Forever (22 page)

Today I was volunteering with Elaine when one of the other women asked me a question. She said, “How do you do it, you and John? The way you look at each other, the love in your eyes-it’s the sort of thing usually reserved for newlyweds.” I smiled at her, and a thought occurred to me.

John, we really do have the most amazing marriage. So many times I find myself sharing our secrets with my friends. How I respect you with every breath I take and how you cherish me like I was the greatest gift God’s ever given you.

A smile tugged on John’s lips as he reread that last line. It was true. He and Elizabeth had been an example to so many people-and not because they never disagreed, but because somewhere along the way they’d learned the secrets to enjoying marriage, to loving each other actively and constantly. And in the process, they both won, every day that God had given them.

Sweet Elizabeth, taking the time to write this letter. The first thing he’d do when he saw her in heaven was thank her for leaving this piece of herself, these letters. The thoughts and glimpses of her heart.

He found his place once more.

I decided that the things we’ve learned about marriage boiled down to ten points, and if we got those right, everything else 169

would fall beautifully into place. I’ve shared this time and time again, but here I want to write those points down for our children. Because one day they’ll most likely get married, and they’ll find out, like we did, that marriage takes work. And it’s not until you understand how to be happy together that the good times can really begin.

John let himself drift back. Elizabeth was right. The early years had been rough for them too. The same way they were now for Luke and Reagan. John had been in med school, and they were struggling financially. On top of that, they were missing their firstborn son and on edge because they didn’t feel the freedom to talk about him. It wasn’t until they had met with the associate pastor at their church and brought their feelings into the open that they could finally let go of those feelings and start learning to love.

Another chill passed over him. So here was the real message from God, the real reason he’d found this letter first. The letter held Elizabeth’s advice about marriage. The exact bit of wisdom Luke needed now more than ever. Since Elizabeth wasn’t alive to tell Luke herself, God had directed John to this letter.

John felt the presence of the Holy Spirit in the room with him. You are so good to me, God. Thank You. This is just what I needed.

His hands shook a little as he continued reading.

Anyway, I thought it was important, so I wrote down everything we’ve learned over the years. The secret to our love. I guess. I’ve made copies, one for each of the kids. I’ll give it to them when they get married. I love you, John.

Thanks for making it so easy.

Your Elizabeth

Her voice hung in the hallways of his heart, and the ache hit him again. The one that served as a constant reminder that she was gone. She must’ve forgotten about the letters, too busy with wedding plans for each of the girls and too caught by surprise for Luke’s wedding. Still, God in all His goodness had brought her words to the surface just when they were most needed.

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John looked at the pages on the bed and wondered. He sorted through them. Sure enough, there weren’t five copies; there were six. Because always and ever Elizabeth had included Dayne. He had been in her heart from the moment she first held him until her dying day. Her firstborn. She wouldn’t have spelled it out.

wouldn’t have jeopardized the sanctity of their family. Especiall as far back as ten years ago. If anyone else had stumbled onto the envelope prior to learning about Dayne, they would’ve assumed only that she’d made one too many copies.

But that wasn’t the case. He knew her better.

Six children. Six copies. Period.

It was one of the ways she could keep Dayne’s memory alive in her heart, including him when she thought about the future of her children.

Tenderly, John folded the pages and put them back into the envelope. He would give the letters to the girls later.

But he would mail Luke’s copy tomorrow. His mother’s advice couldn’t be timelier. John remembered the hurt in Reagan’s voice, the way she’d broken down during their conversation earlier tonight. Yes, he would send the letter right away.

There was no time to lose.

First thing the next morning, John was on the way to the post office when he spotted someone parked on the road at the end of his driveway. Strange, he thought. People looking for him would’ve come up the driveway and knocked on the door. Same as if the person was looking for one of John’s neighbors. Maybe the driver was lost.

He headed down his driveway, and as he reached the parked car, a man jumped out and quickly held a black piece of equipment up to his face. For a split second John thought it was a rifle and the man was a lunatic trying to kill him. But as he made his turn, he realized that the piece of equipment wasn’t a gun.

