Flaw (The Flaw Series) (10 page)

“Yes,” I say, while shaking my head no. I think, but I’m not sure, she’s hitting on me. “Us sleeping together, being we work together and everything might be weird. But…”

“What?” She snaps her head back, disgust across her face. “I’m not talking about you. God, now you just went and made it all weird, I just thought you would be able to relate after what happened with you and Becca tonight.”

“Sorry, the way you were talking I thought you meant me. I think it was the use of the word ‘flaw.’ I don’t think there was anyone out there more flawed than me.”

“Oh, really, and how are you so flawed?”

“Well, I’m almost the same age as you and I’ve had zero ‘real’ girlfriends. But not because I’m perfect, far from it, the complete opposite. I’m the asshole who everyone hates.”

“No you’re not. I don’t think you’re an asshole. I actually like you a lot.” She holds up her hand. “As a friend.”

“You consider me a friend?” I cup my hands together and blow into them, warming them up against the cold.

“Yes, definitely. I consider you my friend. I think you’re a great guy.” She tilts her head to the side. “I also think you have a thing for Becca and I think, after watching what happened tonight, that the feeling is mutual.”

“She’s with Aidan.”

“Are they really together?” Jordyn squints her eyes in question. The temperature outside has to be close to freezing, but I don’t think that’s why she starts shivering.

I’ve asked myself the same question about Becca and Aidan and sometimes the answer I allow myself to believe is that they’re not really together. But that’s a dangerous way to think.

I wrap Jordyn up in a quick hug and open the door to her car. “I think it’s time you get your perfect ass outta here and go home and get some rest.”

“I think you should talk to Becca,” she says, before closing the door.

I wish I could talk to Becca. It’s not that easy. “We’ll see.”

I send Jordyn a wave as she drives away. Who’s the flawed guy she’s all into? I walk down the street, hands tucked in my pockets.
Aidan?
No. Impossible.

A few steps further I’m still thinking about it. Jordyn did ask for his number. Did she call it? His face certainly qualifies as a flaw, but they don’t even know each other. Besides, he already has someone. And I pray to God that someone didn’t tell him what I did tonight on the dance floor.

Aidan

The new seating arrangement in our living room has somehow wound up with me and Josh on opposite ends of the couch and Becca alone in Josh’s leather chair. The time we used to spend curled up in a cuddle on the couch is all but gone. I don’t feel so much that I’m part of a couple as much as part of a trio.

“Hey Josh, thanks for the chocolate chips.” Becca opens her mouth towards Josh and displays a mouth full of partially chewed chocolate chips.

“You’re welcome, Becks.” Josh responds the same disgusting way.

I catch Becca’s eye and she closes her mouth, swallowing down the remaining chocolate. “What?” she asks, turning her nose up towards me. “You don’t think I’m sexy when I do this?”

“No,” I reply, looking back over at the TV.

“What about me? Am I sexy?” Josh asks. I hear that his mouth is full and refuse to look over. Becca’s laughter shakes the apartment as she clings to “her chair” to keep from falling out. Josh nearly chokes on the chocolate when he follows her lead in deep belly laughs. In this trio, I’m the odd man out. Every silly thing Becca does, Josh joins right in and vice versa. They amuse each other in ridiculous ways that annoy the hell out of me.

“I can’t hear the TV,” I say, pointing the remote at the screen and raising the volume. Becca huffs, slouching down in the chair, arms folded. Once again I’ve ruined all the fun for these two.

Josh’s phone sounds and he looks down, reads, and replies. This repeats a few more times. Becca picks her head up, curious as to whom he’s texting.
Me, I don’t give a shit
.

“It was just Jordyn,” he supplies to Becca.
Great, now I do care
.

“She wants you to work?” Becca asks.

“No, she wants me to go to some family wedding with her. I said ‘yes’ and now she’s telling me it’s in New Jersey. It’s gonna be an overnight thing. She’s asking if it’s okay if she books one room or if she should book two.”

“What did you say?” I’m glad Becca asks because I am wondering the exact same thing.

