Flash and Fire (26 page)

And if he was wrong about that, about her not wanting a commitment, then what? he thought. He’d run off and leave her. He knew that. That was what he always wanted—no strings, no ties, no obligations.

So why the hell was he so restless?

Because, he told himself, he was chafing at shackles that might be. Nothing more than that.

Amanda didn’t look away. “I want strings, just not with you.” It sounded right. Why did it feel so wrong?

Pierce had no idea where the wave of sadness came from. She was just saying what he had wanted to hear.

“My point exactly.” He loosened his grip on her, sliding his hands down her arms. “What is it you want with me?”

More than anything, she wished she had never met him. “To see you cut up into little bits so that you don’t bother me anymore.” It seemed as if she hadn’t known a moment’s peace since he had barged into her life.

Pierce laughed. “Very bloodthirsty, Mandy.” Though her response appealed to his macabre sense of humor, he didn’t believe her. “You almost had your chance this afternoon,” he pointed out, teasing the sensitive skin on the inside of her elbows with his fingertips. “You didn’t look all that happy about it.”

She hadn’t been. She had been terrified. Terrified that something would happen to him.

Any moment now, she was going to become certifiably crazy.

“Why don’t you shut up and go collect your commendation?”

Amanda opened her car door, but Pierce wasn’t about to let her leave. He swung it shut again.

“Snappy comeback for an anchorwoman with two college degrees.” His mouth curved, mocking her. “I’ve got a better idea. Why don’t I come over to your place and you can fix me some eggs like the last time?”

It was almost six-thirty. “You like to have eggs for dinner?”

“No.” His eyes were smiling into hers. “For breakfast.”

He wanted to stay over. To sleep over. Or not. It was too tempting a trap to fall into. She slowly shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

But Pierce wasn’t in the mood to take no for an answer. Not without a fight. In one fluid, quick motion, he gathered her into his arms. Amanda opened her mouth to protest. And then he kissed her. Kissed her the way he had wanted to all day. The way he had wanted to since he’d left her house two weeks ago.

The sweet, passionate taste of her mouth made him feel restless and soothed at the same time. Above all, it made him feel as if he belonged. He knew it was crazy to feel that way. Maybe he was.

All her fears, all the passions she had worked so hard to lock up in neat little packages broke free and began spilling out their contents. Her purse fell to the ground. Or maybe she threw it to the ground. She wasn’t sure. She wasn’t thinking clearly. Amanda wrapped her arms around his neck, stood on her toes, and pulled him against her. She could feel him responding to her, out here, in the parking lot, in broad daylight. It had to mean something. Didn’t it?

Oh God, each time was worse than the last. And better. Worse because she was losing herself in him and better because the rapture was stronger.

The feeling that her soul belonged with his overwhelmed her.

Damn him, why didn’t he leave her alone? Why didn’t she have enough strength not to weaken every time he touched his mouth to hers? She had no strength to fight this. Only enough strength to rush toward it.

If he didn’t stop, he was going to take her right here, in the backseat of her tiny car, like some teenager in heat. With effort, he broke the contact.

“Change your mind?” His words were just a shade breathless as he rested his head against hers.

As if he had to ask. She couldn’t help the smile that rose. “You’re impossible.”

“I know.” He looked into her eyes. The words were teasing, but there was truth to them. “That’s why you like me.” It was the only L word he allowed himself to acknowledge. The other one didn’t really exist, except in lame poetry and bad movies. “C’mon, I’ll follow you home and then I’ll tell you all about what the royal family is doing these days. I had a two-hour layover in London.”

“Gossip?” she asked, amused. She stood by her car, waiting for him to get into his.

“That’s what the public lives for,” he said.

When Amanda walked through the door, Carla informed her with a satisfied, tired sigh that Christopher was already in bed. After she looked in on him, Amanda returned to find Pierce and Carla talking in the living room.

Carla flashed her a pleased smile. “I’ve decided to stay.”

Amanda hugged her. “That’s wonderful.” She released Carla and looked at her. “Any particular reason?” Whatever it was, she was going to go out of her way to make certain that it remained valid.

