Fire and Shadows (Ashes and Ice #2) (14 page)

43

DESI

Desi couldn’t wait
any longer. She had gone into New Orleans for a reason. The number was in her pocket. Her son was in the next room screaming at walls and blank mirrors. She was afraid of what he might do to himself and she knew she had to protect him. Tears streamed down her face as she called the number on the business card. She hoped she was doing the right thing, but a part of her knew either way, she was losing her son. As soon as she dialed the number, the headache fizzled away and she was left to whisper into the receiver. Her son standing in a mess of blood and broken mirrors in the next room.

44

GIOVANNI

Lynx traced the
lines on Jade’s skin where the ragged bleeding lines had been only a few hours before. “This symbol will help you suppress the evil within you. It will help you keep Dejanira weak and unable to surge to the surface.” Jade concentrated on the movement of Lynx’s hand and tried to do the same motion. She nodded. “Do I have to always cut it on my skin?” It wasn’t a despairing voice as if she was terrified of having to do what Lynx had done
;
instead
,
it was a purely informative question. She wanted to know because she would not hesitate to do it if the answer was yes. I wanted to interrupt them. I was boiling over from the revelation of this secret that they had kept from me. Dejanira was within Jade. She just had been too weak to come out. As Jade
became
stronger, so
did
Dejanira. Dejanira was the dark weapon that the rumors were about. She was the one that Lilith adored
,
and who was the heir of
ell
Hell. She was the one who had killed
____
all those years ago. Jade had been too weak then. She couldn’t fight her. She had lost. All the stories and the rumors were about Dejanira
—
a demon of black eyes and spidery veins and pointy teeth
;
a demon who adored torturing people and hearing their screams
,
a demon who was too powerful when unleashed to retrain. Only Jade could do it.

“
No
,”
Lynx said.
“
You just have to draw it. “Even if you forget what it means...”

“
I would never forget.”

Lynx paused. He lifted his hand to Jade
’s cheek, cupping it and
looked
into her eyes. It looked like he was about to say something; she crinkled her nose when he didn’t. Instead
,
he searched her face and an unreadable sad expression passed over his face. He leaned forward
,
and kissed her forehead and then patted her shoulder. She narrowed her eyes at him confused. “Lynx, I
—”

He turned away from her, his eyes
purposefully
on me. He did a quick nod toward the door and I knew I had to follow. “I’ll be back
,
my dear. I need to talk to the angel.”

The way he said
‘
the
angel’
sent a shot through me. It sounded like a curse word, an accusation, an ugly thing. I immediately felt defensive
,
as if I needed to reinstate the dignity in the word. I followed him out into the garden. As soon as the door clanged shut, he turned on me. “Why did you come?”

It had been months since I had been with Jade and Lynx
,
and the reason I came to their doorstep so long ago was foggy even to me. It seemed as if years had passed... decades even. As if that day was a million smiles, jests, stolen touches and secret glances away. Lynx took my hesitation as if I was preparing to lie.

“
Don’t.”

I wasn
’t going to lie. I was about to utter the most true words I had ever spoken. I was about to confess to this man in robes, smudged grey, and wrinkled because he was the only one I could tell. “I came because Heaven wanted Jade. I didn’t leave because I realized that I wanted her more.”

Although Lynx
’s eyebrows only tipped up the slightest bit, I could tell that he was surprised by my confession. His eyes drifted to the door behind me, one eyebrow arching up. “Are you and Jade...”

“
No
,
” I said quickly. “She doesn’t know... how I feel
,
” I said. “I don’t want her to know. I just... don’t want to leave.”

“
Why can’t she know?”

“
Because... there is no way in Heaven or
ell
Hell to be with her. And I’d rather think that is the reason I have to keep my distance, than the idea that she knew and simply does not want me back.”

Lynx smiled at this
;
which
it seemed like the cruelest thing to do in the moment. “I am not sure that would be the case.” I wanted to ask him if he knew something about her feelings, but he plowed on with more urgency. “We are being tracked.”

“
What do you mean?”

“
We are being tracked and they are getting closer. We don’t have much time...”

“
How are we being tracked? I never disclosed your location. I never...”

“
The angels have gotten hold of a Memory Weaver and the demons are following their trail
.”

I deflated. A Memory Weaver. A person who could tap into the mind of another and search through memories for answers. She could also twist memories and take them away. But what could she have used? What could...
my shoulders hunched in. The bloodied cloth. The cloth that I had used to know the scent and feel of Jade’s presence. The one I had tossed aside because I didn’t want to have a piece of her in my pocket. They were coming and it was my fault. I raked my hand through my hair. “What are we going to do?”

“
What we must.” The tinge of sorrow in his voice sounded alarm bells in me.

“
And what is that?”

“
We have to strip her of her memories and send her away.”

I gasped in a breath, startled.
“You mean...” I shook my head. “No. No! We can’t do that to her.” It wasn’t a selfless statement. Of course, it seemed like a terrible betrayal to do that, but more so
,
I would have no place in her world. I would be a stranger and so would Lynx.

“
You would go with her. You would protect her. You would help her remember
,
” Lynx said calmly as if he knew exactly what I was thinking.

The anger subsided slightly. I would go with her. I looked to the closed door that went into the
house. Jade was on the other side trying to practice how to fend off a demon, a demon that lived inside her.

I looked back at Lynx, pain tearing at my voice.
“How do we do it?”

