Fitzwilliam Darcy, Rock Star (28 page)

Elizabeth heard him leave; the sound of the door slamming broke her out of the trance. “Charlotte! What have you done?” she asked, horrified, as she rushed to her friend’s side. She heard the door of the suite open and close again, but she ignored it. “Oh my God! He didn’t force you, did he?”

“Nothing happened, Lizzy!” Charlotte snarled.

“Char, why?” Elizabeth’s voice was trembling. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

“
Nothing happened!
Now, let it go, Lizzy.” She moved to the window, lit a cigarette, and took a long drag.

Elizabeth looked at her in confusion, not noticing the two men observing from the doorway. “Charlotte, I find you with that, that…
thing
all over you and you tell me nothing happened?” Elizabeth was aghast. “How can you say that?”

“Because it’s the truth, Lizzy,” she retorted. “Nothing happened, and even if it did what business is it of yours?”

“I’m your friend, that’s what makes it my business. Why didn’t you tell me? I just can’t understand why—”

“I know you can’t understand! I’m not asking you to understand. I’m asking you to let it go!” Charlotte cut her off and then sighed and turned away. “I’m not like you, Lizzy,” she said in a calmer voice. “I’m not idealistic, and I’m not romantic like Jane. I never was.” She paused. “You want to know what happened? Fine. I’ll tell you! Bill wanted me, and I didn’t say no. That’s all,” she spat. “I
know
you would never do something like that, but I’m not you, and don’t you dare look down on me for it!”

Elizabeth was stunned. She couldn’t understand why Charlotte would have ever done such a thing.

“Lizzy,” Elizabeth whirled around, surprised to find Richard standing in the room, his face pale and his eyes grave. “Could you excuse us please?”

Charlotte turned a sullen face to him then moved back to the window as Elizabeth left the room.

***

Richard closed the door slowly and turned back to Charlotte. Even with her back turned to him, he knew what she was feeling. He knew she was expecting him to blast her, so she could blast him back and avoid really talking about what happened. He could see it in the lines of her shoulders and the tension in her arms.

Instead he moved silently to her side and lightly put his hand on her shoulder. Charlotte flinched at the gentle touch but otherwise remained where she was. Richard felt it as she took a deep breath, and he felt the tension slowly draining out of her. When he thought she was ready, he turned her with his hands and took her into his arms, letting her rest her head against his chest.

“You are not supposed to be doing this,” she said finally, her voice weak. “You are supposed to be disgusted and yelling at me.”

“I know,” he said, his voice quiet. “But you’re talking to a recovering alcoholic. I’m afraid righteous anger looks pretty stupid on me.”

Charlotte chuckled once and let him lead her to the bed. They sat there, side by side, as Richard held her hand, unwilling to let her go. “Want to tell me what happened?” he asked.

Charlotte looked at him. His question was an offer for her to explain. He was not judging her in any way. She sighed tiredly. “Collins has been hitting on me for the last few weeks,” she admitted dully.

“Since Will threw him off the tour for hitting on Lizzy?”

Charlotte looked at him, her eyes wide. “What?”

Richard’s eyes grew sadder. “I thought you knew,” he explained. “Will threw Collins off the tour because he was hitting on Lizzy. That’s why he left so suddenly and never came back except for meetings.”

“Oh,” Charlotte said, her lips pressed tightly together. Clearly this was news to her.

“So, Collins was hitting on you?” Richard prompted, trying to get back to the issue of Charlotte.

Charlotte nodded. “He never forced or threatened me or anything. He just clearly thought LBS owed him a fuck for all the ‘wonderful’ assistance he’s given us. And he offered to help our CD along, so that didn’t hurt.”

Richard reached out and pulled her close to him, stroking her back comfortingly. “Why did you do it?” he asked.

