First Love (Complicated Love Book 1) (6 page)

“First, I’d beat the living shit out of the guy. Then I’d walk out and never look back again. It would be the hardest fucking thing ever, but I wouldn’t be able to stay with a cheater.” 

He takes a deep breath as if he’s really picturing this happening. “Second, why didn’t you scream at them and give them a piece of your mind?  If you would have, you’d have known it wasn’t me. I wasn’t even in the damn building. I had no idea who the guy was until the wee hours of the morning, but I’m fairly positive it was Janice being a conniving bitch.” 

He pauses again, his eyes all watery. “This is something you should have already known, but I’m an idiot. I’ve been having issues with her but haven’t said anything to you yet because I know you hate her and I didn’t want you to worry any more than you already do. I’ve had some suspicions she’s been trying to set me up to look like a cheater for a few weeks now, but I see not telling you was the wrong thing to do.” 

You think? “Why not tell me to begin with?  Withholding information makes you look guilty.”

“I didn’t want to stress you out more. I know you’ve got a lot on your plate with the wedding and all the crap ‘The Moms’ put you through. I was waiting to get some concrete evidence before I told you, hoping to prevent anything like this from happening.”

“I’m at a loss for words. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I don’t know the right thing to believe or do, and I’m not sure we can accomplish anything right now. I need some time to absorb and process everything. I’ve always believed you’d never cheat on me, but what I saw and heard makes me question everything even though you say it wasn’t you. I want to hear more about Janice setting you up, but not right now. Plus, wouldn’t I notice if it wasn’t you?”

“I’m sorry you’re conflicted. I want so badly to tell you to believe me, but you need to come to that conclusion on your own. I can only hope, once you’ve had time to think and process everything, you’ll want to sit down and talk with me. I understand that it would be devastating to see and hear something like that. As I said to you, I would have beat the guy. Please take all the time you need to figure it out, but please come home with me. Don’t leave me yet. I simply can’t live my life without you.”

“I really need some time alone. I came here to be with Shawna. I need time away from you so I can think clearly. Having you around is going to cloud my judgment. I’m not saying you have to go home, but I need today to be with Shawna. Maybe you and Frank can hang out and do something.”

“I can work with that. I can’t leave here without you, so I’m happy you didn’t ask that of me.”

Heading to the door, I look back and say, “Thank you for coming for me even though I can’t give you the welcome you were looking for.” Then I, leave him alone.

Walking into the kitchen Shawna and Frank drop their jaws when they see I’m alone. I have a feeling they thought I was going to be coming out with Brian in tow and all would be forgotten and forgiven. I can’t do that without making sure I’m doing the right thing. I don’t want to be one of those women who believes their guy isn’t a cheater when he really is.

“Shawna, I know you thought I’d forgive Brian and all would be well, but I can’t be around him right now. I need time to think and process everything he told me. I’m sure you guys heard some of our conversation. I’d like to steal you away and have a girls’ day. Maybe Frank can hang with Brian?” Looking over at Frank, I hope he’ll be on board with this idea. “I told Brian I needed today. Maybe, by tonight, I’ll be ready to talk with him more.”

“Donna, you know I’ll do whatever you need. Let’s go have a girls’ day and leave the men to do whatever they do.”

I’m so happy she’s on board with this. I want to relax and think about what the right thing is in this situation. I don’t want to make the mistake of a lifetime and regret it later. There is too much riding on the decision.

Then Brian walks into the kitchen.

“Bye, Brian. I’ll see you later this evening.”  I wish I could tell him I’m sorry that I’m hurting him by taking time, but I don’t think I should be sorry.

“Bye. Have a great day. I love you. I always have and always will,” he says.

***

Spending the day at the arcade with Shawna was a lot of fun. We got to act like kids. I haven’t played Galaga in so long. After I kept beating Shawna, she wanted to play some other games. Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Frogger, Centipede, and Tetris all got some of our attention. It was so refreshing to let go of everything and pretend to be a kid again. I don’t understand why kids always wish away being a kid to be an adult. It really isn’t any fun.

