Flee (19 page)

“He's not afraid to cause a scene, is he?” Danny was annoyed, but not stupid. “I don't want to ruin Chad's party, so I think I'll make my getaway. But remember, Blake. Be careful. I'm here if you need me.” Again, the sincere voice. I didn't know whether to feel thankful or creeped out.

Danny ducked into the crowd and I turned to face Mateo. He was furious, and so was I. Why did he always have to overreact to everything? He reached me and opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

“Don't even start. I'm obviously fine. And you're overreacting. Do you know you just mowed down about ten people to get to me?” My anger was evident in my voice. I was even surprising myself at how mad I sounded, but honestly I was ticked. Mateo looked stunned. I had never spoken to him this way before.

“You owe several people an apology, Mateo, including me. It's like you don't even trust me! Maybe you should just give me a list of who I'm allowed to talk to and where I'm allowed to go. Would that make you happy?” My voice was high-pitched, audible to those closest around us. Several people had stopped dancing and were gathering in to watch.

Someone whispered, “Trouble in paradise?”

I knew I was being irrational and fought for control. Where had this come from?
Get a grip
, Blake, I mentally chastised myself.
You are being way unfair
. But I was mad, and I was letting that emotion completely control me. I opened my mouth to apologize but changed my mind when I saw the funny smirk on Mateo's face. It set me off again. “Maybe you could start telling me how to dress, too!”

Wow. I was really losing it. And I was an idiot. I loved this man. Why was I yelling at him? Tears sprang to my eyes and I looked down, embarrassed.

“Come on. Let's go.” Mateo's voice was gentle, his touch on my arm soft. “That is, if you still want to.”

I looked up at his smiling face, noting his dimples and twinkling eyes. Twinkling. What? I light into him, and he's amused. Never mind what was wrong with me. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he have a normal reaction? It was so maddening! And, I had to admit, kind of sweet.

“Okay.” I grabbed his hand, slightly chagrined. He led me back though the crowd, which now parted like the Red Sea to let us pass. I noticed him apologizing to a few guys and girls along the way, his gentle charm easily winning their forgiveness. It seemed a million eyes were on me, and my face burned.
Yes
, I wanted to shout
, I'm a jerk
. It felt like every crazy conflicting emotion of the past year were all crushing down on me at once, and I couldn't think. I just wanted to scream and run. Hey, that wasn't such a bad idea. Could I just strip off these stupid, pinching shoes and take off running, swirly skirt and all?

My head was down so I didn't notice at first when we arrived at Mateo's truck. He stopped walking, but I didn't look up. Why wasn't he mad at me? Was his smile peaceful and amused because he had had enough, and it was time to cut me loose? Was he going to dump me here and now? That thought made me cry, and my mortification increased. Had I scared him off? He should be scared off. I had been nothing but trouble for him since day one. Trouble and expense. He still wouldn't let me help pay for security. I had taken away his freedom, added to his worries and his work load, required great emotional support and drained his bank account, and what he got in return was a raving madwoman with a bad bouffant and smeared mascara.

“Hey.” He placed his finger under my chin and gently pushed up my face until I was looking in his eyes. “You okay?”

I nodded yes, and then no, and then I burst into tears. He pulled me into his arms and let me cry, saying nothing. “I'm sorry,” I finally managed, in between embarrassing sobs. “I don't know what's wrong with me. I'll try to get control of myself and not do that again. Please give me a chance.”

“Whoa,” Mateo responded, pushing me back to look me in the eyes again. “What do you think you need a chance at? Do you think you've scared me away?”

I nodded again, barely perceptively. I was afraid to even bring up the possibility that he would leave.

“Blake.” Mateo paused and pulled my face up again.

Why was I having a hard time making eye contact? I felt like a petulant child.

“Blake,” he started again. “You can't scare me off. I love you, remember? And you're right. I'm being controlling. I'm sorry. I'm just so scared something is going to happen to you.” His voice broke at the end of his statement.

I finally looked into his eyes.

