Five Days Grace (20 page)

"So, you'd really rather worry about that than be with me?"

"No, but I sure as hell don't want you to regret this, either—"

"Surely you don't think I'm going to get upset if this doesn't work the way you want the first time we try?"

The first time?

He loved the sound of that.

"No. You wouldn't do that. But I know you're still confused and hurt by what your husband did to you, and that makes me even more determined that you don't regret anything you and I do together. Which reminds me, Grace. You still call him your husband." Helluva thing to think about when he was lying here with his hand on her breast after sleeping beside her all night. "Please tell me you're not still married."

"He is most definitely not my husband anymore."

"Good." That was a relief, a huge one. "Go back to sleep. It's still really early. I'll build up the fire before I take the dog out."

"You really like to get up this early?" she asked sleepily.

"I don't need a lot of sleep, and my muscles tend to stiffen up overnight. I need to walk it out in the morning. Plus, there's a certain spot on the road where I can almost always get cell service. So I make calls now, too."

"Mmm. Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just check in with my doctor, my CO, sometimes my brother."

Reluctantly, he pulled his hand from beneath her top, smoothed back her hair and kissed her cheek. He got out of bed and tucked the blankets around her, wanting to make sure she didn't get cold, determined to get this right. She was going to be absolutely sure of what she wanted before they did anything. Because if she wasn't, if she regretted it later, he might never see her again, his chance with her ruined, and there was no way Aidan was going to let that happen.

The tough thing would be figuring out when she was sure. When any decision she made about him wasn't ruled by hurt and anger toward her ex-husband more than anything else.

He didn't want to be the rebound guy. The revenge guy.

He wanted to be
the guy
. The only one.

Which was likely some ridiculous pipedream, considering his life at the moment. But that's what he wanted, and Aidan Shaw was a man who hadn't wanted anything at all in months. So he was going to do everything he possibly could to make her his.

Quickly, he got ready, and then he and the dog were out the door. It was a clear, brisk morning, peaceful as could be. He couldn't deny it, this place had been good for him. He'd needed to think, to breathe, to start to heal. He got to the right spot on the road and called his brother, who groaned as he answered.

"Still not sleeping?"

"Actually, I've slept really well the last two nights," Aidan said. "And it's after six. I know your alarm has already gone off at least once. Get your ass out of bed."

"Yeah, yeah." Tommy groaned. "What's going on with you? You sound almost... happy."

"I am," Aidan admitted. "I met someone."

"No way!"

"I did."

"Scrawny, pale, half-crippled, in the middle of friggin' nowhere, and you met someone?"

"Yeah, I did." Aidan laughed, it felt so good.

"You have always been the luckiest son of a bitch alive when it comes to women. You know that, don't you?"

"I think I've surpassed any kind of luck I ever had with this one. She's... God, she's amazing. I can't believe she just walked into my life, especially now. This is a woman you keep, you know?"

"Shit, you got it bad for her already."

"I do, Tommy."

"Does she know... everything?"

"Some of it. That I'm in the military, that I got hurt, that I'm a mess, but not how bad. Not yet."

"Well, it's not the kind of thing you spill on a first date. I mean, how long have you known her?"

"Forty-three hours, give or take," he admitted.

Tommy laughed. "That long, huh?"

"I mean, this woman... Guys get stupid, just looking at her, and the way she looks isn't even the best thing about her. Far from it. Although, a man could be very happy just looking at her."

"Makes me think of the way guys reacted to Zach's little sister years ago. Shit, the way I reacted when I saw her. Did I ever tell you about that?"

Aww, hell
. Aidan just hadn't been thinking. That was the only explanation he had for saying what he had to his brother, who'd obviously met Grace at some point.

"I literally could not speak, and I wasn't some teenager," his brother continued. "I was, like, twenty-four, in law school, and I'd been warned. Zach and I had a bet—whether I'd be able to put a coherent sentence together in her presence within five minutes of meeting her, and I literally could not speak."

"I understand, believe me. She asked me not to be like everybody else and get stupid over her looks, but it's not easy." Aidan had to say it, because he was so damned happy at the moment, with a woman so beautiful she'd rendered his brother speechless.

Tommy was going to have a fit when he found out.

It was quiet for a long time, and then finally, Tommy said, "Please tell me we're not talking about Zach's little sister."

Aidan thought about it. There were things he didn't tell his brother, but he didn't lie to him. Still, he doubted Grace wanted anyone to know she was here, and that was her right, to tell only who she wanted, when she wanted, if she wanted. And everything Aidan had said about him and her possibly having a relationship was pure wishful thinking on his part. Painful as it was to admit he knew the idea had so little basis in reality.

So Aidan either told his brother the truth, then asked his brother to keep their secret, or Aidan lied. It was his mistake, his responsibility, so he did it. He lied.

"No. Why?" He made himself laugh it off. "The guy's a little overprotective?"

"He is, but the thing is, she just lost her husband a few months ago."

"Lost?"
What the hell?
"As in—"

"Died. I meant to tell you. It just slipped my mind. Didn't want you to say the wrong thing, in case you ran into her down there."

