For Your Sake (25 page)

“Tried to.  Never came to see me inside.  When I was released, I tried to track her down. Was able to locate the last family she lived with who said she took off when she turned eighteen, which was right before I got out.  Didn’t have the money to go around looking for her, so I gave up.”  He reached up to take one of her hands.  Turning his head, he pulled it to his lips and kissed her fingers, the prickliness of his beard sending a tingle up her arm.  “Now I’m really famished, darlin’.”

He either really was or wanted to drop the subject of his sister for some reason.  And considering how much of his life he just confessed, Eva wasn’t going to press for more.  “Me too.”  She scooted back off the other side of the bed while he got up and gathered his clothes.  Picking her good clothes up, she laid them over a chair in the corner then went to her bureau.  Quietly they dressed, their backs to each other until Ben turned to face her as she was pulling a navy blue t-shirt over dark gray lounge pants.  She went to close her underwear drawer when he stuck his hand in, pulling out the red thong.  His eyes twinkled.  “Interesting.”

She pulled them out of his hands.  “Not my preference,” she smirked, putting them back in the drawer.

“Why’d you buy them?”

“Didn’t. 
They
were from an old boyfriend.”

A dark-blonde brow went up.  “Must still have feelings to keep something which ain’t your preference.”

“Honestly,” she paused a bit, “they’re just…..there.  I don’t think about them or him.  I’m the one who broke it off.”  Now it was her turn to change the subject.  “C’mon.  Build a fire while I cook.”

In the kitchen, Eva cut up potatoes to boil then sliced red peppers and onions.  Ben chugged one of the beers then went out to bring some wood in.  She always thought her past story was tragic, but after listening to his own, she felt a bit silly.  He lost both parents to horrible deaths before he was a legal adult and his only other family was MIA.  He shared probably the worst part of his life, yet she felt there was so much more she didn’t know.  But it hadn’t even been two weeks since this man came into her life.  She made the decision to go with this and would take it one day at a time.

After the vegetables were sautéed, she removed them then tossed the marinated meat in until the teriyaki boiled down and carmelized before adding the vegetables back.  She offered him another beer after he came in to close the slider then poured herself another glass of wine.  Draining the potatoes, she mashed them, added milk, butter, salt and pepper then spooned a bit onto two plates, piling the meat and vegetables on top.

Balancing two plates on her arm, she grabbed napkins, forks and her wineglass and walked into the living room.  Ben had pulled the chair they had sex in the night before forward to sit right in front of the fireplace which was roaring with a crackling, warm flame.  “Guess you want to eat in here?”

He stood up, looking as if he’d been caught doing something wrong, then took both plates from her.  “Nah.  We can go in the kitchen.”

She shook her head, placing everything else on the low, rectangular coffee table then pulled it forward.  “Think I like it better here.”  She sat on the area rug covering the newly finished floors, tucked her legs to the side then grabbed her wine.  “Join me.”

He smiled almost relieved, joined her on the floor and handed over her plate.  With the fireplace to the right of them, the light it gave off outlined every inch of his body – the way his hair hung loose to barely touch his shoulders, the stubble filling in his goatee, much darker than his hair, his arms covered in dusky skin and a sprinkling of hair, pulled tight over tendon and muscle.  Other than the two tattoos inside each arm, he was void of any other adornment or jewelry.  Considering the extensive hardware Taz had pierced in his face and the amount of rings this Aero wore, Ben seemed to prefer the simple look.  Just what she’d expect from a neat-freak, claustrophobic.

“Wow, this is good, darlin’.”  He swallowed then swigged his second beer to almost empty.  “You cook like this a lot?”

“Not for myself.  Single girl cuisine.”  Even though they shared some personal stuff, plus three rounds of hard sex, Eva felt a weird loss for words right now – until Ben filled in the gap.

“What’re your plans for the rest of the house?”

She was glad to talk about that.  “Let’s see – outside I want to take that big evergreen down in the back.  Then plan out where to plant in the spring, maybe even a small greenhouse for herbs and vegetables. Was going to tackle the peeling border and paint in my bedroom next since it’s a cheap fix, or even work on turning the turret into an office, but I think I should concentrate finishing downstairs first.  Which mostly is that ghastly kitchen.”

