First Drop of Crimson (16 page)

Deep contentment coursed through her. It wasn’t just enjoyment stemming from her being tired and now situated in a far more comfortable position; it was the sense of
rightness
she felt in Spade’s arms. Like she was where she was supposed to be, close to the only person she wanted to be with. It didn’t even seem possible that a short time ago, she’d feared Spade.

Or maybe she hadn’t. Maybe her panic attacks around vampires had been the only thing preventing her from focusing on the very real, very intense connection she felt to Spade. He understood her better than she understood herself at times. When Spade looked at her, she felt like she wasn’t the broken, pitiful, helpless widow others saw. Spade saw a woman with a scarred past who had the strength to go on despite her loss. And more and more, Denise didn’t look at Spade and see a vampire in a violent world—she saw a man who had the courage to take whatever life threw at him and come out on top.

She saw someone she wanted a future with.

The intensity of her emotions was shocking, but Denise was too tired to dwell on all the obstacles that made her feelings moot. She didn’t have to worry about that now. Right now, she could sit here and soak up that wonderful sense of belonging, of caring, of
rightness
. After all the horror, grief, and pain of the past year plus, she needed this.

Then later, she’d do what had to be done.

Spade stood over Denise. Her beautiful face was so peaceful in sleep, absent the worry, strain, and guilt that normally shadowed it. He loathed waking her, knowing she’d been running on sheer willpower for the past several days. She hadn’t even stirred when he’d carried her from the car up to this room, placing her in bed. But he couldn’t wait any longer.

“Denise.” He couldn’t resist touching her face and then drifting his hand down her neck. Her skin was like molten satin, the feel of it as addicting as her blood. “Denise, wake up.”

Her eyes opened, an entrancing mixture of brown and green fixing on him. She blinked and then smiled sleepily.

“Hey. Are we here?”

“For four hours now,” he replied, his mouth twitching as she glanced around, surprise stamped on her features when she realized she was in a bedroom instead of the car she’d fallen asleep in.

“Wow. I must have really passed out.” Denise shook her head, sitting up and running a hand through her thick dark hair to push it out of her face. Her stomach woke up next, judging from the howl it let out that had her flushing faintly.

Spade moved aside, revealing the table beside him that had several covered dishes on it.

“Hamburger with lettuce, tomato, pickle, and ketchup, extra fries, plus chicken soup, crackers, and chocolate cake.”

Her eyes widened and then she laughed. “You remembered exactly what I like. God, Spade, I think I love you.”

It was said in jest, but the tightness in his chest at hearing those words struck him like a blow. He already knew he cared for Denise far more than he’d cared for anyone in a very long time, but at that moment, he realized how serious it had become.
I’m in love with you. I never thought that would happen to me again—and especially with a human.

She
had
to let him change her into a vampire. He couldn’t bear losing her to her fragile human mortality, where death could pounce even under the most benign of circumstances. As a human, she could choke on a bite of that hamburger and be lost to him forever, for pity’s sake. There was no way he could tolerate her remaining human, and if she cared for him as he believed she did, she’d want to change over so they could be together for centuries at least. Not mere decades.

Denise cleared her throat, looking away, her honeyed jasmine scent turning tarter with discomfort over her previous quip. Far more discomfort than she should feel, unless she also knew there was more between them than friendly affection, necessity, or lust.

“I need to talk to you,” she said, pretending to study the painting on the opposite wall. “It’s important, and I don’t want anyone to overhear it.”

Anticipation surged in him. Was she about to admit that she cared for him? Had she realized their worlds were equally dangerous and there was no more cruelty in his versus hers?

Bloody hell, if she did, he’d cancel the party and spend the rest of the evening in bed with her, sod how Web or any of the other undead guests might be offended. He could always smooth things over with them later, but he’d be damned if he would turn Denise away were she to declare her feelings for him.

He crossed the room, shutting the door and then turning on the telly loud enough to make her feel comfortable that they wouldn’t be overheard. Then he sat on edge of the bed, fighting not to do anything to startle her. Like tearing her clothes off so he could feel her scorching, silky skin all over him.

“What is it?” he asked, not a hint of his internal struggle in his voice.

She took a deep breath. “I’m calling it off, everything. Whatever you were intending tonight with Web, looking for Nathanial, all of it.”

Frustration covered his desire in a blink. “Not
this
again. I’ve told you a dozen times; I’m not letting you go after Nathanial on your own.”

