Flaming Hearts (Beyond Reality Book 2) (8 page)

Becky raised her head and managed to meet his eyes. God, she was so courageous and beautiful to him. “It’s not what you’re wearing, or what you look like on the outside, although you
are
beautiful on the outside…it’s who you are inside. You’d never tell anyone they were stupid, or not be a friend to someone based on the way they look. You appreciate animals and would do anything to help them. You’d rather wear sweats and be comfortable than put on heels and a fancy dress and hobnob with the most important people in the world.
That
is what I find beautiful about you. In fact…” he continued earnestly, “I much prefer you in your jeans and T-shirt than that dress and your hair done up and your face covered in gunk.”

Becky giggled. He sure knew how to make her feel better. She saw he wasn’t smiling back at her. He was serious as he could be. God, what she’d give to not be here, to be able to snuggle down into his arms and rest her head on his chest. To feel safe.

Dean tried to relax. God, he wanted to haul her over his lap and hold her close to his chest. He wanted to kiss the hell out of her so everyone around would know she was his. He wanted to mark her as his. He could just imagine how a hickey would look on her neck. Juvenile, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t stand it when the men on the show were ogling her before the ceremony. He was surprised at her looks when she got back from the spa, but he was being honest with her when he’d told her he preferred her other look. Done up the way she was now she just looked fake. She looked stiff and uncomfortable. He much preferred her in her natural state.

“Did Jonathan give you the phone?” he asked Becky, scooting his chair back a bit and leaning back. If he didn’t change the subject and put some space between them she’d end up in his lap no matter who was watching. He didn’t want to give Eddie any reason to suspect he was anything other than an investor.

Becky nodded. “I’m not sure exactly why you gave it to me, though…especially if you’re going to be around the set.”

“I was hoping we could talk when you went up to your room at night. God, Becky,” his voice got huskier, “I’d love to imagine you lying in your bed, wearing some sexy silky thing talking to me…” He cleared his throat and continued, “I also wanted you to know you had an ally, and a way to get in touch with the outside world if you needed it.”

“Thank you,” Becky said. “I’d enjoy talking to you and getting to know you as well.” He might want to think about her lying in her bed, and she could almost picture it in her mind. Both of them lying on their backs lazily, talking about their day…crap, she had to concentrate. She couldn’t go there right now, as much as she wanted to think about him naked in bed.

She tried to be funny. “First of all, I don’t sleep in anything silky and sexy. Typically I sleep in boy shorts and a tank top.”

Dean gulped. “Jesus, hon. You’re going to give me a heart attack. Before I could only imagine what you’d look like in bed, but you’ve just given me a perfect picture that I won’t be able to get out of my head.”

Becky smiled shyly at him, enjoying knowing he’d be thinking about her in bed. Changing the subject, she said, “I don’t think they’d kick me off the show if I got caught with the phone, but you never know, so we’d have to be careful.” She watched as he nodded in agreement and then continued. “I’m not sure why I’d need to get in touch with the outside world as you called it, but thank you just the same. I appreciate it more than you know that someone is trying to look out for me.”

“You’re killing me, sweetheart,” Dean said, compassion shining in his eyes. “I’ll always look out for you.”

The two smiled at each other, communicating without words. Dean knew his time was up for the night. He didn’t want it to end, but he saw Eddie walking toward them.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Becky,” he said softly. “I’ll let you sleep tonight, but I’ll call tomorrow night. You can tell me how your day went and all the things you’d tell a friend about this experience that you can’t tell anyone else.”

Becky could only nod and watch as he shook Eddie’s hand and expressed delight in talking to her.

“When you come by next I’ll let you spend some time with Marissa,” Eddie told him excitedly. Becky frowned. It couldn’t be helped, but she hoped Dean was telling the truth about all the things he’d said to her today. Becky knew Marissa would really lay on the charm just to prove she was more attractive to Dean than she was.

The next night, Becky went up to bed exhausted. Marissa was going out of her way to be snide and rude and to try to make her look bad. Becky supposed it was a direct result of the way she’d stuck up for herself at the spa yesterday. It was hard to keep up a pretense of being happy and enjoying herself when all she had to deal with every day was fake people who were doing their best to make her miserable.

After her shower, Becky lay down on her bed and just stared at the ceiling. Seriously, why had she thought this would be a good idea? She’d probably lose whatever friends she did have when the show finally aired. She knew it wasn’t going to show her in a good light and she was totally depressed. How could it? She couldn’t hide from the cameras, they were everywhere. And while she remembered Kina had said all the camera people liked her, they still had to film her, it was their job.

