Fool for Love (Montana Romance) (11 page)

Her lips were tight at first but they and the rest of her body warmed and relaxed as he kissed her.  At last her arms caressed him, hands spreading across his waist.  That was all it took.  A little bit of insistence and she opened like a rose.  His heart leapt with the joy of being so close to her.  If he wasn’t careful he would want to do m
ore than just kiss and cuddle.

He pried himself away from her lips.  The longing remained in her eyes.

“The ship’s supposed to dock around ten a.m.  You ready for your new life in America, Mrs. Quinlan?”

Maybe they could find an obliging courthouse near the waterfront.

Amelia’s smile wasn’t nearly as wide as his heart thought it should be.  In fact, it wasn’t much of a smile at all.  She wriggled out from under him and crawled out of bed.

“It will be nice to start a new chapter, yes,” she answered after a long pause.

An annoying tickle lodged in Eric’s gut.  He dropped to his side and watched Amelia move, watched the sensual grace of her body as she searched for clean clothes.  The mound of her belly only made her more desirable as far as he was concerned.  But her eyes were dull and her cheeks had lost their luster.

“Something wrong, darling?” he asked, throwing back the sheets and rolling out of bed himself.

“No,” she answered.  She glanced at him over her shoulder, her eyes dropping straight to his over-eager Johnnie.  She bit her lip, bright red, and snapped away.

Dangit, what was it?  A new world, a new life just hours away.  She should have
been popping with excitement.

He crossed the room to her in two strides and plucked the clothes she was fiddling with out of her hands.  He drew her into his arms and kissed her again, long and deep.  That little moment of hesitance lasted longer before she gave in to what he was sure she was feeling.

“It’s gonna be all right,” he told her, brushing a lock of hair away from her face.  It felt so much better to hold her close, like he was settling a nervous cow.  “America’s gonna love you.”  And so would he.

“I know,” she answered, then shuddered into tears.

“Hey, hey.  It’s all right.”  He rubbed his hands across her back, kissing the top of her head as she buried her face against his neck.

Hell, he’d never understand women.  They c
ried over the littlest things.

“You’ll feel better once we get off this boat and on a train headed west,” he fumbled on, looking for the words that would set things right.  “Then we’ll find you a good horse so you can ride something besides me.”

She sucked in a breath and pulled out of his arms.

Hellfire.

“Sorry,” he mumble.

“No, I’m sorry.”  She sniffled, scrambling for a handkerchief among her things.  “I’m so terribly sorry.”  She
found one and blew her noise.

Eric frowned at the loud, wet sound.  “What do you have to be sorry for?  I’m the one cracking jokes in poor taste.”

She finished wiping her nose and sent him a sideways half grin.  His heart flopped to his gut.  Those kinds of looks were never good news.

“We should wash and dress,” she answered, drawing in a breath and pulling herself together.  “As you said, we’re docking soon.”

He couldn’t disagree with her.

As she went back to sorting through her clothes Eric stepped into the tiny washroom to clean himself up.  One thing he was looking forward to about being on land again was finding a hotel room that was bigger than a closet.  One with a bathtub that both he and Amelia could stretch out in.  A nice, warm bath would settle her.  Who knew, maybe they could try a few other things in the tub.  That was something he’d never done.  Maybe a stay in a nice hotel for a week or two in an exciting city would be exactly what Amelia needed to shake off the past.  Thanks to Ben he could actually afford to live a little.

He finished in the washroom then switched places with Amelia.  She avoided his eyes and shut herself behind the tiny door.

As he scrambled to find something decent to wear, he noticed that Amelia’s old carpet bag had found its way near the door apart from the rest of the bags.

The annoying tickle in Eric’s gut raged into a stampede.  He twisted to frown at the washroom as he buttoned his shirt.  No, she wouldn’t.  He was imagining things.  He’d been nothing but sweet to Amelia throughout the entire voyage.  And he was pretty sure she liked him.  She’d laughed with him and smiled at him and moaned like he was showing her the stars when they’d made love.  Sure, she was quiet sometimes too, sullen even, but she was going through a big old change.  That was it.

