For You (The Shore Book 2) (11 page)

He took both of her hands in his and squeezed them gently. “I’m sorry, Madison. I can’t even imagine that.”

“I’m glad,” she responded with a soft smile. “Living that way, the way I did with my parents, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. You and your brother and sister were really lucky. And beyond that, your niece and nephews are really lucky, because I know you would never let them feel like I did growing up.” She paused for a moment again. “You would never let them feel that … alone.”

Declan wanted to reach across and wrap his arms around her, so he did. He scooted himself closer to her and after a few moments, she relaxed and let her body be embraced by his.

Madison laid her head on his chest and listened to his heart beat. After a bit, she continued to talk quietly. “It took a long time for me to open up to her. There were so many nights when we would sit at the kitchen table and not say anything. She truly had the patience of a saint. She never pushed, never pried. Anything I wanted to tell her was in my own time. Every so often she would ask a question, and I’d answer it, but give only the smallest amount of information I thought I could afford to give.

“Finally, when the dam broke, it was like I wouldn’t shut up. Kind of like now.” Declan’s arms tightened around her. “We would sit on the porch and drink lemonade when it was warm and wrap ourselves in blankets and drink hot chocolate when the temperatures fell.”

Declan could hear the smile return to her voice as she talked about her memories.

“I know it sounds really cliché and sappy, but, she truly was my lifesaver.”

“You know,” he said, hopeful in his tone, “I think I’d like to meet this Ellie person. Maybe we could all go for dinner sometime.”

Madison sighed and felt tears sting her eyes. “We can’t,” she said quietly.

“How come?”

“She died. Six years ago.”

“Aw, shit, Madison. I’m sorry.” He softly ran his fingers over her hair. “I’m so sorry.”

Madison sniffled, refusing to let herself cry but lost the battle. It was only their second date, for crying out loud. He didn’t need to see what kind of mess she could turn into when she cried.

Somehow Declan had managed to break down walls she had been building for so long. It took her almost a year to tell Ryan about Ellie, and now here she was, introducing him to one of the most important people in her life. Somehow, he had found a way into that place in her heart she guarded for dear life.

Declan tried to let go of their embrace so he could see her eyes, but as soon as his arms started to relax, Madison held onto him even tighter, not ready to let go. Instead, he tightened his hold and simply held her.

Several minutes later when he felt her start to relax, Declan kissed the top of her head and whispered, “Will you dance with me?”

“What, here?”
 

She could feel Declan nod in response.

“Come with me.”

Declan kissed her head once more then moved to stand. He offered his hand and helped her up. Not saying anything, he ran this thumbs under her eyes, brushing away the wetness her tears had left behind, then led them to the gym in the back.

When he reached an area without any hanging bags, he released her hand and walked to the corner where the sound system was. He pulled his phone from his back pocket, searched for a song and plugged it into the dock. In seconds, repeating notes came out of the speaker, followed by Sam Hunt speaking the first words of “Take Your Time.”

He walked up to her with a soft smile on his face. “May I have this dance?”

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close to his body. Madison gently wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his chest, letting him lead. They didn’t really move. They just swayed in time to the music.

Declan thought about being there with Madison, her having opened up to him, which he was certain was not something she was used to doing. It made him smile that she was willing to knock down her walls for him. He tightened his hold again at the thought.

As the song came to an end, Madison pulled back and looked into Declan’s soft eyes. “Thank you.”

The corners of his lips turned upward as he lowered his head to brush his lips against hers. “Anything for you.”

Madison tightened her arms around his neck, bringing his lips closer for a more passionate kiss.

As their kisses grew more intense, the music was ignored and they stopped swaying. Hands began to explore, running up and down arms. Tongues met. Necks were tasted.

Soon what started off as a slow kiss had escalated into something that was quickly leading them down a new path.

When Declan felt Madison’s fingers skim his flesh under his shirt, he reached down and took her hand in his. “Hey, wait a sec.”