“Why not?” she squeaked. “He was easy. I could kiss Collins and it was nothing to me. I could be in control with him. It would be a simple business transaction. He would help the band and I knew I would feel nothing for him, that he could never hurt me.” She closed her eyes and bit her lip hard, struggling to keep control. “It was just a business deal.”

Richard stayed calm, stroking her back, careful to remain open to her, but inside his heart was breaking in two. He was devastated to know that his Charlotte, his beautiful, beautiful Charlotte, could think she was worth so little. “Char, why didn’t you tell anyone?” he asked, again not judging, only seeking to understand.

“I tried,” she whispered.

Richard grew very still, his eyes not focusing on anything. Then slowly he licked his lips and attempted to speak words that were almost too difficult to say. “What do you mean?” he whispered hoarsely.

“I tried to tell you last night when Alex told me Collins was coming. I knew he would be expecting something from me today.”

With her words, Richard’s flesh turned to stone. He felt all the color, all the life draining out of his body, leaving only a worthless shell. He struggled to breathe as two facts became completely inescapable to him: he loved her, and just as surely, he was destroying her. He had a moment of breathtaking clarity and he knew what he needed to do. He had to save her, even if it meant losing himself. Gently he returned to stroking her back. “You should have told me, Char. I would have helped.”

Charlotte looked at him and he could see the anger in her eyes. “When?” she seethed. “When you were screwing that blonde?” She snorted. “It was easier on my pride just to do Collins.” She pulled away and walked across the room, crossing her arms in front of herself and pressing her hands to her chest.

“I’m sorry, Char; you’re right,” he said with a voice awash in sadness. He walked to her and rested his hands on her upper arms, her head fitting neatly under his chin, and they stood there, each lost in their own pain. “I’m very sorry, Charlotte. For what it’s worth, he won’t bother you anymore. Darcy will get rid of him and you’ll never have to see him again.”

Charlotte snorted derisively. “I told you, Collins was the least of my worries.”

He turned her around, her body not resisting him. She looked into his eyes, and for the first time, she found a wall there, a barrier. “I know. I’m going to try to fix that.” He kissed her once, softly. “Charlotte, you were wrong. You’re too good for the likes of him. You’re too good for the likes of me.”

“What?” Charlotte asked, confused and suddenly deeply worried.

For a moment he couldn’t answer her. “I just meant you sold yourself far too cheaply. You are very special, and I really hope that someday you know it.”

Charlotte’s chin began quivering and she shut her eyes tightly. “Please don’t say that.”

Richard took her close into his arms and nodded, his lips making soft soothing sounds in her ear. He could feel her fighting against her tears. He wished he could give her what she needed, so she could trust herself enough to cry in front of him. It was curious; she gave him every part of her body, but her soul she held far away from him. He smiled bitterly as he realized that this was for the best. He knew he could only bring her pain, and he loved her just enough to turn away from her.

He watched her pull herself together and put on a brave face for him. He smiled encouragingly at her. Yes, he told himself, this was best. He looked at her beautiful face, one he would always hold dear, and sincerely hoped that she would find someone who deserved her, someone better than himself.

***

As Elizabeth entered the living room of the suite, she was surprised to see Darcy there. Then she remembered she had invited him for dinner. He was speaking into his cell phone as waves of anger washed off him. His voice was low and dangerous.

“I want to be explicitly clear. I will
not
work for a company that allows its executives to sexually harass its artists. Now you have five minutes to make this right or I will pull our contract and I don’t care how much it costs me.” There was a pause, and then he growled, “Well then, perhaps you should put your mother on the phone, Anne.”

Elizabeth shivered at the cold rage she heard in his voice. She turned to see Charles, Jane, and Caroline all looking worried and puzzled.

“What happened, Lizzy?”

Elizabeth sighed disgustedly. “I don’t know, really, I came in to tell Charlotte about dinner and I found her in the bedroom making out with Collins.”

“What?”

“Oh my God!”

“Richard is talking to her now,” Elizabeth reported in resignation.

“Where is Mr. Collins?” Jane asked.

