For the Best (23 page)

We left the trippy, distorted world of
Theodor Geisel’s creations only to be waylaid by a log ride. With
Trev once again in front, me in the middle and Tanner behind we
plummeted through the Canadian North woods as the villain, Snidely
Whiplash kidnapped a damsel in distress trapping her in a saw mill,
and the Royal Canadian Mounty Dudley Do-Right rode to the
rescue.

Drenched we stopped for lunch. Something
fried. Tanner drank two beers, and spoke very little.

We entered the Hogwarts from the Harry
Potter Books that the movies presented more impressive than my mind
ever conjured as I read the series. All its majesty, the castle
gates, passageways, classrooms and corridors took me away from
pressing worries. Trevor was a six foot child who was ecstatic.

I didn’t think about Tanner’s silence again
until we were in the line for the next ride. From soaring over the
castle grounds, I felt slightly dizzy. Deciding maybe Tanner would
loosen up without me I sat out the “training flight” aboard the
Flight of the
Hippogriff
as well as all remaining
rides.

I followed Tanner to the hotel I had booked.
Trevor rode with him. I wondered what they were talking about. We
parked, gathered bags and quickly checked in making it to the
room.

Trevor turned on the television. Like a good
tourist, he found the promotional channel for Orlando Attractions.
I noticed Trevor’s heavy lidded eyes fluttering as
he lay across one of the double beds his feet hanging over the
edge.

I
ignored my own exhaustion choosing to look out the hotel
window at the long line of cars backed up on
International Drive
.

“
Can
we talk?” Tanner asked me.

My
thoughts exactly,
I wanted to tell him about Ansel. I sat down on the other bed.
He stood. Trevor was now asleep.

“
The
girl I dated when I was away. It is a more serious than I let
on.”

I
nodded.

“
She
doesn’t know I am with you today. She wouldn’t like it.” It
was like he was staring right through me. “You were
right.”

“
About
what?”

“
You
and I fell in love too young. We rushed in. We grew up with
each other and were bound to change. It was like you kept saying
all along.”

All
those things I told him he didn’t understand I was offering
him one last chance to prove me wrong. He couldn’t. I considered
telling him to save his let down, rub Ansel in his face, instead I
nodded my acceptance. “So what now?”

“
I can’t be your friend
anymore. We can’t do things together like today. It becomes
difficult.”

“
Did
you make that decision or did she?”

Anger and sadness passed one
after the other on his expression. “I did.”

I
didn’t argue. “Will you go then? I’ll tell Trev when he wakes
that you had to get back to school.”

He picked up his discarded
bag and walked to the door. His face was soft. I almost thought he
changed his mind. “I’m sorry.” I met his eyes totally amazed to
hear him apologize. “Thank you for making this easy.”

Tanner

As I left Trev with Hanna in that hotel, my
walk down the hallway to the elevator had felt like a stroll to
death row. I swallowed tears, knowing the girl I was leaving behind
would always be a part of me no matter what I did and said.

Telling Hanna goodbye, leaving her,
especially there with the only other person in the world I truly
gave a damn about was the hardest thing I’d ever done.

Hanna

When
the sun finally rose, daybreak woke Trevor like an alarm. I’d
gotten him to shower then down to the complimentary buffet of
pastries, yogurt, cereal, and breads.

Trevor
hadn’t noticed Tanner was absent. I didn’t bring him up
because I wasn’t sure how I would explain why his brother had
left.

“
Aren’t
you hungry or thirsty?” the man boy asked with an innocent
smile.

I
gulped a mouthful of boiling coffee. “A little. How is your
cereal?”

“
Good.”
He kept smiling spooning mounds of
Frosted Flakes
up to his
lips.

“
Did
you have fun yesterday?”

He
nodded.

“
Maybe
we can go to a water park next time,” I offered.

Trevor
would remain my friend even if his brother didn’t.

