Flamethroat (32 page)

‘
I guess,
’
said Jack, though he still sounded unconvinced.

‘
You don
’
t have to come,
’
I told him.
‘
You can stay here.
’

‘
Don
’
t be silly, of course I
’
ll come.
’

‘
Then why so hesitant?
’
I asked as I sat down on the bed next to him.

Jack took a moment to gather his thoughts.
‘
I don
’
t know Ava. I guess I
’
m not used to the whole idea of freeing Humans. You know how I was brought up. This old prejudice is wrong, I know, but it
’
s hard to shake when it
’
s all you
’
ve ever known.

‘
I grew up in Frost Arch. I saw enslaved Humans every day of my life without batting an eyelid
–
without thinking twice about it. I know you are right
–
about everything. Don
’
t get me wrong, I fully support this cause.

‘
I remember all those times I saw Humans beings mistreated, starved, even tortured, but I never did anything about it - because it was seen as normal behaviour. But now, I see it from your point of view and I am disgusted … in myself. One thing I have always prided myself on was my compassion, but now I see how much I was lacking.
’

I took Jack
’
s hand and squeezed it comfortingly,
‘
It
’
s not your fault. You are doing what is right now, that is all that matters.
’

Jack nodded, but the look in his eyes told me that he was not convinced. I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my chin on his shoulder, hugging him tightly.

‘
Is this why you are so determined to help me?
’
I said.
‘
Because of this guilt you are carrying around with you?
’

‘
Partly,
’
Jack admitted, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me close.

The hug lasted longer than usual. I was hyperaware of Jack
’
s breath on my neck and his determination to stretch out the life of the embrace. Over Jack
’
s shoulder I saw Hawthorne watching us beadily. At long last we parted, but the electricity in the air was tangible.

‘
What are you thinking?
’
he asked.

‘
I
’
m tired,
’
I fibbed.

‘
Liar.
’

An expectant silence engulfed us. The hairs on my arm stood on end as Jack watched me. I couldn
’
t bring myself to make eye contact with him.

‘
I think we should get some rest before the meeting,
’
I said, glad that this room had two single beds.

‘
I know why you don
’
t want to be with me,
’
said Jack.
‘
It
’
s because of Helena, isn
’
t it?
’

My silence answered his question.

‘
You think I will be a distraction.
’
It wasn
’
t a question. He said it as though it was fact.
‘
But tell me this, if we were under different circumstances-
’

‘
We
’
re not,
’
I interrupted.

‘
If
we were under different circumstances,
’
he pressed.
‘
Would you?
’

‘
Would I what?
’

‘
Would you be with me?
’
he asked.

My breath caught in my chest.
The honest answer was yes, but I would never admit it.
Jack was good for me and he knew it, but we were in a situation where I could not give him the attention he deserved.

‘
Where is this coming from all of a sudden?
’
I tried to change the subject.
‘
A few days ago we were like brother and sister, but now … I don
’
t know what
’
s gotten into you.
’

Jack seemed annoyed.
‘
I dropped everything to be with you. I left Frost Arch, the place I have lived my entire life, to follow you.
’

‘
I didn
’
t ask you to,
’
I muttered.

‘
You didn
’
t need to,
’
he shot.

I fretted that this romantic interest between Jack and I might ruin the friendship that we had developed.

‘
What if things don
’
t work out?
’
I asked.
‘
How could we go back to the way things were?
’

‘
You can
’
t avoid
everything
in life on the pretext that it might not work out.
’
He cupped my face in his large hands, which felt exceedingly smooth.

I tried to look away, but his hand held my face inches from his.

‘
I want to kiss you,
’
he said softly.

‘
No, Jack.
’
I tore my eyes away from him.

‘
I wasn
’
t asking.
’

Looking into Jack
’
s eyes I saw that his expression was serious. For a moment, I was worried that he was angry, his gaze was intense and burned right through me. A trickle of longing ran down my spine, but I ignored it.
My entire body was tingling with anticipation, but he wasn
’
t to know that. My eyes drank in every detail of his face.

‘
Please
, Jack.
’
I wasn
’
t quite sure whether I was begging him to leave me be or to kiss me. He assumed the latter.

Jack
’
s mouth came crashing down onto mine. Butterflies took flight in my stomach and an overwhelming sense of relief washed over me.
Something inside me changed, never to be reversed. This feeling could be dwelled upon later because for now I was glad to feel his breath in unison with mine.

