Forbidden (14 page)

“You must’ve been scared to death,” Kayla murmured.

“No, not until I realized Liam’s horse was gone.
Then
I was scared to death.” He paused. “I saw that the gate was open, and put two and two together. It didn’t take more than ten minutes to find him.

“I was madder’n hell, but he was so damn proud of what he’d done, I couldn’t yell at him the way I wanted to. I knew that if I’d’ve been home, I would have done the exact same thing he did. I realized right then that he wasn’t a baby anymore. I knew he had to make his own decisions and take his own risks, and that I wasn’t going to be able to follow him around to make sure he always made the safest choices.”

His battle was a losing one, and as Kayla watched, his tears overflowed, running down his face. He didn’t even try to wipe them away.

“I didn’t think twice when he told me he was coming to San Salustiano,” Cal told her, his tears falling faster now. “I didn’t know where the hell it was, didn’t even think to ask. Some kind of political trouble, he told me, and I figured no big deal. I teased him about the tough working conditions he’d have on a tropical island—girls in bikinis and piña coladas on the beach. I didn’t even tell him to be careful. Next thing I knew, I’ve got a telegram telling me the kid’s dead.”

His voice broke, and he covered his face with his hands. Kayla could feel tears streaming down her own face as she tried to comfort him.

She couldn’t say anything—she didn’t want to say anything. His tears would help him to heal, so she simply held him while, as for probably the very first time in his entire adult life, Cal let another person see him cry.

Cal woke up in the middle of the night disoriented and confused. He was sleeping in a double bed with someone in his arms and…

Kayla. It was Kayla who was lying next to him, her leg thrown possessively across him as she slept.

Memories of the evening before came rushing back. The intruder in her room. His incredible fear of losing her. His overwhelming grief.

Kayla stirred slightly, snuggling in closer to him.

She hadn’t wanted to be alone—he couldn’t blame her. She’d come into his room with him, and they’d locked the doors and he’d held her while she slept. Or maybe she’d held him while he’d slept. Either way, they both had been in need of a pair of comforting arms.

She shifted again, this time rousing. “Cal?”

“I’m right here,” he murmured.

She pulled her leg off him, half sitting in the darkness. “Who’s in the room?”

He sat up too. “No one. Just us.”

“I was dreaming…” She took a deep breath. “Do the lights work? Can we please turn on a light?”

Cal tried the lamp that was next to the bed. “The power’s still off.” He reached for one of the candles and the matches he’d left on the bedside table and quickly lit it, holding it up so that the light shone around the room.

No one was there, of course. Kayla
had
been dreaming.

With a sigh of relief, she slumped down next to him. The tension in her shoulders was visible, and Cal pulled her into his arms. He could feel her heart pounding and he rubbed her back, trying to calm her down.

“You want to tell me about it?”

“The dream? No thanks.” She laughed, a short burst of disgusted air. “Stephen King would’ve been proud. It was a master level nightmare of his caliber.”

“I hardly ever remember my dreams,” Cal mused. “It’s funny, but back when I was a little kid, I used to have such vivid ones. Good dreams, though, not nightmares. I had this recurring dream that started with me falling, but then, before I hit the ground, I realized I could fly, and I just sailed over the ranch. It was amazing.”

“I still dream that I’m falling.” Kayla lifted her head to look up at him. “It scares me to death—I wake up shouting.”

Cal smiled down into her eyes. “Next time, try to fly.”

As he gazed down at her, he saw realization creep into her eyes. Awareness. Anticipation. It crackled around them like some living, breathing creature. She was in his arms, leaning against him. He was still stroking her back soothingly, trailing his fingers from the soft curls at the back of her neck down to the waistband of her shorts.

But then something changed. And even though he didn’t touch her any differently, his soothing caress seemed electrified, and achingly, shockingly, intimate.

Her gaze flickered to his mouth, inches away from hers. “Are you going to kiss me?” she asked breathlessly.

Her blunt question surprised him, but he answered her just as honestly. “I was thinking about it.”