Hanna

I’d
drove back – took Trevor to his group home, made my way to my
own. Pinkie was standing on her hind legs, her front dangling over
the chain link fence. She woofed a greeting as I parked. I found a
leash in my car and hooked her up for a quick walk.

Darkness
claimed the street as the moss clung parasitically from the
Spanish Oak canopy. The old weathered, wooden cottages filled up
with light. I heard a mother calling to a child.
As I
passed, I saw her hug the boy who ambled up the porch steps
baseball bat and mitt in his hand.

Pinkie led me through a maze of streets. The
route we’d taken since moving. I numbly followed my mind hazing
until I realized she’d returned us to the front steps of the
school. The dog sat without having to be commanded and I opened the
door to admit us inside.

Walking down the hall I felt like a student
on that nauseous first day. I went to Della’s apartment, which
since completion was more comfortable than mine.

Della was on the phone and I briefly waved
at her before I made my way into a bedroom. I tiptoed up to the
crib. Keb was sleeping innocently. Stroking the downy softness of
his little cheek, he opened his eyes and gazed up.

“You are so sweet. Your mommy and I promise
you will have a good life and be a good person.”

His tiny fist rose up to his mouth
smothering a yawn as he fell to the temptation of sucking his
hand.

“I didn’t expect you home so soon,” Della
stole up beside me.

“Tanner didn’t want to stay.”

“Why?” she asked an acid tone creeping into
her whisper.

“The person he was dating… it’s serious. I
guess he doesn’t want to jeopardize the relationship by remaining
my friend.”

“God, why didn’t you tell him about
Ansel?”

“It was easier not to.”

“But you stayed overnight with him.” Della
was in defense mode. She looked ready to explode.

I shook my head. “After we did the amusement
park, back at the hotel he explained his situation and left me
there with Trevor.”

Keb’s heavy lids dropped over his incredible
blue eyes. My vision blurred with emotion. Della pushed me out the
door and into the hall, closing it firmly behind us. I followed her
into the kitchen where she mixed me a drink abstaining herself
since she was still breast feeding.

“What a dick!” she hurled the insult
sharply.

“I guess it was more than a fling.” I sipped
gingerly, made a bitter face when I tasted the whiskey and gulped
it like a shot.

“So the next time he comes crawling back
begging for another chance, what then?”

“There’ll never be a next time Della. At
least not for me.”

I ended up calling Ansel. Told him the whole
story.

“So you’ve been dumped by a guy you were no
longer dating.” The words were amusing, his tone was not.

“Are you angry at me?”

“No, but he’ll come back. He always
does.”

“No he won’t. I don’t measure up.” I had no
regrets about losing Tanner’s friendship. What I felt was more
damaging, the deep down starkness of inadequacy. A long silence
filled the line. “You’re silence must mean you agree with him,” I
declared after long minutes passed.

Hardly. I had a surprise but telling you now
doesn’t seem like the right time.”

“What was it?”

“I bought a ticket back to you. I’m coming
in on New Year’s Eve.”

Tanner

Skylar after only being home a week
surprised me with a phone call to say she wanted to meet my parents
and would New Year’s Eve weekend be too soon. What could I say? I
picked her up at the airport alone.

She went right for the topic of Hanna. “So
how did she take it?” I swear when she asked she was taking some
sadistic delight in the situation.

“She was cool with it.”

“Really? I thought she would freak. From
what you told me about her, I figured she would realize she just
lost her future meal ticket.” She took my hand on the gear shift
and began stroking my fingers.

What had I said about Hanna that would
have formed Skylar’s opinion? Future meal ticket
, I thought,
yeah future wife was my wish, but I didn’t think Hanna needed me
to get by. She didn’t need anyone.

“She’s not like that,” I defended her. I
knew what a girl like Skylar really wanted me to say, “Hanna isn’t
for me. You are,” I lied giving her a tight smile. The truth was to
me Skylar was just a temporary lay with deep pockets. I didn’t want
her to be a permanent part of my life. “When are you leaving?” I
enquired blinking to dull my probably too bright eyes.