“I told her one is fine.” Josh reads something on his phone and laughs. He types a reply and I see Becca craning her neck in hopes of seeing what he’s typing. Josh notices, too. “I wrote,
as long as you can keep your hands off of me
and she wrote back
does putting them around your neck count?
”

“Wow, she’s such a bitch. Why are you going with her?” Becca’s face twists into a scowl. She’s no longer in a laughing mood. “I can’t believe she’s making you go all the way to a wedding with her in Jersey and making you spend the night in her
room
,” she gulps the last word.

I’m bothered. But not at Becca’s obvious jealousy over Jordyn’s invite to Josh, but at my own jealousy. I haven’t heard from Jordyn since the day I spent dressed up as her prince. I was prepared with a polite response to turn her down if she asked me to work with her again. She didn’t. Three weeks later and I haven’t heard a word from her, although Josh mentions her quite a bit. From what I can tell there’s nothing but a friendship between them, but now there’s this weekend away wedding invite and the blood in my veins is pumping. I take turns crashing a fist into each hand, cracking my knuckles. The TV blares on. I’m restless watching the screen, suddenly in desperate need of something to do.

Becca goes quiet, pulling a blanket over herself, resting her head on the arm of the chair. Josh puts his phone down on the side table. No more texts coming in from Jordyn.

Standing up from the couch, I twist from side to side until my back cracks. “I’m gonna get dressed and go over to the gym.”

Neither lifeless form acknowledges me. I lock myself in my room, reaching for my phone, and start typing.
Hey princess
. I erase the two words. What am I doing? Tossing the phone onto my bed, I throw on some jogging pants and a t-shirt.

Don’t text her
. The instruction I give myself is simple. So then why can’t I follow it? My fingers type against my will and I hit send.

Aidan:
Hey, how’s it going?

I shouldn’t have done it.
Stupid
. She doesn’t reply.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid
.

In the front room Becca and Josh have re-opened the bag of chocolate chips. Becca holds out her hand and Josh pours too many from the bag, spilling them over her hand onto the floor. This results in two people scrambling to the floor laughing, rushing to see who can scoop up more first. I walk out the door, positive that neither one of them even know I walked through the room.

She isn’t going to reply but I position my phone in the cup holder of the treadmill. I start my run staring down at the phone. Jordyn has controlled most of my thoughts these last few weeks. When I’m asleep I dream about her. I even did a sketch this week with her in mind. An intricate heart, it took hours to finish and get it just the way I wanted. I wanted it perfect.

And as nice as Becca told me waking up with my arms around her felt, she hasn’t slept in my bed once since that night. I’m not sure what Becca and I are doing anymore.

As I’m winding down my run the phone goes off, vibrating against the sturdy plastic of the machine. The treadmill slows down and the second it stops I reach for the phone and read.

Jordyn:
You sent me a text. I feel so special. Figured you forgot all about me.

I lean back on the treadmill and a smile spreads across my face. I hadn’t come close to forgetting about her. Not for one second.

Aidan:
I think it’s u who forgot. Moved on to the next prince?

Jordyn:
Nope, not this princess. What r u doing?

Aidan:
At the gym, just finished running. Surprised I haven’t seen u here.

Jordyn:
Why? Do u need a gym buddy?

Is she offering to come to the gym? If I say yes, will she come? Picturing her coming in dressed like last time in those shorts makes part of my body stir. Picturing her dressed in anything gets me crazed. I’m waiting too long to respond, not sure what to say.
Fuck it
. I want her here and I’m gonna text her just that.

A knock on the window keeps me from replying. Is it Jordyn? Was she sending me those texts from right outside? It’s gotta be. Who else would be here knocking on the glass this late at night? I jog over to the door, hands fumbling to unlock it. When the door opens, it’s not Jordyn. It’s Becca on the other side.

Large snowflakes fall onto her brown wool hat. Her hands are stuffed in oversized knit mittens. She looks up at me and smiles. “It started to snow.”

“You walked all the way down here because it started to snow?” I say, still a bit taken aback to see her standing in front of me.

She blinks the snow from her lashes and bites down on her lip. “I miss you.” Mittened hands fly up around my neck.

I pull her in, my own arms wrapping her up. “Whoa, what is this? What’s going on?”

“You’re so special to me, Aidan. I love you. I really do.”