It was a camera.

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T HE CHURCH service Sunday moved both Ashley and Landon.

Pastor Mark Atteberry had preached on service and how God’s people were created to serve. “The ‘one anothering’ that goes on throughout the Bible is proof enough. Every day you should wake up and ask God what He wants you to do that day, how you can serve someone else. Whatever your troubles, serving others is one of the greatest cures.”

When they’d collected Cole from his Sunday school classroom and Devin from the nursery, Ashley linked her arm through Landon’s. “That sermon made me think of you.”

“Oh yeah?” He had Devin’s baby carrier hooked on his other arm. Cole danced merrily in front of them as they walked.

“Yeah.” She nuzzled against his shoulder then released his arm. “That’s all you ever do. Serve people. Ever since I’ve known you.”

“Well … I’m not sure about that.” He grinned at her. “There was that one time at the last Fourth of July picnic when I tried my hardest to beat your dad in a fishing contest.”

“You still ended up serving, Daddy.” Cole turned around and flashed a smile at him. “Sort of.”

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“Is that right?” Landon rubbed the top of Cole’s head. “How so?”

“Because Papa won, and you had to go in the lake with all your clothes on.” Cole was reduced to giggles at the memory. “Maybe you didn’t mean it to happen, but that was fun for the rest of us.”

Ashley laughed too.

Landon set Devin’s baby carrier down and did a reenactment of himself splashing around the shallow lake water in his clothes. “How’s that?” He picked up the carrier again.

“Funny!” Cole laughed harder than before. “So funny.”

“Yep, that’s me.” Landon found his place next to Ashley again. “Anything to keep the rest of you happy.”

Cole’s giggles faded as he skipped toward their Durango.

“I’m serious, though.” Ashley looked up at Landon. “Pastor Mark spent the hour talking about service, and all I could think about was you. Out there fighting fires and saving lives, running off to New York City to find Jalen.” Her voice fell a notch. “Chasing after me, even when I was a complete brat.”

Landon smiled. “Is that what you were?”

“Sometimes.” She gave him a wary look.

“Sometimes?” He stopped and faced her. His eyes danced.

“Okay, a lot of times.” She loved the way they could stop on a dime and find that place of butterflies and magic, that crazy-inlove feeling that put them in their own world, even in the middle of the church parking lot.

“Yeah.” He touched her face and worked his fingers into her hair. “A lot of times.”

“But there you were … hanging around again and again for me.”

“For you?” He chuckled. “That was for Cole, you mean.” “Guys!” Cole was hopping up and down near the SUV.

“Hurry with all that mushy stuff. I have to go to the bathroom.” Ashley and Landon laughed.

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“We’re coming.” Then Ashley eased her hand along her husband’s neck and cradled the back of his head. She drew him closer and kissed him. “Okay, for Cole.”

There were no churchgoers nearby, so she kissed him again. “But see, you were thinking of everyone but yourself.”

He brushed his face against hers. “You mean like when you framed a roomful of old photographs so a sweet old lady could live with the memories of her husband, or when you bought a saddle on eBay so an old man could remember the days of his youth?” He smiled. “Like when you dropped everything to go to California with your dad so you could make sure your injured brother would feel cared for? And when you keep stepping in and helping with CKT without any pay just because you like watching kids enjoy theater?” He took a step back, and the teasing in his eyes changed to something much deeper. “I think you know a thing or two about serving.”

Ashley was touched more than Landon could ever know. That he had a servant’s heart was obvious. But her? The selfish middle daughter who left Bloomington for Paris and had a shameful affair with a Parisian artist? The one who came home pregnant and alone and often allowed her mother to raise her son so she could pursue her painting dreams? Even now she didn’t think of herself as particularly helpful or generous.

But Landon did.

