse and were setting up an arch and some chairs on a cliff she said was important to her. Apparently some things between her and Darion went down at that spot. Duct tape was involved.

I hadn’t asked questions.

“I’m glad we’re getting more use out of these stars you made,” Jenny said. “Although I don’t see why they couldn’t have stayed pink.”

“Tina’s not big on pink.”

Jenny set one of the cardboard stars on the newspaper and aimed her spray glitter again. “Well, the rainbow has pink in it.”

I shook my head. Jenny was funny. We were doing our best to make the stars multicolored. Stella had said babies born after a loss were called rainbow babies, the beauty after the rain. And Tina had always worn rainbow-striped stockings when she was pregnant before, so it all fit.

The spray made a loud hissing sound, startling the baby, who began to cry. Jenny put down the can and headed over to her.

I guessed the stars were my job again.

I quickly added a section of green to each of the five stars, one large, two medium, and two small. They would hang from the arch over Tina and Darion. I was hoping to keep them from looking tacky or amateur. Darion could do any sort of wedding he wanted, but I guessed the personal homespun version appealed to them. Maybe it reminded him of his own mother. I was sad for both of them that she was no longer with them to see this day.

Gavin had not invited his parents to ours. One day we’d mend that breach. But if his father hadn’t changed, if he was still the angry, abusive person we’d known growing up, I could see why Gavin would keep him away. His sister would grow up eventually, and I’d make sure we had a relationship with her. Family was important.

I switched to blue and added another stripe to each star. They were turning out pretty nice, I thought, blending together in a smooth band of color.

Jenny approached, Phoenix on her shoulder. The baby was six months old now and almost sitting up. She beamed at me in that happy smile only older babies could do. The tiny bit of tooth gleamed from her gum. They grew so fast.

I pressed my hand against my belly self-consciously, and Jenny noticed.

“Taken a test yet?” she asked.

“Too soon,” I said.

“For you or for testing?”

I shrugged. “I’ll do it when I can handle it.”

“Worried there weren’t enough swimmers?”

I picked up the can of orange glitter paint. “His count was low, for sure,” I said. “We might not be able to conceive naturally. But we’ll just let what happens, happens. That’s why we’re not preventing, even though I’m still in school. Later on we will be able to afford in vitro or whatever we need to do.”

Jenny set Phoenix on a blanket on the floor, arranging her in the tripod position with her legs out and arms in the middle. The baby managed to sit for a few seconds before toppling over.

“You’ll get it, baby boo,” Jenny said. She put her on her tummy with a toy and surveyed my work. “You’re doing better than I would.”

I was on the last color. “I like it.” I shook the can and sprayed some purple on. “Might need a little more green.”

Jenny pointed to the largest star. “Yeah, on that one especially.”

I focused on the stars. Jenny moved away. I finished the purple and added a bit more green. That was it.

Jenny came back and stuck something close to my face. I moved back a step. “What is that?”

When I focused in, I saw it was a pregnancy test.

“Are you knocked up again already?” I asked.

“No, silly! It’s unused. One of my leftovers from Phoenix.” She waved it at me. “Come on. Let’s do it.”

“I couldn’t. Not without Gavin.”

She leaned against the table. “Now, think about it. I told you before I told Chance.”

“Because you didn’t know his last name!”

She held up her palm. “Details. And Tina’s friends in Houston knew before Darion.”

“What’s your point, Jenny?”

“I’m just saying that our girl circle clues in our dudes after the fact. Besties before testes.”

I snorted a laugh. “Did you really just say that?”

“I did!” she said. “Come on!” She waved it in front of me again. “I gotta know. I just gotta know.”

I looked at the test. I wasn’t even late yet, although I knew those tests could tell you a couple days before.

Was I ready to find out? This was the first month we’d tried. We knew the odds were against us.

I should wait for Gavin.

I should just wait.

But I took the stick.

“Yes!” Jenny cried. Phoenix looked up from her blanket, her face perplexed at her mother’s exuberance. Jenny scooped her up. “You’re going to have a playmate!”

“Maybe,” I said. Now that I held the test in my hand, my belly was tightening with fear.

“I’ll hold your hand,” Jenny said. “Let’s go make some pee.”

“It’s not first-morning urine,” I said. “It might not be valid.”

“Not listening!” Jenny said. “Less talking, more peeing!”

“You going to come into the bathroom with me?” I asked.

“Damn straight,” she said. “I’m not letting you chicken out.”

What had I gotten myself into?

Still, Jenny’s excitement was pretty catching. As she walked, she bounced the baby, who giggled infectiously.

I decided to just get it over with. A negative wouldn’t really mean anything, between being a day or two early and not using the best urine. I could handle it.

Jenny hopped up on the cabinet next to the sink and held Phoenix in her lap. “This is how you know you are real besties,” she told the baby. “If you pee on pregnancy sticks together.”

She went on to tell the baby about how she called me when she got scared, and I tuned her out as I focused on the stick. I hadn’t done this in a long time.