“I’m not intending to go after him at all,” she said, defiance and resignation competing in her voice. “You’re right, I couldn’t begin to find him without a vampire’s help, and no vampire but Bones would be crazy enough to help me, aside from you. We both know I can’t get Bones involved because of Cat, but if you continue to look for Nathanial, you’re going to get killed, and I can’t…I can’t live with that.”

He stared at her in amazement. “What about your family?”

She bit her lip. “They’ll have to hide with me. There’s not that many of them left; my parents, my cousin Felicity, her fiancé, and a few second cousins. I hate doing that to them, but Bones has people all over the world. He could set it up where we’d stay with one of them, like other humans do, only without the blood exchange. He could even trance them so they wouldn’t know their lives were in danger, or be miserable, feeling like they were imprisoned on the far edge of the world…”

Her voice cracked at that last part, but after another deep breath, it was steady again.

“No one has to get killed this way. You don’t have to risk your life. It’s the only logical solution.”

Spade took her hands, always covered with long gloves to hide the tattoos and the brands underneath them.

“Then you’ll never get these off, Denise. You won’t ever be human again, and you have no idea how long you’ll live this way, because the brands have obviously given Nathanial an abnormally long lifespan.”

She met his gaze. “I can stand that, but I can’t stand for you to keep risking your life for me. If I let you get killed, I’d feel like more of a monster than these brands would ever make me.”

Triumph flared in him. If she’d sacrifice her humanity in order to keep him safe, she had to care for him as deeply as he cared for her. And in that case, she
had
to be willing to become a vampire once he returned Nathanial to the demon and she got those brands off. After all, that was an infinitely better prospect than being a demon-branded shape-shifter.

He reached out to caress her face, savoring how her scent changed from determined anxiety to something far richer. Then, slowly, his hand curled around the back of her neck. Her heartbeat sped up as he leaned in, closing the distance between them, his mouth parting in anticipation of the sweetness of her lips.

A bang on the door had Denise jumping back even as Spade turned around with a curse.

“Go. Away.” A threatening growl any intelligent person would heed.

“Sire, my apologies, but you have an urgent call,” Alten said.

“Someone better be dying,” Spade muttered, vaulting up to open the door.

Alten held out his mobile phone mutely. Spade took it, barking, “What?” into the receiver.

“Why haven’t you been returning my calls?” Crispin asked coolly.

Denise was still reeling from that almost-kiss when Spade turned to her, covering his cell with his hand.

“I need to take this,” he said, and walked out.

She stared at the empty doorway for a second, stupefied. Had she just imagined the intensity of that moment? Had the emotions on Spade’s face as he bent toward her really been there, or had her feelings only cast an illusion of what she
wanted
to see? That must have been it. Spade sure hadn’t looked anything but aloof when he walked out like nothing had—almost—happened between them.

Disgusted, Denise went over to the tray and began eating. Her stomach didn’t care that she’d just been left hanging; it still growled and gurgled demandingly. She thought about spending the rest of what might be a very long life like this—hiding from Raum, her body no longer recognizable to her in many ways, outcast from her world and not accepted into any other.

Was this how Cat felt, being a half vampire, not really fitting into the human world or the vampire one? If it was, it sucked.

Of course, Cat actually had
useful
powers. All Denise had from her new abnormalities was an insatiable appetite and the occasional hand deformity.
Villains of the world, beware! I can eat you under the table AND gross you out with my monster paws!

She shoved her plate away after eating the fries and the chocolate cake. Having a pity party was useless. She had to start moving on with her life, such as it was. First she’d get cleaned up. A shower would at least take care of her hygiene needs. Then she’d thank Spade for everything he’d done and call Cat, explaining to her friend that she needed her family in the vampire version of a witness protection program. Even though she’d been a horrible friend to her recently, Cat would help her. She and Bones were good people like that.

And Spade could get on with
his
life, without her risking it or turning it upside down anymore. It was the right thing to do all around.

Spade left Denise’s room and kept walking all the way down the stairs and out the front door before he replied.

“Hallo, mate. Sorry for the lack of response. Been a bit busy, I’m afraid.”

“Indeed.” The single word had the same emphasis as if it had been
bollocks
.

Spade waited, not about to start saying anything that would sound defensive or raise Crispin’s suspicions. Either Crispin knew something or he didn’t. If he didn’t, Spade wouldn’t make it easy on him to find anything out, but neither would he lie to his best friend, if he could avoid it.

“Don’t you have something you want to tell me, Charles?” Crispin asked after the silence lengthened.

Spade almost smiled. “Certainly don’t.” That was the unvarnished truth.

