Flying High (9 page)

I don’t spend enough time with Ricky,
he said to himself.
If I want him to have my values, I have to be the one who teaches him about life.

But what about your compulsion to get back into action overseas?
a niggling voice taunted. He would worry about that when he had to.

“Let’s go, buddy. Your Uncle Nelson has some work to do.”

At home, he polished his report and checked it for errors. Satisfied, he printed it out on his office stationery, locked it in his drawer and went downstairs to the kitchen where he found Lena and Ricky watching Sesame Street.

“When that’s over, we’ll start your piano lessons,” he said to Ricky. “I’ll be downstairs.” Minutes later, Chopin’s “Polonaise” filled the room as he lost himself in the music that flowed from his fingers.

“Am I gonna be able to play like that, Unca Nelson?”

He hadn’t heard Ricky enter. “Of course you will. You can do anything you want to do if you work hard and play by the rules.”

“Gee. Can I start now?”

He slid over, placed the child’s right thumb on middle C and began the lesson. Two hours passed, and neither of them noticed until Lena stepped into the room.

“I’ve been calling y’all for the past thirty minutes. My dinner’s gonna taste like it came out of the freezer.” She grasped Ricky’s hand and started up the stairs. “Did you like your piano lessons?”

“I sure did, and soon as I learn, I’m gonna teach Audie how to play.”

Climbing the stairs behind the two of them and hearing Ricky’s cocky comment, Nelson couldn’t help reminiscing about his youth, times when he thought the world was his and he could accomplish anything he put himself to. Suddenly, he laughed aloud, acquainting himself with a new kind of happiness, the joy men know when an inner light illumined them. Maybe God would be good to him, and he could have his four silver stars, his family and a woman who loved him.

* * *

At that same time, Audrey sat on her back porch, swinging and looking at the fireflies. Very few came out that evening, and she missed the swarm that usually entertained her. Clouds soon covered the moon and stars, and the wind strengthened to cool the air. She could almost smell the coming rain. Rolling thunder sounded in the distance, then closer and closer, and when the first lightning streaked through the sky along with the cracking sound of a million revolvers, she ran inside. Since childhood, she had feared the sound of thunder and the lightning that accompanied it and now, childlike, she sought the safety of her bed.

For nearly an hour the elements tested their power, immobilizing her. When the storm passed, drained and disgusted that at age thirty she still couldn’t cope with it, she showered and got ready for bed. She had promised to call Nelson, but wasn’t quite up to the inner battle that was bound to entail, so she procrastinated a little longer.

When the phone rang, she answered it immediately, thinking it might be one of her sisters calling to console her about the storm.

“Hello.” The brightness of her voice surprised her, as she had thought herself melancholy.

“Hello. This is Nelson. You said you wanted to speak with me about a matter of importance. Change your mind?”

“Hi. I was...uh...waiting for the storm to pass.”

“It passed half an hour ago. Ricky sends his love to you.”

At the tip of her tongue were the words
what about you?
Fortunately, she had the presence of mind not to utter them. “He’s a wonderful child. He was here with me only four days, but I miss him. This place is really dull since I took him home.”

“Yeah. He’s changing my life.” She thought she detected a wistfulness in his voice.

“Is that because you’re responsible for him?”

“Only in part, and a small part at that. I never loved a child before. Oh well, what did you want to tell me?”

“Nelson, I want to plead with you to get an MRI or a CAT scan—”

He interrupted, as she’d known he would. “Look, I’m handling it, so—”

“That’s the problem. You are not handling it, and what is worse, you can’t handle it. What I felt this afternoon didn’t appear to me to be a whiplash. I bet anything you don’t have a whiplash, but the only way to be certain is to look inside. Why do you risk permanent damage that could alter your life and your lifestyle? I can envisage problems there that, if not treated, could eventually cost you your life.”

“You don’t think you’re overstating this?”

“I gave you my professional judgment. If you want more, I care about you, and it pains me to think of what you’re suffering now and how much worse it will be if you don’t get it treated.”

“Look, I appreciate your concern and your help, too, Audrey, but I’m doing the best I can right now.”