Carla smiled shyly as she nodded. “Things have changed a little,” she said. “And you need me.”

There was no arguing with the last point. But Amanda’s curiosity was aroused. What had happened since this afternoon to change Carla’s mind?

“What’s changed?”

Carla looked at Pierce. Her shy smile spread.

Amanda turned toward Pierce, attempting to understand what was going on.

Oh God, had he—?

Amanda’s accusation sprang into her eyes. Of course he had. He would do it with anyone without a male organ, she thought angrily. He made a religion out of making love to women. Still, she wanted him to deny it. Not that she would believe him, but she wanted him to go through the motions. “You didn’t...”

How had she guessed so easily? Then he remembered that he had pointed it out to her. What he had done was only natural, as far as he was concerned. He didn’t normally interfere, but this was for Amanda, and somehow, that made it right.

“Sure, why not?”

“How could you?” Amanda cried, incensed.

It was one thing to talk his way into her bed; it was another thing entirely to do the same thing with Carla. Carla was incredibly naive, innocent, and was under her wing. It was up to her to protect the young woman from men like Pierce. When had he found the opportunity? It made no difference. He had.

Amanda wanted to scratch his eyes out.

He had no idea why she was getting so worked up. “It was easy.”

“Easy?” she echoed incredulously. Then her expression darkened. “I’ll just bet it was.”

Amanda drew herself up to her full height. She was almost a head shorter than he was, but right at this moment, she appeared taller. Carla was watching her with huge, confused eyes. Amanda felt a pang of guilt. She had no idea how he had managed to get Carla alone for more than a few minutes, but somehow he had.

“I want you to get out of here, Alexander.”

One minute she blew hot, the next cold. What was going on? “What’s gotten into you?”

“Now!” she ordered. “I want you out of here now. Before I call the police.”

The woman was crazy. “Amanda, you were out in that sun much too long.” He spoke to her as if he were talking to someone verging on senility. “This is no big deal.”

She thought of Pierce and Carla together and shuddered, then looked at the younger woman with pity. For her part, Carla looked completely bewildered.

“No big deal?” Amanda repeated. “What kind of a bastard are you?”

He struggled not to shout. “A hell of a confused one. What the hell are you carrying on about?”

Was he so amoral that he didn’t understand? No, amoral people were naive, and Pierce had been born street-smart and world-weary. And jaded. “You and Carla.”

She had been out in the sun too long. He stared at Amanda as if she had sprouted another head. “Carla? And me?”

Carla’s eyes looked as if they were about to pop out of her head. “Him and me?” Carla choked the words out.

The surprise, coming from both of them, was much too great and much too spontaneous. Now it was her turn to be confused.

“Weren’t you just talking about taking Carla to—“

The wide, lazy grin that spread over Pierce’s face as he began to comprehend the reason for her sudden agitation stopped Amanda abruptly.

“All right, all right.” Amanda surrendered. “What are you talking about?”

Carla answered in a euphoric rush. “Mr. Alexander gave Paul my telephone number. He just called a few minutes before you came home.” She beamed. “We’re going out to see that new movie I have been wanting to see.” Carla’s wide smile softened as she looked at Amanda, completely mystified. “Mr. Alexander is your man. I wouldn’t go out with him.”

It wasn’t their “going out” that had had her so concerned, but Amanda decided it would be better if she didn’t elaborate. She’d already made a complete fool of herself.

“Mr. Alexander is not ‘my man,’ Carla.” The protest was notably feeble, and Amanda felt like an idiot for leaping to that conclusion.

Pierce placed his hands on Amanda’s shoulders as he looked conspiratorially at Carla.

“Amanda’s still into denial, Carla. I’d just humor her for a while if I were you.” He smiled down into Amanda’s face. “That’s what I’m doing.”

Amanda looked up at him. “What you’re doing is driving me crazy.”

For a moment, Pierce forgot that Carla was standing there. “I was hoping for that, because it’s mutual.”

Humming, Carla withdrew. If nothing else, after watching so many soap operas, Carla knew when an exit was necessary.