“What?” she asked breathily.

He paused a second before he quietly answered. “I don’t want our first time to happen like this. Not in the middle of the gym.”

Madison lifted up on her toes and kissed the bottom of his jaw. “Let’s go back to my place then.”

All thoughts of the previous conversation had been left behind. There was a sparkle in Madison’s eye now and Declan knew what she wanted.
 

He just wasn’t so sure.

Hand in hand they turned off the lights and locked the front door.

The ride to Madison’s house was quiet but filled with tension. Finally, Declan spoke. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but for tonight, I’m just going to drop you off.”

The hand that was on Declan’s knee moved up to this thigh. “You are? Why don’t you come in for a while?”

Declan knew if he came in, it wouldn’t be
just
for a while. He laid his hand over hers. “I want to, but tonight, I’m just going to drop you off,” he repeated, his tone more decisive than the last time. Although, he wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince more.

Madison’s hand immediately went to her lap. “Okay.” She had a hard time disguising the hurt in her voice. Having a man turn down her advances wasn’t something she was used to. In fact, if anyone had been doing the turning down, it was her.

The rest of the ride was filled with tension for an entirely different reason.

When he pulled into the driveway, Declan put the car into park but didn’t turn off the ignition.

“Is it me, Declan?” Madison finally asked, although she wasn’t even sure where the question came from. She was strong and confident, but something about the way he turned her down hit her the wrong way. She had opened up. And cried. It seemed for every brick of wall she had taken down, he had suddenly put them all back up.

Shit. Maybe he thinks I’m some softy that gets all weepy and sappy at shit now.
 

“No, Madison. Not at all.” He shifted in his seat so he was facing her.

“Then what is it?”

“God,
yes
,” he almost groaned.
 

Madison looked at him, completely confused by his response. “Yes,
what
?” she asked, waiting for him to explain.

“I am attracted to you.
So
damn attracted to you. And I enjoy spending time with you. You’re beautiful and funny and strong …”

“Then what is it, Declan? I don’t understand.”

“I just don’t want to rush into anything.”

“And you coming in tonight would be rushing?”

“Yes …”

Madison nodded. She was lost somewhere between hurt and disbelief.

“Please say something.”

“I’m not sure quite sure
what
to say, Declan. You want me, but you don’t.”

He sighed, taking her hands in his and running his thumbs over her knuckles. “It’ll happen. Just not tonight.”

For what felt like several long minutes, they sat in silence, looking at each other, past each other, and then back into each other’s eyes again.

“I guess I should go,” Madison finally said, breaking the silence.

Declan nodded, hoping he hadn’t just ruined everything. “I’ll see you tomorrow? At class?”

“Yeh, I’ll see if I can make it.”

Feeling hurt and pissed off,
again
, Madison removed her hands from his and opened the car door. She got out and walked up to the door, alone. Taking her keys from her purse, she unlocked the door, and walked in the house. And without looking back to him, she closed the door.

Chapter 9

“Seriously. He fucking turned me down, telling me we would be rushing things or some crazy shit like that.”

Jessa looked at Madison, sharing in her friend’s disbelief. She hadn’t known anyone to turn down Madison Quinn before. Never.

“Maybe he has a good reason?” she offered. “Maybe he’s just more cautious, like something happened in his past to make him want to wait.”

“Maybe.” Madison tried to look at the scenario from a different angle. It wasn’t like Jessa to use logic to figure out why someone did or didn’t do something, so she had to give the idea some consideration.

“You don’t think … You don’t think he’s a virgin, do you?”

Madison looked at her friend, completely speechless. Finally finding her voice, she spoke. “No. No way in hell. You’ve seen this guy. There is
not
a chance.” She took another drink from her glass and her eyebrows shot up at a memory. “No, he’s not. He told me had a one-night stand once.”
 

“Well, thank God for that!”
 

Jessa looked at her friend, trying to read her expression and finally seeing something she had been experiencing herself. Someone had finally cracked the barrier. Someone had found their way beneath Madison’s Kevlar exterior and was crawling into her heart.
 