Her eyes were wide and serious. But then she lifted her mouth the scant few inches that separated them. Her eyelids flickered closed as she brushed her lips against his in the gentlest of kisses.

Cal closed his own eyes, dizzy with pleasure at the sensation of her tongue softly outlining his lips, sweetly and so delicately taking possession of his mouth.

He groaned, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss, wanting more,
needing
more. Shock waves of desire exploded inside him as he kissed her even harder. He filled his hands with the softness of her body, letting his passion take control.

But then he pulled back, afraid he’d pushed too hard, gone too far.

He gazed down at her, his heart pounding just as loudly as it had earlier, when he’d fought her attacker. She was breathing raggedly too, and when she spoke, her voice was no louder than a whisper.

“In case you were wondering, that was definitely a come-on.”

Cal had to laugh at that. Still, despite his smile, he knew that the sadness he could see in her eyes was mirrored in his own. “We’ve come full circle, haven’t we, Kayla?”

She nodded, searching his eyes. “I don’t want to push you into doing anything you don’t feel ready for.”

“Shouldn’t that be my line?”

She looked so beautiful with the candlelight playing across her delicate cheekbones and gracefully shaped lips. She closed her eyes briefly, and her lashes looked ridiculously long and dark resting against her cheeks. And when she looked up at him again, he knew without a doubt that he could happily spend the rest of his life gazing into her incredible eyes. And still he didn’t know…

“I think I’m a little worried about, well, what you’ve been through,” he said awkwardly, “and—”

Kayla lightly pressed her fingers to his lips. “And I think it’s time for you to stop worrying so much. I’m ready. Are you?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m ready too.”

Kayla searched his eyes—for what he didn’t know. But whatever it was, she seemed satisfied, because she leaned forward and kissed him again.

Again he could feel every pounding beat of his heart sending heat and desire pulsing to his fingers and toes. Sweet Lord, he wanted her.

And she’d made it more than clear that she wanted him.

The power was off in the hotel—the video camera was out of commission, but the listening device could very well still be operational, and there was no way he was going to make love to this woman with God knows who listening in.

He pulled away from her to turn on the radio, thankful it ran on batteries, tuning it quickly to the salsa music of the radio station on one of the neighboring islands. He set it near the planted bug, where it would mask their conversation and keep anyone from overhearing them. And, on second thought, he took one of the towels that the maid had brought and covered the camera lens. Just in case.

Kayla had turned to watch him, propped up on one elbow. If she had looked nervous, he might have turned away. But she gazed at him with such certainty and such incredible expectation in her eyes. He couldn’t have kept from lying down next to her and pulling her into his arms if he’d tried.

She reached for him so willingly, her mouth so sweet, her arms so welcoming. She was a perfect fit against him, her legs intertwining with his naturally as he kissed her. He kissed her lazily, taking his time, content to lose himself in the softness of her lips. Lord, it felt so right. Holding her, kissing her like this was like coming home.

She slipped her hands underneath his shirt, and the sensation of her fingers against his skin was beyond description. With one swift pull he yanked his T-shirt over his head and tossed it onto the floor. She ran her hands across his back, sighing as if she got pleasure simply from touching him. She did. He could see it echoed in her eyes. She ran her fingers across his chest and down his shoulders and arms, smiling slightly as she met his eyes.

He tugged at her shirt, and she helped him pull it over her head. She was wearing that same nearly transparent black bra, and he allowed himself to look at her in the candlelight, lightly tracing the lace edging with one finger.

She was still watching him, and he looked into her eyes, silently asking permission to touch her. She smiled again, and opened the front clasp of her bra. Permission granted.

And then he couldn’t keep from touching her, from cupping the exquisite softness of her breasts in his hand, from burying his face in her, from kissing, tasting, inhaling her.

Her legs tightened around his, her hips shifting to press against his and he was instantly, totally, frantically on fire.

He could feel her hands reaching for the buckle of his belt, and his heartbeat nearly tripled in time. He’d never wanted a woman like this before. He never knew these feelings were possible. He’d never had a dream of his own be so close to coming true.

