For You (The Shore Book 2) (17 page)

She was drawing in one of her sketchpads, working on another possible tattoo. It’d been a while since she’d gotten her last one and she was starting to itch for another. This would be number three.

Her mind was busy concentrating on the outline when she thought she heard the doorbell ring. The music coming from the speakers was loud enough to nearly block out all other sounds and clear her mind, so she wasn’t exactly sure.
 

Then she heard it again.

Rising from the couch, she walked to the stereo and shut off the music from her phone. The doorbell rang again. Obviously whoever was out there knew she was home.

There was a look of surprise on Madison’s face as she opened the door. She wasn’t sure who to expect – Declan, maybe?
 

“Issy? Hi,” Madison greeted her in confusion. “What’s up?”

While the color had returned to Issy’s face since the last time Madison saw her, the girl still said nothing. In fact, she looked nervous.

“Are you alright?”

Issy nodded silently.

Madison looked at her questioningly.
 

Did she just decide to pop over but not say anything?

Hoping for some sort of verbal response, she tried another angle. “Did I forget something at the gym?” Although Madison couldn’t imagine Issy coming all this way just to return something. She was dating the boss and had been at the gym nearly every day the last couple weeks. Issy knew that. She could pick up whatever she left behind another day.

Issy shook her head no.

“Issy, are you okay?” Madison was starting to get concerned.
 

This time Issy nodded slowly.

Unsure of what was happening or what to do next, Madison was about to invite her in when Issy shifted her feet, looked down and finally spoke.

“Did you have a daughter? A baby you gave up for adoption?” Her voice was quiet and nervous.

It was Madison’s turn to go white. “Why would you ask me that?”

“Because I think … I think you’re my mom.” Issy looked up from her feet and finally met Madison’s eyes. “I think I was that baby.”

Madison stared at the girl as she ran her hand over her face unable to believe what she was hearing. Her hands started to shake.

“Can I come in?” Issy asked timidly.

Nodding, unable to speak, Madison stood to the side so Issy could enter the house.
 

What the …?

How would she know?

Why would she think …?

Issy walked to the couch but didn’t sit as Madison joined her in the living room.

“It was a baby girl you had, right?” Issy asked and waited for Madison to respond. When she didn’t, Issy continued. “On May 3, 1996? So she would be –“

“Nineteen,” Madison finished.

She looked at Issy and started to see a resemblance. The girl had red hair, but it was darker than her own. Her eyes didn’t match Madison’s blue color, but the longer she looked into them, the more she saw Jeremy’s green eyes looking back at her.

The realization caused a twinge in her heart.

Needing a minute to collect her thoughts, Madison finally managed, “Can I get you anything? Something to drink?”

“No, I’m good,” Issy responded quietly.

It had been more than nineteen years since she gave birth to that little girl. Madison never knew who her daughter had been given to or where she had gone to live. She had signed the papers and tried to never look back. She tried not to think about the baby she had given away.

Madison nodded again and excused herself to the kitchen for a glass of water. She really wanted something stronger, but didn’t think getting sloshed was such a great idea. At least, not right then.

She wasn’t sure even sure if Issy
was
her daughter. More than one person was born that day, other people shared that same birthday. And surely there were several nineteen-year old young women with dark red hair and green eyes.

Collecting herself, she walked back into the living room to find Issy looking at the pictures on the mantle.

“You’re right.” Madison said as Issy turned to face her and walked to the couch, taking a seat. She took a deep breath as she readied herself to say the words she had never said out loud before. “I gave birth to a baby girl on May 3, 1996.”

“That’s my birthday,” Issy replied simply, almost as though that was the only evidence she needed.

Madison was quiet again. Visions of that day popped into her mind and her stomach started to curl just like it had when they took her daughter away. She could still hear the baby’s cries in her mind.

“I don’t mean for this to sound harsh,” she felt like she needed to soften what she was about to say, “but what makes you think I’m your mother?”

Issy reached for the envelope in her purse. She removed the contents and gently unfolded the papers. Slowly, she handed her a single sheet.

Madison gasped.

On the paper was a drawing – the one she had finished while in the early stages of labor.

It was a sketch done in pencil of a bull in a field of flowers.
 

“I’ve got something for you.”

I look up at Ellie from the swing as she smiles down at me. “You didn’t have to do that. You’ve already done so much.”

“Oh, this is a little thing. No need to worry.” She brings her hands from behind her back and in them is a square-shaped red book with a bow tied around it.

“The Story of Ferdinand?” I ask, reading the cover aloud.

Taking a seat on the swing next to me, Ellie explains. “This was my favorite book as a young girl. That alone should tell you how old it is,” she grins. “It’s a story about Ferdinand, a bull who wasn’t afraid of going his own way. When all the other bulls wanted to be picked to fight in the ring, Ferdinand wanted nothing to do with it. He just wanted to enjoy the flowers in the field.”

I gently untie the bow and quietly flip through the pages of the book, looking at the illustrations.

“You remind me a lot of Ferdinand, Madison. You are strong and your own person. What you are going through is not easy, and I am so proud of you. I’m proud of the way you’ve cared for yourself and this baby. I’m proud of the decisions you’ve made for your life and hers, even though I know it’s going to be very difficult.

“When things get hard and you need something to focus you, think about this story and how unique and strong and loving you are. And how very much you are loved.”

Ellie reaches around me and gives me a one-armed hug and a kiss on the cheek, then rises from the swing and returns to the inside of the house.
 

My stupid hormones are running rampant and I can’t help the tears streaming down my face. This woman has shown me more love in the past months than I’ve received in my entire lifetime.

Once the tears finally stop and my face starts to dry, I open the book and quietly read the story to my daughter.

Madison ran her fingers over the fading image as she thought about Ellie’s gift.

