Flawed Heart (House Of Obsidian #1) (19 page)

“Where’re you goin’?” Max asks, narrowing his eyes with concern.

“Anywhere but here,” I snap.

Imogen runs out and I scoop her up, leaving the house before any of them can say any more.

I need time; I need to process. My mother just passed and my sister is more worried about why I’m with Max. I buckle Immy into the car and then I drive back to my apartment. I just need to be away from all of them. I need to grieve. I need to think about what happened with Max last night, and I need to spend time with my daughter.

When I arrive home, I see that Tyke’s bike is out front. In fact, there are quite a few bikes out front. Just magical. I sigh and get Immy out of the car. I’ll just say a quick hello and retreat to my room, they don’t usually bother me too much. I take Immy’s hand and lead her inside, and the moment I step in, I’m faced with a mass of sexiness.

Tyke’s brothers, or so he calls them, are as hot, if not hotter than he is. The only ones I know are Maddox, who is the club president and super smokin’ hot, Krypt, who is the vice president, and Mack, who is a club member like Tyke. They’re all good-looking men, gruff and dangerous, ranging from dark and deadly to Native American and mysterious.

“Belle!” Santana waves. “How are you?”

I force a smile, but it’s weak.

“Sorry to bother you guys. I’m . . . I’ll be in my room.”

“Is everything okay?” Pippa asks, standing from her position on Tyke’s lap and walking over.

“My mom passed away last night.”

Her eyes go wide, and then she wraps her arms around me. Before I know it, all the girls are huddling together, wrapping me in a giant hug. I can’t hold back the tears. I let them flow freely, still holding Imogen to my side, but letting them all hold me while I do. When they pull back, a few of them have their very own tears.

“Are you okay?” Jaylah, Mack’s Old Lady, asks.

“I’m doing as good as I can be, I guess.”

“I’m so sorry,” Santana says, clutching my hand.

“Me too.” Ash smiles sadly.

“Come on, let me take Immy for a few hours. You look exhausted,” Pippa offers.

“It’s okay, really.”

“It’s no problem. We’ll watch movies and make popcorn.”

“Can I please stay with Aunty Pippa?” Immy begs.

“Of course, baby,” I say, not even attempting the argument.

“If you need me to take her, anytime,” Pippa says, squeezing my shoulder, “you know I will. It’s going to be a hard few days. Let me take that pressure off. You’ll be happier knowing she’s away from it all.”

She’s right about that.

“Thank you, Pip.”

“Go and have a nice long bath, get some rest, and then we’ll help you with anything you need. I’m so sorry, Anabelle.”

I hug her again and give the guys a small wave. I get a range of nods back, but their eyes are sympathetic for me. I kneel down to Immy, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “Are you going to be okay, sweetheart?”

“Yes, Mommy,” she grins. “I’m going to watch movies!”

She loves movies, so this makes her more than happy.

“That’s super great. I’m sure Aunty Pippa makes the best popcorn, too. Mommy will be upstairs, okay?”

She hugs me and then runs off, waving to the bikers, not at all worried by their presence. They all love her, and immediately start a conversation with her. Smiling and shaking my head, I hug Pippa and thank her again before walking upstairs and stepping into my room. My chest is tight; it feels as if it’s going to explode, but I fight past it and force myself into the shower.

The warm water does nothing to ease the pain in my heart. I see my mom’s beautiful smile, and hear her laughter, and it hurts. It hurts so fucking bad. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. God dammit, I didn’t even get to say goodbye. Did she know I loved her? Did I tell her enough? I just want her back. I want five more minutes. I want to tell her I’m happy, that I’ll be okay.

I didn’t want her to die worrying.

And she did.

Tears explode from my eyes, and I’m so tired of them, but I can’t keep fighting the waterfall that needs to run free to ease the pain in my chest. So I cry. I cry until I’m gasping for air and my entire body is shaking. I cry so hard I don’t hear the door open, I don’t see the shower door move and I don’t notice anyone is there until the shower goes off and a set of hard arms curl around me.

I don’t stop crying. I don’t even fight.

A warm towel is pressed against my skin, and I bury my face into the cotton of the T-shirt that is covering a chest I love so much. There’s only one person brave enough to chase me when I storm out, and that’s the man I love so much. The only person who knows me better than anyone. The only person who understands me.

