Flyaway (28 page)

I feel myself moving. A push forward and the swans take me with them. They hold me with their wings and I start to run. We leap together in huge strides, their outstretched wings bearing my weight. I leap and leap, forcing myself to keep up with them. The swans begin to whoop, getting louder and louder as we run. As we start to take off I stumble, but the swans are beside me, supporting me, lifting me higher. I feel weightless, as if I've left my body far behind. The swans stretch out across the sky, their wings carrying me into the wind, whirring and beating all around. They're singing. Singing to take me home. Back to Dad. I clench my eyes shut tighter, and let them.

CHAPTER 62

T
here's something warm in my ear. A bad smell. Something is nuzzling me. It nudges me awake. My eyelids are too heavy. I hear the bugling of swans and I'm nudged again. Am I still flying? Something cold and wet touches my cheek. I try my eyelids again; manage to open them.

There's a black snout. A pink tongue. A snuffling sound. A dog. A hand reaches down and drags it away.

‘Get out of there, Dig!'

I know that voice. I blink, try to see where it's coming from. Everything's too blurry. Too dark. I try moving my head. I'm cold and stiff. The pink tongue tries to lick me. Then Granddad is there, leaning over me. His eyes are wide grey pools. There's a thick scarf around his neck.

‘Stay still. I'll help you.'

He presses my shoulders, and I feel the cold, jagged ground beneath me.

‘The swans,' I murmur.

Granddad leans over me again, smiles a little. ‘Yes,' he says. ‘I know. They came back. You did too.'

I feel my head sinking down. His arm slides under my neck. He lifts me up. And suddenly I'm weightless again, floating and flying. I look up at the night sky and the stars sparkle like sequins.

CHAPTER 63

I
can smell tomato soup. I open my eyes. I'm lying on Granddad's couch. He's in the armchair across from me, watching me carefully. He leans forward as I try to focus.

‘How are you feeling?' he says.

I start to sit up and a sharp pain shoots down my spine. I gasp. Granddad's there immediately, helping to make me comfortable against the cushions.

‘I've checked you over,' he murmurs. ‘There's nothing broken. I called your mother when I found you.'

For a second I want to reach forward and touch his face, just to know that he's real. I'm warmer than before. I can't hear the swans.

‘What happened?' I say.

Granddad puts his hand behind my shoulder, supporting me. His hands feel like the swans' wings, pushing me up. I
want to ask him if I was flying, I want to know what he saw. I glance out of the window and see the white-blue sky. There are no birds.

‘You were running,' Granddad murmurs. ‘Away from the hospital, running here. I heard the swans arrive so I went outside to see what was going on. I found you. You've been sleeping ever since.'

Granddad is watching me carefully. There's something about his expression that seems important somehow. Then I get it.

Dad.

I sit up quickly and feel pain in my legs and arms. Granddad tries to push me back against the couch, but I won't let him. Not until I know.

‘What happened?' I say, my voice a whisper. ‘Is Dad . . . ?'

I remember the mask over his mouth. Mum's face in the ward. That feeling of emptiness. I swallow the sick feeling in my throat as I wait for Granddad's words.

Granddad touches my chin, forces me to look at him. ‘Your father . . .' he begins, ‘. . . they think he'll pull through . . . he's responding now.'

I keep looking at Granddad's face. I listen to his breathing.

‘I thought . . .' I try to say. ‘I thought he was . . .'

I feel the wave in my throat, the tears prickling at my eyes. Granddad's eyes well up, too.

‘I know,' he says. 'I thought that as well.'

He hugs me tight. His jumper smells like woodsmoke and
fried food, and his body feels stiff. I wonder when he last really hugged someone.

‘We'd better get you to the hospital,' he says.

He leans away. He sits back on his heels and wipes his hands over his face.

‘Do you want to go now?' he asks. ‘Or do you want to lie here a little longer?'

‘Let's go now.'

He puts his arm around my waist as I stand. He half carries me to his car. It's so cold outside, colder than it's been for days. Our breath is like vapour trails. I make Granddad stop for a moment so I can hear the swans. I can't see them from here, but I know where they are: Granddad's lake, only a few hundred metres away. Granddad turns his head and listens with me. I shut my eyes. Is my swan there? When I look back at Granddad, he's still listening.

‘They haven't been back for six years,' he murmurs.

‘I know. Not since Nan . . .'

The words catch in my throat and I look up at Granddad. He nods.

‘Yes. Not since then.' He studies the sky above the lake and shakes his head a little. ‘It's what I wanted her to see, before she . . .' He struggles for words, coughs suddenly. ‘She shouldn't have been looking at four walls when she went. She wanted to be outside.'