“Right.” Spade could almost picture Crispin’s face hardening. “Why don’t I help you out? You can start by telling me what you’re up to with Denise MacGregor.”

Ian must have said something. No one else had recognized Denise except for him, untrustworthy sod.

“It’s nothing you need concern yourself with,” Spade replied in the same cool tone Crispin had used.

A snort. “We must have a bad connection, because you didn’t just tell me not to concern myself with my wife’s best friend, did you?”

Spade closed his eyes at the open challenge Crispin threw down. “I know you feel protective toward Denise because of her friendship with Cat, but she’s not one of your people,” Spade replied carefully, each word measured. “You’d need to have bitten or bedded Denise for that, and you’ve done neither. So with all the affection I have for you, Crispin, I say again,
this doesn’t concern you
.”

Now the snort on the other line held a tone of amazement. “Bloody hell, Charles, what’s gotten into you? I didn’t believe Ian when he said you were acting barmy, but now you’ve more than proved him correct.”

Better Crispin believe he’d lost his mind with lust than discover what was really going on. He was close to finding Nathanial. He could feel it.

“You’re not going to be reasonable, are you?” Crispin said, anger sharpening his tone when Spade didn’t answer.

“If by reasonable you mean asking your permission before I consort with a willing woman, then you’re right. I’m not going to be reasonable,” Spade replied.

“Put Denise on the phone. Let me hear from her that she’s choosing to be with you for no other reason than enjoyment of your company,” Crispin said curtly.

Considering his last conversation with Denise, Spade wasn’t about to put her on the phone until he talked some sense into her.

“She’s indisposed at the moment. I’ll have her ring you later.”

Crispin’s tone went from cool to icy. “You realize you’re leaving me no choice but to assume you’re hiding something.”

“It’s unfortunate you feel that way. I’d talk more about it, but I have to go now. Oh, one more thing.” Spade made no attempt to lessen the anger in his voice as he went on. “Tell Ian I’m keeping the house.”

He clicked his mobile shut, cutting off whatever Crispin’s reply might have been. So much for canceling the party to have a romantic evening with Denise. He had even less time to find Nathanial now that Crispin knew something was amiss. Still, best mate or no, he wouldn’t let Crispin interfere out of a mistaken sense of responsibility.

Denise was his, as Crispin would soon find out.

After a nice long shower, Denise came down the stairs. On the first floor, several people she’d never seen before scurried around, preparing things for whatever event Spade had scheduled tonight, she guessed. Now Spade could consider it her going-away party, because she intended to be on the first plane tomorrow, headed to wherever Bones and Cat were. All she needed was the number where to reach them, but for that, she needed Spade, and this Mediterranean house was as big as it was beautiful.

“Have you seen Spade?” she asked one of the people who passed by.

“Who?” the young man asked, balancing an overflowing tray and giving Denise a look that said it was heavy.

“Never mind,” she murmured. With Spade’s hearing, if she really wanted to find him, she could just yell out his name. Even amid all the commotion and the rest of the people talking, he’d hear her. Still, that seemed rude in the extreme, so she settled for looking through the first floor of the house. It was gorgeous, with marble throughout, huge windows overlooking a harbor in the distance, crystal chandeliers throwing elegant sparkles in the light, high ceilings, and archways leading to more fabulously decorated rooms.

But for all its beauty, there was no tall and dark vampire amid the pale, tasteful decor. Denise didn’t want to bother anyone else by asking for him, so she went outside. If the car they’d arrived in was there, she’d know Spade was still here, somewhere.

There were several cars in the long driveway. Delivery vehicles, it looked like. The cynic in Denise was shaking her head at all the food and spirits being carted in. This was a vampire party, after all. They ate from arteries, not hors d’oeuvre trays.

After a quick search of the grounds that revealed only exotic flowers, plants, and a few really nice statuettes, Denise went back inside. The activity seemed to have kicked up in the last twenty minutes, judging from the increased bustle of people.

“Denise!”

She turned in relief at Spade’s voice, but that faded when she saw him. He strode toward her, brows drawn together, handsome face wearing a thunderous expression.

“Why would you wander off without telling me?” he almost snapped.

She bristled. “Since I’m not a child, I don’t consider walking around outside as ‘wandering off.’ And I was looking for
you
, by the way.”

The tightness left his face. “Didn’t mean to bark at you. Just got worried when no one seemed to know where you were. Come on, you need to get ready. There’s not much time.”

He took her arm, gently propelling her back up the stairs. Denise didn’t reply until they were back in her room, even though with all the noise in the house now, she doubted anyone would hear her except Spade.