Her voice had a tone in it when she asked,
“Monday, why?”

I covered, “I’m already worrying about
missing you.”

“My dad is working on getting you a paid
internship at his company next year. Then we can be together as
much as we want,” Skylar declared.

“In Chicago?” I blurted.

“Well, yeah.”

“But I’m not a finance major.”

“But you could add some business classes to
your schedule this semester and minor in finance. You can’t expect
to spend your life working outdoors. It is just too common.”

She made me feel disappointed in myself. I
seemed to be a failure in her eyes before I had even made my first
career move. I nodded not really caring.
Did she really think
that I’d pack up and join her?

Once she left Monday, I considered driving
back to Hanna’s place and telling her I’d made a mistake. I wanted
to wrap my arms around her and beg forgiveness. To tell her that I
still loved her. I pulled my hand out from under hers. Finally, we
made it to my parent’s house where I resumed my role of actor,
pretending that she meant something to me.

Hanna

Storms had decimated the beach since I’d
last walked it. A steep drop off of sand made for a cliff dive as
the dogs and I tried to descend from soft calf working granules to
a harder packed surface.

Surfers bobbed in black rubber on their
boards that pitched as the waves catapulted them until they passed
the breakers. Both Bowzer’s and Pinkie’s leashes were wrapped
around my hands, tugging me to the water where Clay and Ansel were
emerging from the surf. Bowzer tugged at the leash for his master.
I released him and he ran. Gently, I descended the cliff. Sand
slide just like a mudslide followed each step my feet slipped down.
Clay was wrestling the leash from his dog’s mouth laughing.

Ansel took the threadbare beach towel from
my hands and began toweling off as Pinkie licked the salty water
droplets from his legs. “You want to jump some waves.”

I shook my head. “Not without a
wetsuit.”

“Did you finish all your appointments?”

I nodded. “The other groomers have the rest
of the day’s slots filled.”

He put his arm around my waist drew me
closer. “So you’re all mine for the rest of the day?”

“I have a 3 o’clock appointment with a
student who needs a storage room.”

Clay butted in, “No, you don’t. I’ll take it
and don’t show up for your shift until New Year’s Day.”

“Really?” I asked peering around Ansel’s
shoulder.

“Go Hanna. You’re making this guy crazy,” he
teased pointing at Ansel.

“So what did you have in mind?” I asked
Ansel.

“I’d like to meet Trevor.”

Tanner

Skylar sucked up to my parents like a girl
wanting to be a future daughter-in-law should but she bad mouthed
them behind their backs. As far as I could tell she and my mom were
birds of a feather so why Skylar did not like her more was
perplexing.

With Trevor Skylar didn’t even try. I didn’t
have to get her around kids to realize she wasn’t nurturing or
maternal but the way she talked to him, there was no denying she
found him to be not only an embarrassment but a burden.

I took her to dinner on New Year’s Eve. No
way did I want to introduce her to any of my friends. The place was
lavish. I couldn’t afford the miniscule entrees offered. Finished I
admitted, “I’m still hungry.”

“Oh, I’m very full.”

“Hard to believe.” She had ordered a some
salad with no dressing at a ridiculous cost, only eaten about a
third and my estimation was about one hundred calories. She thought
I didn’t realize she starved herself but I did.

“You want to go for a walk?” I asked after
signing my credit card receipt. “The St. Johns River has a nice
promenade. All the old houses nestled by the water, the character
and atmosphere are really cool.”

“Not really. It’s too humid.”

“You call this hot. This is nothing. You
should feel the air here in the summer.”

“My hair will frizz.” She must have sensed
my mood because she relented. “Maybe we could walk over there.” She
pointed to the other side of the river. “I’d like to see those high
rise condos you mentioned some of the NFL players own.”