He forced himself to slow down. He was bigger than Kayla, stronger. God knows he wanted her, but he didn’t want to hurt her. Or scare her.

He had to take it slow. He had to make sure she knew she was in charge, that she could stop him from going any further at any given moment.

He rolled onto his back, pulling her on top of him, giving her control. She sat up, straddling him, gazing down at him as she unfastened the top button of his jeans.

Somehow she’d taken off her shorts, and she was now wearing only a pair of black panties as she worked on unfastening his zipper. She smiled, almost shyly, and the effect was mind-blowing. Her body was sheer perfection. She was beautiful, and she was giving herself to him.

She finally wrestled his zipper down and he cried out with pleasure at the exquisite touch of her hand. But he wanted more.

He couldn’t keep from taking hold of her knees and pulling her forward until they fit together perfectly, with only his shorts and her panties as a barrier between them.

She looked down at him and smiled again and he knew that tonight he was going somewhere he’d never been before. Tonight his heart was involved.

And then, Lord, he wanted those clothes that were still between them gone. And she did too. She pulled back, off him, dragging his jeans down his legs, pulling his boots from his feet. He kicked himself free of his shorts, then reached for her, pulling her panties down the satiny smoothness of her thighs.

He had no protection. That knowledge damn near stopped him cold, but Kayla was there, reading his mind as clearly as if he’d spoken aloud. “In my bag,” she said, pointing to the top of the desk where she’d left it earlier that evening.

He moved quickly across the room. Instead of searching through her fanny pack, he tossed it into her outstretched hands. She quickly found what she was looking for and held it out for him.

She sat on the bed, legs folded underneath her, watching him as he covered himself. The unabashed heat in her eyes was enough nearly to scald him as her gaze traveled down his body, taking in every little last detail of his nakedness.

Cal felt his heart kick further into overdrive. He was well aware that some women found him attractive. He’d seen desire and admiration in women’s eyes before, but it had never affected him quite like this. He liked knowing that Kayla wanted him. It was a powerful feeling. A good feeling. He just wished he could measure whether or not she loved him as well by looking into her eyes.

He supposed he could tell her how he felt, gauge her reaction.

Or he could show her. That would be far easier—with far less risk involved.

She reached for him and he went into her arms, falling back with her on the bed. And then he could think of nothing but loving her, completely, totally.

He was lost in her kisses, lost in the silky smoothness of her skin, lost in the bottomless depths of her eyes, in the softness of her breasts, in the sweet curve of her smile.

She reached between them, encircling his arousal with her hands and smiling at the eruption of heat that had surely exploded from his eyes. He explored with his own hands as well, and nearly laughed aloud at her sudden intake of breath, at the way her body responded instantly to his touch.

Kayla was more than ready for him, sweetly slick with heat and need. She lifted her hips as if to meet him halfway, but he pulled back. This wasn’t the way he’d wanted the first time to be. He wanted her to feel unconditionally and undisputedly in control as they made love. He wanted her on top, orchestrating each movement and determining every intimacy of their joining.

He wanted to look into her eyes and see no hesitation, not even a minuscule flicker of uncertainty or fear.

Again he rolled onto his back. She followed, as he’d hoped she would. The softness of her stomach was pressed against his arousal, her breasts against his chest as she kissed him. He ached to be inside her, but this had to be her show. She kissed his face, his chin, his neck, up to his ear, and then she whispered, “You’re making sure I don’t feel at all threatened.”

“I’m trying, darlin’. Tell me what else I can do to help you.”

She pulled back slightly to gaze down into his eyes, and Cal saw that her own eyes were filled with tears and something else—something warm and soft and impossibly tender.

Her voice caught slightly as she continued. “You know, if you’re not careful, I could fall for you in a very big way.”

His own voice suddenly barely worked. “Please do.”

She shifted her hips and Cal caught his breath, feeling her softness and heat as she guided him into position beneath her. One upward thrust of his hips would bring him paradise, but he didn’t move. He could feel beads of sweat forming on his upper lip and forehead, but still he didn’t move. He just looked up into Kayla’s green eyes and waited for her.