“I told you before; there’s no need for you to have this party. If it’s too late to call it off, I understand, but I don’t even need to come downstairs. You can just eat, drink, and be merry without me. We don’t need to worry about looking for Nathanial anymore.”

Spade rolled his eyes. Actually rolled them. “If you think I’d let you martyr yourself on my behalf, then you don’t know me. And you should know me enough by now to at least know that.”

“Oh, but I’m the type of person who should let you get killed, or at best, kill a bunch of people for me?” she flared. “Things changed. Neither of us knew what Nathanial was involved in when this started. Even when we found out, I didn’t fully understand all the implications behind it, but I get it now, and I said it’s over.”

He stared at her as if contemplating whether she meant it. Denise didn’t blink. She wasn’t making a fake offer just to assuage her conscience later. She would
not
let another man she cared about die because of her.

“You’re right, it is too late to cancel this evening,” he finally said. “And it would look odd if I didn’t greet my guests with my lover at my side, since I invited them to meet us both specifically. You don’t know vampire etiquette, but that would be considered quite rude. Might even cause issues for me later.”

Her bullshit alert was going off, but Spade’s expression was bland, offering her nothing. Maybe a no-show tonight from Spade’s supposed girlfriend
would
ruffle feathers.

The knowledge that after tomorrow, she’d never see Spade again was like a kick to the gut. Despite her best intentions, she’d gotten in way over her head emotionally with Spade. Why oh why was Spade the only man to inspire feelings in her she thought had died with Randy?

“All right,” Denise said at last. “One more act, if it’ll help.”

He smiled, something glinting in his gaze. “Oh, it will indeed.”

Spade stood in the alcove on the first floor, concealed by shadows, watching Denise as she came down the stairs.
Ravishing
, he thought, taking in the dark lavender gown hugging her upper arms while leaving her shoulders bare, the deep décolleté, fitted waist, and full skirt swaying with her steps. It was late eighteenth century, modernized with a zipper instead of multiple tiny buttons, and made of the finest Italian silk. With the diamond and amethyst necklace, matching earrings, amethyst-studded clips securing her hair, and the long, white gloves that came to Denise’s elbows, she looked like a queen.

He stepped out of the shadows when she reached the bottom, taking her gloved hand and kissing it. “You’re incredibly beautiful.”

She flushed. “Thank you.” Then she laughed. “I’m getting a flashback of that scene in
Titanic
with Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet at the grand staircase, but considering the ending, I guess that’s not a good omen.”

Spade drew his mouth away from her hand, but didn’t let it go. “Not to worry. The only icebergs here are tiny ones served in glasses.”

Her eyes roved over him in obvious enjoyment of his matching eighteenth-century attire, but then skidded away when he caught her gaze. An invisible wall seemed to be erected around her even though he still held her hand.

“So, what’s the agenda for tonight?” she asked in a businesslike manner, squaring her shoulders.

Take stock of Web. See who his associates are. Have you naked in my arms before sunrise.
“Just appear madly enamored of me, and that should suffice.”

She smiled almost bleakly as she tucked her hand in his arm. “Will do.”

Spade wondered at her abrupt switch in mood. Was she still cross with him for snapping at her earlier when he couldn’t find her? Or was she glum because she believed she was destined to be chained forever to her brands? That must be it, he decided, giving her a sideways look. Soon enough she’d realize he had no intention of resigning her to such a fate.

“We’ll greet our guests as they arrive, and then it will be the usual drinking, dancing, and socializing you’d expect from any party. Even though I don’t expect unpleasantries, try not to be without me or Alten near you.”

As if summoned, Alten appeared, wearing a modern version of a tuxedo and a white mask around his eyes.

Denise let out a small laugh. “What’s with the mask?”

Spade pulled out a lavender and crystal creation with combs to anchor in her hair. “This is a masquerade ball, didn’t I tell you?”

“No, you didn’t,” she said, taking the mask and turning it over in her hands. “The whole outfit is so pretty. Who am I supposed to be?”

“Marie Antoinette. And I’m King Louis XVI.”

She gave him a pensive look. “They were both executed.”

Spade leaned down, brushing his mouth near her ear. “I have no intention of letting history repeat itself with us, darling.”

And he didn’t. Denise would
not
suffer the same fate Giselda had by an untimely death. He’d keep her safe. This time, he wouldn’t fail.

Denise took a step back, putting more distance between them, her smile a little forced as she focused on Alten.

“And who are you supposed to be?”