“Make it go away,” I sob violently. “Max, just make it go away.”

“Can’t do that, sweetheart,” he murmurs, sitting down onto the bed.

I curl my fingers into his shirt and tug over and over, just wanting it all to go away. He lets me; he lets me cling to his shirt until my knuckles are white. My body trembles in his arms and everything inside me aches so hard that I just want to claw at my own skin to make it stop.

“I didn’t get to say goodbye, Max.”

“Sometimes that happens, but she was prepared for it, Belle, and so were you.”

“I didn’t tell her I loved her.”

“You think she didn’t know that?”

“But I didn’t get to say it one last time.”

He squeezes me tightly. “There’s never a last time. You can tell her as many times as you want, even now.”

“She was worried for me, worried I wouldn’t be happy. I wanted her to die in peace.”

“She did, Belle.”

“No, she didn’t. I was a mess, Max. Always a damned mess, over you, over the things that went wrong . . .”

“She knew you’d be happy,” he says, his voice thick. “Because I told her you would be.”

I go still in his arms. “What?”

“I went and seen her, the day before she died. I wanted to—ah, I don’t fucking know, clear the air I guess.”

“You went to see her?” I whisper.

“Yeah, and when I was there, she told me a lot of things, but she asked me . . . she asked me to take care of you.”

“And you told her you would just to make her happy?”

“No, baby,” he says, clutching me tighter. “I told her because I fucking meant it.”

I start crying again.

“She told me that I was the only thing you’d ever want or need, and all she wanted before she went was to know you’d have what you deserved.”

“She thinks I deserved you?” I sob.

“Yeah, and she was right.”

“I don’t deserve you, Max. I don’t deserve anyone.”

“That ain’t the truth, Blue Belle, and you know it.”

“I don’t,” I cry out, jerking his shirt. “I let you push me away, and I didn’t even know you were suffering.”

“No, you didn’t, but I didn’t make it easy. You can’t live holding onto the past. It’s a toxic place that’ll only bring you pain. We’re here now, aren’t we?”

“Being without you—God, Max, it was horrible.”

“Yeah,” he says. “It fucking was.”

“Y-y-you said that you . . . that we . . .”

“We gotta go slow, but I’m being a fucking fool if I say I’m not desperate to have you back in my life. Fuck, I love you, Blue Belle. You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved.”

“You do?” I squeak.

“Abso-fucking-lutely, and nothing is going to stand in my way of fixing what I broke, but it’s going to take time, and I think we both need that time.”

“I think you’re right.”

“But hear me now, kid,” he says, leaning down and pressing his forehead to mine. “Nobody is going to take you from me. Nobody. Not even you.”

“I can live with that,” I croak.

He grins. “Fuckin’ glad, baby.”

I kiss his jaw.

Maybe the light at the end of the tunnel is finally starting to shine through.

~*~*~*~

W
e buried Mom five days later with a simple but beautiful service. We laid her down next to Dad, the place she’d most want to be. Heaps of people came to pay their respects, and Tina was apologetic to me for her outburst in regards to Max. I was glad, because saying goodbye to Mom was hard, and I needed her there.

It’s been two weeks since that day, and things have been hard. Some days are easier than others, but mostly they’re getting better and not worse. Max has been taking Imogen on his days off, spending as much time with her as he can, and she’s thriving. She adores him, and he loves her with his whole soul.

I haven’t spent much time with him, though every time we’re alone, he takes me into his arms and kisses me long and hard. He’s been holding back, claiming we have to do this the right way, and that’s slow. We don’t want to lead Immy on and then crush her if things don’t work out, so we’ve been mostly hanging together as a family.

The more time I spend with him, the more desperate I’m getting for more of him.

Tonight I’m going to watch him fight with the girls from the club. They’re coming because Rainer is fighting Max tonight. It would seem that after Max fought with Rainer, he decided he wanted him to start fighting for him. Max obviously saw talent in the sexy bartender, and now Rainer spends his weekends in the
House Of Obsidian
, fighting for extra cash. He’s good too, from what I’ve heard.