She also remembered what Kina had said about that Australian show, how Sam was edited out after the first episode when in reality she didn’t leave until at least half way through the show. If she was lucky, Eddie would do that to her as well. She could be edited out first thing and no one would have to see her be humiliated day in and day out. Becky sighed. She didn’t think it would be possible, however, since the entire premise of the show was all the men “fighting over” two women bachelorettes.

Then today there was Dean. Specifically, watching Marissa suck up to him and put her hands all over him. Dean had come back to the show on Eddie’s request and he’d introduced them, just as he had with Becky yesterday. Marissa had taken every chance she could to touch him. She patted his arm, she stood very close to him, and at one point she leaned in while laughing and put her hand on his chest. Becky wanted to march over to them and tear Marissa’s hair out. It frankly surprised her as she generally wasn’t a jealous woman, but there was just something about Dean that made her want to claim him as her own in front of the world. She sighed. She wasn’t sure she was going to make it the last few weeks.

She could tell Dean was trying to put distance between him and Marissa as they spoke, but it just wasn’t working. He looked at her a few times, but when Marissa realized what he was doing, she manipulated them so his back was to her and he couldn’t see her anymore. Becky remembered Marissa’s smirk at her when she did it too. What a bitch.

Becky lay there on her bed, enjoying the quiet. All she could hear was the tick-tock of the wall clock in her room. Suddenly she felt her pillow vibrating…what the heck? Then she remembered she’d put the phone under her pillow to hide it, and so it was close at hand…just in case, and it was ringing. She reached under her head and pulled it out and answered hesitantly…just in case it wasn’t Dean.

“Hi, Becky,” Dean said in a low smooth voice. “How are you?”

Becky was thrilled to hear from him. He called! Just like he said he would. She felt like she was back in the seventh grade and was giddy to be hearing from a boy. Becky was instantly awake. She scooted up the bed and rested her back against the headboard.

“Tired,” Becky told him honestly. “It’s getting harder and harder to stay up each night and pretend to like what I’m doing.”

“I could tell,” Dean told her. “I’m worried about you. You didn’t eat much tonight.”

Becky flushed, even though she knew he couldn’t see her.

“Believe me, Dean, I eat enough…too much probably.” She gave a short laugh.

“Please don’t,” Dean told her. “As I’ve already told you, you’re beautiful and perfect. I like you exactly the way you are. Don’t let those people make you feel like you can’t eat a normal meal.
They
are the ones who aren’t normal!” he said urgently.

Becky sighed. She knew he was right. She
knew
it. “I know, but…” Her voice trailed off. “It’s just hard.” That was a lame explanation, and sort of like calling the ocean “big.” She didn’t really know how to explain it, but she tried. “I feel like I’m in this bubble. I’m floating around, watching what’s going on around me. I can see the dangerous sharp things around that will pop my bubble and since I’m not steering, all I can do is hope I don’t run into them. I’m always aware of the cameras and I can’t help but think of when this show finally airs what it’s going to make me look like. I know that sounds vain and selfish, but I’m trying to watch everything I say and everything I do and everywhere I look, but I know I’m still making a fool out of myself.” Becky’s voice trailed off once more.

Dean was furious, not at Becky, but at Eddie and the director. They were shredding this woman’s self-esteem in front of his eyes, and he couldn’t say or do anything to stop it. He felt as helpless as she just described being inside a floating bubble.

“Listen, Becky,” he told her with urgency lacing his tone. “Please. This is what
I
saw today watching you…will you listen to me?”

Becky nodded, then realizing he couldn’t see her, mumbled, “Uh-huh.”

Dean took a deep breath. He knew this moment was very important and what he said to her now would hopefully lighten her load.

“During lunch today, when Marissa was complaining about the temperature of the soup, you touched the server’s hand and thanked her for her efforts. You probably didn’t know this, but she smiled all the way back to the kitchen simply because you took the time to compliment her. Out by the pool when everyone else was swimming and playing, you were sitting in the lounge chair. When everyone went in, you gathered up all of the used towels and put them on a chair so someone else didn’t have to do it. You smiled at one of the camera operators for no special reason as you went into the house. I even saw you tell one of the assistant producers happy birthday, when no one else on the show seemed to care. Hell, I have no idea how you even knew it
was
his birthday! Even when the clueless men on the show are ignoring you and simpering all over Marissa, when they aren’t able to get near her, you still talk to them and try to get to know them. You answer all their questions about Marissa and try to give them hope she just might choose them. I even saw you open a damn window today because a fly was buzzing on the pane and couldn’t get outside. You’re a good person, Becky. To the core. No matter what these people throw at you, no matter what they say, you remember this...I see you. I see the real you. Not only do I see you, I like what I see. And I know America will see it too.”