Weaker, I couldn’t hold off the memories. Weaker, everything felt too heavy. Lynx was here, but with the way the icy walls were stealing my energy, I didn’t know if I would be able to leave this place intact. I looked at Jade as we stepped into a new corridor and we both skid to a stop. Gnarled, grotesque bodies stared back at us. I gasped as we saw hundreds of beasts frozen in the ice walls.

“
What is this?” Jade breathed.

I knew the tales, the stories told to the children of the Gold City. The devil had an army of beasts that would tear apart the angels limb from limb and gnaw on their bones. The stories had faded into legend, into myth. But here they were... frozen and waiting.

“This is the lost army,” I said. “This is the army we will have to face.”

Jade shuddered, before reaching out her hand to graze the ice in front of one of the monstrous soldiers. Her face flickered for a moment and I thought I saw something like pride before the fear settled back in place. She tore her hand away and grabbed mine.
“We have to hurry!”

45

JADE

A sick knot
in my stomach was twisting as we passed the monsters in all the icy corridors. I wouldn’t stop again—I couldn’t look into their glassy black eyes, or the scarred tissue of their faces. I followed the screaming, and deep down in the darkest part of me where Dejanira rested, I could feel something like glee bubble up with every ear-splitting screech. The knot twisted harder. My tattoo blazed brighter. His screams echoed in the crystalline ice chambers. Every scream from Lynx was a stab to my chest. The previous night, it was his voice who comforted me in my dream; he was the one who had saved me from this place; he was the one who sacrificed so much... and now this. Tears streamed down my face.

The screams echoed from a large, cavernous blue void past the monster. If it weren
’t for the screaming, it would have been beautiful. But with Lynx’s body misshapen and frozen in the ice, it was nothing but an ugly prison chamber. Giovanni and I ran and slid on our knees on the floor as the ice changed from flat crystalline floor to rough-like frozen undulating waves. Lynx’s shifty eyes wouldn’t focus on me; it was as though he couldn’t see me at all. “Lynx. Lynx!” The tears streamed down my face like rivers. They wouldn’t stop. “Listen to me! We are here. We are going to get you out.” I tried pulling at him, but his body was partway submerged in the ice.

Giovanni
quickly stepped forward; his arms reached up around me and braced themselves on the wall of ice around Lynx. Giovanni’s voice shook, his breath hot against my ear. “Jade, Jade, please. Reach deep, try to feel the Seraph inside you. I can’t do this alone.” Giovanni never,
never,
had pleaded or begged me of anything. Then why was the tremble and desperation in his voice something that clenched my heart in such a familiar ache? His heat radiated off him and burned into my back.

The ice started to melt and drip down in rivulets breaking the ice, and freeing the lake, inch by inch, releasing Lynx
’s broken limbs. I held his cheeks in my palms, sniffling and remembering the strong, proud white-haired man behind his red door. This man was a twitching, lackluster man, his bones splintered and his skin frost bitten. Reach. Reach.
Reach.
I tried. Tried so hard to find the well of heat and strength and heaven, but I grasped at nothing. Just an oily sea of
her
grasped at me.

There is nothing else to reach for
, Dejanira cooed.
Nothing else at all
. I gritted my teeth and retreated from my mind. Giovanni was grunting from the effort as his cobalt energy continued to melt the ice. My fingers grazed Lynx’s cheeks. “I remembered, Lynx. I remember you saving me. I promise,” I said, throat raw and weak, “We will save you now.”

As soon
as his arms were free of the ice, he began to wiggle his fingers as if he disbelieved that he was actually seeing his own hands in front of him. His eyes rolled back for a moment so I could only see the white of them. I gasped and shook his face. “Stop it, Lynx! Look at me!”

He did. His pupils dilated to pinpoints, his eyes widening. A furious snarl appeared on his lips as he lashed his hands out at me, trying to scratch at my face. All the melted ice had started to break apart and create a lagoon on glacial water. I jumped back, colliding with Giovanni. His arms wrapped around me for a brief moment protectively. Lynx had started to slip under. Giovanni turned me around to face him and inspected my face.
“You’re fine.” He pushed me aside while Lynx was snarling. Giovanni started to haul him out of the water. Lynx’s gaze never left me; he was predatory and determined.

I shivered. A wave of black tar swooshed into my mind.
You shouldn’t fear anyone. You shouldn’t shake, cower or tremble. You are perfectly made and the world should bow and tremble to you.

My hand started to rise on its own
. I could feel a violent energy hum within it and it was not going to be merciful. I worked to keep my hand from rising and noticed that just a thin sliver of my tattoo was left... an amber glow amidst white raised skin. My arm flailed and jerked out of my grasp. Lynx snarled at me again, as if he recognized the gesture. As if he knew what was coming. I gasped in a breath, biting the inside of my mouth. I reached forward and snagged Giovanni’s knife looped into the side of his boot. I fell to my knees and started carving into my skin, re-opening the lines that were there before. The jerking in my arm dissipated, but I could hear a growl rising up within me in protest. I had no idea how we would even be able to get him out,

Once the mark was made, I felt the calm
, my clarity and strength settle back in. Almost immediately, the wound started closing and I could feel the lethal desire creeping in.

“
Oh daughter.” The familiar voice sounded behind me. “Stop cutting that lovely skin of yours. It won’t save you. Not here.”

I turned around and saw my mother, Lilith in all her morbidly cold beauty, glide towards us.