“Lot you can get done inexpensively, Eva.  Keep in mind the age of the house – don’t go too modern. You could paint the cabinets and just replace the hardware and hardwood instead of linoleum or tile.  Too cold.   For the counters you can do composite granite – looks the same and wears well– and cut down how much you need by installing a butcher block top next to the stove.  I could build one at the lumber yard.  Got a lot of connections with other subcontractors so and can haggle rates.  Keep the cosmetic stuff down and put your money towards good appliances.”

All he needed was a pair of wings and Eva would’ve thought he was her remodel angel.  “Wow, I probably never would’ve thought to go that route.  I like those ideas.”  She took a sip of wine and gave him a side glance.  “Think I will consider you for my handyman after all.”

“Couple of good fucks and you wanna treat me like the help?”

“That’s not what I meant…..”

“I know, darlin’.” He softly clipped her chin with his knuckle.  Just teasing.”

She finished her wine then gazed up at him.  Damn, those eyes of his – golden brown and sensual – looked even more beautiful with the glow of the fire beside him.  “Ben, I…....”

“Second thoughts, Eva?”

“No.  That’s just it.  I mean, I’ve spent more time with you in two weeks than I have with my best friend the two months.  I wrapped myself around my business and this house since my dad died, playing it safe.  So doing this…..with you…..”

She didn’t finish, as he took her chin between his fingers.  “Eva, trust me – I’m the last person who should be doing this too.  My past, my……present, last thing I need is attachment.  But, dammit darlin’,” he let go and looked into the fireplace, “I saw you that night, then the next day and……” he swung his gaze over to her, “I couldn’t get those gorgeous blues out of my head.”

“Guess we’re both plunging into uncharted waters.”

“You more than I, Eva.  My world’s a bit different than yours.  Easier for me to adapt to a civilian lifestyle than the other way around.  But if you do this – with me – you got to accept that.”

“How can I accept what I still don’t know about?”

He gave her a serious look.  “Trust, Eva.  You need to trust me.  I won’t be able to tell you everything, just what I think you’ll need to know – that’s it.  That’s where you have to trust me.  And….” that serious look became dark, “I need to be able to trust you.  You got anything you think I need to know, don’t keep it from me.  Just like what you overheard at Ticker.  I’m a pretty easy, going guy – but make no mistake, Eva.  I draw the line at betrayal.”

That line alone should’ve caused her to end whatever this was right now – break off clean and early, with the memory of two, hot nights of sex to sustain her.  But she wasn’t a ‘secrets’ girl – never was.  Other than her mother – which she was truthful about – she had no skeletons in her closet.  Like his guy’s search of her, she was pretty boring and uneventful.  He was just being honest and upfront and, deciding to take that plunge, didn’t look further into it.  “I understand.”

“You sure?”

“You?”

He nodded.  “We’ll work it out, take it slow, give each other space, but Eva…..?”

“Yes?”

He crawled to her, laying her down on the carpet with the heat of the fireplace adding to her already flushed skin.  “Don’t expect to sleep alone too many nights.”

Chapter Fifteen

              Monday morning ushered in a new week, the meeting Ben dreaded then six hours at the mill.  He was up, showered, dressed and out by nine a.m., pulling into Tippitt Over-Two Plaza and in front of Clarks for a coffee and bagel.  Even as he backed into a spot in front of the café, his eyes were on the maroon Jeep parked across the lot.  Eva had offered him to stay last night and, as much as he wanted to, he meant what he said about giving her space. He liked her.  He really did, and for once cared about not fucking something up.  So instead of another night in her bed, he gave her a kiss to remember, exchanged cell numbers and went home to his own

              Now, he leaned against his bike and ate, one eye on her store, the other two doors down at Ticker.  If what Eva overheard Joey Perrone saying yesterday had to do with the aftermath of Dewey’s demise, then it was possible the Santagio’s know the club’s onto them. Which would mean he’d have to explain
how
this was overheard when they discussed at the table at ten.