“When I came out of the bathroom today, I noticed your tattoo. I wasn’t sure when I saw it, so I went home and found the picture,” Issy explained quietly. “I never noticed the name in the flowers before. Elisabeth.”

“That would have been your name, if I … if I had …”

“It’s my middle name. Isabelle Elisabeth.”

Madison looked up to Issy and suddenly the doubts she had that this girl, this young woman sitting across from her, was her daughter were quickly fading away.

She looked back to the image and again ran her fingers atop it, this time touching the name in the flowers. “I thought this had been thrown away. I looked for it when I was leaving the hospital but never found it.”

“Ellie took it.”

Madison’s head snapped to Issy at the sound of the name. “Ellie?”

How could she possibly know about Ellie?

Issy nodded and reached across to hand Madison the second piece of paper from the envelope.

Madison’s hands started to shake as she saw Ellie’s handwriting. She’d know that penmanship anywhere. It was neat and clean, just like an elementary school teacher’s writing.

Slowly, she began to read the letter, wanting to absorb her words.

Hello, Baby Girl,

I’m not sure what your name is, so I suppose Baby Girl will have to do for now.

First and foremost, I want you to know
you are loved
. If you’re reading this, your parents have told you they aren’t your biological parents, and you probably have many, many questions. In my heart, I know they love you as much as your mom does. As much as I do.

To start, my name is Ellie. You and I aren’t related, at least not by blood. I was given the gift of helping a girl who found herself pregnant at a very young age - your biological mom. She came to live with me when she was just fifteen years old and four months pregnant.

Being pregnant at such a young age was pretty scary for her. She did her best to care for herself and you while you were with her. But she put up her guard when it came to you - afraid of what her future would hold, afraid of what the future would hold for you, afraid to get too close. She had already made the decision to let a family adopt you and she didn’t want to get too attached. To feel too much. But I’d often see her rubbing her belly and hear her talking to you. She may not have felt she could care for you, but she did love you. There is absolutely no question in my mind about that.

Your mom knew when the time came, she would need to give you to a family that would love and care for you in a way she felt she couldn’t. This was, by far, the most difficult decision she’d ever had to make. I’d venture to say that statement still holds true, no matter how old you may be as you read this.

Your mom is one of the strongest, loving and beautiful young women I know. She is funny and witty, and she’s an amazing artist. She is so extremely talented! If you have an inkling for drawing or the arts, you definitely got that from her. I will try to include one of her drawings if I can.
 

I don’t know what the future holds for you, Baby Girl, or for your mom. My hope is one day the two of you will find each other again.
 

Never, not for one second, think you were forgotten or not loved. You have always been, and will always be, in our hearts. Please know that. Believe that.

My wish is that your life is filled with wonder, Baby Girl, and beauty and friendship and most of all, love.

Ellie

Madison sat, staring at Ellie’s name at the bottom of the letter. She didn’t know what to say. Or think. Or feel. She never thought she’d hear from Ellie again. She never thought she’d see her daughter again.

Any doubts that Issy was her daughter had vanished.

Slowly, Madison turned her eyes from the letter to Issy. “I’m not quite sure what to say.”

“Me either,” Issy answered with a slight shrug.

“You must have a lot of questions,” Madison suggested.

“Some,” Issy nodded, a soft smile forming on her lips. “You probably have a lot now, too.”

Madison chuckled for the first time since opening the front door. “Yeh, you could say that.”

She studied Issy’s face for a short time trying to find the words to explain what would be the hardest for her to say.

“I knew what I was doing was right for you. For me. For both of us. I couldn’t give you, not at sixteen, the life you deserved. But,” she stopped as she felt wetness come to her eyes and her throat close, “my only regret,” she stopped again, “was I never held you before they took you away.”

Issy wiped her own tears and stood. “I’m here now.”

Madison felt tears roll down her cheeks as she stood and finally, after nineteen years, held her daughter.

Chapter 15

“Why don’t we get something to drink and start answering some of those questions?” Madison wasn’t sure how the next few hours would go, rehashing her past, but she felt it was something she needed to do. Not that she felt obligated ... but Issy deserved to know who her parents were, her
biological
parents, and why they didn’t feel they could keep her and raise her as their own.

“That sounds good. I just need to text someone first.”

“Okay,” Madison smiled as she walked into the kitchen.

Issy:
It’s her. :)
 

Brooke:
OMG! Are you ok?

Issy:
I think I am. :) I’m going to stay and talk with her for a while.

Brooke:
I’m happy for you Iss. I can’t wait to hear all about it.

Issy:
Thanks, B.
 

“That was my best friend, Brooke.”

“Ahh,” Madison smiled, handing her a glass of iced tea.
 

“She wanted me to text her, let her know I was okay.”

“That sounds like a good friend.”

“She is. She wanted to come with me, even if she stayed in the car, just in case you were crazy.”

Madison laughed. “That’s fair.”

“Not that I thought you were!” Issy quickly added, not wanting to offend her.

For some reason, the look on Issy’s face made Madison laugh even harder and soon Issy had joined in. It was stupid, really, but the intensity of the situation was so overwhelming the laughter helped relieve some of the tension.
 

When they could finally breathe and speak again, Issy tried to explain. “She was just worried. I never told her I was adopted, so everything kinda got sprung on her all at once.”

“I totally get it,” Madison smiled knowingly. “I have a good friend like that, too. Ryan. Sounds like she and Brooke have a few similarities.”

Taking her seat, Madison had questions about Issy’s family – were they good to her? Did she have a good childhood? Were her parents loving and kind to her? Did she have any siblings? But she wanted to leave the floor open so Issy could ask what she wanted to know.

“So. I’m sure you have a thousand questions buzzing around up there. Which one do you want to start with?” Madison figured it was best to just let her get started.