For the First Time: Twenty-One Brand New Stories of First Love (56 page)

“God, no! Don’t you go there, Avery.” I know she won’t listen to me, though. When Avery decides to do something, nothing can stop her.

“You can’t throw me something like that and expect it to be enough.”

I slump back onto my couch. This is bad. “I don’t want any part of it.”

Her mind is already three steps ahead of mine. “Leave it with me.” I can practically hear her mind ticking over as she speaks.

I’m about to beg her not to pursue this when someone bangs on my front door. “I’ve gotta go, there’s someone knocking on my door.”

“All good. You go,” she says, dismissing me, and I know I’ve got no chance of changing her mind.

We say goodbye and finish the call as I drag myself off the couch so I can answer the door. I’m almost relieved someone is here because they saved me from Avery, but I’ve no idea who would be visiting me at this time of night.

Whoever it is bangs harder on the door. So impatient.

“I’m coming!” I yell out and the banging stops.

I yank the door open, ready to give them a piece of my mind, but freeze when I see who it is.

Luke.

His dishevelled appearance is in stark contrast to the cool, controlled Luke I know. He stares at me through anguished eyes, and all the hurt and confusion that has been churning in me over the past couple of days, dissipates. The man standing in front of me looks broken and all I want to do is pull him close and wrap my arms around him.

“Hi,” I greet him a little awkwardly while my mind goes to war over hugging him.

He doesn’t reply, but rather simply stands there, staring at me as if the weight of the world is on his shoulders.

And then – “I’m married.” His voice cracks on the two words a woman never wants to hear, and where I should be pissed off at his confession, I know deep in my gut that there’s more to this.

I’m not sure what to say so I say nothing.

“Her name is Jolene…” He stumbles over her name, as if it’s the last word he wants to escape from his lips. I sense his distaste and instantly dislike Jolene while wondering what she did to him to make him feel this way.

The silence swirls around us and the winter chill of the July night cuts through to my bones. Or maybe it’s the thought that a married man kissed me two nights ago and all I can think about is kissing him again. And even though it’s wrong and I’ve always sworn I’d never get involved with a married man, it feels so damn right and that scares the hell out of me.

I remain silent, waiting for him to say the words that could make this all right.

We’re separated.

That would work.

“We’ve been married for five years,” he says and I hear the same emptiness in his words that I can see in his eyes. “Fuck!” He shoves his fingers through his hair as he snaps, and I sense the fury punching through his body. I’m guessing those five years haven’t been the happiest five years for him.

“So you’re still together?” I hold my breath waiting for his reply.

“No. Yes…no, not really. Shit, Callie, it’s so fucking complicated.”

My patience is wearing thin. I don’t understand what he’s trying to tell me. A person is either married or they’re not. My frustration turns me a little snarky. “I’m sure that’s the line every married man uses, Luke.”

He takes a step as if to enter my apartment and when I don’t move to let him through, he pauses and asks, “Can I come in so I can try to explain this fucked-up situation to you?”

“So long as your explanation involves more than ‘it’s complicated’.”

His lips pinch together. “It will.”

I step aside and usher him in.

A moment later, he blows my mind with his revelation.

“Two years ago, my wife was sent to jail for murder. More specifically for the murder of her own mother. I did everything to fight the charges – hired her the best lawyer money could buy, had a private investigator look into it…no stone was left unturned, and yet, she was found guilty even when the evidence didn’t point to that. I’ve spent the last two years working towards an appeal. It’s been hell, but I’ve clung to her innocence. Everything I’ve done has been geared towards proving that.” He stops talking and begins pacing while holding the back of his neck.

I’m stunned into silence. Never in a million years did I expect
that
.

He stops moving and turns to me. His nostrils flare and his eyes fill with anger. “But she’s not fucking innocent,” he explodes, stunning me even further.

“How do you know that?”

“Her sister told me.”

My mind swims with more confusion. “Okay, back it up, and tell me everything. I’m not really grasping all this.”