At first I fretted that I was not kissing him properly. Was I a bad kisser? Were my lips too moist? Where was I supposed to put my hands?

When Jack began to pull away, a small whine escaped my mouth. I had never heard myself make that noise before, but it seemed to make sense to Jack for he responded with such enthusiasm that I was rendered momentarily breathless by the force of the next wave of kisses.

It was at that moment, I stopped worrying. Shivers rocketed through my body when
I felt Jack
’
s tongue against my lips; I opened my mouth and our tongues met.
Jack
’
s hand
travelled
to my thigh. Jolts of electricity coursed through me. I didn
’
t want to stop him.

It all happened very quickly. It was uncontrollable. In my moment of excitement the bed sheets caught fire and Jack
’
s shirt ignited.

Jack cursed and we both jumped up from the mattress.

‘
I
’
m sorry!
’
I cried.

After patting away the
smouldering
bits of his shirt, Jack began to pat down the smoking bed.

‘
I didn
’
t, I mean … I didn
’
t know I was going to-
’
I spluttered.

‘
It
’
s fine,
’
said Jack, his hands on his hips. His face was very red and sweat drenched his brow.
‘
It
’
s like kissing the sun.
’

‘
Are you all right?
’
I asked.

‘
I
’
m okay,
’
he reassured.

‘
Can
’
t we just … can
’
t we just lie down together? Try and get some rest?
’
I asked.

Jack nodded.
‘
I think that is safest.
’

Once the lamps had been extinguished, the only light came from the fireplace. Jack took me to the bed and together we lay there, entwined in each other
’
s arms, simply embracing. It didn
’
t take long for us to fall asleep.

I was woken by the sound of someone knocking on the
door of our room. Groggily, I sat up and disentangled myself from Jack, who was still snoring loudly. It proved to be difficult because his arms were wrapped so tightly around me. It did not feel as though I had been asleep for very long, however the embers in the fireplace indicated that a few hours had passed.

And then I remembered. The meeting! The clock on the mantelpiece indicated that it was half past midnight. I was half an hour late! Cursing, I jumped up from the bed and started looking around for my shoes.

‘Jack!’ I hissed. ‘Wake up!’

When Jack did not stir, I shook him violently. He woke with a start and looked around distractedly, until he remembered where he was.

‘Whassamatta?’ he mumbled, sitting up.

‘We’re late,’ I fretted.

Someone knocked on the door again.

‘Coming!’ I called.

I flung the door open and found my father on the landing. He did not look impressed.

‘What are you doing?’ he said annoyed. ‘We’ve been waiting for you downstairs. It’s dangerous to loiter, you know.’

‘I know, I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘We overslept.’

My father looked over my shoulder, at Jack who was fumbling around with his socks.

‘Did you – did you share a bed?’ my father said sharply.

‘No,’ I lied. He did not look convinced.

‘Go downstairs, Avalon. Your mother is waiting.’

‘All-all right,’ I stammered.

Hawthorne made to follow. ‘Can Hawthorne come?’ I asked.

‘No. He is too noticeable,’ my father said.

Crestfallen, I said ‘Hawthorne. Stay.’

I stepped past my father and began down the hall, only to notice that he did not follow.

‘Aren’t you coming?’ I asked.

‘In a minute,’ he replied. He was still watching Jack fumble with his boots. ‘You go downstairs. Now.’

I paused, but decided against arguing. Instead, I left Jack and my father on the landing. My mother stood nervously by the door dressed in a long, dark cloak. I knew she did not feel the cold, so the only explanation for this cloak, would be to provide some kind of concealment.

‘Sorry,’ I mumbled, giving my mother a small hug.

‘Where is your father?’ she enquired, looking up the stairs, expecting to see his boots descending.

‘Oh, he’s talking to Jack.’ I shifted uncomfortably.

‘Oh.’

The following silence was rather awkward. I could hear the grandfather clock in the lobby ticking loudly.

‘So are you two together?’

‘Mum,’ I cringed. ‘Please.’

‘What? I’m just curious. I haven’t seen you in months.’

Guilt panged my chest. ‘No, it’s not like that,’ I fibbed.

‘What is it like then?’

I took a deep breath. I had never been one to share my thoughts and feelings with my family. I liked being private and working through things on my own. However, this was my mother. She could guess these things. I remembered, even as a child, she had always been able to tell when I was lying.