For Those Who Dream Monsters (19 page)

It
would take time for the pills to start working. Anna knew from experience that
lying down wouldn’t help, that sitting wouldn’t help, so she staggered around
the bedsit, bumping into the walls, knocking things over, hoping that the
movement would accelerate her heartbeat and speed the drugs through her
bloodstream, making them work quicker. After five minutes she couldn’t wait any
longer – she would take more pills, even if it killed her, which might, in any
case, be for the best. She got a handful out of the bottle and swallowed them
down with water, this time from a glass, but her body started to spasm
violently and she retched, bringing up the whole lot – drugs, water and all.

The
pain in her abdomen was like a spiky metal ball thumping her over and over,
doubling her up and making her curse God, curse herself, the world and everyone
in it. Suddenly she was urinating all over herself – the pain such that all
control over her pelvic muscles was gone. Howling and humiliated, Anna ran for
the door, for the stairs, for the basement, for the cellar, for the abomination
that she prayed to the Devil was waiting for her in the darkness.

Anna slid down the cellar steps on her behind and crawled blindly forward into
the darkness. Fear mixed with relief as she heard a growl-squeal ahead of her,
and the familiar gust of displaced air hit her a split second before she was
thrown backwards, the creature crushing the breath out of her with its heavy,
compact body.

“Where’s
my food?”

“Please,”
Anna begged, “Make it go away.”

“Where’s
my food?”

“I
hurt.”

“How
do you think I feel? I haven’t eaten for eighty years.”

“Make
it go away.”

“Will
you bring me food?”

“Yes.
I swear,” Anna gasped under the weight of the creature on top of her. “I swear
on my mother’s grave. Just make it go away.” The familiar short sharp stabbing
pain as the fangs sank into her abdomen, and then the sweet gentle relief as
the pain subsided and disappeared. “Thank you.”

The
creature glared at Anna furiously. “You have one hour to bring me food or it
will be back and it will stay until you die screaming.”

“Two
hours,” bargained Anna, her brain suddenly crystal clear and computing ways of
bringing it food. She remembered the way men had looked at her in the street on
her way to the supermarket. In the anonymity of darkness men like that would be
even more willing to act upon their sordid impulses with a complete stranger.

“Two
hours,” agreed the creature, reading Anna’s every thought and emotion, and
grinning at the woman with its bone-coloured fangs. The cancer may take her
body, but the creature would have her soul – and that was far more satisfying.

“Blondie!” The man was drunk and horny. He’d been drinking in the pub all
evening with his mates, but had popped out for a quick smoke. When he saw the
big-titted blonde in the short skirt walking past, he thought that Christmas
had come early. Any woman with legs like that was obviously gagging for it, and
he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He looked around the street – it was
empty apart from him and the girl. He looked back into the pub – no one was
paying any attention to him, the Chelsea-Manchester United match keeping all
eyes glued firmly to the television screen on the wall. “Hey, blondie!”

Anna
instinctively ignored the man and was about to walk past, when he grabbed her
arm.

“Hey
darling,” the man slurred in Anna’s ear, “I been waiting for you.”

“Have
you?” asked Anna, her heart pounding with fear. All her damaged insides needed
now was to get raped by this large brute.

“We’re
gonna have some fun, baby,” the man told Anna, pulling her away from the pub.
“I know this great alley just round the corner – very romantic.”

“I
know somewhere even better,” Anna mustered all her courage to steady her voice.

“Oh
yeah? Where’s that?”

“My
place,” Anna told him. The man paused for a moment, looking doubtful.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.
It’s just round the corner.”

“You’re
having me on.”

“No,
I’m not.” The man still had a strong grip on Anna’s right arm, so she used her
left hand to fondle his genitals.

“Let’s
do it right here.” Anna winced as the man thrust his hand between her legs.

“I
thought you were a romantic,” she said, trying to push his hand away.

“Oh
I am. A right romantic – that’s me.”

“Well,
let’s go back to my place then, and make a night of it.” Anna tried to move off
in the direction of her street. The man threw a glance over his shoulder toward
the pub, then shrugged and let himself be led back to Anna’s building.

“Where we going?” the man asked, making another attempt to pull Anna’s top off
as they walked through the basement.

“Be
patient. We’re nearly there.” Anna tried to keep the man’s rough hands off her
as she led him towards the cellar.

“Right,
that’s far enough, I’m having you right here.”

“Wait!
It’s just there.” Anna pointed to the corner of the basement.

“What
is?”

“The
entrance to the cellar.”

“I’m
not going in any cellar, you stupid bitch.” The man threw Anna on the floor.

“Wait.
It’s really cosy down there. Really nice, you’ll see.” Anna backed away from
the man on her backside, scraping herself on the basement floor. “It’s just
there – look!”

“I
don’t see nothing.”

“There
on the floor. You see the ring?” The man peered into the shadows. “You just
need to pull it up and there are steps leading down. It’s really nice down
there. Like a secret love den. There’s a mattress, and beer, and everything,”

“You’re
talking shit.”

“Just
look!”

The
man’s curiosity got the better of him. He pulled up the trapdoor and peered
down into the gloom.

“I
don’t see anything,”

“Once
we get down, I’ll switch on the light.”

“You
want to lock me in down there!”

“No,
I don’t.” The man was getting angry and Anna was getting very frightened. “I’ll
go down first, okay? Look, I’m going down first.”

Anna
bolted down the steps and the man followed cautiously. She was going to pay for
bringing him down here. He had planned to treat her nice, but now he was going
to do her hard and rough for dragging him all the way down into this stinking
damp place.

The man descended the steps slowly, backwards, like a ladder.

