First Love (6 page)

She looked away for a moment and then she said, “I don’t need you to understand what I’ve done, only why I’ve done it.”

“Lisa, no, Tamika, have you settled your blood debt?” he asked calmly.

“My blood debt won’t be settled until every last hunter is dead,” she said.

“That should not even be a choice for you.  Tamika you can’t spend your life taking revenge, your father wouldn’t want that, and you mate certainly won’t,” Dean said.

“You don’t understand,” Lisa growled.

“Funny; that is what Jared told me when I told him to let you go.  Take my advice, Tamika, your family would not want you to spend your life killing for them,” he said with blatant pity in his eyes.

“Maybe not, but I don’t know if I could live knowing that the people responsible for their deaths went unpunished,” she said with tears welling in her eyes.

“Who are you really trying to punish?  Them or you, Tamika?” he asked gently.

“Why can’t it be both?” she responded with a dry laugh.

“What has Jared done to deserve being punished this way?” he countered.

“Nothing,” she said quietly.

“Exactly, nothing.  I don’t know what you’ve done or what you plan to do; but if you can’t let it go for your sake, let it go for his,” Dean said as he got up and opened the door.  “I think for the time being you need to be talking to Jared, not to me.”

She looked at him sadly before walking out of the door and back to the car.  Slipping in the passenger side seat she sat there with her arms folded while Jared just looked at her.

“Well, how did it go?” he asked.

“I have officially been kicked out of counselling,” she said simply.

“Dean wouldn’t do that,” Jared said, shaking his head.

“Well, he did,” she said.

“Lisa, I am going to drive and you are going to talk.  I need to know what I’m dealing with when I go before the council,” he said as he shifted the car into gear.

“Jared, you don’t want to know my secrets.  Trust me, you don’t,” she said quietly as her eyes pleaded with his.

“For better or worse I have to, Lisa,” he said.

They drove on random interstate for almost an hour before Lisa realized that he would keep driving until she talked.  She grimaced knowing that she would not make it out of the car with anything the same.  He claimed she was his other half, but he would never forgive her for killing so many.

“They came in the middle of the night.  We had gotten too comfortable.  My father had stopped posting watchmen around the family compound because the interpack laws had just been signed.  He wanted to trust other wolves; so much so that he didn’t even think about hunters,” she said quietly.

“They came in force and had the help of their own mage.  He cast a spell so we couldn’t shift.  I was so little they started with me.  The beat me until I struggled to breathe.  I knew they wanted me dead, so I held my breath until I looked that way.  Granted they had beaten me more than enough to do the job.  There have been more than a few days I wished they had finished it,” she said.

“Lisa…” he said with pity in his voice. 

She held up her hand and shook her head as she said, “Let me finish, Jared.  I drifted in and out of consciousness, but I was aware enough to know what was going on.  They tied our men up and made them watch as they raped the women and when they were finished with them, the hunters cut them.  They fileted them alive.  I can still feel Alysia’s sticky body against mine in my nightmares.  When a woman finally died they threw her into the pile—the pile I was at the bottom of.  When they finished with the women they did the same thing to the men; only worse.”

“Lisa, I am so sorry,” he said.

“I spent hours listening to my pack being tortured and murdered.  You’ll have to forgive me for condensing it for you, Jared, but no one should have to carry these memories.  The worst part is that I’m responsible for it.  I was a little girl and all I wanted was a damned friend.  I chose the wrong one,” she said simply.

Jared pulled the car over and looked her over as if it was his first time seeing her.  He noticed the faint lines of scarring on her wrists and just now realized he had never seen her in shorts or short sleeves.  She had said she was beaten until they thought she was dead.  She made it sound like it was quick and merciful in the way she skimmed over it, but he knew it was brutal.

“Lisa, I hate to make this worse on you, but I have to ask.  Do you remember what happened to Tamika?  The alpha’s daughter,” he asked.  Jared had to know.

When she met his eyes tears left salty trails down her face and she whispered, “Why couldn’t you just move on like I asked you to?  I’m so sorry, Jared.”