She thought about Dayne as they drove home, packed a picnic, and headed for Lake Monroe. If anyone needed service it was Dayne and Katy. He was still in the coma with no sign of coming out of it. And Katy still needed help getting their house together. Because one day Dayne would wake up and he would talk and think like the Dayne he’d been before the accident, and come Thanksgiving he would need a house to live in. Ashley had an idea that could make all the repairs come together by then. Her dad was going to meet them at the lake, and Kari and Brooke and their families too. Temperatures were in the eighties173

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summer’s last glorious ride before fall would take the reins Before the afternoon ended, Ashley wanted to tell them what she’d been thinking.

They reached the familiar picnic spot first, and when they were settled at a table halfway between the parking lot and the water, Landon set up a canopy to keep the sun off them.

Devin was awake and cooing. He was jabbering in a precious language all his own, and he laughed whenever Cole was around.

“Can I catch him a snake, Mommy?” Cole peered in at his brother and patted his forehead.

“Babies don’t like snakes.”

“He might.” Landon shared a conspiring look with Cole. “Go ahead. Just stay there in the grass where we can see you, okay, buddy?”

“Okay!” He looked back at Devin. “Wait’ll you see the snakes they got out here.

The big ones are four feet long!”

Ashley let out an exasperated groan. “All snakes must go to Daddy before they go to Devin. That’s Mommy’s rule.”

Landon nodded, but he grinned at Cole. “Bring ‘em here first, all right?”

“I will!” With that, Cole was off for the patch of grass a few yards away.

“He’s pretty good at catching snakes, you know.” Landon sat down on the edge of the table and put his finger out near Devin. The baby grabbed hold of it and smiled.

“He loves you.”

“Yeah, well, I love him back.” Landon leaned in and kissed the baby’s head. He glanced at Ashley over his shoulder. “Don’t worry about the snakes. They’re harmless. Garter snakes, nothing more.”

Ashley made a face. “I just wish he’d stick to frogs.”

Landon laughed. He got up and took a few steps in Cole’s direction. “Maybe I better go help.”

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“See … there you go. Always serving.”

He waved at her, brushing off her comment, and jogged toward Cole.

Over the next half hour, the others arrived. Maddie and Hayley and Jessie joined the hunt for a snake. Then Kari’s husband, Ryan, joined in.

They asked Peter to help, but he declined. “I saw enough frogs and snakes in biology courses. I’ll sit here with the women.”

“And me.” Ashley’s father was making his way toward them. “I’ll sit with the women too. My snake-catching days are over. The old knees can’t take all that crawling around.”

Everyone laughed, and Brooke shrugged. “I thought we came to the lake so the kids could cool off in the water.”

“Oh no. That would be too logical.” Kari held on to little Ryan’s hand. He wanted to play with the big kids, but he still needed constant attention.

Otherwise he’d eat a rock or wander up to the parking lot. Whenever the family was together lately, Kari spent most of her time chasing after her son.

Ashley grinned at the picture her sister and nephew made together. Soon enough, that would be her with Devin. Already she couldn’t believe how fast he’d grown.

Just yesterday she’d found a picture of him at four weeks old. She put it in a box of images to include in a painting someday… when the demands of CKT and raising a baby and helping Katy Hart with the lakeside house all let up.

Which reminded her… maybe now was a good time to tell her family the plan she’d been cooking up, the way they could serve the older Baxter son. She was about to make an announcement when Cole stood straight up and raised both hands in the air. Stretched between them was the largest garter snake Ashley had ever seen.

“It’s the biggest one ever!” Cole jumped around, settling down only because he seemed to become suddenly worried that

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the snake might not enjoy the commotion. He hovered over it, and in seconds he was surrounded by his cousins.

“Cole, that’s so cool!” Jessie’s face was shining with admiration. “Can I touch it?”

Hayley and Maddie weren’t so sure. They kept their distance and only ventured near when Landon and Ryan assured them the snake wouldn’t bite.

“Please, Daddy, can I show Devin?” Cole asked.

Ashley caught Landon’s eye and shook her head. “Please,” she mouthed.

“How about just from a distance?” He shot her a sheepish smile. Then he led the group of snake hunters over to the group of nonhunters. Ashley had already fed Devin, and he was still awake. Landon stopped and held up his hand. “No closer than this, Cole.”

His cousins formed a half circle around him and everyone watched.