“And I don't like Danny. He just brings out the worst in me for some reason. I can't bring myself to trust him. But I can't stop you from talking to him, either. Just be careful, okay?”

I nodded for the third time, not able to bring myself to speak. How was he gracious when I was so deranged? I didn't deserve him.

“Okay.” I tried to smile through my demented tears, which for some reason were still falling down my cheeks.

“So, I have an idea,” he said, opening the truck door and waiting for me to climb in before shutting it and walking around to his side. “It's still relatively early. How about instead of an early morning run, we go lace on some tennis shoes and go for a night run? Is that too lame of a way to spend Halloween?”

I looked at him, startled. He had an uncanny ability to read my mind. Or maybe he was just really in tune to what I wanted.

“Will there be candy?” I asked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Sure, if you want it.”

“Then that sounds perfect,” I replied, trying to sound light and bubbly, but failing miserably. We drove to Mateo's house quietly, my left hand in his while I used my right hand to mop up the black river flowing down my face.

We arrived, and I slipped quietly over to
my
room to change. True to her word, Meg had redecorated one of the bedrooms to suit my taste. It was beautiful, a soft and fun and slightly funky sanctuary, filled with so many pictures of Mateo and me that you would think we had been together for years. There were also pictures of Meg and me, and Doodles and Hector and Joe, Mary and the kids, and Mateo's family. I knew she was trying to give me a sense of family. It was working, at least until I looked at the blank frames on the bookshelf. Those were for pictures of Mom, Dad, and Brody. I hadn't been able to fill them yet.

My closet was stocked, too. Meg had insisted on taking me shopping, an experience that had been both fun and bittersweet, and I was never at a loss for clothes for any occasion here. The only thing missing were school uniforms. I had more to wear here than at Joe and Mary's, and I liked it that way. It made it feel more like home. I even napped on my bed from time to time and did my homework at my desk. The only thing I didn't do here was sleep at night.

Throwing on running clothes and shoes, I quickly scrubbed my face and then went in search of Mateo. He was with Meg in the kitchen. She was scrolling through her digital camera, showing him pictures of the cute trick-or-treaters who had visited the house earlier. She put down the camera when I approached and came over to hug me, taking in my puffy red eyes.

“Hi sweetie,” she whispered in my ear, and I felt instantly calmed.
Mom
, I thought.
That's what I need. Moms understand
. Understand what, I didn't know. But moms loved you no matter what. They had to.

“Mateo tells me you're not quite yourself tonight?” She whispered again, too low to be overheard, as she gently led me to a barstool.

No, I thought. I was definitely not that. I was angry and irrational and emotional and crampy… Oh,
crampy
. I sat without thinking, bewildered for a moment while everything clicked into place. So, that was it. I was not going bipolar, I was PMS-ing. It was a relief to know I wasn't going crazy.

There was no way Mateo could have known, but he had been kind and patient to me anyway. He was just that kind of guy. Again, I was filled with the sense that I didn't deserve him. I glanced over at him, laughing when I saw him hiding behind the open fridge door. He peeked around it and raised an eyebrow at me.

“It's okay. I won't bite.”

“Whew,” he replied, closing the fridge and coming to stand beside me. “I was wondering if I was going to have to go in search of Doodles' muzzle.”

I hit his arm, making him wince.

“I never said I didn't hit.”

“Then maybe I should remove myself to a safe distance before I tell you there has been a change in plans.”

“If it's a good change, you're safe,” I took in Meg's shorts and tennis shoes. Then Hector entered through the patio door similarly attired, Doodles at his feet. Everyone stopped and looked at me expectantly.

“What's up?” I asked.

“Well, I promised you a run, but on second thought, I don't think jogging through the neighborhood in the dark on Halloween is safe. Since the school track is locked up and only one of us will fit on the treadmill at a time, I thought a little two-versus-two
fútbol
?”

He said
fútbol
with a full-on Spanish accent. It was adorably sexy. I grinned.

“Cry it out, sweat it out, whatever it takes to restore a little balance and get those endorphins pumping.” Meg headed for the back door and I stood to follow.