“Is that your last word on the subject?”

“Unless fate decrees otherwise. Yes.”

“Well, that was the reason why I was going to call you, so I’m turning in. Good night.”

“Good night?” It sounded as if he screamed it. “Hell, woman, can’t you kiss a guy. You’re just hanging up?”

Taken aback, she hesitated. “I can do that, but honey, I don’t get a kick out of teasing myself. And knowing what you can do to a kiss, that would be torture.”

“It’ll torture both of us. Open your mouth.” She parted her lips, closed her eyes and let him have his way with her. “Can’t you taste my hunger and this awful need I have to explore every centimeter of your mouth and every facet of your body?”

She shook herself out of the trance into which he seduced her. “You listen to me, Nelson. You say you don’t want to get involved with me. Sex, you would like maybe, but definitely without emotional attachment. Well, buddy, if you’re not going to mow my lawn, leave my lawn mower
a-lone.
And don’t forget both of us can play the game of seduction.”

“I’m sorry if you’re ticked off because I let you use your imagination. You weren’t alone. And as for my liking the sex, baby, so would you. Now let’s not hurt each other. It doesn’t make sense.”

“I know. It’s so frustrating.”

“Tell me about it. We’ll talk again soon.”

“We will. ’Night.”

She replaced the receiver with slow hands. Nobody could convince her that she and Nelson weren’t headed for a powerful combustion, and she was equally sure that Nelson was hiding something. And he would pay a price for it. An awesome price.

* * *

At work that Monday morning, Nelson had much on his mind. Flushed with the plaudits of the Commandant and fellow officers following his report on the MEU, he went to his office to think about Stacey Petin. Stacey, whose first and last names didn’t match. Realizing that he could start something to which there might not be an end, he dialed an officer in the National Security Service.

“Checkmate, Marilyn. This is Nelson,” he said, having signaled her to secure their conversation.

“Hi there. What’s up?”

He related his concern. “The child didn’t ask if my boy could visit her, but rather if she could visit him. Most kids want their friends to come to
their
house. I have no reason for suspicion, except that those names don’t make sense to me. Maybe it’s nothing, but these days I turn around if a long shadow approaches me from behind.”

“And you are smart to do it. I’ll check this out on the Q.T. As you say, it may be nothing. Be in touch.”

“Thanks.” After noting the conversation in his daily log, he dictated three letters to his secretary and went to lunch.

“Mind if I join you?” a colonel with a chestful of Kosovo arena ribbons asked him.

He nodded. “Glad for the company, man. You here for a while?”

“A couple of years, maybe. My wife isn’t well, so I won’t ask for overseas duty and I doubt the wigs will ask me to go.”

Nelson had never developed the habit of nicknaming his superiors, and he raised an eyebrow at the use of the term “wigs.” “With those battle ribbons on your chest, you shouldn’t have to go anywhere unless you ask. I hope your wife’s health improves.”

“Thanks. She’s coming along. By the way, I hear Rupe Holden’s being transferred back here from Afghanistan. I figure somebody thinks it’s been too quiet around here and things have been going too smoothly. Holden will definitely change
that
.”

Fortunately, Charlie Wills couldn’t see the rapid acceleration of his heartbeat and couldn’t feel the chills that raced through him. Lieutenant Colonel Rupert Holden lurked between him and his next promotion the way a river creeps along between shores. You could cross it, but you’d better have a solid boat. He didn’t welcome the man’s presence as a constant reminder that he teetered toward the abyss of failure.

* * *

Later, while sitting alone at home on his deck in the warm evening breeze, he catalogued his chances of rising to the top. He had paid his dues and he deserved the recompense, but in the service, anything could happen. He’d been able to move ahead because nothing weighed him down. Now he had a family, and... He didn’t like the thoughts that had begun to nag him with such persistence. Thoughts of Audrey and how just knowing her added a dimension to his life, one that—if he were honest—uplifted him, especially when he was in her company.

He got up and walked slowly into the hallway where the wall phone hung and dialed her number. He didn’t question his deed or agonize about it. He wanted to see her and she was unattached, as was he. They could do as they pleased.