“I love you, too. Is everything okay?”

“Yes, I just know it’s been weird with us and I want to fix it. I feel awful. It’s like everything is wrong lately.” Her head drops down, her hands travel away from me back into her pockets. “I…”

The phone I’m still hanging onto signals an incoming message. I know it’s a text coming in and I know who it’s from. Ignoring it, I slide the phone into the front pocket of my sweats.

“Who’s sending you a text this late?” Becca looks down at the phone I have hidden in the front of my pants. “You gonna even look at it?”

Quick thinking is needed. “I set the alarm so I could know when my workout was over. I time it.” The lie sounds ridiculous but she buys it. Or at least pretends to.

I run back to the bench where I left my few belongings and grab everything to leave. With my back to Becca, I casually pull out my phone and check the text.

Jordyn:
You never replied. Looks like u don’t need a gym buddy. Too bad.

My heart drops. I can’t even send her a reply now. I look like a dick texting her, than just stopping in the middle like that. Sending her a text later will just seem worse. Serves me right. I had no business texting her in the first place.

“Aidan, I’ve been thinking about what we talked about,” Becca says when I walk back over to her.

“What do you mean?” I close the door behind us and we start walking down the street to our apartment building.

“If there’s more to us.” She grabs my arm, pulling us both to a stop. “Kiss me, Aidan. A real kiss. Right here in the middle of the street, in the snow. It’ll be perfect.” She pulls herself up on her toes and brings her lips to meet mine. Her eyes shut and my lips stay closed, pressed against her rigid ones.

We’re kissing. I’m kissing Becca. But it isn’t perfect. I know we both know this. For some reason we’re pretending.

Our kiss ends and the embrace falls to hand holding. We stroll down the street leaving footprints in the fresh snow.

“We’re good together, me and you. We’re right for each other,” Becca says, tightening her grip on my hand. “We protect each other from getting hurt.”

The automatic response to these things she saying, to kissing her, should be that they make me feel happy. Instead my thoughts are confused, jumbled by the kiss, still focusing on the unanswered text in my pocket. I love the girl who just kissed me, but there’s another girl I want to kiss. Badly.

I hold Becca’s hand the rest of the way home. At her door I give her a small kiss after we say goodnight.

“What’s going through your head right now?” She pulls her hands free of the mittens, reaches up and taps her finger on my forehead. “You’ve been quiet since we kissed back there.”

“We are good together.” It’s the truth. We are. I know Becca is someone I can trust, someone who doesn’t judge my past, someone I feel comfortable around. I bend down for another quick kiss, grazing the top of her nose.

She returns the smile I give before disappearing inside her apartment. My smile fades once her door closes. We are good together, but why are things changing with us? Why now?

I run the water in the shower, stripping my clothes off, and look at my reflection as the mirror fills with steam. The face staring back is ridden with guilt.

Jordyn
.

Even in the shower the phone I left on the edge of the sink taunts me. Soaking wet, I step from the shower and pick up the phone.
I need to see you
, dripping wet fingers type before backspacing to clear the message away. This is bullshit. Once again the wrong girl is clouding my head. Got me so riled up I can’t even think straight. I step back into the shower and turn the faucet to the right.

God damn
,
this water’s cold
.

Josh

“Tell me the plan again.” Jordyn’s driving. She insisted. I’d prefer to have my car but what can I do? This is her family event and she’s calling all the shots. We packed up the car and left Pennsylvania first thing this morning to make the two-hour drive into Jersey.

“We’ll check into the hotel. Get dressed and go to the church. The reception is right after and tomorrow morning we can have breakfast and head back home,” she says.

“So when we get to this wedding, are you going to leave me all night? Will I be stuck at the table smiling at people I don’t know? Making uncomfortable small talk about how good the food is?”

“No, I’m sure you’ll have no problem finding someone to talk with. My cousins are great, you’ll love them. During cocktail hour you can hit the bar, have a few drinks and relax. And no, I won’t leave you alone. Well, not for too long.”

We’re coasting along fine, making good time until we hit the Parkway. The traffic on the south side is at a standstill. After a few moments without moving, we hear sirens and red lights whizz down the shoulder of the road.