“You like this guy,” Jessa pointed out, and it nearly sounded like an accusation.

Madison looked quickly to her friend, ready to reject the claim, but couldn’t. There was something about Declan. She couldn’t quite put a finger on it, or even attempt to explain it to Jessa, but she liked him. And she finally realized she liked him enough that she was willing to wait. To learn more about him. To spend time together. To give a part of herself to a relationship – something other than her body.

“Shit,” she sighed. “Yeh, I think I do.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It had been too long since Declan had seen Madison. She hadn’t come into the gym for class the day after, or the day after that.

He finally called Erin, acting as though he wanted to talk about the alarm system. He knew, however, his sister would press him for information about who he’d been with the night it went off, and figured she could give her input on the situation and offer suggestions for how to fix it.

“Hey sis. Can you talk?” he asked when Erin answered the phone.

“Sure. Hang on a sec while I put Ike down. He just fell asleep.”

“Okay.” He could hear Erin moving around.

A minute or so later, she finally spoke. “So what’s up?”

“I just wanted to check in, see how things were going. Talk about the alarm going off the other night.”

“Things are going well. Your nephew has been getting us up at regular intervals and we’re both very anxious for the first time he decides he wants to sleep through the night.”

Declan chuckled. “I don’t envy you that. I’d be pretty pissed if someone continued to disrupt my sleep.”

“Don’t worry, you’re time will come. Ike’s worth it, though.”

Declan smiled. It was weird to hear his sister talk about being a mom and all that went with it. Thankfully she had a pretty great role model growing up, and he knew she’d do just fine.

“What about the alarm?” she asked. “You find out anything more?”

“Nope. We’re still not exactly sure what happened.”

“Really?”

“Hey, at least it was a false alarm instead of someone getting in and trashing the place.”

“Is there anything I could have done to prevent it?”

“No, I don’t think so. The security company was just here and they reworked a couple of the wires. Hopefully things will be good moving forward.”

“Thanks, Declan. I’m sorry you had to deal with all of this.”

“I
am
the owner, you know.”

“I know, but I’m your manager. You shouldn’t have to worry about these types of things.”

“Good thing you’re my sister then, huh? I’d be giving Nelson hell if this happened in his gym.” He loved teasing her about how he let things slide at her gym more than he did at the other. She hated when he did it, but it was one of the simple pleasures he got to enjoy as an older brother, and a boss.

“No special treatment, Declan. Remember?”

“I’m kidding. Relax. You’re doing a great job, and you’ve kinda had your hands full the last few months. No worries.”

“Thanks,” she responded. “So you want to tell me who was with you the other night? I’m guessing it wasn’t just the police since you wouldn’t fess up.”

Declan sighed, not because she brought her up, but because he was frustrated with the whole situation. “Her name is Madison.”

“And…” Erin prodded.

“Hang on, let me close the door.”

Declan and Erin had always been open with each other growing up. In many ways, they were each other’s best friend. Aidan included. They used to bounce “I don’t understand what he/she means” conversations off each other. It was nice having access to the other sex’s perspective.

“She’s Ryan’s best friend. And things were going really great until I ruined it.”

“Ruined it? How?”

“I get the sense she’s one of those people that has a lot of walls built up, and she was taking them down, opening up to me.”

“That sounds like a good thing, bub.”

“It is. But then we were kind of going at it pretty hard in the back gym –“

“Eww!” Erin interrupted.

“Shut up. You want to hear this or not?”

“Yes. Continue … just don’t give me too many details, kay?”

“There really aren’t any more details to tell. That’s kind of the problem.”

Erin didn’t need to hear anymore. She already knew exactly where this conversation was headed. “Declan, you didn’t.” Unfortunately, she’d seen him do this before. He’d find a woman he liked and then freeze when it came time to actually have sex with her, claiming he didn’t want to rush things.