He doesn't hold my gaze, but glances ahead to his car instead. Then he starts walking towards it. I let him lead me. There will be time to go back and see the swans another day.
Once a flock finds a roosting ground, they'll stay for a while. I wonder about my swan, floating with the rest of them. I clutch onto Granddad, and I'm glad that I led her here.

Granddad starts the car and drives slowly. There's no one on the ring road; no one else has woken up yet. I watch the fields blur past, the fields I must have run through last night. Frost makes them glisten and sparkle. There are starlings bobbing on the electricity wires. I wonder how she did it, how she flew. Was it me? Did I lead her? Or did she suddenly work out where her flock was and need to get to them?

I stretch across the gear stick and rest my head on Granddad's shoulder. ‘You're coming with me this time,' I say. ‘Into the hospital. He needs all of our strength.'

CHAPTER 64

I
make Granddad park the car, then wait for him to get out and join me. He takes a handkerchief and wipes it around his face.

‘I won't stay long,' he says.

We walk in together. I keep my hand inside the crook of his elbow. He coughs and blows his nose, and dawdles. We stop to wait for the lifts.

‘You're not going to disappear again, are you?' I ask. ‘When we get to Dad's ward?'

Granddad holds his handkerchief to his nose and blows loudly. He looks around at everyone else waiting for the lifts.

‘I'll stay,' he says. ‘Just for a bit. Seems the doctors are doing a good job with your father.'

I lead him down the corridor to Intensive Care. Mum is waiting outside the door. I brace myself, wait for her to grab
me by the shoulders and start telling me off. But instead, she hugs me. I breathe in the flowery smell of her cardigan.

‘I'm sorry,' she says. ‘I should have told you more of what was going on. You ran away so fast, I didn't have time to explain.' She pushes me back to look at my face. ‘Jack and I were worried.'

It's my turn to apologise. I look away, guilty. ‘Dad's OK, though?' I ask.

She nods. ‘He's still sick, Isla, but the medication is working now.'

‘But last night, he . . . ?'

‘I know.' She brushes her fingers through my hair. ‘I was scared too. But they've added in some different antibiotics, and he's responding. The infection's not as bad.'

‘Was it because of me?' I say. ‘Because I went to visit him after I'd been at the lake?'

She shakes her head quickly. ‘It's just something that happens,' she says. ‘One of those things, could have been anything.' Mum moves her hand to my forehead and pushes away my frown. ‘It's no one's fault.'

Jack's behind her. His eyes are reddish and small as if he hasn't slept. There's a bit of twig in his hair and a small leaf stuck to his jumper.

‘Where've you been?' I ask.

‘Went looking for you, you idiot.'

‘To the lake?'

He nods. He's looking at me strangely, a smile playing on his lips.

‘What did you see?'

‘I saw you running really fast and a swan chasing after you. Then I lost you.'

I smile back at him. ‘Couldn't keep up?'

‘No.' He frowns. ‘You just had a head start.' He keeps frowning as he watches me. ‘You OK now?' he asks.

I shrug. ‘If Dad is.'

I hear Mum talking softly to Granddad, thanking him for finding me. He's brushing away her gratitude.

‘It was the swans,' he says. ‘I wouldn't have gone out there if it hadn't been for their noise . . .‘

I let his words fade out behind me as I take a step towards Dad's ward. Jack comes with me, saying something to the nurse as we pass. We walk down the centre aisle of the room, past all the other patients. I see him immediately. There are tubes running into his arm and nose, but he no longer has the mask over his face. His eyes are closed. I walk up to him. He doesn't look that different to how he looked last night, still so sick. Jack comes to stand beside me.

‘His temperature's down,' he says. ‘And he's not asleep all the time.'

I brush my fingers lightly against Dad's arm. His eyes flicker open, just for a moment. He doesn't smile, doesn't move any other part of his face, but I know he's seen me . . . he knows I'm here. I place my hand on his. His skin still feels a little waxy. His fingers twitch and grip at mine.

‘I've brought Granddad to see you,' I say.

CHAPTER 65

I
don't hang about to watch Granddad go in. Instead, I go to find Harry. A nurse lets me in.

‘Haven't seen you for a few days,' she says.

Harry's door is open this time. He's sitting up in bed, but turned away from me and looking out of the window. Granddad's green beanie is still on his head. I can't see any orangey tufts of hair underneath it. My legs are shaking a bit when I take a step towards him. I think I'm nervous about how he will react to me after what happened at the lake. Perhaps he regrets it; perhaps he didn't want to kiss me. After all, it's three days since we went down there and I've had no text message from him. But when he turns towards me, his smile is brilliant and makes his whole face shine.