Chapter Twenty Eight

Amanda had known, of course. Known as soon as she had seen Pierce walking toward her with Paul at the hostage site that it was just a matter of time before she would wind up here, in her bed with him.

Known it because there wasn’t anything else she wanted as much, emotionally, as to be here with him like this again. It wasn’t logical. If anything, it was probably self-destructive to want it.

Pierce lay next to her, sleeping. And her heart was filled with so many emotions just watching him.

What she was, she thought with just a touch of misery, was in love.

She’d come to realize somewhere during their passionate lovemaking last night that this was what she had been trying to rationalize away so frantically. She was in love with Pierce.

Love, in glowing capital letters.

It didn’t change anything—not for him, not for her. She wouldn’t tell him, so he wouldn’t know. And when he left, as his track record indicated he would, she’d do nothing to stop him. They would continue on separately, just as they had before.

She was a big girl, she thought, and could readily accept all the consequences of her actions. That was what being an adult meant. If being here with him like this would lead her to an unhappy ending, so be it. Better a corner of happiness with no strings than no happiness at all.

Instinctively, Amanda knew that the biggest mistake she could make would be to tell Pierce how she felt. Because he’d be gone so fast once he knew, her head would be rotating for days. He might be Superman when it came to hostage situations, but Superman was afraid of commitment. It was his personal form of Kryptonite.

Pierce stirred next to her, then slowly opened his eyes and looked at Amanda. The smile came without conscious thought. He could get used to this, he realized. Easily get used to waking up to find her next to him.

He knew it was a mistake to feel that way. Nothing was forever except death.

But still, in the early morning haze, when all of his barriers were not firmly sunk into place yet, he allowed himself to dream a little and pretend that what couldn’t be, could.

When he was fully awake, he knew the regrets would come. Being here with her was a little like trying to give up smoking and failing. He’d enjoy the cigarette, though the guilt would be there, haunting him, and he’d already be planning how he would quit successfully—the next time. It was the same with wanting her. He knew he’d have to walk away eventually, but for now all he wanted to do was enjoy his weakness.

Pierce tugged at the sheet covering her breasts. He wanted to see her. All of her. Last night had been even more incredible than the first time. He’d never known a woman could be so agile, so athletic. She had literally taken his breath away.

When she tried to pull the sheet back into place, he covered her hand, stopping her. “Ready for another helping?”

She’d heard of stamina, but this was bordering on superhuman. Maybe he was Superman. The thought almost made her giggle. That in itself was out of character for her; Amanda had never giggled in her life.

Amanda glanced toward the window. Pinks and light shades of violet were fading in the sky. “It’s morning,” she protested.

“So?” He grinned. “You have your anatomy lessons mixed up.” Pierce moved the sheet slightly as he pretended to glance down at himself. “It only shrivels when water’s thrown on it, not when it sees light.” He pulled the sheet completely aside. “And certainly not when it sees you.”

Shifting, he pulled her against him, his arms bracketing her in place. Amanda stayed willingly. She feathered a finger along his hair.

“You’re incredible,” she told him.

“I know.” He appeased himself, for now, by kissing the hollow of her throat. “Abstinence does it.”

Even with all her senses beginning to melt, she could laugh at Pierce’s remark. He certainly wasn’t a candidate for Monk of the Month. “Yeah, I’ll just bet.”

Pierce continued to kiss her. “Maybe I shouldn’t admit it.” Telling her was even more intimate than making love with her was. The realization struck him as odd; he’d always assumed that lovemaking was the ultimate intimate act. But he had already gone too far to backtrack. “But I haven’t touched another woman since the last time we made love.”

God knows he had tried to. He’d even gone as far as to bring a woman he’d picked up in a bar back to his room. But all he could think of was Amanda. He had wound up giving the woman cab fare and sending her home without so much as kissing her. He’d spent the night lying in his bed, cursing Amanda.

And wanting her.

Amanda braced her hands on his shoulders as she felt a climax shimmering just out of reach. God, how could he do this so quickly to her?

“By my recollection, that was three hours ago.”

He laughed as he stopped for a moment and looked into her eyes. They were just eyes, he thought. He really didn’t see his soul captured there. It was only an illusion.