He put on his pants and fastened his suspenders, then strode across the room to snatch her carpet bag and move it back with the others.  It was a coincidence that it’d been sitting so close to the door to begin with.  Everything was fine, and as soon as he found an obliging Justice of the Peace, it would be even better.

When she came out of the washroom Amelia’s gaze shot straight to the spot her carpet bag was supposed to be.  Eric ignored her momentary look of shock and concern.

“Why, Mrs. Quinlan, you look beautiful.”  He moved between her and the door, catching her in his arms and kissing her.

She tensed.  As soon as the kiss was done she pulled away, not meeting his eyes.

“Do you think we could have breakfast before we leave?” she asked, fluttering toward the suitcases.  “I’m afraid I need to eat something.”

“Sure,” Eric replied.  He put all of his effort into seeming casual as he followed her across the room and scooped an arm around her waist.  She was like a skittish cow who needed a firm touch for reassurance.  He fetched her small purse and steered her away from the suitcases.  “Don’t worry about them.  The porter will get them.”

“But you’re not packed,” she pointed out.

She was right.  His clothes were spread across the bed like it was wash day.  But some things were more important than clothes and suitcases.  Like the guilty glint in Amelia’s eyes.

“I’ll come back
for them later.”  He shrugged.

“But-”

“Let’s get you some breakfast.  Ben should be up there right about now.”

For one bone-melting moment, Amelia stared at him as though she would make a break for it.  She fiddled with the clasp of her purse, her violet-blue eyes dull with the kind of remorse that no woman should ever have to feel.  He wanted to throw down his hat and demand that she tell him what the hell was bothering her.

“All right.”  She smiled, a moment of brightness cutting through the clouds.  “I would like a chance to say goodbye to Ben.”

“I’m sure we’ll see him again in no time,” he told her.

She wavered on her spot.  Her free hand drifted to the bump of her stomach like it did when she was thinking something over.

She couldn’t bolt.  Why would she?  She needed him.  He needed her.  His l
ife wouldn’t work without her.

At last she let out a breath and stepped close to Eric to kiss him on the cheek.

“Thank you,” she said.

“What for?”

Her bittersweet smile would make him and break him.

“For rescuing me.”

“Amelia, you’re the one who rescued me.”

He kissed her.  Her lashes fluttered down and her cheeks burned pink.  His heart beat as fast and as hard as a horse at full gallop.

He loved Amelia.  It was as simple as that.  So then why did he feel as though he’d gotten tangled up in barbed wire?

Amelia finished the last of her crepes, wishing she hadn’t eaten so much.  She felt guilty for asking for a second helping.  She felt guilty for spending so much of Eric’s money – on food, on the clothes she wore, and on her passage to this new life.  But most of all, she felt guilty for letting him believe her willingness to come to his bed during the voyage was the same as a willingness to stay in his life.  She felt guilty for the favor she was about to do him by disappearing, but there was no other honest thing to do.

“I just wish I had documents made right here on the ship,” Ben said to Eric as they discussed business one last time.  “It’ll be slower signing contracts and discussing production and transportation over the telephone and through the mail.”

“We can still do it though, right?” Eric asked.  His eyes went round and worried for a moment and he glanced to Amelia for support.  She tossed him a distracted smile, glancing toward the door.

“Of course we can,” Ben laughed.  “How else do you think international business is conducted these days?”

Eric laughed along with him.  “Well good.”  He chewed on the last piece of his bacon.

“Mind you, the day is coming when they will have to come up with a better way to communicate across distances,” Ben went on.  “The means of production are growing, the means of distribution are tight on its heels.  It follows that the means of communicating across the newly shortened distances will have to be created.”