              Crushing the wax paper in his fist, Ben chugged his coffee while watching movement through Eva’s store front.  He told her he wasn’t in any kind of trouble which could find its way back to her and he meant to keep it that way.  This was still new to both of them, so a clandestine relationship had to suffice for now.  Plus, it was kind of hot.

              Mounting his bike, he figured he hung out long enough to where it was quiet to his liking and headed to the clubhouse.

~~~***~~~

             
Eva’s ears perked up when she heard it them.  She remembered clearly from that first night she saw him, tearing across the road in front of her, chrome straight pipes spewing out angry fumes and an ear splitting noise.  As she opened the register, that very same sound vibrated behind her through the display window.  A warmth swept through her when she saw Ben pull up in front of Clarks and dismount.  Fully clothed in jeans, lumberjack shirt and cut, she couldn’t help but smile over what she knew was underneath it all. 

              And she would’ve known it again last night, but he was keeping to his word to move whatever it was between them along at a pace which didn’t crowd either of them.  At first she figured it was his closet claustrophobia kicking in, but then realized he was doing the right thing.  She didn’t want to appear needy or clingy, although she agreed to have him a key made so he wouldn’t have to lurk or break in. With the choice she made to refrain getting too close, the last two days with Ben under her roof was……..nice.  As intimate as they got, she didn’t want to wind up pushing him away too.  And, obviously, neither did he and insisted they go their separate ways for the night.

              At nine thirty, the bell jingled signaling Cyndi’s entrance, sans dark, hangover-covering sunglasses.  Instead, the young woman was bright-eyed, hair flat-ironed to glossy smoothness, pretty makeup, black dress pants and a pink cardigan with pearl buttons.  Eva had to do a double take.  “Morning.  You look…….nice.”

              “Thanks.”  Cyndi appeared breathless, pulling off her coat and looping it through a gym bag.   “Sorry I’m late.  I wanted to get here first and open so you wouldn’t have to.”

              Something about Eva’s young charge was different.  Not just her hair and clothes, but the way she conducted herself.  She had begun to take her job a little more seriously after Eva put her in charge of the display, then slowly giving her a little more responsibility.  She began showing up earlier, wanting to learn how to open, staying late to close, offering to re-do displays and began acting more professional.  Eva knew there was a gem under that unpolished stone and all it took was a little faith and TLC.  “Not a problem,” Eva said, waving her over.  “Come finish up the drawer.  I need to see what old stock’s still left in back and put it aside.  The first shipment of that new line’s arriving later this afternoon and I need room.”

              “I know.  I saw it on the schedule.”  Cyndi quickly switched places with her boss and immediately took over.  “I brought a change of clothes in case you need me to reorganize the stock room.

              Eva suspiciously looked around, waiting for the ‘real Cyndi’ to pop out somewhere.  The girl really was showing some ambition, and preparedness.  No way was Eva going to be climbing shelves in a short, gray skirt, black boots and her favorite sky-blue, cashmere sweater.  “Good idea.  And….good thinking.”

              Cyndi looked proud of herself and Eva knew a little praise went a long way.  As she put the drawer in the register, she turned and looked out the window across the lot.  “Hey, there’s that biker again.  The who came in looking for you.”

              Oh, Eva already knew he was out there, but the last thing she wanted to draw was unwanted attention.  Cyndi’s outward appearance may have changed, but she was still a twenty –two year old who would enjoy some juicy gossip about her boss canoodling with a member of the local MC.  “Oh?”  Her non-chalance sounded…..lame.

              “Across the way.  In front of Clarks drinking coffee and……staring over here.”  Cyndi gave her a twinkling look.  “Is something going on between the two of you?”

              She gave the girl her best ignorant look.  “He got my car fixed.”  It wasn’t an admission or a denial, as Cyndi continued to gawk out the window.  “Stop staring, Cyn.  You don’t stare at those guys.”  Ha!  Like she was an expert on what the MC did and didn’t like.