His mind was spinning as he tried to imagine what had happened to his Tamika.  His father had said he had seen the body, but it was still hard to accept.  Jared was so consumed with thoughts of the horrible things they probably did to her that he did not even notice when Lisa reached over.  Her fingers laced through his own and he almost stopped breathing when he realized it didn’t hurt.

Lisa looked haunted as she gazed out of the window while Jared pushed the sleeve of her shirt up.  When he saw the mating mark on her forearm he leaned down and kissed it.  She may have been through hell, but his mate had made it through it.

Jared refused to release her hand as he pulled the car back onto the interstate.  He drove for maybe ten minutes before he finally broke the silence as he started laughing.  He laughed until he cried.

“All this time I looked at you and thought, if Tamika had grown up she would look like you.  It’s what made me want to work at the club.  I should have never taken my father’s word that the body he saw was yours.  I should have looked for you,” he said with blatant bitterness in his voice.

“You would never have found me.  I didn’t want to be found.  I still don’t,” she said gently.

“What do you mean you still don’t?” he asked with anger seeping into his voice.

“I mean I am asking you to have the spell broken.  Free us both, Jared.  I am not fit to be an alpha to any pack; especially not yours.  You are going to lead the remaining five one day and I don’t want to be a target again,” she said simply.

“Then Jackson can lead the pack.  I’ve waited for you for too long to just let you go,” he said with certainty.

“I am not a possession, Jared.  Please don’t make me beg.  We both need this spell broken,” she said, but she held his hand as tightly as he held hers.

Chapter 6

              Tamika ran through the woodlands surrounding her home as a black ball of fluff.  Much like her human form was that of an eight year old girl, her wolf form was just a pup.  Two days had passed since her family had died.  Yet, the monsters who did it lingered. 

              She hadn’t slept.  She couldn’t.  Her family, her pack were all dead and it was her fault.  She knew it the moment she saw Bryan among the hunters.  Her family would still be alive if not for her.  She couldn’t help letting out a soft whine.

              She stalked the family compound by darting from shadow to shadow.  After some time one older hunter, a man with dusty brown hair, walked away from the compound into the woods.  She followed him and waited for her chance.

              Picking up a nearby stick she rushed to him with it.  She sat it down in front of him and yipped.  She danced around the stick until he finally picked it up.  She jumped happily as he looked it over.

              “See, pup, you are how dogs are supposed to be.  No changing into humans.  All you want is for me to throw this stick and when I do you’ll bring it back and want me to throw it again.  I bet you’re going to be a loyal little thing,” he said with a warm smile.

             
You have no idea how loyal,
Tamika thought to herself.

              He reached down and picked her up, looking her over.  She whined and licked his hand.  He chuckled and pulled her to his chest.  He scratched her behind the ears and snuggled her into the crook of his neck.

              Tamika sniffed and licked at his neck.  He laughed thinking it puppyish affection.  Tamika on the other hand knew exactly where his carotid artery was when she bit down on it.  He screamed and flung her away from him. 

              Tamika ached from where she hit a tree, but was on her feet instantly.  She faded back into the shadows of the forest before the man’s screams attracted other hunters.  Staying to the shadows she watched as two hunters rushed to the man’s side.

              By the time they got there he had already bled out onto the ground. 

              “Damn it,” the first one murmured under his breath.  “Tell the men to pack up, burn it, and move out.”

              “Those wounds are from a small wolf, we could hunt it down,” the second man said.

              “No, we can’t.  This beast knows these woods and if the spell that prevents them from shifting was recast it would be stuck as a wolf for the next day or so.  We will hunt this creature down, but when it’s on two legs, not four,” the first man said.

              Over the next hour they burned her home to ground and packed up and left.  There was no remorse for what they did.  They would have.  Tamika vowed to herself that every last one of them would feel her pain.

###

              “Why are we at your house?” she asked annoyed.

              “It is our house and we’re here because I’m not capable of sharing you just yet,” he said gently.

              Jared knew in that moment that she was going to fight every last moment for control.  Tamika did not want to be here.  For years he did not feel he deserved love after not protecting her, but he was beginning to think she honestly believed she did not deserve anything because of the loss of her pack.

