Fire of the Soul (7 page)

And Calia knew, after just two days’
acquaintance with him, that she could not bear Garit’s hatred. Left
to herself, she’d have told him the entire truth of her life
immediately. It was what she ought to have done with Lady Elgida.
But, during a long and sleepless night she convinced herself that
she was duty-bound to obey Lady Elgida’s instructions to keep
silent about Mallory and about her father. She believed that she
was further bound to accept whatever Lady Elgida decided must be
done to keep all three of her grandchildren safe.

“I have seen a clean stable,” Garit said in
late afternoon. “I’ve admired half a dozen well cared for horses,
looked at a coop full of plump chickens, and inspected a barn
that’s swept and ready to receive the first fruits of this season’s
harvest. My grandmother’s people who work both indoors and out are
cheerful, well fed, and apparently quite content. Calia, if you
show me one more immaculate detail, I swear I will draw my sword
and slay you where you stand.”

She had been heading toward the forester’s
cottage and a discussion of the uses of fallen trees, the control
of underbrush, and the benefits of allowing pigs to root among the
dead leaves and old acorns. At Garit’s muttered words she halted,
uncertain what to expect from him.

“I was joking,” he said, taking her arm and
turning her to face him. “I don’t often make jokes, but you’ve been
so serious, so obedient to my grandmother’s wishes, that I felt a
compelling urge to startle you.”

“Lady Elgida claims that you were a playful
boy,” she said. “However, I do not consider the threat of murder by
sword-thrust amusing.”

“Calia.”

His voice was softer as he clasped her
shoulders, thus preventing her from running away, which was what
she wanted to do. No, what she
ought
to do, if only her feet
would follow the commands she gave them.

“Calia, look at me. Please,” he added, almost
whispering now.

She met his bright blue gaze and caught her
breath at what she saw in his eyes.

“I will not harm you,” he said. “Not
ever.”

“You must not touch me, or embrace me as you
did last night,” she declared, trying to wrench herself out of his
hands as she spoke. He did not seem to be holding her shoulders
very tightly, yet she could not get free of him. “I cannot give you
what men expect of unimportant women like me, not and keep my place
with Lady Elgida. Aside from the fact that I love her and I won’t
abuse her kindness, in a practical sense my place with her is all I
have. Please, Garit, do not deprive me of my only home, or my only
friend.”

Still he held her, a large hand clamped on
each of her shoulders, while he looked deep into her eyes. And she,
fool that she was, could not tear her own gaze from his. She ached
to draw closer and rest her head on his shoulder, for she knew the
comfort and peace she would find there, if only for a few moments.
They would be false moments, engendered by Garit’s ignorance of her
parentage and her failure to tell him the truth.

“Garit,” she whispered, summoning all her
courage, “please release me. People are watching us. And people,
even the kindest of people, are prone to gossip.”

“I apologize.” He stepped back and made an
exaggerated, courtly bow. Then he uttered a false laugh and shook a
finger at her. “If you laugh, too,” he said, too softly for the
grooms or the stable boys to hear him, “anyone who sees us will
imagine you have been teasing me about my ignorance of farming
matters.”

“Garit, you really ought to pay more
attention to the crops,” she said in a loud voice. She shook her
head at him and dredged up a wavering smile, but she could not
force a laugh, no matter how she tried. Calia was beginning to fear
she’d never laugh again.

“I have come to a decision,” Lady Elgida
announced toward the end of the evening meal. “Garit, you will
escort me to Kantia to visit my erstwhile daughter-in-law and to
make certain that my youngest grandsons are safe and healthy.”

She spoke in a voice that was meant to be
heard by all, and every person in the hall stopped eating or
talking to stare at her in amazement. Some stared in dismay.

“Lady Elgida,” Calia began, horrified by the
idea of the woman she considered a dear friend undertaking such a
difficult trip. Not to mention what such a venture, which must
certainly include a meeting with Mallory, would mean for Garit.

She longed to ask how Lady Elgida could drag
him all unwilling and unsuspecting to a place where his life would
be endangered. Only Lady Elgida’s order not to tell Garit whose
daughter she was and whose son Mallory was kept her silent. She
wasn’t at all surprised to see Garit’s unhappy expression, which he
quickly concealed beneath a mildly interested look. Lady Elgida
apparently hadn’t noticed Garit’s reactions, or Calia’s, either,
for she continued to speak as if she hadn’t heard Calia’s attempt
to interrupt.