Elizabeth shrugged.

“I saw him leave when I came in,” Darcy said in a soft voice as he put away his phone. “Elizabeth, may I speak to you?”

Elizabeth nodded. A feeling of numbness had come over her. She walked into her bedroom, knowing he would follow.

Darcy closed the door firmly behind them. He turned to see Elizabeth pacing the room, her arms wrapped tightly around herself.

“Lizzy?” he said in a gentle tone.

Elizabeth’s eyes closed and her face crumpled into a mask of pain as she put a hand to her forehead. “It’s all my fault!” she said shakily, her breathing labored and quick. “I knew! I knew exactly what he was, and I didn’t tell anyone.”

“You told me,” he said, standing as still as a statue.

“But I should’ve told them! I should’ve told her!” she cried. “Damn it! I was glad he was paying attention to Charlotte because it meant he would leave me alone!” She broke down into sobs and suddenly he was there, his arms wrapped around her as she cried out her guilt.

Her tears soon slowed and stopped. Elizabeth pulled out of his arms to turn to the window, her face hidden in her long hair.

“Elizabeth?” he said, his voice hardly a whisper. “It wasn’t your fault.”

Elizabeth was filled with shame and embarrassment. That he of all people should know of her failing. She couldn’t look at him. She found herself conflicted, wanting both to flee and to go to him, to let him protect and hold her.

“Elizabeth, listen to me.” He moved so that she was in front of him, her eyes staring up at his face, her expression one of loss and pain. “It wasn’t your fault.” For a moment, Elizabeth couldn’t understand his words, because she was distracted by the fullness of his lips. They looked so soft she wanted very much to kiss them.

She stared at him with eyes wide and dark, and without thinking, he kissed her. It was the light, gentle kiss of one angel to another. He pulled his mouth away, and she made the softest sound of protest and he fell back to her.

Elizabeth opened her mouth to him, knowing nothing more than how good it felt. Darcy kissed her with a passion that burned her soul. He explored her mouth, skillfully teasing her into entering his. She tasted him, lost in the feeling of pleasure that only made her want more.

Kissing Darcy was everything she had wanted it to be, and much more. She sighed as she felt his strong hands on her back, pulling her body tightly to his. She could offer no resistance, nor did she want to. Her hands grasped his shoulders as she struggled to maintain her equilibrium. Yet somehow she knew that if she fell, he would catch her and hold her up.

She opened her mouth wide, offering more of herself to him while she tried to possess as much of him as she could. Back and forth the hungry tide went: tasting, teasing, probing, then submitting to the sweet bliss of the other’s penetration.

Elizabeth felt a need growing large within her. Stirrings of desire that made any lust she had felt before seem like a passing caprice. Unknowingly, she cried out as his lips left hers to travel to her throat, as he kissed the line between her ear and shoulder, murmuring her name over and over. She shifted herself closer to him and was relieved rather than shocked when she felt his hand cup her full breast. Her body pushed itself into him, without any awareness on her part, seeking what it needed so badly.

Any thoughts or questions in her mind were drowned away by the strong masculine scent of him that washed over her as she pressed her face into his neck. She licked him, trying to capture the delicious taste of his skin. Desire she dared not acknowledge before drove her on as she felt him bury his fingers in her long hair and move her head back so he could once again plunder her mouth.

Moans of impatient pleasure were the only sounds in the room, until a knock on the door thundered in their ears. Elizabeth froze then hurriedly stepped back as Caroline’s voice came to them: “Darcy, Lizzy, we need you.”

With a rush that almost knocked her off her feet, everything came back to Elizabeth: Charlotte, Collins, everything. She paled then flamed as she remembered her situation, even as her fingertips were tracing over her swollen lips.

Darcy looked at her, his dark eyes a one-way mirror, which she could not see through to his feelings. “Are you okay?” he asked with obvious concern.

Elizabeth nodded, not yet having found her voice.