              He did not know how to fix her, but he knew the first step was completing the mating ceremony.  Once their bond was solidified she would not be able to run.  He had known her almost a decade and he realized on the way home that she had shared almost nothing about herself with anyone around her.

              “You don’t get to make those decisions for me, Jared.  I don’t belong to you,” she said, trying to pull her hand out of his grasp.

              “Actually, there’s a mark on your arm that says otherwise, Tamika.  Quite frankly, I am not letting you out of my sight until I know you’re over this killing spree of yours, so you are just going to have to deal,” he said, sounding more like a leader than lover.

              “I was well within my rights by pack law,” she almost hissed.

“I saw the way you looked at that hunter in the bar.  You were a heartbeat away from coming over the counter and ripping his throat out.  Tamika, I just don’t think that killing them has helped you,” he said with a heavy sigh.

“It’s not about me,” she said.

“Yes, actually, I think it is.  I’m done talking about it for now,” Jared said as he popped her seatbelt.  “Come on, let me show you to your room.”

He got out of the car before she could protest and walked around and opened her door.  Tamika had crossed her arms and just sat there.  He sighed as he realized she was pouting just like a child.

“I am not walking in your house,” she said.

“Fine, don’t,” he said with an annoyed sigh as he bent down and slipped one arm under her legs and another behind her back.

“I am getting very tired of you just picking me up and carrying me whenever I don’t yield to your way.  Put me down,” Tamika complained.

“I will put you down when we’re in the house,” he said in a flat tone.

“You were always a controlling ass, even when we were children,” she lashed out at him.

“An admirable trait among alphas.  You would appreciate it more if you weren’t one yourself,” Jared said.

He managed to unlock the door without shifting her in the slightest and carried her through the finely carved midnight door.  Shutting it with his foot he let her down, but he made sure she slid along his body as her feet found the ground.  Jared did not let her go even after she was on her feet. 

Tamika looked up and met his eyes.  She was angry.  In fact, he’d bet she was a bit more than angry.  Her fingernails dug into his arms where he held.  The only problem was that he didn’t care simply because holding her was a dream he thought he’d never have.

“Jared, let me go,” she said.

Tamika put some bite behind her words, but she wasn’t surprised when he continued to hold onto her.  He looked at her like she was some sort of miracle incarnate and it made her uncomfortable.  It didn’t surprise her when he leaned down and kissed her.

What did surprise her was how right it felt.  Tamika couldn’t help but lean into the kiss.  Her pulse raced with excitement.  It wasn’t until his kisses strayed down her neck that her brain re-engaged.

“Stop,” she whispered.  When he didn’t even slow down she pushed him hard and said more forcefully, “Stop it, Jared!”

He stepped away and paced a few times.  He was struggling for any control.  When he caught her eye Tamika saw more wolf there than human.  Swallowing hard she stepped closer to him and said, “You need to calm down.”

“I need my mate,” he snarled back.

The blatant instinct behind his words hit her hard. 

“You’re never going to break the spell that binds us, are you?  No matter how much I ask you to, no matter how much I beg you, you’re not going to break it,” she said.

The glare he gave her said it all.  She could fight all day long, but he was not going to let her go.  She had not survived hunting the people who killed her family by ignoring the inevitable.  Somethings just couldn’t be changed and it was a waste of energy to try.

Sighing, she walked over to a couch in the front room and collapsed on it. 

“I have conditions if I agree to be your mate,” she said.

“You are already my mate,” Jared argued.

“No, the spell prevents each of us from being with anyone else.  We both know the mating bond is not complete.  If you keep behaving as if I am your property it won’t be—ever,” she said.

Jared walked over and sat down in a chair across from her.  It was a battle with his instincts to sit still and he was losing it.  Outside his home he was compelled to protect her, but here, in his space, all he wanted to do was claim her as his own.

“I am more than capable of protecting myself, so this picking me up and bodily moving me when I don’t give you your way has to stop,” Tamika instructed him.

“It is my birthright to protect you.  If you are in danger I am not going to just leave you in it, but I do see your point.  You have my word that unless your life is in danger I won’t just move you,” Jared said with a sigh.

She knew he wasn’t telling the whole truth, but Tamika was going to let it slide for now. 