“I want to meet this Sir Mallory, whom King
Dyfrig has made guardian of Belai and Kinen,” she said. “I want to
judge the man for myself.”

Lady Elgida’s stern gaze on Calia plainly
admonished continued silence on the subject of Mallory, and of
Calia’s relationship to him. Even so, it was all Calia could do to
hold her tongue.

“Grandmother, you loathe Kantia,” Garit
exclaimed. “You’ve always said so. I cannot imagine why you would
concoct such a wild scheme.”

“No wildness is involved. I consider this
particular visit to be my duty as a grandparent,” Lady Elgida
responded. “Now, Garit, do not attempt to dissuade me by claiming
that I am too old for travel. I’ll rebut your argument by citing
all the elderly mages, men and women both, who undertake long
pilgrimages that last for years. Spring and summer are the best
seasons for a voyage, and if we set out within the next week, we
can be back at Saumar in time to oversee the autumn harvest.”

“Voyage?” Garit repeated, his expression so
calm, and so peculiarly bland that Calia knew he was deliberately
concealing his opinion behind the mask of diplomatic
self-control.

“We?” Calia gasped. “My lady, I cannot go
with you. Surely, you understand why not.” It was all she dared to
say while Garit was listening, and Lady Elgida’s cool look scolded
her for even so minor a protest.

“Grandmother,” Garit said in a warning tone,
“I have explained to you several times that I do not want Kinath
Castle. I’m content for Belai to hold it when he grows up. Surely,
after their years together, King Dyfrig knows Sir Mallory well and
considers him a responsible guardian for Belai and Kinen, or he
would not have appointed him to that post. Speaking for myself, I
have no reason to pledge my fealty to King Dyfrig, and even less
reason for returning to Kantia. Have you considered the possibility
that the king and Sir Mallory will take offense at my sudden
appearance and conclude that I mean to cause trouble over
Kinath?”

Calia could see by the expression on Lady
Elgida’s lined face that her mind was made up. True to her
determined character, Lady Elgida was not going to be swayed by any
objection, no matter how well reasoned. Indeed, her next words
proved that she had thought her plans through with some
thoroughness before announcing them.

“Garit, since you have nothing special to do
just now you may take yourself off to Port Moren first thing
tomorrow morning, and there you will hire a ship for a period of
two months. I refuse to sail across the Sea of Lestrac on one of
those disreputable ferries, or to be bogged down later on muddy
Kantian roads or subjected to vile, flea-infested Kantian inns. I
returned to Saumar from Kantia by ship, and I quite enjoyed the
voyage.”

“You were twenty-five years younger then,”
Garit protested.

“Choose a good sized vessel, with room enough
for Calia and me, and Mairne, too, to have a bit of privacy.” Lady
Elgida’s haughty expression challenged Garit to say again that she
was too old to make such a trip and she continued to give orders as
if her grandson hadn’t spoken. “You’ll want space aboard ship for
yourself and that glowering squire of yours, for the horses, and
for our baggage. We’ll take along half a dozen men-at-arms for our
protection once we reach Kantia. The men who came here with you and
two or three stout fellows from Saumar should do nicely. I
understand a certain number of ships are for hire to carry nobles
across the Sea of Lestrac. No doubt you are familiar with some of
them, and with their captains, so I leave the selection of the ship
to you.”

“Thank you for trusting me that much,
Grandmother.”

“Watch your tone with me, my lad. You will do
as I say. Allow me to inform you right now that if I am not content
with the arrangements the king of Kantia has made for my grandsons,
or if I have any reason to think they may not be safe in Sir
Mallory’s care, then I will expect you to petition King Dyfrig for
guardianship of them, and also to request that he grant Kinath
Castle to you as the eldest son of the previous lord. Whether you
want the place or not is irrelevant to me. You can always turn the
castle over to Belai once he’s grown to manhood. In the meantime,
you have a duty to your little brothers, and a duty to me, too.

“Come along, Calia, I have instructions for
you and Mairne. We must begin packing at once. I want to be gone
from Saumar as soon as possible.”