Aidan froze, feeling like he had that time four or five years ago when his parachute hadn't opened all the way, and he'd fought the whole time he was in the air, but still managed to get it functioning at only about sixty percent by the time he hit the ground. Hard. Which is what he suspected it must have felt like to Grace to have the man die, and only then find out he'd been unfaithful to her.

He assumed that was how it happened. She'd said someone from the college had cut the lock off his locker, and that's where she'd found the condoms. That seemed like something someone would do for a man's wife after the man died.

And wasn't that just the nastiest kick in the teeth, coming on top of the guy dying? She would never be able to ask him anything, would be left all alone to work out the myriad of emotions she must have felt upon learning he'd been unfaithful.

"So, what happened to the guy?" Aidan asked, because he had to say something.

"Nasty car accident. Coming back from... Well, let's just say some place he shouldn't have been, given the fact that the guy was married. Although, that is definitely something not to mention to anyone, especially not the sister."

Fuck.
Did that mean what he thought it meant? That they knew? Grace's family fucking knew? "The dead guy was cheating on Zach's sister, and they didn't even tell her?"

"The guy was dead, and I don't think they really had anything concrete in terms of proof. Just a lot of suspicions," Tommy said. "You gonna tell the sister you love that not only has she lost her husband, but, by the way, he was cheating on her, too?"

"Shit." Just shit, all around.

"Yeah. Zach was pretty torn up about it. Do you tell her and hurt her even more, or keep it a secret and risk someone else spilling that little secret to her? And then, if she finds out you already knew, you've made things even worse."

"What a fucking mess."

"Yeah. I remember when I first met her... Grace is her name. You take one look at her, and you think, this woman is perfect. She looks like an angel. Nice as one, too, makes you think she's going to have an absolutely perfect life." Tommy swore softly. "Didn't work out that way for her. So, you know, stay away from the sister and any mention of husbands or car accidents or cheaters. Sorry I even brought her up. You really did sound happy this morning, before I brought up this crappy story."

"Yeah—"

"So, this woman of yours, what's she like?"

"Amazing," Aidan said, shaking his head, believing it even more now. "She's absolutely amazing."

"Well, I hope it works out, you know?"

"Yeah. I'm probably just dreaming. I know that, but still..." He was going to try.

"It's really good to hear you sound happy. Sometimes I worried that we never would again."

"I know. Sorry."

A moment later, his brother was gone. Aidan walked a few paces off the road to a tree stump and sat down, his head spinning. The dog came up to him and nudged Aidan's hands with a cold nose, as if he actually gave a damn about Aidan.

"Not me. Her. We have to really take care of her. You got that?" And if the dog could keep making her laugh, Aidan would be the silly dog's biggest fan.

Fuck.

Her ex-husband wasn't her ex-husband. He was her dead husband. Her dead, cheating husband.

He tried to imagine what that must have been like for her. Showing the grief, but not the anger? Why would she do that? Obviously, she must have a reason.

Of course, she hadn't even told him her husband had died, and a part of Aidan was pissed because he wanted to be the one she told everything. But he knew he had no right to be angry, because he certainly hadn't told her everything, either. Not yet. And already he'd told her enough to make a lot of women turn around and run. So he got why she hadn't told him everything, either. He just didn't like it.

Of course, this wasn't about him.

He was going to help her. That was going to be his overriding goal. No, his only goal. Help Grace any way he could. The thing was, how did he do that? She'd told him the guy had cheated, but not that he'd died. And now, he knew something even she didn't. That her family knew her husband was cheating on her, but they hadn't told her.

Fuck.

That was a no-win situation if he'd ever heard one.

He either told her or he became just another guy who'd lied to her, and she sure as hell didn't need another one of those.

It was the same situation her family had faced, he realized. Hurt her or lie to her? And he'd been furious at them for lying, but now, here he was thinking about doing the same thing himself. Because even more than lying, he absolutely hated the idea of hurting her.

Chapter 12

Grace woke to a warm weight pressed against her back. Happy, she rolled over, thinking Aidan hadn't left or he'd already returned. But instead, she found herself face to face with a giant dog.

Tink lifted his head and looked at her, as if to say,
What? I'm trying to sleep here.

"Aidan is not going to like this," she warned him.

Tink obviously didn't care. He put his head back down and seemed to drift right back to sleep.

"No, up. We have to get up." She did and started tugging on the covers, which the dog was lying on top of. He whined and fussed but finally got off the bed, looking thoroughly put out with her. "You'll live. We'll get you a nice, cushy doggie bed to sleep on, I promise. And when it's just you and me, I'll think about letting you sleep in bed with me."

Grace showered and dressed, then made coffee and sat on the screened porch, wrapped up in a quilt again. It was such a peaceful way to start the day. She wondered why Aidan hadn't taken Tink with him this morning. The dog had an abundance of energy. He wanted to go out anytime anyone was willing to take him.

Finally, Tink barked once and trotted over to the screen door. A second later, Aidan walked in. He reached down and scratched the dog's head, then walked over to Grace, leaned down and kissed her quickly, softly on her lips. "Good morning, Sunshine."