I’m both nervous and excited to see Max fight, because it’s something I don’t link to good memories. Every time I’ve seen him fight it’s ended badly, but tonight I know it’ll be different. Tonight he wants me there, and tonight I want to be there. So the girls and I have basically spent the entire afternoon decking ourselves out, and now we’re ready to see the men get down and dirty.

The club is pounding when we arrive, which isn’t surprising for a Saturday night. There’s a massive line up at the door, but we get in straight away because Max made sure the bouncer knew who we were. It’s a tight squeeze inside, but we manage to get to the bar to order a drink. The girls have all their men with them, so right now I’m the only one without a gorgeous male on my arm.

I adjust my short dress and take the drink handed to me. I’m not used to wearing something so revealing, but Santana assured me it looked amazing, and paired with my high black pumps, she claimed I would have Max eating out of the palm of my hand. I’m not so sure about that, but I went along with it and let her deck me out.

The dress itself is actually cute, and on any other woman I’d probably be envious. It’s just not something I’m used to. It’s short and tight at the bottom, but the top dips down with ruffles flowing down over the top of my belly. It opens up around my breasts to expose good cleavage and has one hell of a back dip. Santana compromised with me on my hair, letting me have it down with thick curls, so that my back wasn’t so exposed.

“This club is amazing!” Jaylah yells, tucking herself into Mack’s side.

“Heck yeah!” Ash cries, knocking back a shot. Krypt taps her hand in warning, and she grins at him.

I smile and turn towards Pippa, who is scanning the crowd with her eyes, no doubt looking for Rainer. The two of them have a serious bond, though I don’t know why. I guess that’s Pippa’s story to tell so I don’t pry. She loves Tyke, I don’t doubt that, but I think a small part of her might just love Rainer, too. Not that I can blame her; Rainer is an amazing guy.

“Didn’t think I’d see you back here again.”

I spin around quickly at the sound of a familiar voice, and grin when I see Raide, the man I met last time I was here, standing at the bar, looking handsome as all hell in his black button-up shirt, rolled up at the elbows, and black jeans.

“I didn’t think I’d see you again. How are you, Raide?”

He flashes me a grin. “I’m good, what about you, darlin’?”

I shrug. “Oh you know, kicking on. Are you fighting tonight?”

He grunts. “Fuck no. I had my one fight, I’m good now. I’m here to see Max.”

“Oh? What for?”

He leans in close. “If I tell you, I might have to kill you.”

I scoff. “Come off it. We both know you couldn’t kill a face like this.”

He laughs. “You’re right about that, but if I tell you why I’m here, I might at least have to zip your lips closed.”

“Why?” I say, wiggling closer. “Did you kill someone and tuck their body beneath the club?”

“No, but it might be my body tucked under there if I don’t get my ass moving soon.”

“Why do I get the feeling you’re not supposed to be here?”

He tilts his head back and swallows the amber whiskey in his glass. “That would be because I’m not meant to be.”

He stands and walks towards the back end of the club, where the entrance to the fighting ring is. I jump up and follow him. “You can’t leave me in suspense. Come on! Share!”

“I skipped bail,” he says, shoving people out of his way.

“Wait, you what?”

I get stuck behind some people, so he reaches back and takes my wrist, pulling me along with him.

“Yeah. I guess you could say I’m a fugitive on the run.”

“Seriously?” I yell over the music.

“Yep.”

“What’d you do?”

He looks back at me. “That information I would have to kill you for.”

I grin and he returns it, full force.

“Okay, so aren’t you supposed to be hiding or something?”

“I’m lookin’ for someone.”

“So you skipped bail to look for someone? Are you bringing justice before you go to prison?”

He reaches the door and the bouncer nods us through. “That’s exactly what I’m doing.”

“Bad ass,” I say.

“Anymore questions?”

I laugh. “One more . . . won’t you have a bounty hunter after you?”

He snorts and we start down the stairs, his hand still wrapped around my wrist. “Probably, but those fuckers won’t get their hands on me.”

“What makes you think that?”

He turns and raises his brows. “Look at the size of me. Do you really think it’d be that easy?”

“So you’re like Hercules re-invented. They have tasers . . . and guns.”

“And I’m smart. Those guys won’t get hold of me.”

“Maybe they won’t be guys. Maybe they’ll send in a really hot girl to melt your pants clean off and handcuff you while she’s making you squeal.”