“My lady,” Calia protested the moment Mairne
had been sent from Lady Elgida’s bedchamber on an errand, “you
cannot expect me to accompany you to Kantia.”

“Why not? You are my companion, aren’t you? A
member of my household, under my rule?”

“Yes, of course I am, but Mallory will
recognize me.”

“What if he does? You have nothing to hide
from him. My daughter Adana sent you to me, to act as companion,
and you will be at my side in Kantia, surprised and delighted to
see your dear brother again. That’s all Mallory needs to know.”

“Garit is certain to learn who Mallory is. He
will be angry to discover that his old home is now in Mallory’s
care. Any man with a crumb of pride would be. What’s more, I know
my brother; even if no one else in all of Kantia is aware of the
name of Walderon of Catherstone, Mallory will take great pleasure
in telling Garit just who our father was. You said you wanted Garit
kept in ignorance of that dreadful truth. I thought you wanted him
kept safe. How can he possibly be safe in a situation that’s
fraught with such peril? And what will his reaction be when he
learns that you and I have been lying to him?”

“I thought you trusted me, Calia.”

“I do trust you. I just wish I could make you
understand how vicious Mallory can be when he’s crossed.”

“If he’s that dangerous, then we ought to
remove Belai and Kinen from his care as soon as possible and our
voyage to Kantia becomes even more urgent. Now, you told me just a
few nights ago that Mallory is a patient man. I assume from what
else you said about him that he won’t openly risk his own
position.”

“Probably not,” Calia agreed with some
reluctance at having to think about her brother at all.

“Well, then, I dare to hope that Mallory’s
patience with regard to those boys will last until we reach
Kantia.”

“My lady,” Calia said, making one final
effort to coax Lady Elgida into seeing reason, though she knew it
was almost certainly a useless attempt, “we have an obligation to
warn Garit to be on his guard. Mallory is sure to assume he’s in
Kantia to take Kinath for himself, so he will be looking for an
excuse to draw his sword against Garit.” Or to attempt some less
obvious violence, for Mallory could be devious. He rarely employed
his corrupt Power, preferring to use less exhausting means of
getting what he wanted, but if his position was threatened, he’d
not hesitate. However, Calia’s plea to tell Garit what she thought
he ought to know made no impression on Lady Elgida.

“You will honor your promise of silence until
I release you from it. After I have met both Fenella and Mallory,
I’ll be able to judge the current situation at Kinath more
intelligently,” Lady Elgida said. “We will arrive with no previous
notice, which will off er the opportunity for us to see their
reactions to our unexpected presence there.”

“Surely, you cannot think that Lady Fenella
is involved in any scheme to harm her own children!” Calia
exclaimed.

“Ah, Mairne, there you are,” Lady Elgida
said, still not responding to Calia’s urgent concerns. “Yes, those
are the wicker hampers I meant. I’m glad you found them so quickly.
Let me see if they are as deep as I remembered. We will need to
take warmer clothing than we’d require here at Saumar in
summertime. Kantia is a colder place by far.”

Calia was not at all surprised to find Garit
waiting for her by the fireplace in the hall. A few words with him
during the quiet half hour before retiring had quickly become
precious to her. She knew she shouldn’t allow even so brief an
intimacy and yet she could not stay away. She reminded herself that
it had long been her habit to make certain the doors were latched
and the fires were banked. If Garit chose to wait for her each
evening, then she could not stop him. He held a greater right to
move freely about Saumar Manor than she did. Even as she made her
flimsy excuse to herself, she knew it was just that – an excuse
aimed at assuaging her guilt over the pleasure she experienced
whenever they spoke in private.

She came up to the fire and reached for the
heavy poker. Garit put out a hand to stop her.

“I’ll see to the logs later,” he said. “Here,
Calia, sit and drink a cup of wine with me.”

“You aren’t sitting,” she pointed out, having
immediately noticed the way he was pacing back and forth in front
of the fire, displaying a barely contained energy that was at odds
with his usual self-control. She could not wonder that he was moved
by anger at being forced to do something he had plainly said
several times that he did not want to do. Any proud man would react
in the same way. He pushed an overfull cup of wine into her hand,
spilling a good part of it and not seeming to notice. Calia watched
him in fascination.