“Yeah, that’s two of us, babe.” Defeat snakes its way through his words. “I only discovered Jolene’s lies six months ago and I’m still trying to piece it all together.”

I frown. “Why would she kill her own mother?”

“Because her mother was about to expose her for what she really was – a fraud and a fucking, lying bitch.” His anger is extreme and I don’t blame him. I’d be gutted if I discovered my spouse had lied to me. “Apparently, Jolene only married me for my family’s money. She faked her way through three years of marriage and let me believe she was a woman with a heart of gold when in fact she was scheming the whole time to get her hands on my mother’s cash.”

“How?”

“How, what?” He stares blankly at me, waiting for me to explain.

“Well, was she planning to fake her way through decades of marriage until your mother passed away or was she planning to steal it?”

The ugliness of this conversation settles over us as he gets his next words out, and nausea hits my gut thinking about what he confides. “No, she was planning to murder my mother, too.”

My hand flies to my mouth. “Oh, my God.”

“Yeah,” he punches out. “I chose well, didn’t I?”

“It’s the kind of stuff you just don’t think happens in real life…like, it happens in the movies and books, but not to people you know.” I can’t even begin to imagine what he’s been going through all this time. He’s never shared anything about his past with us.

We grow silent, each consumed with our own thoughts. I have a million questions, but don’t want to bombard him. Sharing this information is clearly a big step for him and I know he’s not a huge talker, so I decide to wait for him to share more without prompting.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you the other night,” he finally says, blowing out a long, frustrated breath.

I want him to take those words back.

Surely he felt what I felt in that kiss?

My heart hurts even asking my next question. I’m not sure I want to know the answer, but I
need
to know it. “Did it mean nothing to you?”

His body stills and he blinks. “Fuck, it meant everything to me, Callie. I’ve wanted to kiss you for months.”

I move to where he stands and place my hand on his arm. His body tenses and I hate that. “Why shouldn’t you have kissed me, then? If we both want this, why can’t we have it?”

He pulls his arm away from my hand. “Because I’m married and my head is all fucked up over it. I don’t want to bring you into that. You deserve so much more.”

My brows pull together. “Are you getting a divorce now that you know the truth?”

He doesn’t answer me straight away, and my heart dives into the disappointment I know I’m going to feel when he answers me. “It’s complicated.” His voice is ragged; torn.

“I’m getting really fucking sick of that word!” I throw at him as my anger begins to build.

His hand flicks out and grabs mine, and he yanks me to him. Our bodies press hard against each other and the sounds of our heavy breathing fill the space as we’re consumed by the passion we both feel.

“You’ve got no fucking idea how much I want you…how much I want to kiss you again, and spend every hour of every day either with you or thinking about you. My marital status is complicated, but what I feel for you isn’t. You stole my attention a long time ago, you just never realised it.” The honesty in his voice threads itself through my heart.

Maybe we’ve got a chance.

Our faces are so close now. All I need to do is lean forward a fraction and I’ll experience the divine sensation of his lips on mine again. Oh, God how I want that.

But he’s married.

And it’s complicated.

“I’m going to kiss you,” he says, and I move both my hands to press against his chest. I’m not sure if it’s to push him away or just to touch him, because my thoughts are a mess.

Why can’t men and sex and dating be easy for me?

“Callie.” His voice is demanding, and I know he’s seeking an answer from me.

Our eyes hold each other.

So close.

Oh, man.

I’m really going to do this.

When I don’t say anything, he pushes me. “I want you. So damn much.”

Oh, to hell with it.

She lied to him.

He hates her.

It’s complicated.

Fuck,
life
is complicated.

I reach my hand up to curl around his neck and thread through his hair.

It feels so good.

It feels right.

I stand on my tiptoes and press my lips to his before pulling away and whispering, “This is going to change everything, isn’t it?”

His chest rises and falls rapidly, and he pushes out a breath as he nods. “Yes.”

I take a deep breath.

And for once in my life, I run completely with my heart rather than with my head.