“So, who's playing whom?” I asked as we approached the field. It was already lit. “Is it men versus women, old versus young…”

“Old?” Hector chucked the ball he had been holding at me.

I headed it back to him.

“Señorita, I will have you know I am in my prime. Lucky for you, I'm also your partner. All you have to do is stand there and look beautiful and allow me to do my thing.”

He winked at me and turned to jog to the far end of the small field. I watched him warm up. He really was a great man, kind and honest and hardworking and handsome, with a tantalizing accent to boot. I know he was relieved to be here working with Mateo and no longer tangled up on the wrong side of the Reyna family business. In many ways, he was as much of a victim of the last two years as Meg and Mateo.

“Hey, remember me?” Mateo was waving his hand in front of my face, as if to awaken me from a trance.

“Hmm, I have a vague recollection,” I teased, following him onto the field.

The game was laidback and fun. Mateo was obviously holding back, allowing all of us to have plenty of touches on the ball. He let Meg take the scoring opportunities for their team, although she had trouble getting past Hector who guarded the goal with ferocity. Meg was athletic and good, and Hector was fierce, playing as if national pride were on the line, but no one could hold a candle to Mateo. Like before, I found myself distracted from playing just to watch him effortlessly handle the ball. This drove Hector crazy, who more than once yelled at me to keep my head in the game.

“He is your enemy now, Blake.” He pronounced enemy with all long
e
sounds and made me laugh. “I-yi-yi. We are doomed.”

After thirty minutes of play, the score stood at two to one, mostly because Mateo wasn't taking shots. Meg had managed to punch two past Hector, who took it as a personal insult. He had retaliated on the second goal by knocking a surprised Mateo to the ground and taking a quick shot while he was down. Meg had demanded a red card, but Hector had grinned and asked her if she saw a ref anywhere. Mateo had just laughed good-naturedly.

“I don't know about you, kids, or you, old man,” Meg said, glancing at Hector, “but I'm getting tired and it's getting late. How ‘bout next goal wins?”

“Oh, you're on, old woman,” Hector returned, a wicked look on his face.

Meg glanced at Mateo, who nodded and grinned. It was obvious their plan was to allow Mateo to take it in and score, and Hector and I both knew we didn't have the skill to stop him. So why was Hector looking so pleased? He called for a time out, and I stood still as he whispered his plan in my ear.

“Uh, Hector, I don't think that's a good plan.” Actually, I liked the plan, but I was afraid Mateo would not react well. Did I dare?

“
Por favor,
Blake? It's the perfect distraction, and I just need one second to punch it in.
Vámonos!
” This last word he yelled as he kicked the ball into play, leaving me no opportunity to argue further. It was just as well. I really didn't want to argue, and I was excited and nervous at the same time. The little voice in the back of my head told me not to play along, but I quickly silenced it.

Hector and I passed the ball back and forth a few times without advancing down the field while Meg and Mateo waited for us to make our move. Suddenly, Hector took off down the right, pointing me left and then shooting a pass my way. Mateo moved to cover me, as Hector knew he would. As instructed I trapped the ball, and then before Mateo could take it from me, I jumped up and grabbed his head, pulling it toward me and kissing him fully and softly on his lips while passing the ball back to Hector.

He had only asked for a one second distraction, but he got more. He quickly dribbled past Meg, who was doubled over laughing, and shot the ball into the goal for the win.

I stood my ground in front of Mateo, defiantly looking him in the eyes while he stood there stunned. I was just beginning to feel the stirrings of my conscious when he unexpectedly smiled.

“You're rebellious tonight, aren't you?”

His tone was light but his eyes were boring into mine with an intensity I had not seen before in them. He leaned forward then, and for one startled, brilliant moment, I thought he was going to kiss me back.

Instead, he whispered softly in my ear, “You're driving me crazy, ya know?”

My lips turned out in a pout. “Just so you know, I am not on board.” The petulant child was back. I was as frustrated as I had been before, the only difference being that now I wasn't just frustrated, I was sweaty and frustrated. So much for endorphins.