I had a great time with Shawna, but I didn’t have a lot of time to think over everything Brian had said. But that’s okay because I feel like I’m more relaxed and able to listen to what he has to say now. The great thing about today was there was no talking about Brian or anything that brought me to California. To make it fair, we didn’t talk about Frank, either. 

I wasn’t sure what to expect when we got back to

Shawna’s, but I never could have imagined what greets us when we arrive. Frank is waiting outside to whisk Shawna away.

“Now, you behave tonight, Donna,” Frank says. “Don’t give my boy too hard of a time. Let him talk to you.”

“I will. You two really don’t need to leave your place to give us alone time. We can always get a hotel. I feel bad that you guys are leaving.”

“Don’t feel bad. We want you both to feel comfortable enough to talk things out. Please don’t feel like you’re putting us out. I have a special surprise for my lady here,” Frank says as he opens the car door for Shawna.

Walking up to the apartment has my nerves going crazy, and I have butterflies in my stomach. I don’t know what to expect from Brian. I want to believe he wasn’t the man in his office, but how can I when I saw him and heard the woman say his name? But did I really see him?

Do I walk into the condo, or do I knock? I’m guessing, because they left us to the place, that I can just open the door. As I’m pondering what to do, Brian.

“You going to stand out there all night, or you going to come in?”

Looking up, I see him standing in the doorway, holding the door open for me. “I was planning on coming in. I wasn’t sure if I should walk in or knock.”

“I’d say walk in, but now that I have the door open, I’ll invite you in. Come on in, beautiful.”

“What are you doing, Brian?”

“I wanted to have some peace and quiet to talk with you. I need to tell you about everything that’s been going on in the office and what we, as in you and me, should do about it. We need to do this as a couple and not me doing it solo like I was. That was stupid of me.”

This is going to be a long conversation, so I sit on the couch. Brian can either follow or not.

“Brian, I’m going to come out with it. I know you told me it wasn’t you, but with seeing you and hearing Janice moaning and shouting, ‘Harder, Brian,’ what am I supposed to think? Janice has never liked me and is always blatantly eye-fucking you in front of me. You’re always working long hours. Again, Brian, what am I supposed to think?” My voice gets louder the more I say. I need to take a deep breath and calm down.

Shawna and Frank might get pissed if their neighbors call the cops or the condo manager on us because we’re too loud.

“First of all, I wasn’t in my office during lunch yesterday. Second, I have proof it wasn’t me. And last, you need to breathe and calm down, hun. I want you to listen to everything I’ve been needing to say, and then you can ask questions.”

“Don’t you dare sit there and tell me to calm the fuck down. I don’t need to be calm. I can do what I want. Until you prove it wasn’t you, I’m allowed to be angry. I have all the evidence I need to believe it was you. So please excuse me if I’m having trouble not being pissed at you.”

“Sorry. I wasn’t trying to tell you what to do. I didn’t want you to have a panic attack.”

I know he cares about me, so I listen to him tell me his dad’s been trying to get him to hook up with Janice because “it’s all right to have a side piece of ass.” That it’s a given for a man, and I wouldn’t leave him or say anything about it. His father believes I’m unable to be a wild, crazy minx in the bedroom, and all men need a mistress to fulfill their deepest desires. He then goes on to tell me he’s noticed random things in his office—used condoms, panties, even a bra. He briefly mentions that there is something else going on with some mysterious files, but I honestly can’t follow along at this point. I’m still pissed about the condoms, the panties, and the bra left in his office.

“What the fuck? Why didn’t you bring this up before? I can’t believe you’ve left me in the dark on all this. You do realize this makes you look guilty, telling me all of this now, after I caught you.”

“I didn’t want to say anything until I knew who was trying to set me up. I didn’t want you to think I was messing around but trying to make it look like I wasn’t. I set up a video camera in my office and told Janice I’d be out for a few hours, but you’d be coming by for lunch around noon.

“I didn’t know you’d actually show up, but since I thought she was the culprit, I figured that’d be a great incentive to get her to use my office again. The one thing I didn’t expect to see in that video was the man. I know he’s cheated before, but I don’t understand why he wanted to set me up. Unless he somehow knows I came upon the unmarked files Janice has been keeping hidden from everyone.” 