“I never thought about it that way.”  Eric nodded his agreement.  “Boy, I tell you, this world of ours is changing so fast sometimes that I can’t hardly keep up with it.”

“You are fortunate to have a bright and beautiful wife to help you keep abreast of things.”  Ben turned to Amelia with a wink.

Amelia’s face burned pink, and not with the compliment.  She hadn’t imagined it would be so hard to do what she had to do.  She liked Benton Chase.  It only doubled her guilt to think that she as letting him down too.  And the way Eric smiled at her, full of pride, actual pride in her, weakened her resolve to do the right thing.

No, she couldn’t stay with him.  He deserved so much better.  He deserved a woman who’s legs didn’t part at any man’s suggestion, someone who wasn’t so steeped in lust that she would let herself be impregnated in an eff
ort to keep a man in her life.

“Well,” Eric stood, laying his napkin on the table, “I’ve got to go pack my things.  Ben, would you mind keeping an eye on my wife while I do?”

“Not at all.”  Ben smiled at her.  “It would be my pleasure.”

“I’ll be right back.  You stay put,” Eric told her.  He met and held her eyes with surprise strength before nodding to Ben and striding off.

Amelia’s heart sank into a stomach full of butterflies.  He must know what she was about to do.  Between spotting her suitcase and refusing to leave her alone, she was sure of it.  But this was for his own good.

“I should be going myself,” she said, standing, as soon as Eric had left the room.

“Eager to see America, are we?” Ben teased her.

“Eager to be on dry land,” she bluffed.

Ben stood.  “Shall we stroll the deck together, Mrs. Quinlan?”

Amelia tossed an anxious glance over her shoulder to the door.  She had a better chance of giving Ben and Eric both the slip if they were on a crowded deck.

“Certainly.”  She smiled, taking Ben’s arm when he offered it.

“You’re a mighty fine woman, Mrs. Quinlan,” Ben said as they passed through the dining room and out into the fresh air on the deck.  “Your husband thinks the world of you.”

Her heart ached with regret.

“He’s the kindest man I’ve ever known.”  And she was a wretch for leaving him, as shameless a wretch as she’d be if she stayed.

“You take care of him now,” Ben went on.  “A man can be too kind, especially when he’s got a business to run.  You keep him from killing himself with kindness.”

“I will,” she swore.  It was exactly what she was trying to do.  “Will you excuse me, Ben?  I see another friend I’d like to say goodbye to.”

“Why of course, my dear.  Though if you ask me, they should be lining up to say goodbye to you.”

Amelia swallowed the lump in her throat.  She pecked a kiss on Ben’s cheek.  “Goodbye.”

Before he could stop her, she spun away and dodged into the crowd.  The lump wouldn’t leave her throat.  Tears stung her eyes, threatening to fall.  It shouldn’t have hurt this much to do the right thing when it had felt so good to do the wrong thing.

The cityscape of New York loomed large as the ship set into port.  Tall buildings stretched back from the dock.  The streets around the dock were teeming with people and horses, carts and carriages.  After a week isolated at sea it was a jolt to find the rest of the world buzzing wit
h life.

Amelia found a sheltered spot where she could watch both the city and the door leading to the staterooms without being seen.  She needed to time her escape perfectly.  If Eric saw her he would try to convince her to stay.  She wasn’t sure she would be able to resist him.

Her nerves were raw with waiting when he finally strode out into the noon sun.  She crouched lower as he searched through the crowd for her.

“Go on,” she whispered, willing him to walk away from the door.  “Go on.  It’s for the best.”

At last he moved away, searching for her in the opposite direction.  She took her chance and ducked through the crowd and back into the heart of the ship.  The halls were eerily quiet.  Amelia checked over her shoulder to be sure Eric hadn’t followed her as she turned a corner and made her way to their stateroom.  The door was unlocked, but when she pushed it open all she found was an empty room.  Her carpet bag and Eric’s suitcases were gone.