His voice tapered off. He waited. He heard Becky sniff once. Oh God, he’d made her cry. He hadn’t meant to make her cry. “Sweetheart?” he asked softly. “I didn’t say all that to make you cry.” When she didn’t immediately say anything, he said with frustration, “Damn, I should’ve kept my mouth shut. I want to be there to hold you, Becky, and it’s pissing me off I can’t be. Are you okay?”

“I know, I’m okay, Dean. Really. I just…” She paused and sniffed again. “I’ve just had a bad day and that was possibly the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me in my entire life.”

Dean laughed and tried to lighten the mood. He wanted her to stop crying, he couldn’t stand it. “If that was the nicest, then I’d better get to work trying to beat it!”

Becky laughed, as she was supposed to. “Tell me more about yourself, Dean,” Becky asked. “I don’t know that much about you, only that we have this crazy chemistry.” She laughed some more.

Dean smiled. She didn’t know the half of it. He was so glad she wasn’t crying anymore, he’d tell her anything she wanted to know. He proceeded to tell her about his family and about his job, how he was in the security field. He talked about what he liked and what he disliked and as much other information as he could. He answered all of her questions.

Becky also told Dean about herself in return. About how she didn’t like to cook, how she liked her job, but didn’t love it. She confessed while she had a lot of people that she knew, she didn’t have a lot of close friends. She admitted she loved Arizona. It was a big and open land. And so far, away from the set at least, people had been very friendly.

Becky realized they’d been talking for over two hours. Ugh, she knew it’d be hard to get up tomorrow, well, today. It was well past midnight. Talking with Dean was soothing and she’d practically forgotten about the stupid show she was on and the tension she was feeling a few short hours ago.

“Dean, it’s late, and while I’ve loved talking to you, I have to get going.”

“I know, sweetheart,” Dean told her regretfully, “I need to go as well.”

Becky tried to ignore how much she loved hearing him call her sweetheart in his low rumbly voice. She felt it deep in her heart and it felt so good. Becky hesitated and then said quietly, “I have a question for you, though…” She didn’t know how he’d take it. Then she mentally shrugged and just asked, “I need some ideas for my dates.”

She waited and hearing nothing but silence on the other end of the line said, “I didn’t mean that like it sounded.” She laughed nervously. “I mean I need help on what to do here on the show. Marissa and I take turns choosing the dates and it’s my turn coming up and I don’t know what we should do. I’m not from around here…and…” Her voice trailed off.

Dean laughed. “I understand, hon. For a second there I thought you wanted my help in a different area about your ‘dates’.” They both laughed.

“I have an idea and I think after what you told me when we were at Devil’s Canyon you’ll think it’s a good one. As I told you before, my family operates a refuge center for animals, including coyotes.”

He heard Becky’s indrawn breath and continued, “It’s more a rescue center for the coyotes that have gotten too close to people’s homes and are in danger of being killed as a result. I thought maybe you might like to go there and see not only the coyotes, but meet some of my family as well,” Dean finished. He couldn’t believe how nervous he was. He’d never cared enough about a woman to bring her home to meet his entire family and friends. He knew they’d talked about it when they were on the trail at Devil’s Canyon, but that was “someday.” Someday was now here. Would Becky want to do that with him? In her typical style, she didn’t keep him waiting for her answer.

“Are you kidding?” Becky exclaimed. “I’d
love
that! Oh, Dean, I can’t wait to see the animals.” Her voice trailed off when she thought about the coyote she saw while hiking. “Does that mean you’ll have to hunt and find the coyote I saw at the Canyon for your refuge?” she asked, worriedly thinking about how odd the animal’s behavior had been.

“I doubt it,” Dean answering honestly. “As long as there aren’t any reports of attacks on people or anyone’s pets, that coyote is probably safe.”

Dean made sure Becky knew what the refuge was called so she could pass the information along to Eddie in the morning.

While he would have gladly talked to her all night, he could hear she was fading fast.

“I’m going to let you go, sweetheart,” he told her softly. “I’ve loved talking to you and getting to know you better. One of these nights we’ll have to do a different kind of talking while we’re both in bed.” He paused. When he heard her indrawn breath he continued, “I’m looking forward to my family meeting you. They’ll love you. Sleep well, love.”

“Good night.” He heard Becky say breathlessly.

“Good night,” he answered back and clicked off the phone.

Becky was more than half asleep. She clicked off her phone and leaned down to grab the phone charger. She plugged it in and shoved it under her bed so it was out of sight. She only dared charge the thing at night when there was no chance of anyone seeing it. She snuggled down into the covers. She felt good. She’d gone to bed feeling depressed, but talking with Dean raised her spirits and she was looking forward to seeing his family’s sanctuary, even though she had to “officially” spend the day with a man other than Dean. The last thing she thought of as she drifted off to sleep was his low voice calling her “love” as he’d ended their call.