His hesitation to tell me who’s behind this tells me who it is.

“Your father’s the man, isn’t he? Oh my gosh, Brian. I’m so sorry. Why would he do this to you? He’s never really liked me, even though our moms pushed us together. What does your father have against me? What’d I ever do to deserve this? We don’t deserve this. . . You’re his son, for Christ’s sake. He should want you happy.” 

I’m crying now. I had no idea his dad hated me this much. Why would he attempt to ruin his son’s life?  How could I have mistaken him for Brian?

“I don’t know exactly what he’s trying to accomplish, Donna, but I’m done with him. I’m thinking of leaving the firm. I can’t work with him anymore, and I don’t know if I can allow him to remain in my life, either. He’s a manipulative bastard. It’s always been his way or the highway, but I never thought he’d stoop this low. Please know I’d never cheat on you. You mean the world to me. I can’t live without you.”

“Oh, Brian, why didn’t you tell me right away? How was I to know you were being set up when you wouldn’t talk to me? I want to feel bad, but I know deep down I was right to leave.” If only my heart and my brain would feel the same way.

“No, you have nothing to be sorry about. I know how horrible it must’ve been for you to see and hear. I had trouble myself watching the video. I have no doubt in my mind they wanted you to hear them, and they wanted you to leave me. I know why Janice wanted you out of the way, but I’m not sure what my dad hoped to gain.” He rubs the back of his neck.

Wow. I never suspected that his father was this vindictive. I want to go home right now and get to the bottom of this. There must be a reason his dad wants me gone after all these years. I wonder what happened to make him feel this way. Something did. He’s not an overly friendly man, but he usually ignores me and goes about his life.

“Brian, please don’t get mad at this question, but I need to know. I know your dad’s always thrown easy, slutty women at you, but did you ever take him up on his offers? We’ve been together since we were sixteen, but I also remember it didn’t start out great because I was against dating you because it’s what our parents wanted.”

I shouldn’t have tried to push him away. God, I hope he says no. He told me he was a virgin when we got together; it’s what made our first time together so special. We got to experience it together and didn’t have to worry we’d let one another down.

“Let me say this, and I’ll only say it once. I have never, and will never, cheat on you. You may not have wanted to be with me from the beginning, but I’ve always wanted you, and I’m happy our parents threw us together. I love you and would do anything in the world to make you happy.”

“It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be with you,” I say. “It was more I didn’t want to ruin our friendship and I hate being told what to do.” I need him to understand I’ve always wanted him but I valued our friendship more. “Also, I didn’t think you had, but that was one reason I thought maybe your dad would want me gone. Maybe you used to enjoy the women with him and he didn’t want to lose his wingman.” God, that sounds stupid.

“I don’t think I’ll ever understand why he’s doing this to me, to us.”

I hate that he’s so broken right now. I want him to be happy and not have to worry about all of this shit. “So, what’re we going to do now? Where do we go from here?”

“Let’s get some sleep and deal with my dad when we get home tomorrow. I have a feeling my walking away will cause them to threaten to disown me, but at this point, I really don’t care if he does. What he did to you, to us, is unforgivable.”

“While I understand it’s important to talk to your dad as soon as possible, I’d like to stay and visit with Shawna and Frank tomorrow. Hang out with them again tomorrow and leave in the evening to head home. Maybe leave after dinner and then stop somewhere for the night and then drive the rest of the way the next morning.”  I feel like a bitch for wanting to stay with Shawna, but I haven’t seen her in forever. I need some time with her before we head back home to the unknown.

“I’d rather us head home now, but I know how much staying means to you. We don’t get to see Shawna and Frank often, so we can put this on hold for the weekend.  A day of fun is something we can both use. You’ve been stressed with the wedding, and I’ve been killing myself at work.”

“About that. What’re you going to do for work if you leave your dad’s firm? Can you get a job with the same perks? What about talking with my dad about staying on with him? I know you want to be financially secure before we start a family.”

“I’ll do what I can to find a job, but I’m not too worried. Your dad may be able to help me out. We’ll have to play it by ear. I need to do this for you, also. I want you to know you’re the most important thing in my life. I would give up everything for you.”