“Hello, Nelson.”

“What? Did you install caller ID? I want you to come for a walk with me.”

“For a... Now?”

“Yeah. I’ll come get you.”

“Nelson, look here.” He didn’t hear outrage, but a pleading that he suspected was born of frustration. “What are you doing to me? You swear you don’t want a relationship, yet—”

He interrupted her. “I’m not asking for the rest of your life, just an hour so I can feel like myself again. Besides, it’s a great night and I want to walk somewhere peaceful. With you.”

“That’s very romantic. Where would we go?”

“What do you say we walk along the Tidal Basin?”

“Are you serious? I’d rather walk along the Tidal Basin than anyplace else I know. I love going there, but I’ve never walked there at night.”

“It’s my favorite spot, too. May I come for you?”

“I’m crazy, but I’d like that a lot.”

She didn’t invite him to come in, but met him at the door and walked with him to the car holding his left thumb in her right hand. He thought about the meaning of her holding his thumb and about how he’d been a different person ever since she picked up her phone and said hello. But he didn’t consider the implications, nor did he care about them.

* * *

“I think it’s weird that we both love to walk around here,” Audrey said as they left the car and started along the path nearest the water’s edge. “Imagine being here on a night like this. I’m glad you called me.”

He stopped walking and tugged at her hand, silently urging her to step closer to him. “Be sure you mean every word you say. My head and my body are raising hell with each other, and I can’t even guess which will win. So don’t say anything that could mislead me, and I’ll try to be careful for your sake.”

“All right. How’s Ricky?”

“Asleep when I left. But let’s not make small talk. If you like we can walk quietly. Frankly, I’m not trying to communicate, I just want to be with you.”

Maybe he wasn’t communicating with words, but his behavior told her more than he wanted her to know. Still, she had a sense of peace and contentment as they walked in silence, her hand wrapped in his. Shadows of the trees formed patterns like lace, knit together as only nature could. Their El Greco–like elongated shapes preceded them, and the moon traveled with them as if eager to bless their joining.

The sound of a stone dropped into the water startled her, and she stopped walking and grasped Nelson’s arm. “What was that?”

“Nothing to fear. Either a frog or a fish. Don’t be afraid.”

“I didn’t think I was.”

He stood closer and his right hand reached out and slid down the side of her face in a caress that humbled her with its gentleness.

“It means a lot that you came down here with me. A lot.” He whispered the last two words. “I...care for you, and I’m telling you because I don’t want you to think I’m using you tonight. I’m not. I needed some peace of mind, and I knew I’d find it if you were with me.”

She stared up at him, examining his face, softened by the moonlight. He seemed bigger and taller than ever. A strong man with the bearing of a king. Accomplished. Self-assured. Why should he need her? For whatever reason, she knew with certainty that he did. Suddenly, his left hand went to the side of his neck, and she bit back a gasp.

“Does it hurt now?”

He nodded. “Yes. I never get a warning. All of a sudden it pains me.”

Her hand slid along his neck in a circular motion and pressed with increasing force into the muscles moving down to his shoulders.

“Is that a little better?”

“Anytime and anywhere you touch me makes me better.”

“Nelson, don’t—”

She was in his arms, and he swallowed her words as his tongue plunged into her and his fingers raced to find her nipple, his most able ally. Tremors shook her, and her body welcomed his gentle stroking of her breasts. She gripped his shoulder and sucked his tongue deeply into her mouth, feasting on it as though she were starved. His heat began to furl upward and around her the way steam rises from grilles on city streets. His hands rubbed and tormented her buttocks until she tried to scale his body, to fit herself to him. With a groan he lifted her, locked her to him, and let her feel his need. When she wrapped her legs around his hips and crossed her ankles, he set her away from him.

“Listen sweetheart, I didn’t bring you down here for this, much as I needed it. You understand?” When she didn’t respond, his arm tightened around her. “Is anything wrong? Are you okay?”

“Everything’s wrong and I definitely am not okay. I just can’t figure out why I lose my head with you. I know you didn’t plan for that to happen.” She shook her head. “It didn’t occur to me to put on the brakes. Explain that.”