“So
where’s the light switch?” he demanded, and the next thing he knew – there was
a snarling, howling sound and something struck him in the chest. He was thrown
backwards, his chest, neck, stomach, face exploding in blood and chunks of
flesh as fangs and claws moved over him and inside him at lightning speed. He
was dead before he hit the cellar floor.

Anna
screamed as blood splattered all around her. She hid behind the cellar steps
and whimpered as the snarling, tearing sounds continued. As her eyes grew
accustomed to the dark, she could see the creature devouring the man – chunk by
chunk. Anna threw up, then wiped her mouth and cried. The man had been a
sleaze, but he hadn’t deserved this: he was being eaten like a piece of steak,
and she was responsible. Anna cried for the man, she cried for any family he
might have left behind and she cried for her immortal soul. But after a while,
she wiped her eyes and found herself pondering how it was that the creature
could eat the entire man in one sitting. It hadn’t just been eating the man’s
flesh; it had been crunching up his bones with logic-defying ease and
swallowing those as well. There was almost nothing left of the man, except the tattered
remains of his clothes, and Anna wondered why the fiend’s stomach didn’t burst.
Her repulsion and guilt turned to a morbid curiosity, and she peered out from
behind the steps, watching the black furry winged thing feed. It was quite
impressive really – the thing was one efficient eating machine. Anna wondered
whether it had an extending stomach, her mind conjuring up images from
The
Little Prince
, which her grandmother had read to her when she was little,
and in which she remembered seeing a picture of what looked like a hat, but was
actually meant to be a snake that had swallowed an elephant.

As
Anna’s mind drifted back to her childhood, the creature finished its feast and
looked through the cellar steps at the woman. Anna noticed its blazing red eyes
and cowered back in fear, but then remembered that it wasn’t going to eat her.
The fiend looked into Anna for a long while, then turned away and moved off
languidly into the shadows.

“By
midnight tomorrow,” the distant, deafening voice reverberated through Anna’s
mind, and then the monstrosity was gone. Anna took a last look at the
bloodstained rags lying on the cellar floor and hurried back to her bedsit.

Anna woke up late after the previous night’s horrors, and lay in bed thinking
about Frank. She had given every single atom of her being over to loving him.
Her tutor at university had told her – after she had been dumped by her first
love – that she shouldn’t give all of herself away to a man; that she should
always hold a little bit back for herself, so as not to give another human
being the power to destroy her completely if things went wrong. She’d followed
her tutor’s advice throughout all her subsequent relationships, but everything
changed when she met Frank. She was so convinced that he was her soul mate and
that they would stay together forever, that she forgot her tutor’s words. She
had let herself go for the first time since she was eighteen, and allowed
herself to fall in love completely – catering to Frank’s every whim; giving him
love, sex, money and everything he asked for. But when she had asked for more
than the one night a week he was willing to give her, he had turned on her,
comparing her to his ex and telling her that he didn’t need ‘any of that
emotional stuff.’ The final straw had come when Anna didn’t have any more money
to ‘lend’ him. The loans, which added up to a couple of thousand pounds over
seven months – were ones that Anna never expected to get back, and Frank had no
complaints about that. Anna realised how ridiculously one-sided their
relationship had been, but she didn’t care. Now that the pain no longer filled
her entire world, she felt a large gap in her life – a gap that only Frank
could fill.

“Hello?” Anna’s blood pressure shot up as she heard Frank’s voice on the other
end of the phone. Her heart was pounding, and she could feel herself getting
light-headed.

“Frank,
it’s Anna.”

There
was a long pause at the other end, then Frank said, “I thought you told me you
were dying.”

“I
am,” said Anna, fighting back the tears that were welling up in her eyes –
tears not about her imminent death, but about the cold tone in Frank’s voice
that she had come to dread in their last weeks together. “But I’m feeling
better at the moment and I was hoping you could come over.”

“I’m
working,”

“After
work, then.”

“Look,
it’s over, Anna. We’re not together anymore.”

“I
know, it’s just that I…”

“It’s
just that you what?”

“I…”
Anna felt herself drowning. Like that time when Frank said he couldn’t handle
how needy and emotional she was, and that he couldn’t be with her anymore. She
looked around for a straw to grasp before the water closed over her head. “I’ve
won the lottery,” she blurted out, regretting her words the moment they were
out.

“You
what?”

She
could tell he wasn’t buying it – he could see right through her ridiculous lie.
Anna panicked and dug herself in deeper.

“Not
millions or anything. Just three hundred and eighty thousand. You know, five
balls and the bonus ball.”

Silence
at the other end. Then, “You’re kidding!”

“No,
I’m not. I really won it. Ironic, isn’t it – winning the lottery when I’m about
to die.”

“I
can’t believe it!” Frank couldn’t believe he hadn’t stayed with the needy,
whining bitch. It would have been worth it. Three hundred and eighty thousand.
He could have left his crappy dead-end job and become a fulltime writer. Maybe
there was still time… “That’s fantastic, baby!” he told Anna.

“It’s
true.” Anna had always loved it when he called her ‘baby’. “That’s why I’m
calling, actually.”

“I’m
so happy for you, baby!”

“Yeah,
well. You know, I’m not going to spend all of it and I’ve been thinking that,
well, if I let you have some of it – most of it – you could give up your job
like you wanted and become a fulltime writer.”

“I
couldn’t take your money, baby.”

“I’ve
got no one else to leave it to. It’s not like I’ve got any children, or any
brothers and sisters. My parents are dead, and I never liked my cousins, so I
just thought…”

“Baby,
I can’t believe you thought of me. I don’t know what to say. I mean… I couldn’t
take your money, but maybe if I could borrow some – just until I sell my first
novel…”