I kiss him like I did two nights ago.

Deep.

Hard.

Long.

A growl comes from his chest and he lifts me to carry me to my bedroom. After he places me on my bed, he lifts his t-shirt over his head and drops it to the floor. I’m so entranced by the raw hunger I see in his eyes that I’m not even tempted to shift my gaze to admire his naked chest.

When his hands move to undo his jeans, I finally take in the chiselled muscles of his body.

I need to touch him.

Before my lust-filled mind has a chance to tell my body to move towards him, he strips the rest of his clothes off and kneels on the bed.

Surely, I’ve died and gone to heaven.

Luke’s powerful body moves over mine and all I can do is lie back and let him take charge.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he says as he slides his hands under my t-shirt. His touch scatters pleasure across my skin, and I arch my back up off the bed.

When his hands glide over my breasts, I moan. I’ve waited so long for his hands on me, and even though I never believed it would happen, I’ve imagined how it would feel. And it feels so much better than I ever dreamed it would.

His eyes meet mine. “This pains me to even say, but I’m not the kind of man who forces himself on women, so tell me again that this is what you want. Just know that once you say yes, there’s no going back because I’m barely restraining myself already.”

There’s no hesitation on my behalf. “Yes, I want this.”

His deep breaths come hard and fast as he walks that tightrope of restraint, and at my words, the rope snaps, and I know the switch has been flipped in his mind.

I know he’s going to give me the best damn sex I’ve ever had.

Moments flash by and I can hardly keep up with him. He removes my t-shirt and bra, and then slides my jeans and panties off.

His movements are swift, yet gentle.

Perfect.

He positions himself over my body, on his hands and knees, and dips his head so he can take one of my nipples into his mouth. When his warm tongue sweeps over my skin, I grip the bed sheet and wrap my legs around his body.

Yes.

Oh, God, so many yes’s.

There are not enough yes’s in the world for Luke Hardy.

Maybe it’s three months of no sex, but pleasure is ricocheting through my body and I think I might actually explode from how amazing it is.

Or maybe it’s just Luke.

I’ll have to sleep with him at least once more to know for sure.

He has a wife.

Oh shush, it’s complicated.

“Callie.” Luke’s voice cuts through my thoughts. “I don’t have a condom. Do you?”

“Yes, in the drawer of my bedside table.”
Thank God.

He reaches for the drawer and rummages around until he finds what he’s looking for. A moment later, he has the condom on and gives me his full attention once more.

I want his lips on mine again, so I take hold of his face and guide him to me. As he kisses me, I can feel a smile playing on his lips, and briefly pull away to say, “Are you laughing at me, Luke Hardy?”

The smile lights up his face. “No, but I
am
loving the fuck out of you taking charge with that kiss.”

I love this sexy, fun side of him; I’ve never seen it before. Luke holds himself back most of the time, and although I now understand why, I want more of this fun side.

I want more of him, fullstop.

And then he gives me what I want.

His lips.

His hands on me.

His body against mine.

He kisses me like I’m his sunshine to a rainy day again.

He steals my breath.

But he doesn’t really steal it, because you can’t steal something that is willingly given.

As his mouth presses kisses down my stomach, I wind my fingers through his hair, anticipating the extreme pleasure his mouth is about to deliver. When he reaches his destination, he takes hold of my legs and positions them over his shoulders before dipping his face to my pussy.

One flick of his tongue and I’m his. Hell, I was already his, but now I’m ready to hand over the keys to the driver’s seat whenever he wants to take a spin.

I grip his hair harder. “Please don’t ever stop what you’re doing,” I beg as I bite my lip and squeeze my eyes shut.

The pleasure builds to an intensity I’m not sure I can ever recall experiencing as he expertly works his tongue and lips to give me an orgasm I will never forget.

As I come, I scream, “Oh, God…Luke, fuck…”

Brilliant light shatters through my mind and I lose all sense of knowing as my orgasm moves through me. All I know in this moment is how good Luke is making me feel.