“You will not interfere with my blood debt,” she said flatly.

“I can’t make that promise.  It’s only a matter of time before we’re called before the council.  You can’t just kill over a hundred people and not be questioned about it, Tamika.  Let the damn debt go, your family is more than avenged,” he said.

“I will answer to the council when the time comes, but I am not going to answer to you on this.  An alpha does not allow anyone connected to the slaughter of their pack to live,” she said simply.

His features sagged with sadness as he looked at her and he asked, “What happened to the little girl that smiled as brightly as the sun itself?”

“She died, Jared.  That is why you should free both of us from this spell,” she said in a tone as cold as ice.

“I have a term of my own, Tamika.  Once we are truly mated if you conceive a child don’t let them see this—this darkness—that you have let grow inside yourself,” he said.

Tamika laughed at him and said, “Jared, don’t be stupid.  The darkness is all that is left.”

“You’re so wrong,” he said.  Jared had only cried a few times in his life, but he fought back tears at her words.

“My bar remains neutral territory,” she said, moving right on to the next term of the agreement.

He nodded.

“Fine,” she said leaning back and crossing her arms.

Jared stared at her a moment before he got up out of the chair.  He walked over and braced his hands on the back of the couch on either side of her face.  Leaning down he kissed her.  Tamika’s arms snaked around his neck and pulled him closer.  His hands roamed under her shirt, exploring every inch of skin he could touch.

They were both entranced in the kiss.  They devoured each other, so much so that the rest of the world fell away.  They did not hear the knocking at the door, or the yell of warning from David Maurison. 

“What the hell?!” Jackson yelled at them as he and his father walked into the room.

They both stopped dead in their tracks.  Jared blinked a few times before leaving a fast, soft kiss on her forehead as he pulled her shirt back down into place.  He painfully pushed himself off of her and stood in front of her.  He moved so he effectively hid her from view, unfortunately, there was no covering up that damn perfume she wore.

“You knew I wanted her.  You could have any she-wolf you wanted, but you chose her—the human I want,” Jackson said with a quiet anger that almost made the room shake.

David studied Jared for a moment before turning to his younger son and commanding him, “Go home Jackson.”

“Father, you don’t….” Jackson tried to say.

“As your alpha I am commanding you to go home and forget this girl.  She isn’t yours, she never was.  Now go,” he said while blatantly pushing his younger son.

Turning back to Jared he smiled warmly and said, “You had the spell broken.  Son, I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you’ve finally done it.”

Jared just stared at his father.  How was he supposed to answer?  If he agreed then it would be obvious he was lying.  If he disagreed then it would be obvious who Lisa was and the odds of her letting him kiss her again dropped considerably.  Either way, his wild side wanted them away from her.

David had been an alpha for many years and it was easy to recognize his son was in conflict about something.  He had expected the boy to grieve when he finally let the mating bond go, so he was actually elated to find him here attempting to sow his oats.

He started to step around his son to meet the young woman on the couch when Jared let out a deep growl.  David stopped, immediately recognizing there was no control behind it; just pure instinct.  Stepping back he waited for his son to start breathing normally again.

Tamika got up off the couch and threaded her hands around his stomach as she said, “Jared, we talked about this.  I can take care of myself.”

David recognized her voice immediately and asked, “Lisa Brooks, is that you?”

Tamika rested her face against Jared’s back as she said, “Mr. Maurison, it may be a good idea if you leave.”

“I will, as soon as my son explains to me why he is acting like newly mated pup in rut,” he said with disappointment seeping into his tone.

Tamika wasn’t even sure Jared heard what his father said as much as he heard the older man’s tone.  He lunged out of her hands and towards his father.  Jared was acting on instinct and not much else.  She cursed the damn spell as she bolted around him.

She placed herself between Jared and David.  She held her hands out to him and asked, “Jared please don’t do anything you’ll regret.  He’s more than just your father.”

“You’ve obviously never regretted anything,” he snapped at her.

“Enough!” David yelled.  He met his son’s eyes and pushed him hard as he said, “Jared, you will calm down right now.  You will treat me with the respect I deserve as your father and your alpha.  Now, tell me what you were doing with this young lady.”