Alten grinned, bowing deeply to Denise. “Casanova, of course.”

Denise tried to remember names by matching them with their masks, but she quickly realized that with so many people, she’d never get them all straight. For an impromptu ball, Spade had sure managed to fill a room. Or several rooms, to be more accurate.

The only person aside from Spade and Alten that Denise knew she wouldn’t forget was Web. He’d almost glided into the house, a tall man with a jet and crystal mask covering tawny hair and a face that was handsome, from what Denise could see of it. His costume was also black, with crystals tastefully accenting the edges of his sleeves, shoulders, coat, and pants. After Spade made introductions and she’d accepted his compliment on her dress, she asked him about his costume.

“A cosmic black hole,” Web explained, his mouth lifting in a smile that was polite and challenging at the same time.

Something deadly and unstoppable; of course Web had chosen that to meet his potential new vampire neighbor. She supposed coming as the largest cock of the keep would have been too obvious a statement.

“How fascinating,” Denise said. She even sounded sincere.

The woman with Web, whom Denise pegged as a vampire simply because
no one
could breathe in a dress that tight, didn’t look pleased when Web announced that he hoped Denise saved him a dance. Spade had laughed and said he’d try to let her away from him long enough, but underneath the smoothness of his voice, he didn’t sound pleased about it, either.

As the evening wore on, Denise kept reminding herself not to focus on Web and who was with him, and not to keep searching for Nathanial’s face under every partial mask of every male in the room. What was the point? She’d made her decision to quit looking for Nathanial. And then tomorrow she was leaving, never to see Spade again unless he happened to drop in on Cat and Bones while she was also around. That thought actually bothered her more than being branded for the rest of her life. Despite knowing better, she’d let herself fall for him. It took the eve of her departure for her to truly realize how much he’d come to mean to her. How could she fake being a happy couple when her already-battered heart felt like it was breaking again?

Tonight couldn’t end soon enough.

At least the food was delicious. Plus there was so much of it, even Denise was stuffed after her second helping. The party was spread out over the entire ground floor and the second floor, where the ballroom was. After seeing several vampires stop by one of the parlor rooms upstairs, then come out with notably pinker complexions, Denise realized Spade offered a different sort of buffet up there. She wondered if he had special humans lined up as snacks, or if there was just a plasma version of the champagne fountain that flowed downstairs. She decided not to find out.

Alten sat next to Denise, since for the past hour, Spade had been sweeping around the room exchanging pleasantries with Monaco’s undead elite. She knew it was useless torture, but she kept looking for him among the crowd, his dark head so easy to spot since he was taller than almost everyone in the room. Spade looked stunning in his vintage formal wear, a complicated knot like a silk waterfall at his neck, resplendent embroidered navy coat, matching pants, waist sword, and knee-high boots.

Wow
had been her first thought on seeing him dressed that way, followed immediately by
Don’t drool.
Even now, watching him, Denise couldn’t help but lick her lips.

“Denise.”

She blinked, returning her attention to Alten. “Sorry, what?”

His mouth quirked when he followed her gaze to Spade. “I asked if you were enjoying your filet mignon.”

“Oh yes. Delicious,” she replied automatically, and took another bite.

“Good. Enjoy it while you still can.”

That turned Denise’s attention fully to him. Had Spade told Alten that she was leaving tomorrow? “Why do you say that?”

He shrugged. “Food doesn’t taste the same after you turn into a vampire.”

Denise almost choked on her steak. Alten instantly began clapping her on the back, but she waved him off, swallowing her bite and then taking a hefty sip of champagne.

“Why would you think I’d do that?” she managed, voice still a little hoarse from the steak nearly lodging in her throat.

Even with the white mask covering half of Alten’s face, she could see his expression was dumbfounded.

“Because you’re with Spade,” he replied, his tone signifying that this should have been obvious to her.

“So?” Denise said, and then remembered that no, she wasn’t really with Spade, which made the whole topic moot.

Before Alten could reply, Spade swept up to their table, his mouth set in a tight line.

“Have better care next time,” Spade said sharply to Alten before bending down to encircle her from behind. “All right, darling?” he murmured, kissing the back of her neck.

It’s only an act
, Denise reminded herself. “I’m fine—and it’s not
his
fault I didn’t chew my food before swallowing.”

Spade exchanged a glance with Alten that she couldn’t read. Then he rose, holding out his hand.

“Come, dance with me.”

With her fragile emotional state over him, Denise didn’t want to, but considering their charade, it would look odd if she refused. She nodded, letting him draw her to her feet.